Chapter Forty #2
together? What reasons have you got that make this make sense?”
“The way you make me feel,” Mark said without
hesitation. “Not just physically, although that’s certainly part of
it. But I feel good when I’m around you. I feel like I’m the person
I want to be, not the one everyone else thinks I should be. When
you smile, it makes me smile, and when you’re unhappy, I’m unhappy.
You’re strong and kind and funny and you talk to squirrels. You’re
Lucas, and I want to be with you.”
Lucas stared at him for a long moment and
Mark could see the man’s shoulders slowly sinking, his fists
gradually relaxing back into hands. “Just the one,” Lucas finally
said. “One squirrel. I don’t talk to all of them.”
“Okay,” Mark said and he let himself shuffle
a little closer. “Just one squirrel.”
“And maybe her babies,” Lucas admitted. “I
haven’t seen them yet, but when I see them, I might talk to them a
little.”
“It would be rude not to,” Mark agreed and he
took another step.
“I’m sorry if I overreacted,” Lucas said
sheepishly, his gaze wavering and drifting back toward his escape
window.
Mark took the final step quickly, but instead
of grabbing Lucas like he wanted to, he reached out and hooked his
fingers inside the waistband of Lucas’s jeans. It felt good, and he
could see why Lucas liked doing it. It felt like he could hold
Lucas here, keep him from escaping. Lucas looked back at him when
he felt the gentle pressure from Mark’s grip.
“You didn’t overreact,” Mark said. “This is
new to both of us, and that was a bad situation. I’m sorry.”
Lucas frowned. “Just for the record, I don’t
give a shit about your mother.” He made a face. “I don’t mean that.
I mean, I feel bad for what I did to her. I wish there was some way
to make it better, but there isn’t.” He made another face, clearly
frustrated by the inadequacy of words. But he kept trying. “But
it’s not like I’m dying to meet your family or something. I don’t
care if you ignore me every time you see me when we’re out there. I
get it. I just care about in here.”
“I care about out there,” Mark said.
“But I’m not quite sure how to fix it. I’ll work on it.”
“Some things can’t be fixed.” Lucas was
clearly talking from personal experience. “Sometimes things just
suck and that’s all there is to it.”
“I hope this isn’t one of those times,” Mark
said firmly. “But if it is, we’ll deal with it. Okay?”
Lucas looked like he was deciding whether or
not to argue. Finally, he nodded. “Okay,” he said, but it felt like
he was saying it for Mark’s benefit, not because he actually
believed it himself.
Mark had no more words, and he was no longer
worried about getting punched, so he tugged a little more on
Lucas’s jeans and brought their bodies together, then their lips.
This was a whole new kind of kiss. They’d had adrenaline-fueled
lust, insecurity-based passion, and the sensual exploration of the
night before. Now, Mark was kissing to give comfort. He was trying
to show Lucas how he felt using his body instead of his words, and
he hoped that Lucas would find the physical display more
convincing.
And that was what God had intended, Mark
realized. Sex was fun, but it was also important. Or it could be.
And it would be between Mark and Lucas. “Can you stay a while?” he
asked, his lips brushing against Lucas’s as he spoke.
“You going to cook again?”
Mark drowned Lucas’s snicker with a kiss. “I
could. Or we could order in. Or…maybe we don’t need food? Not quite
yet?”
Lucas pulled away a little. “Don’t tease,” he
said firmly.
“I’m not. It feels right, now. Doesn’t it
feel right to you?”
“It’s been feeling right for days to me.”
Well, that was fair enough. “Does it
still?”
Lucas licked his lips and his eyes danced as
he said, “I don’t know. Maybe you could persuade me.”
“Now who’s being a tease?”
“Take your shirt off.”
It wasn’t an outrageous request but the
bluntness caught Mark by surprise. “What?”
“Your shirt. Off.” Lucas raised an eyebrow.
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Anything not covered by a
towel, I’ve seen. So show me again.”
This wasn’t quite how Mark had seen things
going, but he obediently reached up and began unbuttoning his
shirt. Lucas watched intently, stepping back a little so he could
see better.
“This feels uncomfortable,” Mark said. “Like
I’m on display.”
“You don’t have to do it,” Lucas said calmly.
“If you don’t want to, don’t.”
“And then what happens?”
Lucas shrugged. “I have no idea.” He watched
Mark for a moment longer before taking pity on him, stepping
forward and bringing his hands to the half-buttoned placket of
Mark’s shirt. “Okay,” he said softly, and his kiss was sweet and
gentle.
Mark pushed away abruptly. He wasn’t a shy
little kid. This wasn’t his first time. And Lucas was asking to see
less skin than Mark had displayed any time he’d gone swimming in
the past thirty years. He quickly finished unbuttoning his shirt
and shrugged it off his shoulders onto the floor.
The appreciation in Lucas’s eyes was the only
reward Mark needed. He stood still, his arms hanging just a little
out from his sides, and let Lucas look.
“Turn around?” Lucas suggested, and Mark did
as he was told.
He could sense Lucas approaching but he still
jumped a little at the first warm touch on his shoulder blades.
Fingertips, Mark realized, making the same tiny circles that his
own had made on Lucas’s arms. Then a kiss, then more circles, then
another kiss. Mark couldn’t anticipate the spots that would receive
special attention, couldn’t find a pattern to any of it, and he
gave up trying fairly quickly. It didn’t matter.
Lucas nuzzled in over Mark’s shoulder and
kissed his ear. “Your skin’s so smooth,” he murmured. “No
scars?”
“There’s one on my thigh. I think that’s
it.”
“Let me see it?”
Mark only hesitated a moment before he
brought his hands to the button of his pants. Yes, Lucas could see
the scar. He could see whatever he wanted, touch wherever he
wanted. Mark was his, and there was no point pretending
otherwise.
He shimmied out of the pants and let them
fall to the floor, his hands cupping protectively over the erection
tenting his practical navy boxers. Lucas’s hands snaked around from
behind Mark, following the line of his arms down until their
fingers laced together, both of them cupping Mark’s hard cock.
Lucas pressed his fingers in more tightly, bringing Mark’s along
with them, and Mark groaned at the new pressure wrapping around his
most sensitive flesh.
“What about the scar?” he managed to gasp,
and he felt Lucas’s breath huff against his ear.
“I got distracted,” Lucas admitted, and he
tightened his grip a little and began moving their hands, gently
stroking Mark through the cotton of his underwear.
“Lucas,” Mark gasped. “I’m not going to last
long, not if you keep that up.”
Another huff of laughter. “Got a bit of a
hair trigger, do you?” Lucas kissed his neck, then nipped a little.
“That’s fucking hot, thinking that you get excited so fast.”
“Only with you,” Mark managed. He couldn’t
say for sure that his words were true. It might be Lucas, it might
be the years of abstinence. Most likely it was some combination of
the two, but it was undeniable that he was about to embarrass
himself and Lucas didn’t seem inclined to help him avoid the
humiliation.
Lucas actually seemed interested in speeding
things along a little. His free hand slipped inside Mark’s boxers
and took over the grip from Lucas’s other hand, the thrill of skin
on skin almost lost in all the other sensations. The enveloping
warmth was even tighter now, the motion more rhythmic and
insistent. Mark gasped and tried to find some way to control
himself, something to save him from tumbling over the edge. Then
Lucas shifted behind him and Mark could feel Lucas’s own hardness,
through the fabric of underwear and jeans, pressing into Mark’s
ass, edging between his cheeks, and there was no point in fighting
anymore.
He groaned something incomprehensible as his
body arched and spasmed. He could feel Lucas behind him, one arm
wrapped around his chest and holding him up, the other tight and
demanding on his cock, milking him through the first explosion and
then all the trembling aftershocks. He was dimly aware of Lucas
muttering nonsensical encouragement into his ear, and then, as he
came back to himself, of Lucas’s lips on his neck, his jaw,
stretching forward but not quite reaching his mouth.
“So beautiful,” Lucas murmured as he eased
his hand out of Mark’s underwear, wiping it on the fabric as he
went. “So perfect.” He eased himself around Mark’s body and pressed
their fronts together, Mark’s near-nudity against Lucas’s jeans and
T-shirt. Lucas kissed Mark, deep and sweet, and it honestly felt
like he was willing to let things end there even though Mark could
feel Lucas’s hardness braced against his own groin.
But just because Lucas wasn’t making demands
it didn’t mean Mark didn’t have responsibilities. Privileges. “What
can I do?” he asked. “What do you like?”
Lucas’s grin was half sweet, half wolfish. “I
like a lot of things.” He kissed Mark before adding, “Mostly, I
like you.”
“Okay,” Mark said uncertainly. “But what part
of me? What can I do for you?”
Lucas squinted at him. “Mark? That stuff we
just did? That wasn’t for you. That was for me. I’ve been wanting
to do that for days, wanting to know what you sound like, what you
feel like when you come. It wasn’t a present, or a favor.” He
shrugged. “If you feel like doing something with me, go for it. If
you don’t—”
“I do,” Mark said quickly. “I just…there’s so
many options!”
There was a hint of sadness in Lucas’s smile.
“Well, hopefully we’ll have time to go through some of those in the
future. For now, just pick one. Or more than one, if you’re feeling
ambitious.”
Mark nodded slowly. Pick something. Do
whatever he wanted. With Lucas. Yeah, he could think of lots of
options. He smiled and laced his fingers through Lucas’s. “Come
on,” he said, tugging gently. “I want you horizontal.”
Lucas grinned. “I like the sound of that,” he
said, and he obediently followed Mark to the bedroom.