Chapter 21 #2
When the day finally arrived, Len looked the part in his velvet collared suit and boot lace tie.
Jimmie looked stunning in her fifties-style wedding dress, as did all the bridesmaids.
The church service went off without a problem, apart from the fact that Ash turned up with a bloke.
I was at the front of the church, showing people where to sit when she walked in.
She looked stunning in a blue dress and silver heels—no purple in sight. Her gaze met mine and I watched as she squared her shoulders, tilted her chin and reached for the hand of the fuckhead standing next to her.
“Fuck,” I said under my breath. I instantly felt my mother’s eyes burning into me. She was twenty fucking feet away. The woman had bionic hearing when it came to swear words.
“Sorry,” I mouthed to her. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head like I was four-years-old.
The service was lovely and romantic and blah, blah blah bullshit.
Jim gagged at even the whiff of shit or puke, so there went the in sickness bit, and there was no way she’d ever obey Len, so that was out the window too.
I seriously didn’t see the point of all that bollocks, except I did, and she was sitting four rows from the back with a Desperate Dan lookalike.
He was four feet wide and nine feet tall.
I just knew that he’d eaten a whole cow in a pie for breakfast that morning.
In fact, I swear he had part of the tail caught in the designer stubble on his chin and a hoof stuck between his front teeth.
I looked at her a total of seventeen times in the church and desperately tried to get near her as the photos were being taken.
“Will you get the fuck over here and stop wandering off,” Bailey growled through gritted teeth. He was taking the best man bullshit far too seriously if you asked me.
“You’re behaving like a fucking bored toddler the way you keep wandering off.” I dug my hands in my pockets and kicked at the gravel, probably looking a lot like a bored toddler.
When the photos were finally done, Ash was nowhere in sight. When we got to the function hall, she was sitting nowhere near me.
I spent the next few hours eating, drinking, and smiling my way through the speeches. Kissing aunties and cousins and being chatted up by no fewer than nine women, most of whom I was related to.
Finally, when the tables began to be cleared, I stood and made my way past where she was sitting and out to the bar.
It didn’t take long for her to follow. She had her arm looped through Georgia’s and she totally ignored me as they both headed towards the ladies toilets.
A minute later, Maca appears next to me with the Neanderthal in tow. He cleared his throat and looked a little uncomfortable. “All right, mate? This is Ashley’s fella, Dan.” I spat my bourbon. I kid you not, the fuckhead’s name was Dan.
I nod my head in his direction.
“All right. Ashley’s boyfriend, eh? She moves fast, that girl.”
I shouldn’t have, I really shouldn’t have.
“We’ve only just broken up. I can’t believe she’s moved on so quickly. We only decided a few days ago that we were gonna try and work through our problems.”
But I did.
His mouth opened and closed a few times before he said, “I’m not … I’m not her boyfriend. I’m just her date for the night. We don’t really know each other that well. This is our first date, really.”
And your last.
Ash and Georgia came back from their bathroom break and there were a few seconds of awkward silence.
“Ashley, you look absolutely beautiful—stunning, in fact,” I told her.
She narrowed her eyes on me then opened, looked inside, and then closed the bag she had with her. We all watched, mystified as she patted herself down, as if checking her pockets. She then looked all around her.
“What are you looking for?” I asked.
“The fuck I’m supposed to give about what you think of how I look.”
Oh, she’s such a comedienne.
“Nup, can’t find it. I reckon that means it don’t exist.” She turned her attentions to Dan the cow killer.
I should’ve just said fuck this for a game of soldiers and walked away, but I wasn’t done yet.
“Ash, can we go somewhere and talk for a minute please?” I reached out and put my hand on her arm. She looked down at where I was touching her before meeting my gaze, her eyes filled with tears.
“No, now take your fucking hands off me.” She spoke to me through gritted teeth and I didn’t hesitate to remove my hand.
“I’m sorry. I just wanna—”
“Just wanna what, Rock Star? You just wanna what? Fuck with my head some more? Fuck me some more? Or just fuck off and leave me, again? What, tell me?”
‘Desperate to be anywhere but here’ Dan said nothing. He pretty much stood with his back to us as he tried to get served at the bar.
I wasn’t doing this now. It was Jimmie and Len’s wedding. I wouldn’t do what everyone expected and cause a scene.
“Nothing, Ash, nothing. You look beautiful, that’s all. I just thought you should know.”
I watched as a tear rolled down her perfect cheek, then I did what I did best; I turned and walked away to the sound of Georgia calling out my name.
I spent the next couple of hours chatting with family members and drinking far too much. Maca found me sitting at the bar at the opposite end of the room to where I left him.
“I had no idea she was bringing him, else I would’ve warned you. What the fuck is going on with you two anyway? I had no clue things had gotten serious.”
“Well, if you’d have been the fuck around, you might know a bit more,” I said without looking at him.
He sat down on the bar stool next to me. “Fair enough, but I’ve had some bridges to build with your sister. We needed some time on our own to get back on track.”
I felt like an arsehole. What had gone on with Ashley was in no way Maca’s fault. I was just pissed off at the world.
“How are things with my sister?” I asked, whilst destroying a cardboard beer coaster. “You get to the bottom of the Cameron King thing?”
“We’re okay. I’m not sure that she’s all in yet. There’s gonna be trust issues for a while, I’ve gotta expect that, and he’s messed with her head, big time. Told her that he loves her and went on a drink and drug binge.”
“Fuck. Seems hard to imagine, a big hard bloke like that falling apart over my little sister.”
“Yeah, she’s good at getting blokes to do that,” he said with a shake of his head.
“She’s feeling guilty over what she’s done to him and still struggling to totally trust me. I think she’s already worrying about next year’s world tour.”
I nodded my head, knowing a little of how he felt and being only too aware that I’d fucked up any chance of Ashley ever trusting me.
“So, you two gonna get married?” It seemed like the logical move to me. He surprised me by shaking his head no.
“We’re not gonna rush into anything. We’ve got four years of catching up to do.
If we get married, people are gonna expect babies, and we just want some time for us right now.
We’ve both grown up and changed a lot in the time we’ve been apart.
We need to get to know each other again.
We’ll get around to it when it suits us, not everyone else. ”
He gestured to the barman for more drinks. Someone came up and made small talk, a cousin of Jim’s, he said. When he left, Maca asked, “So come on, then. What’s the go with Ash? She’s really pissed off with you, dude. She was almost in tears when you walked away.”
“We had something good.” I turned and looked him in the eyes.
I wanted him to know that for once, I was serious.
For the first time ever, I, me, this bloke right here, had feelings for a girl that went beyond sex—way, way beyond.
“We had something good and then I did what I do best and fucked it all up.”
“How?”
“I had her move in with me because she was sick and I wanted to look after her. She was with me for over a week and I never touched her,” I admitted.
His bushy eyebrows raised up into his hairline. “All this time, and you haven’t slept with her?”
“I slept with her plenty of times, but we didn’t have sex, not until the night before I left.”
“You fucked and ran,” he stated.
“I panicked. She’s perfect … too fucking perfect and I’m…
” I shrugged my shoulders at him. “I’m just me, and I knew that eventually I’d balls it all up and let her down somehow, so I thought it’d be better to get out sooner rather than later.
” It felt good getting it off my chest, even if it didn’t change anything.
“So you jogged off and banged the Russian?”
“I didn’t bang anyone. I made sure I had my picture taken with plenty of birds so that she would hate me and move on, but I didn’t bang a single one of them. I couldn’t. I could only … all I can think of is her. I want her back, Mac, but she won’t listen to a word I say.”
“Have you tried talking to her in private? Like, not at a bar at a celebrity wedding?”
Oh, I tried, and ended up traumatised for life and probably unable to father children. “I went to her flat.”
“And?”
“She pepper sprayed me and kicked me in the balls. I went down like a sack of shit.”
He spits his bourbon all over the bar. “She did … what the fuck, Marls?” He actually had to hold his sides as he laughed.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh all you like. Don’t forget I’ve seen the state you’ve been in over my sister.”
He cleared his throat and took another sip of his drink before speaking. “That’s a classic, mate. I tell ya what, you two are made for each other. You’ve met your match with that girl, and that’s exactly what you need.”
“Yeah, she is, but am I what she needs?”
He leaned away from me and opened his mouth a couple of times before any words came out. “Why the fuck wouldn’t you be?”
“Come on, Mac. This is me we’re talking about … Marley? When I’m not busy fucking up my own life, I’m busy fucking up other people’s.”