Chapter Nineteen
Eliza had been readying for bed when she received the Black Widow’s summons in much the same way as the first—through her maid.
After wringing a reluctant agreement from Cassie to do whatever she must to make sure Eliza’s absence was not discovered, she’d slipped from the house. This time, however, the Black Widow’s carriage was waiting in the mews.
After she arrived, she had a short conference with the Black Widow, who subsequently left to arrange things as Eliza had requested.
Eliza had asked about Adrian, but the widow would only say that Adrian had suffered a shock and had subsequently pleaded with her to arrange a meeting with the Blackbird.
Eliza had mixed feelings.
She was haunted by the expression on Adrian’s face when he’d seen her on his doorstep with Mr. Vane—an expression of shock and bewildered pain. The only plausible cause she could think of had been the sight of her with Mr. Vane.
But that didn’t make any sense.
She’d felt as if Adrian was coming to care for her, but she hadn’t discerned grand passion in their tender kiss. If he’d fallen for her, why had he failed to call on her for an entire week?
She’d convinced herself that he’d kissed her only because he’d been caught up in the moment, disoriented both by the Waterloo painting and by the things he’d unintentionally revealed.
And when she received the summons, she’d become even more certain she’d mistaken friendship for growing attachment. If he were coming to care for Eliza Wainwright, why contact the Blackbird?
Her musings left her oddly hurt.
And angry.
On the other hand, if she were honest, she wanted to see Redver again as the Blackbird. She wanted to see if there was, indeed, a spark between them, and how it was different from the spark she felt when with him as herself.
Why did she feel so drawn to Adrian?
Why did just the flick of his gaze leave her excited and trembling, while Mr. Vane’s actual touch left her nothing but cold?
Stupid, traitorous, wayward body.
Why did it not simply respond as she commanded?
Perhaps, if she could see him, she could make her decision. A life of ease with the comfortable Mr. Vane, or…
Or what?
Adrian had made her no offers, either as the Blackbird, or as herself. Well, not unless she counted offering to be her friend. She wished he was her friend in truth. She could use a confidant she trusted.
She entered the chamber they’d used on the prior visit. As she’d requested, Adrian had been, not only blindfolded, but bound.
She was not taking any chances.
At her entrance, Adrian lifted his head. “Blackbird?”
“I heard you wanted to see me again,” Eliza answered an altered, sultry voice.
“Was this”—he yanked at his bindings—“necessary?”
“Perhaps. Perhaps not. If you were in my position, would you have trusted me to remain blindfolded?”
He flattened his lips. “You might have trusted to my honor.”
“Honor,” she said hotly, “is a code between men. An unspoken agreement never extended to unwanted children and women outside wedlock, and only rarely to wives. Wives men deem well-behaved.”
The ghost of a smile haunted his lips. “I’d forgotten how biting you can be.”
“Biting,” she repeated bitterly.
“If you were a man,” he said, far too reasonably, “I could call you out.”
“Which rather proves my point, does it not? If I were a man, you would not have had to call me out. We would simply discuss whatever matter we wished, because I would trust you, and you, me.”
“Come, then. Sit. I have a matter which I would like to discuss with you.”
He must be uncomfortable, though he was using a tone one might use over tea, and his long legs were stretched across the mattress and nonchalantly crossed at the ankles.
Well, at least this time he was fully clothed.
Uncertainly, she sat down on the bed beside him. “When I received Mrs. Dove-Lyon’s note conveying your request to meet me, I asked myself what a man would do. I decided a man would accept. But on his own terms, and without taking needless risks.”
“Binding me is your way of not taking chances?”
“In part. I don’t trust you—”
“Why? When have I broken any agreement between us?”
She winced. “I don’t trust you because I have learned not to trust. But I also I asked for you to be bound because I wanted you to understand what it is to have no choice. To be vulnerable.”
She laid a palm against his thigh. To her surprise, he jerked away from her touch.
She assessed him with a curious stare. And then, she folded her hands in her lap.
“I was a soldier,” he pointed out. “I know vulnerability in a way you will never understand.”
She considered this. Despite a pang of guilt she said, “But soldiering, too, was your choice. You’ve had so many choices in life, you take their very existence for granted.”
“I won’t argue there. But let me come to my point…”
She braced for a vulgar proposition.
“Bessie told me your price was marriage.”
Oh, Heavens. He wasn’t going to propose, was he? And to the Blackbird?
“She was wrong,” Eliza quickly replied. “Marriage is never what I wanted…from you.”
“What did you want?”
She felt her cheeks heat. “I wanted you to want me. And then…” She hesitated. “I wanted to take from you the way you assumed you had the right to take from me.”
“I know,” he said gently. “And I asked for this meeting because I would like you to know how well you succeeded.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve recently realized how much my manner of living—or, rather, not living—affects my family. And I came to this realization because of you, Blackbird.”
“That’s why you summoned me?” She swallowed to keep her voice from cracking. “You didn’t simply want to use me for distraction?”
“No… Although I suppose I can see how you might come to that conclusion.” He frowned as he considered.
“I suppose you deserve to know the whole. The truth is, I think I’ve fallen in love.
Quick, I know, but utterly sincere. And I don’t think I would have been able to do so, if you had not shocked me out of my stupor. ”
“You’ve what?” she whispered.
“I’ve fallen in love…and I intend to ask the young lady for her hand.”
She reminded herself to breathe.
“You said you asked yourself what a man would do,” he continued. “After my…shock, I asked myself a similar question. I asked myself what you would want. And the answer that came to me was to know that I learned the lesson you set out to teach me.”
She covered her mouth.
“I wanted to see you and I agreed to this”—he yanked at his bindings—“because I wanted to apologize. To clear the air so that I could begin anew and with good conscience. In other words, I wanted to thank you.”
“There’s no need…” Her voice wobbled. He wanted to thank her? When she’d demanded the Wolf back truss him up like a pig for slaughter? He wanted to thank her so his conscience would be free to ask her—as Eliza—to marry him.
She reached out to remove his blindfold. As her hand hovered in the air, her body went cold.
The truth—that she and the Blackbird were one and the same—might kill the love he’d just proclaimed. And that might kill her, too.
Because she loved him, too.
She loved him and she was desperately afraid she’d lose him if he ever learned the truth.
With a cry of confusion, she fled the room.
Eliza stretched across the bed face down in her pillow, damp from the stream of tears which she’d cried into it. Behind her, she heard Cassie’s feet shuffling against the carpet as her sister paced.
“Everything is ruined.” Down muffled Eliza’s lament. “There’s no hope of an honorable marriage for me.”
“Well. I imagine, after you cried out to ‘Adrian’ this afternoon, that Mr. Vane—like the rest of us—has realized you are closer to the marquess than you both pretended.”
“I hadn’t even thought of how Mr. Vane must be feeling!” Eliza lifted her head. “All my planning has come to naught!”
“The way you held out your hands to the marquess. The way you blushed, Eliza! I was never so shocked in my life. I knew you were more interested in Redver than you let on, but you acted like you were…”
Lovers. They were. Only Adrian didn’t know—couldn’t ever know—they had been.
Eliza indulged in another sob.
“Eliza, please. You never really wanted Jonathan Vane.”
“Perhaps not,” Eliza admitted. “I was becoming close to the marquess, but when Adrian discovers the how I deceived him, he, too will hate me.”
“You don’t know ‘Adrian’ will hate you.” Cassie sighed. “Was I this bad after Almack’s?”
Again, Eliza lifted her head. “Worse.”
Cassie wrinkled her nose. “I apologize.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who has failed.”
“Who has failed at what?”
“At making a match that would restore our respectability.”
Cassandra sat down by her side. She brushed Eliza’s hair away from her face with gentle fingers. “When you fail, you fail spectacularly…”
Eliza flipped over, her laugh little more than half-hearted. “Be serious.”
“I am serious.”
Eliza set a hand against her forehead. “Everyone present must have been able to see that something…untoward had happened between Adrian and me.”
“What did happen?”
“Please don’t ask me to tell you. I can’t.” She squeezed her eyes closed, but she was still able to see the anticipated judgment in Cassie’s face. “What am I going to do?”
Cassie slipped her hand into Eliza’s.
“If you won’t confide in me, I can’t help you decide what to do.” She bit her lip. “However, you don’t need to worry about restoring our respectability any longer.”
“Pardon?” Eliza propped herself up on her elbow. She wiped the back of her eyes so she could better see her sister. “I don’t like your expression, Cassandra Wainwright.” Her heart thumped. “Don’t you even think about going to the Lyon’s Den.”
“Me? Go to the infamous Lyon’s Den?” Cassie shook her head. “I would never.”
“Then what?”
“I’ve put into motion a far simpler plan. One that will sew everything up quite nicely.”
“What do you mean?”