35. Lumi
Chapter 35
Lumi
“ W hat?” I ask, staring at Ambrose in disbelief. My head is still clouded and fuzzy. My heart is still beating so fast and loudly that I’m sure it’s the only thing anyone can hear.
Ambrose smiles at me softly, as if he knows the hell I just went through and he’s sorry.
“That was the Moonlight pack initiation,” he says.
I blink, trying to process the words leaving his mouth. I must still be dreaming. I must still be held captive while one of the pack members fucks me, and this is how I’m coping with it—inventing this fantasy.
Ambrose’s smile turns to concern as he watches my reaction. “You passed. It was just a test to see if you are worthy of being part of the Moonlight pack.”
“It was all a test? Initiation?” I say the words back like they are a foreign language.
He tucks me under his shoulder, pulling me tight to his body as the rest of the pack hoops and hollers in celebration. But my brain still can’t process what happened or why.
The male pack members that seemed under a spell before are smiling at me like I’m their sister, not like they just tried to fuck me. None of them are clothed, though, and some have shifted into their wolf forms as they jog and dance around us, howling into the night sky.
“It was all just an act? They were never spelled?” I ask.
“No, Isolde spelled everyone. The initiation has to be real,” Ambrose replies.
“So if I hadn’t broken free of her spell…” I can’t say the next words out loud, so I use our bond instead. “They would have all taken turns fucking me. And then what?”
“Yes, and you wouldn’t be able to join the Moonlight pack. At least, not until you proved yourself worthy in a different way.”
I chew on my bottom lip, realizing how close I was to that happening. “And you wouldn’t have accepted me as your mate…”
Ambrose halts, lifting my chin to stare into my watering eyes. “You will always be my mate. Nothing you do will ever change that. But I had complete faith in you that you would be able to break through Isolde’s spell.”
“How? How did you know I could? What if I wasn’t strong enough?”
He smiles sweetly, his glowing eyes softening once again. “Because you’re my queen. My mate. You’re mine in every way. My equal. I knew you’d be strong enough. I knew you’d break free of her spell. I was never worried.”
I shiver and wrap my arms around myself, still very aware of how naked I am.
“Emeric,” Ambrose shouts.
I look over my shoulder to see Emeric jogging up, his large, bright smile on his face.“Here you go.” He hands Ambrose my clothes. Ambrose takes my leather jacket from him and wraps it around my shoulders, which I expect is supposed to help with my chill, but it does little to cover my nakedness.
Emeric looks at me but avoids looking anywhere but my eyes. “I’m sorry. I really—”
“I’m sorry, too,” I sputter out, partly because I am truly sorry and partly because I can’t stand to hear him apologize. I can barely process what happened. I can’t cope with the words I should use to describe what almost happened to me, to all of us. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to heal from what could have happened.
He frowns. “What do you have to be sorry for?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t break free of the spell faster to avoid putting us all through that.”
“I’ve never seen someone break free of a spell so quickly.”
My eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean?”
“It’s how our initiation works. It always involves a witch casting a spell and having to break free of it. The spell Isolde cast was stronger than any I’ve ever felt before.” Emeric pauses, looking at me in awe. “You’re incredible.”
I shake my head. “I’m not.”
Emeric sighs but turns his attention to Ambrose. “You okay?”
Ambrose nods, his throat bobbing.
I look from Ambrose to Emeric and then back to Emeric before remembering that Emeric feels Ambrose’s pain. “What did Isolde do to you?”
Emeric starts to open his mouth to speak, but Ambrose silences him with one look.
“I’m going to kill Isolde,” I say.
Ambrose smiles at me gently. “As much as I’d love to see that, we need to finish the initiation.”
My eyes widen in fear.
He leans down and kisses my jawline softly. “No more tests. Just magic to officially make you part of the Moonlight pack.”
I relax into his side as he wraps his arms around me. “I don’t like her.”
“She’s harmless. Her coven has been working with the Moonlight pack for decades. She plays her part well. We are all trained to hate the witches, but Isolde and her coven are set on helping to break the curse. They are on our side.”
He kisses my hair and any ill will I feel toward her melts away. I feel so safe in his arms, so loved.
My heart flutters at that thought. Is this love? Are we falling in love?
Those thoughts immediately disappear when I see Isolde approaching us. The others begin circling around us, and despite Ambrose’s arms and reassurance that there are no more tests, the fear flutters back into my chest.
Isolde and I stare each other down, much in the same way we did when she had cast a spell over me.
“I wasn’t sure if you were strong enough. I’m glad to be proven wrong,” Isolde says to me.
I growl. “Don’t ever hurt my pack again. Not even for some test.”
Isolde raises her eyebrows and smirks as she looks from me to Ambrose. “You found yourself a feisty one. You still sure about her?”
I move to pummel her, but Ambrose holds me tight in his arms, as cool and calm as ever. “More than sure.”
Isolde addresses the circle of Moonlight pack members. “Do you find Lumi worthy of joining the Moonlight pack?”
An overwhelming sound of yeses and howling fills the air. And when I look into each of their eyes I see the joy, the hope. They all have hope that I’ll be the one to lift the curse.
I will be. I know it.
Isolde just nods, then turns to Ambrose. “And do you, Ambrose, as alpha of the Moonlight pack, accept Lumi into the pack?”
“Yes, she’s always been a Moonlight pack member.”
And then Isolde turns to me. “Do you, Lumi, wish to join the Moonlight pack?”
I raise an eyebrow as if I’d go through all of that if I didn’t wish to join.
“Yes.”
Isolde holds out her hands. And just like earlier, I can see and feel the magic she is spinning. I don’t know whether I want to hide behind Ambrose or attack her and rip her throat out.
“It’s okay. She’s just making you part of the Moonlight pack. She won’t hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you,” Ambrose says through our bond.
I nod and take a step away from Ambrose, knowing that even though we aren’t touching, he’s with me.
Isolde smirks at me in her vicious way a second before the blast hits me. I’m not sure what to expect, but it’s nothing like the last time. This time, I feel the intensity, but it’s like a warm, gentle river flowing through me, slowly finding every vein, nerve, and muscle in my body. The energy is moonlight. It’s bright and welcoming.
I smile at the feeling. When I open my eyes and see the entire Moonlight pack smiling at me, my own smile gets brighter.
Rowena and Emeric are the first to run up and congratulate me.
“I’m sorry,” Rowena whispers to me with tears in her eyes.
I shake my head. She prepared me as best as she could. I don’t know where she appeared from, but I’m glad she’s here.
Emeric lifts me up on his shoulders before I protest. I barely grip his hair as he starts running, and before I realize what’s happening, he’s shifted into his wolf form, and I’m riding on his back next to the entire Moonlight pack.
I’ve never felt this free or this sense of belonging, even within my own family. A tear rolls down my cheek, though, thinking of my family, of my pack—or former pack.
They are truly all gone. If they weren’t, then this initiation might not have worked. My father is dead.
Another tear falls as I think about all I’ve lost tonight. My father, my family, my pack, and I almost lost…
I shake my head, refusing to think of myself as a victim. I refuse to think of what could have happened and just exist in the hope of my new pack.
Ambrose’s large wolf form, practically glowing as bright as the moonlight, jogs up next to us. He tilts his head, motioning for me to jump from Emeric’s back to his.
I should be embarrassed that I have to ride on their backs, that I can’t shift like everyone else here can. But tonight, I’m not. Tonight, I proved myself. I’ll worry about the lack of shifting tomorrow.
So when I climb onto Ambrose’s back, I do it proudly. A tiny thrill shoots through me when Ambrose starts running in the opposite direction of the pack.
“I want you to myself tonight.”