12. Lexi
12
LEXI
I grip the steering wheel a little tighter. I’m exhausted. After very little sleep, Ben took me to class this morning. I told him it was ridiculous, that I could drive myself, but he insisted on taking me with the promise my car would be in my dorm room parking lot by the time class was over.
I had hoped I’d see him standing there, waiting on me, but all I saw was my car, now clean, with a note on the seat that read I’ll see you later .
At the time, I didn’t think anything about it. We didn’t talk about any plans or anything, but I knew I wanted to see him.
After classes, I went back to the dorm, did homework, and posted social media for my three clients. I really should call my brother or Tara, but I’m not ready to explain everything to them yet. Hell, I’m not even sure I know how at this point. It’s been a whirlwind.
Once I get everything done, I know I don’t want to sit at the dorm the rest of the night. I don’t have any classes tomorrow, and I don’t have to worry about coming home early, so I pack up my laptop and an overnight bag.
I’m excited until I get closer to Ben’s cabin. I haven’t heard from him all day. Maybe he’s busy. Maybe when he said I’ll see you later , he meant another day.
It’s dark by the time I pull into the Heat I go past him and toward the bedroom.
I hear him shut the door and then his footsteps following me. As soon as he walks into the bedroom, I set my bag down and pull out shorts, T-shirt, and underwear. “You care if I shower?”
I lay down my clothes and start to undress. Ben leans against the door jamb and crosses his arms over his chest. Damn, I hope I’m making the right decision here. His eyes are trained on me as I take off my clothes, and when I stand up, fully naked, I start walking toward him. “Ben… you mind if I shower?”
He tenses when I brush against his arm. He’s practically drooling as he looks at me, and that gives me a little boost of confidence. He runs his hand across his face. “Yeah, you can shower.”
I almost walk past him, but instead, I say what needs to be said. “If you want me out of your life, tell me now.”
He chokes over the words. “I can’t.”
I hold my hand out to him. “I’m just following rule number three, Ben. You said you’d fuck up, and you just did. You can’t make me feel what I felt last night and then tell me to walk away tonight. I’m sticking around so you can make this right.”
I walk into the bathroom but leave the door open. If he’s smart, he’ll join me, but I’m not sure if he’s going to appreciate the challenge. I turn the water on and wait for it to get warm. When I step in, I hear Ben behind me, and I let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding. He steps up behind me and puts his arms around me and holds on to me. I’m tense but let myself melt into him. I cover his hands at my waist and wait for him to say something… anything.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters.
I lean my head against his chest. “I know you are.”
“Sometimes what I do is dangerous, and I wouldn’t survive it if something happened to you. I want to keep you safe, but I don’t want to let you go… I wouldn’t blame you if this is too much, princess.”
I turn in his arms and look up at him. “It’s not too much. I wasn’t the one wanting to walk away, Ben. You were pushing me away.”
He leans down, resting his forehead on mine. “If you left, I would have followed you.”
“If you didn’t follow me, I would have showed up to Heat & Ink tomorrow to ask Gunner for a tattoo.”
“Ugh.” He groans. “Rule number four, no one touches your body except for me.”
I laugh. “I’m fine with that.”
“You brought a bag. You staying tonight?”
Embarrassed, I realize that was pretty presumptuous of me. “If that’s okay. I don’t have class tomorrow.”
He puts his hands on each side of my neck. “If it was up to me, you’d be in my bed every night.”
I suck in a breath and let it out slowly. He pulls away from me and reaches toward a cabinet outside of the shower. He grabs a wash cloth, puts soap on it, and starts washing my body.
I’m concentrating on his touch when he breaks the silence. “I need Cruz’s number.”
I open my eyes in shock. “You want my brother’s phone number?”
When he nods, I ask, “Why?”
He touches my cheek. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it on the up and up. I’m not going to hide it from anyone.”
I lift my chin. “I’m not hiding anything.”
He looks into my eyes. “Have you told him about us?”
“No, I haven’t, but in my defense, this all happened pretty fast. I mean, last week, you wanted nothing to do with me.”
He puts his finger on my chin and lifts my head so I have to look at him. “I’ve wanted you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. It just took me a bit to get my shit together.”
I want to plead with him, but I try to remain calm. “I’ll talk to him.”
Ben chuckles. “Don’t you trust me, princess?”
I put my hands at his bare waist and try to suck in a breath. “You pushed me away not ten minutes ago, so don’t blame me if the trust isn’t completely there. I know my brother, and he’s pretty protective?—”
He cuts me off. “And he should be. He’s been a dad to you for the last eight years.”
I nod in understanding. “I know, but I don’t want him to say something to you and you get it into your head again that this won’t work. It doesn’t matter what other people think. This is between me and you.”
He bites on to his lower lip. “Do you want to be with me, Lexi?”
The vulnerability is plain on his face, and I’m not sure what to say to him to make him feel right about this. I could easily tell him I love him and mean it, but I’m worried that will freak him out. “Yes, I want to be with you.”
He nods. “Then we’ll be together. But I still need to talk to your brother. It’s the right thing to do.”
I know he’s right, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Instead of arguing with him, I put my hand at the back of his neck and pull him down until our mouths are almost touching. “I really don’t want to talk about my brother right now.”
His hands dig into my hips, pulling me against his arousal, “I know what you’re doing, Lexi.”
I laugh and grind against him. “Is it working?”
His hand slides across my hip, and he palms my pussy. When his finger slides between my swollen lips, I groan, leaning into him. His voice is husky in my ear. “Yeah, it’s working… for now. I’m going to get you clean so I can dirty you up again.”
He presses his finger to my swollen clit, and I open my legs wider, needing more.
I can no longer focus on anything except Ben and the way he’s making me feel. That’s it. Tomorrow will be another day, and I’ll worry about my brother and everything else then.