Chapter 21
PIXIE DUST
“You wouldn’t believe this place,” I tell Jasper. I’m sitting in Olivia and Mia’s yurt-style tent. Omar is somewhere getting cleaned up while the girls are giving me some privacy so I can update Jasper. “Everyone here is queer and so committed to helping other rogues. It’s amazing.”
Just walking from the fire circle to this tent I saw so many more of Olivia and Mia’s Pixie friends as they went about beginning their days.
It was like morning at an artists’ commune or something.
Everyone was giving alternative vibes. Their hair was styled in radical ways, their clothes were colorful, layered in a mess of mismatching fabrics and patterns.
Everywhere I looked was a painting or something crocheted.
One guy was up early working on a massive wooden sculpture, wielding a chainsaw as he hacked away at the stump of a tree that must have fallen over.
“That’s great,” Jasper replies. He sounded so relieved to hear from me, although I could tell he was frustrated when I explained what happened at the last settlement. “I can’t believe you found the girls too. Salazar will be happy, or maybe pissed he didn’t get there first.”
Olivia gave me her blessing to tell Jasper I’d found her. Although the way she said it made me think she still wasn’t quite ready to be found.
“They seem to have really settled in here.”
A pause.
“Do you think you can convince them to come home? If Morven knew we’d found Mia and—”
“I don’t know, Jasper. I can ask. But it’s their decision.”
“Fine.” He sounded frustrated again. “But you know we’d stand a much better chance against Walter if the Rocky Pack were on our side.”
“I know.” I wipe a hand down my face. I haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours and the fatigue is getting to me. So is Jasper. “I’ll do my best.”
“I know, Max. And you know I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t life-or-death. But we’re running out of time.”
“That’s why we’re going to try and find Mal,” I say. “If she can convince the rogues to unite . . . It could turn the tides, right?”
“It could mean everything,” he says, then after another long pause, adds, “I’m sorry I keep repeating myself. I need you to know, I couldn’t be more proud of you. If anyone can get us through this, it’s you.”
I sit back a little on Olivia and Mia’s bed, digging my hand into their linen sheets. There’s a strange tremor in Jasper’s voice that’s piqued my curiosity.
“Are you okay?”
“It’s my dad, he’s not doing well. The healers are starting to think . . .”
“What is it?”
“He might not wake up.”
Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I am getting excited about a queer commune and Jasper might lose his father, cementing him as the alpha forever.
“Jasper, I’m so sorry, I . . .”
All I want in that moment is to run back to him and hold him so freaking tight.
He sniffs, sucking his emotions back inside.
“It’s okay,” he says, obviously lying. “I just—I need to get us through this and then . . . Let’s hope for the best.”
“I’m going to do everything I can and then get back to you as fast as lightning.”
“Hey, listen, I’ve got to go. I’ll tell Salazar to come home. If you can get Mia to do the same it could move the world, Max.”
I take a big breath and release it with a sigh. “No pressure, though, right?”
“I love you, Max.”
Jasper is gone before I can reciprocate that sentiment.
In the past I would have been annoyed with him for asking me to pressure our friends into going someplace they’re not welcome—at least, not as their truest selves.
But I also know the intense strain Jasper is facing.
The fate of the world is on his back, now more than ever. And as I stand it hits me all at once.
Jasper’s dad isn’t improving.
The approaching war is one thing, but if Jericho doesn’t make it, Jasper will become alpha, for good.
And that would make me the luna. And while I’m so not ready to be tethered to the pack like that—that’s a whole lot of responsibility—I also know I have to do my best to help us come out of this unscathed.
Maybe solving one problem will help solve another.
Maybe winning the war means we can focus more attention on helping Jericho survive?
Which means I need to do everything I can to stop Walter.
But as I cast my gaze around the tent, at the books piled on a stool, the blankets spilling out of a wicker basket, the empty coffee cup left on a side table, the candles burned almost all the way down, I can tell how much of a home this place has become for Mia and Olivia.
Can I ask them to leave all this?
Sure they want to help defeat Walter as well, but at what cost?
As I move the door of the tent aside and step out onto the soft forest floor, I spot Mia gathering some firewood from a pile.
“Need a hand?” I ask as I approach.
“I’ve got it,” she says. “We’re setting up a spot for you in the woods. You want to walk with me?”
“Sure.”
We stroll in silence for a little bit, passing through the village until we hit a forest trail.
“You know, it’s pretty amazing what you’re doing,” Mia says, glancing at me briefly before turning back to the path. “Coming out here to try and help save your pack.”
I feel like she’s hinting at something, like she already knows the conversation we’re about to have.
“Things at home must be pretty messed up too,” she continues.
“I feel for Jasper. We’ve known each other our whole lives and we’ve seen a lot of shit, but something like this wasn’t even on our radar.
If I was in the same situation I don’t know if I could do what he’s doing.
I don’t know if I could step up like that. ”
I shoot her a smile. “I bet you could.”
She shrugs and walks on. Overhead the sun is starting to shine more intensely through the canopy of leaves, the birds sing as we pass.
“It’s so peaceful out here,” I say.
Mia sighs.
“I know what you’re going to ask,” she says.
“You do?”
“I know my father pretty well. He’s refusing to back you up, right?”
“Something like that.”
“Because of me. Because I left.”
She looks at me with this sheepish sort of expression and I nod to confirm her suspicions.
Movement up ahead catches my attention. There’s a clearing and Olivia is using a rake to remove leaves and fallen twigs from a spot in the middle.
Nearby is a pile of familiar accoutrements.
The tools that help me access the Lunar Plane.
Metal bowls, crystals, a platter, incense, and a pouch probably full of wolf teeth.
Mia notices how close we are to the clearing as well and stops, I guess she doesn’t want Olivia to hear what she’s going to say next.
“I wish I could go back,” she says. “But I can’t. Not without her and, well, she feels quite strongly about not running back to a pack that won’t accept us and our relationship.”
“Even if it could stop a war?”
I don’t mean to be so direct or curt. And I especially don’t mean to put pressure on Mia when I know the choices she’s made have to have been some of the toughest of her life.
Mia doesn’t look hurt or offended though, simply resigned.
“My father is the one who could stop this war. I don’t see why I should be responsible for his decisions.”
My shoulders fall.
“I’m sorry, Max. But my place is with Olivia. Until she’s ready to go back, this is where we’ll be. I wish it were less complicated, but that’s just how it’s going to be.”
She turns and heads toward the clearing. I wait a beat then follow.
Olivia looks up as we approach.
“I’ve got one more trip to make,” Mia says after dropping her cargo. “Back in a second.”
She plants a kiss on Olivia’s cheek and passes me, shooting me an apologetic look and heading back into the forest.
“You try and convince her to go back?” Olivia asks, not looking up as she continues to set up the prayer circle. The crystals are in place at four points around where I’ll sit, incense is already burning. Olivia takes the bowls and sets them up in a crescent by a fallen log.
“Not very successfully,” I say.
“I know she wants to,” Olivia says.
“Huh?”
“She misses her family and her friends. She hates that we could be part of the reason Walter and his sick cronies could win. I think she’d even forgive her father if he came around.”
I move to collect a cushion and drop it in the center of the circle.
“Your dad’s been pretty determined to find you too,” I say.
“I know.” She still won’t look me in the eye. “He came close a couple of times, but we dodged his battalion.”
“At home we called it a search party.”
Now she does look at me and it’s the dirtiest glare.
“You’re not honestly trying to tell me I should go back? This war isn’t on my shoulders.”
I put up my hands in surrender.
“Whoa, hey, I wasn’t—I didn’t mean it to sound like that. All I meant is there are people at home who care about you.”
She seems to relent a little, lowering her guard slightly.
“I know. And I know how serious this is. What it must be doing to Jasper, poor guy.” Done setting up, she plops down onto the log, clutching her shins with her palms. “But you’ve seen what the Pixies are doing. It’s good work. I feel like we’re contributing in a good way.”
I move to her and sit by her side.
“You two have been through a lot. And I get it. And I respect your decision to leave. But a lot of wolves are going to get hurt and Mia could help prevent that. But she won’t go without you.”
Olivia turns to me.
“And I won’t go. We shouldn’t have to live like second-class members of the pack, Max. Until things change, really change, the pack will just have to make do without us.”
“What about stopping Walter and the Axis Pack?”
At this she leans back, grinning just a little. “You’ve seen what we’re capable of. We’re doing our bit. Even if it doesn’t look how you or Jasper would like it to.”
I scrunch my lips to the side. “There’s nothing I can say then is there?”
“I don’t think so.”
Attention turned back to the prayer circle, ready for me to do my thing, I set my jaw and nod.
“Then this better work.”
Olivia and I sit quietly, enjoying the fresh, earthy air, the quiet of the morning, until Mia returns with Omar. He looks fresh, cleaned up and in a pair of floaty silken pajama-looking pants and a linen short-sleeve shirt. He must have borrowed them from a Pixie.
“Looking good,” I say, thinking Omar suits this place.
“Ready to hunt?” he asks me.
“As ever.”
Positioned in the center, I shift about on my pillow to get comfortable, while Mia, Olivia, and Omar sit around me like the points of a triangle.
I give each of them a nod, letting them know I’m ready, and Mia and Olivia close their eyes, concentrating, trying to focus their wolf energy in my direction so I can use it to bolster my reach.
Omar gives me a cheeky wink before saying, “Close your eyes.”
I do.
The song of the first bowl rings out, the vibrating sound pulsing through me.
With my palms turned to the sky, I focus on my breathing and let my mind expand.
The extra lunar energy provided by Mia and Olivia fills me and suddenly I feel electric, powerful.
I reach out into the Lunar Plane, searching for a familiar frequency, for Mal.
My consciousness expands and I can tell I’m reaching further and further, spreading out my feelers across the country, hunting, ready to commune.
I repeat a mantra: “Hear me, listen, let our wolves commune, run alongside me.”
I ignore the frequencies of wolves that aren’t Mal, narrowing in until I feel a pull. I can’t tell if it’s her, but the signal is strong. Whoever this person is, they’re extremely in touch with their wolf self. They’re older, strong, resilient.
Narrower and narrower, I focus my search, feeling the pull of this energy, trying to figure out if it’s Mal or not.
In terms of actual location, I can tell which direction I’m being pulled.
The energy I’m sensing is coming from the east, slightly further south than where we are now.
Closer and closer, I move toward the energy, feeling it growing louder, more prominent.
I even think they’ve noticed me and are sending out a message.
Fast as lightning, I travel as if by air, faster and faster, toward the pinpoint of energy, and I’m almost able to reach it, almost able to connect with it when I hear a cold, insidious laugh behind me.
Turning, I see Walter standing in front of me as if he’s actually here, his body somehow transported to the Lunar Plane. But he can’t be, that’s not possible. He must be projecting. How did he find me though? How did he know to intercept me?
“You’re too late,” he says. And a fire lights in his eyes, a fire so bright the image is transported directly into mine. And suddenly I’m surrounded by it.
Flames rise all around me, burning the trees of a forest which surround me, a familiar place that fills me with a nervous buzzing.
And that’s not all that’s on fire. Everywhere I look there are wolves, some in human form and some on all fours, bleeding and burning.
They’re howling in pain as they fall to the ground.
I spin and find myself encircled by pain and suffering. The fire rages. Wolves tumble. Until I alone am left standing in the center of this mass destruction.
“Max?” I hear a pained voice say, struggling to make sound.
I turn again and there is Jasper, covered in soot and dark ashy smudges, his clothes torn, his face scratched.
“Why weren’t you here?” he asks. “Why did you leave?”
“I’m here,” I say and try to run to him, but my feet won’t move. “Jasper!”
Right in front of my eyes he explodes in a ball of flames. They encase him and he screams, collapsing to his knees.
His eyes are full of tears.
He howls in terror.
I cry out, seeing my mate fall.
“Jasper!”