Chapter 10
AN IMPOSSIBLE TASK
“Hey, Maxie,” Mason says, his voice bright and chipper through the phone. “Let me get somewhere quiet.”
“Hope I didn’t disturb you. I know you’re extremely popular.”
“Haha. No, just me and some of the officers’ kids hanging in the den.” The taste of spiked hot chocolate springs to life on my tongue, making me salivate. “So unless you want them all to hear our conversation . . .”
“That’s fine,” I say, always here for our banter. “Take your time.”
I settle into the pillows on Jasper’s bed. He’s gone to meet with the council again, to discuss the possibility of sending out trackers to find Olivia and Mia. While he’s busy, I wanted to hear for myself where we stood with the Rocky Pack, and I knew just the wolf to get me the inside scoop.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Mason asks.
I sigh to myself, knowing the rest of this call isn’t going to be the lighthearted patter we’re used to. “Have you heard what’s been going on here?”
“Oh crap, yeah, well I mean, not a lot. But my dad did say there was an attack and your alpha is injured.”
If that’s what Mason’s father, the beta of the Rocky Pack, told him, they can’t be taking our tragedy very seriously. Or maybe he’s just trying to protect Mason from learning all the gruesome details. Either way, Mason needs to know the severity of our situation if he’s going to be able to assist.
“Not just injured,” I say. “I don’t know if your pack wants to keep this a secret or what but—Jericho is in a coma. The attack took him off the board, and we know who was behind it and what they’re planning next.”
Mason swallows audibly. “You mean the attack wasn’t the extent of it?”
“Nope, not by a long shot. You remember Clayton, right?”
“That dick who tried to turn you into sashimi?”
“Exactly. His dad, who—well, let’s just say the tree doesn’t fall far from the apple—he’s defected from the pack and is amassing power in order to invade our territory and decimate us.”
“That’s—serious.”
“Yeah. And I doubt he’ll stop once he conquers the Elite Pack either.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning he wants to rule over the biggest pack in history and it’s only a matter of time until he comes for the Rocky Pack as well. That is, unless Morven decides to bend a knee.”
For a second, Mason is quiet, and I hear a scratching sound, like he’s clutching at his hair.
“He wouldn’t do that,” Mason says, not with the confidence I’d hoped for.
“I really hope not. In fact, I was hoping he might see some sense and join forces with us against Walter.”
Mason scoffs. “Fat chance. Morven’s only concern right now is finding Mia. He blames your pack for her going missing.”
Hunch confirmed. My feet are getting cold, so I dig them into Jasper’s comforter, enjoying the way his scent lingers on his pillows.
“That’s what we thought.”
Anxious, because I’m scared to ask the question I need to, I rub the palm of my free hand on my knee until it hurts.
“Mason,” I say, trying to convey how serious the situation is with my tone. “I think the only way we’re going to survive this is if we find Mia and Olivia, if we can reconcile things between our packs and fight Walter together.”
“I hear you.”
“So I need to ask—you’re Mia’s best friend, do you have any idea where she might be?”
Mason exhales long and hard and it’s difficult to tell if he’s thinking things over, deciding whether or not to give in and tell me what I want to know, or if he’s just disappointed because he can’t do more to help.
Finally, he says, “I wish I knew. Seriously, Max, you know I’d help you if I could. But the last I heard from Mia, she and Olivia were on the road.”
“So you have heard from her?”
“Not for, ooh, six months? They were moving around, changing locations. There’s no way to tell where they’d be now.”
“Can you still get in contact? Call her?”
“I’ve tried a few times, but she doesn’t reply to texts and her cell started sending me straight to voicemail about two months ago.”
“Right, okay.”
“You have the ability to sense all of wolfkind, don’t you?” he asks, reminding me of my blood-wolf powers. “Why don’t you just, you know, do your thing and find them?”
It’s the million-dollar question, one I’ve been praying no one would ask.
“I guess, I’m still figuring out the best uses for my powers.
People want me to use them to help fight this oncoming war, or to bolster the spirits of the pack, but I don’t know that that’s what I’m supposed to be doing with my powers.
I don’t know if I’m supposed to use them to spy on people or find people who don’t want to be found.
It’s a big responsibility and I don’t want to abuse it.
I want to make sure I’m using my abilities in the best way that’s helpful, but doesn’t .
. .” I trail off, unsure where I was going with that thought.
“Doesn’t make people uncomfortable?” Mason helps.
“Maybe.”
“You can’t help how other people are going to feel,” he says, and he’s not wrong, but I’m still not sure what role I’m supposed to play in the future.
As the luna I’m supposed to help my pack, but as the blood wolf I have a duty to all of wolfkind, and something feels weird about those two threads crossing.
“Wait,” Mason continues without me having responded. “If your alpha is in a coma, who’s driving the bus?”
“The next in line,” I say, deadpan.
“Oh my moon gods,” Mason says. “Jasper the Stoic is leading the pack?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Whoo-eee, I feel for him. And you.”
“Thanks.” I manage a small chuckle. “Your support means everything to us.”
Mason turns earnest once more. “Seriously, if you need anything let me know, and if I hear anything that could be helpful, I’ll keep you informed.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it.”
“And Max—you’ll figure out the right thing to do, I know you will.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”
“Only a little.”
My call with Mason wasn’t super helpful, but at least it confirmed what we suspected.
We’re on our own unless we can get Morven back onside.
And I hate to admit it but that means we need Mia.
Even though I respect her and Olivia’s decision to strike out on their own, lives are in danger.
I know neither of them would want anyone to get hurt when they could have done something to stop it.
I tell Jasper all of this when he’s done in his meeting. We sit at the long, onyx counter in his kitchen, picking at spaghetti and vegan meatballs, but neither eating much.
“We’re sending our top trackers out to find Olivia,” he says, continually spinning noodles onto his fork but never lifting it to his mouth.
“She won’t come just because you tell her to.”
“I know.” His shoulders are slumped forward.
In all the crisis meetings he must be putting up a brave front, trying to appear strong, which sounds incredibly tiring.
It gives me a sense of privilege to know that I get to see this side of him, the exhausted side, the side that’s not quite coping, a side no one else gets to see.
“But we have to try. I’m sending Salazar with them. ”
“Is that a good idea?” Sending out his second-in-command when we’re in a vulnerable position is a risky move.
“He’s been out there looking for Olivia already.
Says he’s found traces of them, even thought he’d caught their trail on a couple of occasions.
He has the best idea of where they might have been and where they could be heading.
Besides, he’ll be able to sense his daughter better than our best trackers. ”
Jasper stares at his meal, the fork stilling in his fingers.
What he doesn’t need right now is me picking apart his plans or second-guessing him, he’s doing that enough for himself.
I place a hand on his knee, leaning forward so that I can feel his warmth near me, and hopefully he can feel mine. “You’re doing the right thing.”
He bites at his lip. “I hope so.”
He stares at me for a minute like he wants to ask me something.
Like there’s some question on the tip of his tongue, and I have a feeling I know what it is, even without hearing his thoughts.
But we’ve talked about how I want to use my powers before, when Jasper asked me to use them to spy on the alphas of other packs.
And thankfully, he doesn’t ask, instead he looks back at the bowl of food in front of him, pushing it across the counter.
“I don’t know why I thought I could stomach anything right now,” he says.
“You should eat,” I say. “You need your strength.”
As I leave Jasper’s that evening, knowing he’ll be in meetings late into the night, and also knowing I can’t ignore the other things going on in my life forever, I can’t help wondering if I’m doing the right thing.
Mom seems to think I should use my blood-wolf powers to help give people hope, to calm their fears, but what use is there in doing that if it’s a lie. What if there is no hope? What if we’re right to be afraid?
And I know Jasper would probably love if I used my powers to find Mia and Olivia, and I’m tempted, especially knowing they’re our best chance at reconciling with the Rocky Pack, but even though I’ve used my powers when necessary in the past, something still doesn’t feel right about using the gifts given to me by the moon gods to spy on people, or to intervene in matters of war and politics.
There has to be a better reason I’ve been given these abilities, some greater purpose that I’ve yet to figure out, and until I do, I need to be careful.
“Thought you’d show up sooner or later,” Aisha says, holding the door to her apartment open for me. I came here straight from Jasper’s, knowing I needed to check in after their spat earlier. “You know you don’t need to clean up his messes? He can afford to pay people to do that.”
Despite her sarcastic tone, she gives me a tired smile and steps back to let me in.
“I didn’t come to make any excuses,” I say. “I just wanted to see how you are.”
Since the last time I was here, Aisha has totally upgraded her interior decor. There are multiple new plants near the windows, new art on the walls, new pillows, and a pair of vintage leather armchairs that are giving mid-century vibes. “The place looks amazing.”
“Thanks,” she says, “I’ve had time to work on it.”
“What’s up, my man?” Troy says from where he’s stirring the contents of a wok in the kitchen.
“Hey Troy, smells good. What are you cooking?”
“Pad thai, it’s gonna be mega.”
“Have a seat.” Aisha gestures to the sofa. “You want a seltzer?” Without waiting for a response, she moves to the fridge and pulls out two cans of La Croix, tossing one in my direction. “So,” she continues, flopping next to me, “Jasper’s obviously in crisis. How is he holding up, really?”
I shrug. “You saw for yourself. He’s—I’m worried.”
Aisha has one foot curled under herself and one knee pulled up to her chest, she nudges me with her socked foot.
“He’ll be okay. He’s surrounded by very smart, very tough wolves. And he has you.”
“I hope so.” Without opening it, I run my finger around the rim of my can. “He shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”
Aisha opens her can and sips. “Don’t sweat it, dude. I know he didn’t mean to kick off, and I shouldn’t have let myself get all hot and bothered either. Jasper and me, we’ll be fine.”
I nod, pleased. “Good, I’m glad.” With a click and a hiss, I open my can and drink. “I feel sort of bad too, I haven’t been around much lately.”
“It’s cool. You’re about to graduate high school, you’re getting ready for college, you’re in love. You’re a busy man.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want that to stop us from hanging out.”
Aisha looks sideways, sort of sheepishly, toying with the tab on her can.
“What?”
“Hey, look, I made a choice when I stopped attending pack events. I knew what I was doing. And you can’t help that you’re the luna in training. You have responsibilities to the pack now. Those two things don’t really mesh.”
“But still—”
“And,” she continues, cutting me off, “I’ve sort of been nervous about seeing you.”
I pull my head back, shocked. “Me? Why?”
She glances back at Troy, who gives her a reassuring nod.
“We have news.” My heart accelerates tenfold. “Troy and I are thinking of—no, not thinking—we’re planning to move. Out of the city.”
I’m pretty sure my speeding heart stops beating, and my stomach falls out of my ass.
“You’re moving? Like away away?”
“Rent is insane, and my dance company has a touring branch and we just thought, now that I’m not tied to the pack, why not? Change is as good as a holiday or whatever they say.”
She sounds like she’s not wholly convinced, but sort of determined, like even though leaving is bitter, it’s also sweet.
“Would that mean you—you’d leave the pack for real?”
“It would.” She speaks slowly, considering each syllable.
“And you’d be happy being”—I gulp down a glob of saliva, not believing what I’m about to say—“a rogue?”
Aisha shuffles in her seat, readjusting her legs under her, trying to get comfortable.
“You of all people should know being rogue doesn’t mean anything.
At least, it doesn’t mean you’re not still a cool, complete person.
It just means . . .” Again, she shrugs, like she’s trying to come to terms with everything she’s saying just like I am.
“It just means you’re on your own. That’s not such a bad thing. ”
For a moment I stare at her not knowing what to say. Part of me wants to respect her choices and part of me wants to scream at her: Are you freaking crazy? Why would you want to leave when I’m here? Don’t go! But I don’t speak any of that into existence.
Shyly, she looks up, like she’s scared to see whatever expression is on my face, so I do my best to look happy for her.
“I’ll miss you,” I say, sounding like a cartoon mouse.
Tears spring to life in her big, brown eyes. “Miss you too, kid.”
She presses her lips together as a single tear falls down her cheek.
For the next hour we don’t talk about anything too deep, we eat delicious pad thai and watch some stupid reality show, and before I know it it’s time to leave.
“You’re not going like tomorrow or anything right?” I ask at the door.
She smiles. “No. When we decide on dates and all that you’ll be the first to know.”
“Okay.”
We hug tightly and I never want to let go. I couldn’t imagine being friends with Aisha just a couple of years ago and now I can’t imagine what my life will be like without her. Even though it might be what’s best for her, I hate that this is happening.
“Take care, Max,” Aisha says as we break apart and I move through the door. “And tell that asshat mate of yours that I love him and I’m going to keep calling even if he doesn’t answer.”
“I will.”
As I turn to go, a wave of nausea passes through me, and I lose my balance. Stumbling sideways, I have to catch myself from falling, propping myself up against the wall.
“Max? What’s wrong?” Aisha is in the hall with me, helping me stand. “What’s happening?”
The world is blurring and spinning. I feel drunk and high at the same time. I try to take a step but stumble again.
And then a piercing howl enters my brain and my vision turns white.