9. Addie
Chapter 9
Addie
I immediately had to get the girls together after the news I got yesterday. I’m at my apartment waiting for them to get here, but it isn’t long before the two of them come barging through the door.
I didn’t tell them why I was calling this emergency meeting. Just that it was big, and I needed to see them asap. How could I tell them in a text that my world just fucking shifted? I barely slept last night, though at least I had Noah’s big strong arms around me, holding me tight. I’m honestly surprised we haven’t had sex again yet, but there was something so comforting, something that felt so much like home being wrapped up in him all night. It’s like the intimacy between us grew even though all we did was cuddle.
It was really hard to leave him this morning, but he had appointments on the books. Thankfully, I didn’t because if there was ever a reason to take a personal day, this is it.
“You won’t fucking believe it,” I tell them as they come through the door.
“Spill it, Adds,” Janie says, flopping down on the couch. Mari comes in after her and sits down, both of them looking at me expectantly.
“Yeah... I really don’t know how to even say this, so I guess I’ll just spit it out.” Taking a deep breath, I blow out all the air from my lungs and say, “My father reached out to me.”
“What?” Mari squeals. “Holy shit! Are you serious?”
Janie blinks for a moment before she responds. “How?”
“Remember that DNA test I did?” I ask as they both nod. “Yeah, well, I guess he did one recently, too. I hadn’t checked lately, so I never saw it come up that there was a match. He messaged me yesterday morning, saying he’s been looking for me since I turned eighteen. I guess he thought I was adopted and didn’t want to reach out to me until I was an adult.” I sit down between them and hand my phone to Mari, letting her read his message. She passes it to Janie and they’re both watching me like they don’t know what I might do or how they might be able to fix it if I fall apart.
“So... are you going to respond?” Mari asks. “I’m really curious about what it is he wants to tell you.”
“I’m still trying to figure that out.” I swallow, my heart thumping wildly. “I mean, I’ve always wanted to find my family, but now that it’s become reality, I’m afraid of what it might look like.”
“You’re worried he might not live up to your expectations?” Janie asks.
“Yeah, but I’m more worried that I won’t live up to his... It’s been hard enough moving from this house to that house to a group home and back to that house... Wondering what it was about me that didn’t deserve to be cared for, nurtured... I’ve felt nothing but rejection from every family unit I’ve been around. Why would he be any different?”
“Oh my god,” Janie whispers. She’s tearing up, and that makes me want to cry, too.
“So, what are you going to do?” Mari asks.
“I think I need to respond to him,” I say, taking my phone back. “Maybe just tell him that I’m processing things and I’ll get in touch soon.”
“I think that’s the right decision.” Mari nods, and Janie agrees.
Tears well up in my eyes, and I can’t keep them from spilling down my cheeks. My friends wrap me in a hug, letting me sob into their shoulders. I feel their warmth and love surrounding me, and it makes me feel strong enough to face this.
“I’m here,” Mari says, her voice thick with emotion. “We both are.”
“I know. And I’m grateful for that. I just...”
“You want your father to be a real father to you,” Janie finishes.
“Yes. God, is that even possible at this age? I’m a grown-ass adult...”
“It’s hard to say,” Mari says. “He’s been looking for you. That has to be a good sign that he wants to be in your life, right?”
Noah’s face flashes through my mind, and I realize that my two best friends don’t even know what’s transpired between us. No time like the present to tell them. I dry my tears and pull back, looking at them both. “There’s something else I need to tell you.”
Janie’s brow raises. “More? Well, spill it, sister.”
“I’ve sort of been... Well, it’s early and I don’t know what will happen but I’m sort of with Thrash.”
“What?” they both scream, and I have to laugh at their reaction.
“Yeah,” I say. “He was there, well actually, I was there at his house yesterday when I got the message. He’s just... Been incredible.” I can’t stop the smile from growing or the blush creeping over my cheeks. “I’ve always kind of liked him, you know, and I’m sorry to even admit this because it makes me feel like a terrible horrible loser of a friend, but I’ve been a little jealous of you two lately and what you’ve found with your guys.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Mari says.
“No,” I say. The last thing I need right now is for them to pity me. “I’m incredibly happy for you two. Really, I am, I promise. I just think that maybe it’s time for me to get a taste of the happiness y’all have found.”
“Absolutely,” Janie says.
“Oh my god, I just thought of something... Do you want us there if you decide to meet your dad? Maybe it would make it easier to have some support.”
I think about it for a second before answering. I’ve wanted them by my side for everything, but this time feels different. This time, it’s not them that I need. It’s him . “I think I want Noah there.”
“Noah?” Janie asks. “Oh! Thrash! I forgot he had an actual name,” she says with a chuckle.
“Yeah, Noah,” I say, and that smile that just won’t go away only grows bigger.
“Oh my god,” Mari says. “I can see that look on your face, missy. You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”
“I am... I mean... It’s still really early, but there’s a definite connection. He’s already told me that he’s in love with me.”
“What? Already?” Janie asks with a look of disbelief on her face.
“Is that so hard to believe? I mean, y’all fell in love pretty much at first sight with your men, did you not?” I tease.
“True, true,” Mari says. “And it’s amazing. You deserve to be happy. And to have someone who loves you.”
“I’ve been fighting it so hard, though,” I confess. “I’ve been so terrified of getting hurt, but he’s been nothing but patient and sweet.” I sigh. “I think I’ve got it bad.”
“You definitely do,” Janie says.
“We’ll see how it goes. I’m nervous, especially with all this stuff going on with my father. I’m just a mess. Who would want to deal with this kind of drama?”
“Sounds like Thrash is the one who is up for it,” Mari says with a smirk.
I let out a shaky breath, trying to calm my nerves. I don’t know what will happen from here, but I do know that I’m done running from Noah.
I’m done running from happiness.
For the first time in my life, I can feel it within my grasp, and I’ll be damned if I let it go so easily.