11. I’m Playing to Win
11 I’M PLAYING TO WIN
Lanie
“Do you want to live with Noah?”
Fifteen minutes ago, the answer to Jade’s question would’ve been unequivocally yes. If I set my current state of fury aside, it still was. However, Noah wasn’t getting off the hook easily and not without serious groveling. Until then, he could piss off.
“Of course she does.”
“You sure about that, Henley? She looks madder than a hen.”
“Let me know when you two are done talking about me like I’m not here.”
Henley gasped, putting her hand on her chest. “She speaks.”
When I’d torn out of the house, I had no idea where I was going. The only thing I wanted was to walk away before I said something I’d regret. It was the reason I used my safe word. He’d pushed me to my limit. In all fairness, him moving me in was just the icing on my fucked-up cake .
Noah’s back deck turned out to be the perfect escape. The three of us sat in the wooden Adirondack chairs lined up along the length of the railing facing the forest. They weren’t the most comfortable things in the world, but at least the view was spectacular.
“I was thinking, smart-ass, not avoiding the question.”
“That’s what you’re doing wrong,” Henley stated matter-of-factly. “Stop thinking. Get out of your head and open your heart. Noah absolutely went about this the wrong way. We know it, and after what I saw inside—which, by the way, you have to explain—he knows it too.”
“We aren’t saying you shouldn’t make him beg for forgiveness. That man should get on his knees, if you know what I mean.” Jade waggled her eyebrows, making me snort. “But, let’s face it, you were always going to end up right here whether it was today, next month, or a year from now.”
“He asked me while we were away, then we were interrupted before I could give him my answer. I was going to say yes, for Christ’s sake. Why couldn’t he just wait a minute?”
“He’s a man, Lanie.” Henley struggled to lean forward with her pregnant belly getting in the way. “Testosterone can fuck with their common sense sometimes.”
“I’d love to be able to blame my stupidity on hormones, ladies, but I’m afraid this was all me.”
Our heads swung around at the sound of his voice. Noah stood with one leg bent at the knee, his foot against the back of the house and his hands in his pockets. He looked delicious yet dejected. I had no idea how long he’d been there or how much he’d overheard.
“Can I talk to you, Darlin’?”
“Now you wanna talk? ”
“Fair point.” He straightened, taking slow, tentative steps forward as if he was approaching a wild animal. Considering how I felt, he kinda was. “I was an ass.”
“Yup,” I agreed.
“We’re gonna give you two some privacy.” Henley swung her legs to the side of the chair, then tried twice to push up without any luck. “Can someone give me a hand? I’m stuck in this damn chair.”
“I’ve got you.” Taking both her hands, Noah eased her to a stand, then waited until both women disappeared into the house before he crouched next to my chair. He ran a finger lightly down the side of my face and said, “You used your safe word.”
“Was I not supposed to?”
“You can use it whenever you feel like you’ve reached your limit.”
“But was I wrong to use it back there?” I looked toward the house, wondering if I’d somehow screwed up. I was new to all this submissive stuff. Shit.
“No, Darlin’.” He touched his lips to mine for a heartbeat. “We make our own rules.”
Noah stood long enough to lift my legs, then draped them across his thighs when he lowered himself onto the end of the chair. His short brown hair was standing up in places, like he’d run his fingers through it over and over again. The longer we stayed silent, the more noticeable his exhaustion became. He was wiped and I doubted it had anything to do with our flight. Sleep had been difficult for me since the shooting. I just assumed—wrongly it appeared—that it was just my dreams being interrupted.
“I’m so sorry, Lanie.” Sapphire eyes collided with my hazel ones. “There’s no rhyme or reason for what I did, no logical excuse, except to say something inside me snapped when you were shot.”
Understanding dawned. The moment when I heard the rifle fire played on a never-ending loop in my mind. What if I’d moved a second too late? Dave may not have been aiming to kill, but from the way we were standing, the bullet would’ve hit Noah in the center of his chest. My restlessness at night had nothing to do with getting shot and everything to do with how close I came to losing him.
“I get it, Noah. Trust me, I get it.” My thumb traced a path underneath his lower lashes. “But you had to know I wasn’t going to roll over and let you dictate my life.”
“That wasn’t my intention. I let my own irrational fears take over. I’ll deal with them so they won’t cause any more issues. Just know, had I been thinking clearly, I never would’ve taken your choice away.”
“I have fears too, Noah. We can help each other get past them.”
“Does that mean I’m forgiven? You’ll stay?”
He looked so hopeful; however, I wasn’t giving in too easily.
“In the barn, you were trying to convince me why it wasn’t too soon to make this literal move. So, do it now.”
“Do what now?” He cocked his head to the side.
“Convince me to move in with you and maybe I’ll stay.”
He didn’t hesitate, lifting me to straddle his thighs. His hardness pressed up against my core, awakening the desire which was always close to the surface whenever he was near.
“If I recall correctly,” he licked across the seam of my lips, “this is where I left off.”
He did it again. This time though, I opened for him. Our kiss wasn’t frenzied, but it heated me on the inside. A swipe of his tongue, a twirl of mine; it was maddening how easily consumed I was by Noah. Even though the man was model gorgeous, it wasn’t just his outward appearance which attracted me to him. He was as genuine as they came. There weren’t any pretenses, no hiding of his true nature. The Noah you saw was the only one you’d get.
“Is it working?” he spoke against my mouth.
“I’m not sure. Why don’t you ask and find out.”
“Move in with me.”
“That wasn’t a question, Cowboy.” Instead of responding, he grasped my hips, moving me back and forth over his hard length. I moaned, “You aren’t playing fair, Agent Anderson.”
“Who said anything about fair? I’m playing to win, Agent Biggs.”
He was done talking and finished fucking around, apparently. Spearing his hands through my hair, he tilted my head and crashed his mouth to mine. I held on to his forearms as the kiss turned demanding and unyielding, much like the man delivering it. We were starved for each other; hungry in a way I never thought we’d be satisfied. Then a giggle and a deep throat clearing snapped us out of our lust-filled haze.
“Dinner will be here soon,” Jade announced, smothering another laugh with her hand.
Koen didn’t even try to hide his amusement. “I’m pretty sure we interrupted dinner, Angel.”
“Rude.” She backhanded him in the stomach, then pushed him back inside the house, closing the door behind them.
“How’d I do with the convincing?” Noah asked when I swung my head back around .
“I’ll need to hear a question first.”
His eyes softened around the edges.
“I renovated this cabin with one goal in mind; to share it with you. At the time, I never thought it would happen, but here we are.” He laid his forehead to mine. “Will you please move in here with me? Help me make this house our home.”
He won.
“Yes.”
“Nelson’s working on something,” Waverly informed the group.
She and Duncan had stopped by shortly after everyone else had left. They didn’t come for the welcome home dinner, rather to catch us up on the latest rumbling surrounding the Russians. According to our friends at the DEA, the Bratva was in the midst of a power struggle between warring families: the Bolotovs and the Vlaschenkos. While the former were ruthless criminals, there wasn’t much information on the latter.
“What exactly?” I questioned.
She side-eyed Duncan, then said, “We’d rather not say. Not yet, anyway. Give him time to work his magic.”
“Meanwhile,” Duncan added, “be vigilant. As far as we know, the threat remains. Noah’s house may have a top-of-the-line security system, but an alarm means jack shit when you’re in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere. I’ll take the first shift tonight. We’ll come up with a schedule tomorrow at the office.”
“First shift? What the hell are you talking about?”
“Let me be clear, Noah, this isn’t a suggestion. One of us will be staying here with you both, until I say otherwise. ”
Glaring at my superior agent probably wouldn’t win me any accolades, nevertheless, I did it anyway. Was there a sale on alpha males who thought they knew what was best for me? I’d just had it out with one such male and now it looked like I was making it a twofer. There was little to no chance I’d get him to change his stance, however, I was determined to get some say in what would happen, no matter how minor.
“You know, Duncan. Noah and I are practically newlyweds, minus the wedding of course.”
“What does that have to do with your protection detail?”
“How do I say this?” I tapped my finger against my chin. “We’re going to be having a lot of sex, Duncan.”
“Oh shit,” Waverly sputtered.
“Lanie?” Noah warned.
“This is a whole new house for me, which means there are tons of surfaces to christen.”
Nothing ever seemed to faze Duncan. He rolled with whatever punches were thrown his way without batting an eye. One day I'd get him to crack. It was now my new mission in life.
“I’ll amend my last statement to say one of us will be parked outside your house until otherwise instructed.”
“Better.”
The three glasses of champagne I’d had earlier––courtesy of Jade and Koen’s leftover wedding supply––were working their way through my system. My eyes were starting to droop and my brain was a little fuzzy around the edges. I wasn’t a lightweight by any means, except when it came to the bubbly stuff. Although, given the circumstances surrounding our return, the alcohol may not be at fault for my sudden fatigue .
“You two, get some rest.” My boss gathered her coat from the back of the chair. “Lanie, I want you in my office at nine sharp.”
“Yes, ma’am. It’ll feel good to be useful again.”
Once we walked them out, I fell back against the front door. I thought for sure my feet couldn’t carry me another step until I saw the wicked gleam in Noah’s eyes; the one that promised a different sort of celebration than what we’d had earlier. My feet quickly got on board.
“Now, Little Lamb, about those surfaces…”
“Noooo,” I whined.
I was so close––seconds from satisfaction––when he tore his mouth away from my pussy. Then the bastard had the audacity to smirk. Smirk! And it wasn’t the first time. I’d lost count of the number of times he’d brought me to the edge, only to yank me back from the brink. If he didn’t let me come soon, I might die.
“Punishment comes in a variety of forms, Lanie.” He speared me with two fingers, moving them in and out of my body at a ridiculously slow pace. “Orgasm denial can be very effective when done correctly.”
“So effective,” I moaned, “maybe the CIA should add this shit to their arsenal of torture tactics.”
“Brat.”
Dropping his head down between my thighs again, he rolled my clit between his lips and pushed his fingers deep, holding them there. Noah played my body like a stringed instrument, plucking and strumming until I was ready to combust. It was an intoxicating mix of heaven and hell. A blessed euphoria I had no hope of surviving .
“Why?” I cried out when he stopped once more.
Crawling up my body, he kissed and licked every inch of exposed skin on the way. When he took my mouth, I tasted myself on his tongue. He settled in the cradle of my hips, giving me enough of his weight that I could feel how hard he was, even through the fabric of his clothes.
“Two reasons,” he breathed against my lips. It took a second for my brain to catch up to the fact he was answering my question. “You threw yourself in front of a bullet for me.”
“Since when does saving your life constitute punishment?”
“It does when I explicitly tell you not to put yourself in danger. Do you remember rule number two?” I rolled my eyes. “And that right there is the other reason. Rolling those beautiful eyes will get you in trouble every single time. You’re still learning the ins and outs of being a submissive, so I’ve given you a little latitude. Under normal circumstances, you’d have earned a red ass.”
“I’d rather you spank me,” I muttered under my breath.
“Next time.” The ass winked, then kissed me again, rolling us to our sides on his bed. Our bed actually. He’d insisted it was the first place we christened.
Snaking a hand between us, I fumbled with the button of his pants, trying desperately to get it to slip through the little opening. Accomplishing the task one-handed was a test of my patience, but eventually my mission was successful.
“Something you want, Little Lamb?”
“Very much.”
“You want my cock?”
“Yes.” I worked his zipper down next, ready to reach inside his boxers when his words took me by surprise .
“Ask me.”
Noah
We’d gone over very basic, rudimentary rules when I told her about being a Dom. One I’d covered but hadn’t used up until this point was asking permission to touch me, which explained the deer-in-the-headlights look on her face. I wanted to introduce different aspects slowly to avoid overwhelming her with everything at once. Maybe it had been a mistake on my part. Lanie wasn’t some wilting flower who needed coddling. She was a damn FBI agent with an attitude to match. I guess we were about to find out if she was ready.
“You need to ask for permission before you touch me, unless I’ve already given it to you.”
“Okay then.” She let go of the slider on my zipper and licked her delectable lips, giving me all sorts of ideas. Damn little tease. “Can I please have your cock?”
Slow took a flying leap out the window when she said those words. No question. No hesitation. My girl didn’t want cautious, she wanted this…the real me. There was nothing but acceptance and love shining in her eyes. It meant more to me than I’d ever be able to express, but I’d sure as hell spend the rest of my days trying.
“Good girl.” Snagging a pillow, I tossed it on the floor at the side of the bed. “On your knees, Little Lamb.”
While she got into position, I stood, keeping my back to her as I stripped off my clothes. Her breathing accelerated when I turned, her half-lidded gaze focused between my thighs where I was stroking myself from root to tip. Slowly, I moved forward until there were only inches separating us .
She squirmed, pressing her legs together. “Does it make you wet thinking about sucking my cock?”
“You have no idea,” she heaved.
“Oh, I do.” I gave my dick another firm tug. “I’ve jerked off more times than I can count imagining it’s your mouth I’m fucking instead of my fist. Would you like that, Lanie?”
She nodded.
“Words.”
“Hell yes.”
“Put your hand on my thigh. Tap twice if it becomes too much.” She immediately complied. “Your other hand goes between your legs. Rub your clit, but do not come. Defy me and you’ll get that spanking you’d hoped for. Are we clear?”
“Clear.”
“Good. Now, open.” I slid the tip between her lips. “Suck.”
The feeling was indescribable, the pleasure so intense it threatened to bring me to my knees. I couldn’t think, let alone breathe. It was almost too much to take. Almost.
“Wider.” Gathering her hair into a ponytail, I fed her one inch, then another. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever witnessed. So sexy I had to grit my teeth to curb the desire to flex my hips and bury myself down her throat.
“You’re doing so well. Can you take more?”
She looked up at me and smiled around my dick. Then without warning, my naughty girl slid down my shaft, almost to the base.
“Fuucckk.” Her eyes watered as I pushed her a little farther and held the position for a moment. The vibrations from her moan, along with the way her tongue rubbed along the underside of my cock before she swallowed, had me seeing stars. I swore if she did it again, I’d blow before I got inside of her .
Wrapping her hair around my hand, I used it to hold her in place as I began slow, shallow thrusts of my hips. After a few glides, I tilted her head back slightly and did exactly what I’d dreamed of for the past few years.
“Relax your throat and breathe through your nose.”
I fucked her mouth.
Her hand gripped my thigh, never tapping out, while the other moved furiously between her legs. Our eyes stayed open, completely focused on each other. When her eyelids began to flutter, I knew she was getting awfully close to disobeying me. As much as I wouldn’t mind doling out a second punishment, I wanted her pussy more, and my bed was the perfect height for what I had in mind.
Withdrawing from her mouth completely, I ordered, “Bend over the bed, cheek to the mattress, arms behind your back.”
Snagging her panties off the floor, I stood behind her, nudging her legs apart with my feet the same way we did during an arrest. The irony was not lost on me, especially considering my next move. Taking her wrists, I crossed them over the lower part of her back, then used her lacy garment to tie them together.
After checking to make sure it wasn’t too tight, I asked, “You good?”
“Never better,” she answered, then gasped as I slammed inside her pussy.
A slow drag of my out followed by a hard snap of my hips into nirvana. My rhythm never faltered, even when she begged me to go faster and harder. It was my pace to set. I was in control, until control was the last thing on my mind. An intense orgasm ripped through her, triggering mine and sending us both careening down a path of pleasure.
“You’re here.” Sammy darted from her desk as we strolled through the doors of our office the next morning, knocking Lanie off-kilter with the force of her hug.
“Easy, babe. She was shot, remember?” Nelson joined us, reaching out to shake my hand. “Noah. Good to have you back.”
“Crap. I’m so sorry, Lanie.” She quickly dropped her arms. “Did I hurt you?”
Lanie shook her head. “It was a graze. I’m good.”
Clasping her hand tight, I steered us toward the row of desks in the far corner of the room. We’d only been gone for a few weeks, yet the place seemed different. No. We were different.
“You want coffee?” I asked, pulling out her chair.
“Is that a real question? Cream, two sugars, please.”
“I know how you take your coffee, Darlin’.”
“Then hop to it, Cowboy.” She winked, then turned to pick up a pile of file folders off her desk.
“Oh-my-freaking-God, Nelson. They’re so cute.”
Sammy’s squeal of delight had my lips tipping up at the corners as I popped the K-cup in the Keurig. Glancing over my shoulder, I mouthed, “Cute?” to Lanie, who rolled her eyes in response. A minute and a half later, I set her favorite mug in front of her, brushing a quick kiss behind her ear while whispering, “That’s one, Agent Biggs.”
“We’re gonna need to revisit rule number six,” she smarted. “Otherwise, you’ll spend more time nursing a sore hand than you will fighting crime.”
“I think I’ll manage.”
Taking my cup of joe to the workspace I shared with Keaton, which was caddy-corner to hers, I began to sort through my very own mess of missed call messages and unfinished reports. Everything had its place on my desk, from the filing rack to the stapler, whereas Lanie’s––in my opinion––looked more like organized chaos. For instance, she was right handed, yet her pen holder sat in the left corner. None of it made any logistical sense to me and I guess it wasn’t supposed to. It was like our relationship. She and I worked so well together because we weren’t a cookie-cutter match. Her warm curves fit my sharp edges brilliantly.
Keaton and Koen arrived at the same time a few minutes later. Typically, they rode together when Henley and Jade had a shift at Over Easy. It still amazed me how their chance meeting led to the rapid growth spurt of our little family, which included Jade's younger brother, Jett. That kid was a damn genius. His big brain got him in a heap of trouble, but he was working with Nelson now, honing his craft.
“Quiet night?” Koen asked, sitting across from Lanie. Her cheeks flushed cherry-red, probably recalling how not quiet it was after round two in the middle of the night when she screamed my name. He noticed it too. “For fuck’s sake, it was an innocent question. I don’t even want to know the answer anymore.”
“Any ideas why Waverly wanted to meet with me?” She changed the subject, avoiding further ridicule.
Leaving the way we had meant returning to a lot of unfinished business. My best guess was she wanted to discuss the undercover case Lanie worked with the DEA. The case was cold, nearly six months without any movement or word about the missing cases of C-4. I’m sure our counterparts were getting antsy for answers .
“Looks like you’re about to find out.” Keaton nodded toward the hallway.
“Agent Biggs.” Our RAC looked at her watch. “It’s nine-oh-one.”
Lanie’s chair scraped against the floor as she stood. “What is it with her and time?”
“Nine-oh-two.”
“Shit.”