15. Lumi
Chapter 15
Lumi
M y jaw slackens as I process his words. Ambrose killed Baelor—just like that.
Suddenly, it hits me—I know very little about Ambrose, my mate. He’s the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with if I learn how to shift and complete the marking, but I don’t know him. I’m not in love with him, and he sure as hell isn’t in love with me.
Everything we feel toward each other is because of a supernatural bond, part of how our species is fighting for survival. It’s beyond either of us. This bond is predestined, something we have no control over.
The mating bond doesn’t guarantee love. It doesn’t guarantee that we will even like each other. All it does is guarantee a physical match—one that will produce strong offspring.
I thought when I found my mate, he would be easy to love; maybe it would even be love at first sight. Instead, Ambrose is a killer. He killed another alpha, and from the look of Ambrose, it took very little effort. He killed Baelor rather than risk him threatening us. I don’t know if that’s supposed to be romantic or terrifying.
And he’ll kill me, too, if he finds out the truth. He’s already doubting me. He thinks I’m not worthy of being his mate if I can’t even shift. I’m a weakling, clearly not strong enough to be an alpha’s mate. The alpha’s mate is supposed to be his equal in every way and strong enough to carry his heirs.
If he finds out I’m from the Wintermoon pack, I’ll be dead. He won’t have a choice but to kill me. I may not know Ambrose very well, but he won’t accept mating with someone he views as a traitor. And my pack is just that to the rest of the packs.
I need to talk to Kael. We need a plan to keep our pack identity a secret.
And... fuck …I need to talk to Nyx. He knows the truth. He could destroy me. Why hasn’t he already outed me?
Anxiety pumps through my body, filling every inch of me as I look up to find Ambrose gone. I need to talk to him. I don’t know what I’m going to say or what I’m going to do, but I have to do something. I didn’t come all this way just to die. I’m stronger than Ambrose, or anyone else, thinks I am.
Instinctually, I head down the hallway and stop outside a closed door that I know Ambrose entered, most likely his bedroom. My wolf instincts may be pathetic compared to his, but at least I can sense where my mate has gone.
I stare at the door, unsure of how to handle this. I need to talk to him. We weren’t finished with our conversation, and I need to arrange a time to speak with Kael at the very least. Maybe he can help with my Nyx problem.
I reach for the door handle without fear but find it locked.
“Ambrose, we aren’t done talking.”
I wait a few seconds, hoping that he’ll respond or, better yet, open the door and finish the conversation we barely started. But he doesn’t. I press my ear against the door and hear the faint sound of the shower running.
He’s not responding because he can’t hear me.
No, that’s a lie. He has supernatural wolf hearing. He can hear me. He could respond if he wanted to, but he’s not.
I start to talk to him in my head, but nothing comes out. I can’t speak through the bond we formed. I realize it’s the first time I’ve tried when we weren’t in the same room. Does it work through doors, through walls? How far away can I speak to him in my head?
I close my eyes, concentrating on Ambrose. He’s in the shower. Water rolls down his ripped muscles and turns red as it washes away Baelor’s blood. Drips fall down his body over his long, thick cock that swells larger…
I shake my head, opening my eyes, realizing that I can’t focus enough to send him a message that way. I have no choice but to sit outside his bedroom until he opens the door.
“You’re going to be waiting a long time,” Emeric says.
I fold my arms as I sit cross-legged outside his door.
“I don’t care. I need to talk to him.”
Emeric leans against the wall with a glowing smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes. “You’re both stubborn. I can see why you’re mates.”
“Well, Ambrose doesn’t. He thinks I’m a weak, pathetic girl who can’t even shift. He thinks he might as well kill me in hopes of finding a new, better mate.”
Emeric chuckles.
“I don’t find anything I said funny.”
“No, but I do. Trust me—the last thing Ambrose thinks of you is that you’re weak.”
“He told me I’m weak to my face.”
Emeric shrugs like he’s been told the same thing by Ambrose a time or two. “What are you going to do about it?”
I look down at where I’m sitting. “I thought it was obvious. I’m sitting here until Ambrose opens the door and talks to me.”
“And when he does, what are you going to tell him? That you aren’t weak?”
I frown.
“Sorry to tell you, but yes, I heard every word of your conversation. Wolf hearing and all that. The only reason those outside of the house can’t hear is because Ambrose has had this house’s walls reinforced to the point that no shifter could invade his privacy.”
“No one but you.”
Emeric’s smile broadens. It’s an infectious smile—genuine, warm, and kind.
“What did you do to become his beta?”
Emeric chuckles. “You haven’t earned that story yet.”
I turn my head toward the door.
“Come on, why don’t we spend an hour or two training while Ambrose sulks in his bedroom? That way, when he decides he’s ready to talk to you, you’ll have a few new muscles growing on you and skills to back up that mouth of yours.”
I narrow my eyes at Emeric. “I still don’t trust you.”
He shrugs. “Maybe I don’t care if you trust me or not.”
“But you do—because if this works, one day I’m going to be your alpha’s mate. And I would have the power to get rid of you as beta. You’ll only stay if I trust you.”
He smirks. “Good thing that you trust me then.”
“I don’t trust you.”
“Except you do. You pretend you don’t because I tricked you into that cave at the offering. When really, you were planning on entering the offering all along. No one had to force you.”
He’s right. I do trust him. Probably more than I should. But he did save my life. And I was planning on finding my mate. Even once the risks of the offering were explained to me, I still would have chosen to go through with it.
“I’m not the only one who saw your truth. Ambrose sensed how brave you truly were. And when he told you that he killed Baelor, he could hear your heart beating the same as I could.”
I swallow hard. “He heard it sputter in fear?”
Emeric’s eyes darken as he speaks in a serious tone. “No, he heard it continue to beat slow and steady, just like I did. He may have said you are weak physically, and that’s true. But you aren’t weak where it matters most. I can whip you into physical shape in no time, but teaching you how to be stubborn, brave, and fearless—I don’t have to teach you that.”
I smile. “Are you always this charming?”
He flashes me a smile back. “Always.”
I stand up. “Fine, then whip me into shape.”
He nods.
I stare at the door for another second, trying to will a message to Ambrose. But it’s like I’ve forgotten how to speak. Nothing works.
I frown. “Does the mental bond we share only work when we are in the same room? Or is that something I have to practice and get better at the same as physical training?”
Emeric stares at the door and then at me. “It’s been a long time since anyone had a connection that allowed them to speak mind to mind. I don’t know exactly what it means to be mates or even how it truly works. But I remember stories from my parents having mental conversations with each other from miles away.”
My frown deepens as I try once again.
“But I’d guess if you can’t get through to Ambrose, it’s because he doesn’t want you to. His powers are immense as an alpha. He could easily be shielding you from talking to him.”
“Gods, he isn’t going to make it easy for me to love him, is he?”
Emeric chuckles. “No, but would you ever love a man who made it too easy for you?”
I don’t answer him as I pull my long silvery-white hair into a ponytail on top of my head and follow Emeric out the back door to train.