12. Addie
Chapter 12
Addie
T he restaurant where I’m supposed to meet my father is a cute little place where they serve southern style food. We’re a little early, but we decide to go in and sit down to wait. I’m too nervous to eat, but I order a glass of wine to help settle my nerves. Noah gets a beer and we wait to order until I know if I’m even able to eat something.
I sip my wine and try to calm myself down, but it’s not working. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I keep looking at the door, watching for him. My phone says it’s 6:01. Is he a punctual person? Will he be late? Did he change his mind?
Noah takes my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “It’s gonna be okay, baby,” he says.
“I know,” I say, but I’m not sure that I do. I’m not sure of anything right now. My stomach is in knots, my heart is racing, and my palms are sweaty. What if he doesn’t show? What if this is all just a big mistake? What if I don’t like him? What if he doesn’t like me?
The door opens, and I look up to see a man who looks to be mid-40s walk in. He’s tall with an athletic build and has dark hair and dark eyes. Surely, that’s not him. He doesn’t look old enough. My heart sinks, but something about him keeps me from looking away. He glances around the room before his gaze lands on me, and I can see something in his eyes. Recognition, maybe? But I don’t know how since we didn’t exchange pictures. A soft smile spreads across his face, and my heart stops as he moves in our direction.
It is him. He must have been young when I was born. Very young.
Noah squeezes my hand again and lets go as the man approaches. He looks at me with such kindness in his eyes that I want to burst into tears. This is really my father. I’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, and now it’s here.
I stand up, not sure what to do, and he pulls me into a hug. It’s awkward, but it’s perfect. I melt into him, even though he’s a stranger.
We pull apart and both sit down. Noah introduces himself and the two men shake hands. The waitress comes over, and my father, Nate, orders a drink. We make small talk for a few minutes before the waitress returns with his drink.
Nate tells us about his life in Florida, how he has his own business as a contractor, and that he’s not married and hasn’t had any other children.
“Why’s that?” I ask, a little sad that I don’t have any siblings.
“I just never found the right person after your mom,” he says, sadness tinging his words.
“What happened to her?” I ask. “I know she died but I never knew how.”
“Your adoptive parents didn’t tell you?”
“I was never adopted... I grew up in foster care until I aged out.”
“Oh, Addison,” he says and reaches across the table, taking my hand in his. “I’m so sorry. I never knew that. I thought for sure you had been adopted, especially since you were a baby when everything happened.”
“Why didn’t you take me?” I blurt out, tears stinging my eyes as a sudden burst of anger takes over. I don’t want to run him off though, so I reel it back in. “I’m sorry.”
“No... It’s okay. You have a right to know. Your mom and I were both foster kids. In fact, we met when we’d both ended up in foster homes that were in the same neighborhood. I took to her instantly. We were sixteen and even though everyone said we couldn’t possibly be in love, I knew that what I felt for her was something I’d never felt before. Something special. It wasn’t long before she was pregnant... We had so many plans. We would both be seventeen by the time you’d be born. We were going to run away just as soon as we could and get married and break the cycle. Neither of us had families, so we were determined to be that for each other. We were going to pour every bit of ourselves into building a good life for you.”
“What happened?” I breathe. A love story like this... It’s sounding too perfect to have ended up the way it did.
“When you were just a few months old,” he starts and has to take a deep breath. I can see tears welling up in his eyes. “We hadn’t gotten out on our own yet, and things were getting more tense at the foster home she was at. They had a biological son of their own still living there. He was around 24 and had made a pass at your mom several times. We thought it was all taken care of once she’d told her foster parents and they made him move out. But I guess he came back and confronted your mother. An elderly neighbor said they overheard him threatening to hurt you and called the police. Before they could get there, he... He went crazy... And your mother was gone. There was nothing they could do.”
“Oh my god,” I barely breathe out. Noah takes my hand and squeezes as I sit here in disbelief.
“I was working at McDonald’s at the time, and another neighbor called to tell me what had happened. I ran straight there, but she’d already been taken away, and he’d fled. Thankfully, he hadn’t harmed you, but because I was still a minor and in the system myself, they wouldn’t let me take you. After losing Kathy,” he says and my heart skips a beat at the mention of her name. I’d never even known for sure what it was. “And them taking you, I knew I had nothing left to lose and the only thing I could do to do right by you and your mom was to make sure that demon got the justice he deserved. There had already been talk around town that it wasn’t what it seemed, that he didn’t really do it, that someone else, presumably me, had done it and framed him somehow... I was afraid he’d get away with it, so I waited... It didn’t take long to find him. He came creeping back to mommy and daddy within a few days. He never saw it coming. After I took him out, I went to the police and turned myself in.”
I gasp, or at least I think I gasped. Maybe not. I’m actually not sure if I’m really breathing or not. I’m not sure if any of this is real at all.
“You,” I say, unable to find the words.
“I did. Was sentenced to 25 years in prison for it, but I got out after 15. Because I was a minor when it happened and the circumstances, they actually went a little easy on me. I loved your mother, and I loved you. Still do... I know this is a lot to take in and I understand if you never want to see me again, but you deserved to know the truth of it all.”
I’m speechless. I don’t even know how to begin processing this. I just sit here and look at him, tears running down my face. I’m not sure if I’m sad or happy or just overwhelmed.
“I need some time,” I say.
“Of course. I’m staying at the Ramada for a few days if you’d like to see me again before you go home,” he says and stands up. “If you don’t, then I understand.” I want to stand, to tell him goodbye, to hug him or tell him to get the fuck out of my life... Something... Anything, but I can’t. I’m in shock. I’m frozen in place, unable to move. He smiles softly at me. “It was nice to finally meet you, Addison. I’m so proud of you. You’ve grown into a beautiful young woman.”
I watch him leave the restaurant, and I’m still frozen as Noah pulls me to him. I don’t know how to feel right now.
I’m not sure I’ll ever feel anything again.