Chapter 15 #2
It’s a good question, one I’ve not had much time to think about.
“If things go well, maybe only a couple of weeks. If they don’t . . .”
“You are coming back?” She side-eyes me, and while I know she’s joking, I also wonder if part of her gets the sense that some imperceptible but important shift is occurring.
“I’m coming back,” I say, fighting the quiver in my voice.
She glances over her shoulder, then leans a little closer. “And what about college? Have you spoken to Jasper yet?”
I look back as well, to double-check we don’t have an audience. “No, I haven’t, and right now, I just don’t think I can. He’s so worried about losing people and I can’t be a distraction for him, not while the fate of the pack hangs in the balance.”
We reach the car and turn to face each other.
“You know Todd and Simon and I are all going to school in different states?”
“Yeah, so?”
“So it was scary at first but we talked about it and now we’re fine. We know what we mean to each other, and we know we’ll never not be in each other’s lives. We know that distance doesn’t mean an ending.”
With a sigh I lean against the car, the window cool against my shoulder. “Maybe. I’m just not sure Jasp would see it that way at the moment.”
“He’s going to find out sometime.”
Man, she’s really pushing me tonight. Must be because she knows we don’t have a lot of time before it’s see you later. “I’ll tell him once I’ve sorted things out with the rogues, I promise.”
She bites her lip and swings her shoulders back and forth. “I didn’t mean to be bossy. I just know you and Jasper are strong enough to get through just about anything. You pretty much have already.”
“Yeah,” I huff. “Thanks.”
“Be safe out there, okay?” she says, and her expression darkens.
It’s been easy enough to pretend like I’m not going anywhere, that we aren’t in danger, while we’ve been in the protective embrace of the Pancake Factory, but now that the night is ending, the impending danger is turning the mass in my stomach.
“I promise.”
“Best-friend hug for the road?” she asks, and I don’t wait to respond. I grab her up and squeeze her tight.
As I let her go and move away from the car, I turn around once more to say, “Hey, happy graduation. We made it!”
“Yeah, we did.”
Katie jumps into her car, and I nod at Todd and Simon as they walk past on their way to join her.
My parents are still talking to Tanya by their car and Jasper has just said goodbye to Aisha and Troy, who drive by with the window down.
“Happy graduation, dude,” Aisha calls from the moving vehicle. “And thanks, for doing what you do.”
“Of course.”
“If anyone is going to reconcile rogues and pack wolves, it’s you, dude. Good luck, be safe.”
I give her a two-fingered salute as they cruise out of the parking lot. Once my folks and Tanya have made their way as well, it’s just me and Jasper left.
“Come on, I’ll take you home,” he says.
We jump in his car and cruise back to my place. Jasper turns the car into the drive and parks, and a small smile plays on my lips.
“What is it?” he asks, catching me grinning.
“It’s just, I remember when you parked on the curb.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, it was like you were afraid to come in.”
He nods, taps his fingers on the steering wheel. “I was.”
I turn to him completely, reaching out for his hand. “Will you come in tonight?” I ask, suddenly scared that I’m making a mistake, taking too big of a risk. Suddenly desperate for Jasper to hold me like he’ll never let go.
His eyes travel up and down my face, seeing the fear there. “Whatever you need.”
My parents are in their room as we slip down the hall and into mine.
Jasper and I have hung out here lots of times, but he’s never stayed over.
A combination of not wanting to share a bed this close to my parents’ room and us not being in the same location has made it hard to steal a private moment here.
But tonight we get into bed together, our arms wrapping around each other, our legs tangling together like roots.
“You won’t be gone that long,” Jasper says, stroking my hair behind my ear. I haven’t said anything to prompt this comment, but even without using the mind-link it’s like he knows what I’m thinking.
“I don’t know,” I say, leaning into his touch. “Somehow this feels different than when we’ve said goodbye before. It feels bigger.”
He steadies his hand on the side of my head. “I’ll always be with you, in here.”
Then he kisses me gently, and a single tear rolls from the corner of my eye, soaking into the pillow.
All night we stay wound up tightly, our faces close enough to feel each other’s breath, and while I know I should rest, I find it hard to sleep.
In a beam of moonlight stealing through the gap in my curtains, I watch Jasper as he sleeps.
He always looks so young when he’s asleep, all the stoic-ness, the adult seriousness he carries in his face melts away and he looks at peace.
I hope one day soon, he can find this peace while he’s awake.
Eventually, the sun rises, and I know it’s time to go.
Jasper watches me from the edge of my bed as I pack my bags, and hand in hand, we head downstairs.
Mom and Dad are in the living room, Mom with a mug of coffee balanced precariously on the armrest of her chair and Dad biting into a piece of toast while playing word games on his phone from the corner of the sofa.
“Morning, you two,” Mom says, a whole lot less shocked to see Jasper than I expected.
“Big day,” Dad says, putting his phone away. “How did you sleep?”
“Fine,” I say, eyeing them curiously. Shouldn’t they be making a bigger deal about me having had a boy stay over? Sometimes I think I need a mind-link to know where their heads are at.
Taking one last sip from her mug, Mom, thankfully, places the coffee on a level surface then comes to give me a hug.
“What was that for?” I ask when she finally releases me, though not completely, as she still holds my shoulders with talon-like claws.
“You’re all grown up.”
Dad stands and moves to us, rubbing Mom on the back and smiling his lopsided smile at me. Suddenly, I’m being hugged again, this time by both my parents.
“Get on in here,” Dad says, waving Jasper into the family hug. He’s hesitant but eventually relents and joins.
It’s nice being hugged on three sides by the most important people in my life, though with no end in sight, I start to feel a little claustrophobic. That is, until the doorbell rings.
“I’ll get it,” I say, eagerly breaking away from the emotional clump.
“Ready to go, Cuz?” Omar asks when I open the door.
Behind me, I can sense Jasper’s feathers ruffling. He’s not all too happy about Omar coming with me, but Omar knows where the rogue leaders are, and he’s my best in with them. It makes sense.
I told Jasper he should be happy I’ll have someone there to protect me, but he only rolled his eyes and growled a little. “Why does it have to be him?” he asked, pouting.
“Because it does. You’ve got to trust me,” I said, and he told me he did, so it was settled.
We all head outside, where Omar has a car waiting.
“Uh-uh,” Jasper says, stopping halfway down the driveway. “No way. You’re not going in that thing.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask, turning back.
“Where did you find that beat-up piece of junk?” Jasper asks Omar.
“Your people gave it to me,” he replies.
Jasper fishes in his pocket and, to my abject shock, pulls out his car key.
“Here.” He shoves the little black key thingy at me. “Take mine.”
“Jasp, it’s fine, you don’t have to—” Before I can finish, he’s grabbed my hand and plopped the key onto my palm, wrapping my fingers around it so I have no choice but to accept. “But you love your car. What if something happens?”
“You’ll make better time this way. And you won’t be stuck at the side of the road when that heap breaks down.”
“You’re sure?” I ask, knowing Jasper wouldn’t give up his car easily.
“Just . . .” He glances over my shoulder at Omar. “Don’t let him drive.”
Our mode of transportation sorted, Omar and I drop our stuff in the trunk, and he waits at the open passenger-side door, leaning on the roof.
“I’ll take good care of him,” he says to Jasper—who nods reluctantly—before getting into the car.
I say my last goodbyes to my folks, trying not to be the absolute mess that is my dad, then turn to Jasper.
“Let me know where you are at all times, okay, Bonehead?” he says, pressing his forehead to mine.
“I will. And you can speak to me whenever you want.”
“I love you,” he says, and I say it back.
“More than the moon.”
I don’t want to let him go. There’s an unshakable feeling as if I’m leaving him behind, abandoning him at the most testing moment in his life. But we both know I have to go. And suddenly, the time has come.
I kiss him fiercely one last time, stepping away and letting our joined hands hang in the air between us as long as possible, until finally my fingers slip through his.
“Ready for an adventure?” Omar asks, already settled in the passenger seat.
“Let’s go,” I say, and have to force myself to look at the road and not at the expression on Jasper’s face as I pull away.