Chapter 39
SEBASTIAN WASN’T EXPECTING MUCH COOPERATION on this second meeting with his father.
He’d had the upper hand on the first go-round, the element of surprise, since Douglas hadn’t known he’d returned to England.
His father’s condition, being barely recovered, had also made it easier to avoid any discussion of the past. Neither element was going to be present today.
He knocked. The maid didn’t let him in, Douglas’s call did. A quick glance about the room showed that his father was alone. And no longer in bed.
“Where’s the maid?” Sebastian asked. “Don’t need a watchdog any longer. I can reach the bellpull m’self if necessary.”
“And your valet?”
Douglas was standing in front of the mirror, tying his own cravat. Even Sebastian didn’t attempt those fancy knots on his own, though it was rare that he dressed that formally anymore to need John’s expertise in the matter.
“Dismissed him years ago and never bothered to hire another. Found I prefer to dress m’self,” Douglas said before he turned away from the mirror to give Sebastian his attention. “Beating about the bush, are you?”
Was it that obvious? The question didn’t embarrass him, but he didn’t like that his father could still read him so well. “No, just judging for myself how well you are.”
“Before you attempt to walk all over me again?” Douglas said pointedly.
Now that embarrassed him. It also warned Sebastian that his father had recovered more of his strength than the family realized.
So much for having another advantage. In fact, if he didn’t quickly introduce the topic he’d come there to raise, he had a feeling they’d be discussing the door and how he should make use of it.
“I wasn’t expecting you to ignore your doctor’s advice,” Sebastian said.
“Nor have I—for the most part. But aside from the occasional headache, I’m feeling up to scratch. That infernal weakness is gone, so there’s no reason for me to warm the bed any longer.”
Sebastian guessed that his father had been getting dressed actually to leave his room.
Bloody hell. Margaret was right, someone was going to mention her marriage to him in passing, with the assumption that he already knew about it.
While she would be able to carry through on the farce as she’d intended, he hadn’t expected old feelings to arise that would prevent him from doing the same.
Seeing his father like this, without the animosity that had come between them, reminded him too much of the closeness they’d shared before he’d left England.
He’d never lied to his father, never had a reason to. He would have found the very idea ludicrous. Sebastian wasn’t that man anymore, but then—he was. It was a bloody strange feeling that didn’t sit well with him a’tall.
“But you didn’t come to inquire after my health, did you?” Douglas continued.
“No, and I’ll be frank. I want to be on a ship sailing to France before the end of the day. You can assure that by simply—”
He couldn’t finish, had to turn around. The disappointment he’d just seen in his father’s expression—it was wishful thinking on his part. He knew damn well it was. Hope could delude a man. But a tightness still welled up in his chest and stopped the words from coming out.
“I’m not going to discuss my run of bad luck again, Sebastian. You can take my word on it that no outside influence of any sort has been involved. To look for a culprit here is ludicrous.”
Too much defensiveness in Douglas’s tone, or Sebastian might have let it go at that. “Let’s discuss your bad leg, then.”
He turned back around in time to see the vivid flush climbing his father’s cheeks. It had been a guess, but damned if it didn’t hit the exact mark.
“How in the bloody hell did you find out?” Douglas demanded stiffly.
Sebastian shrugged. “You just told me.”
“Like hell I did!”
“Suffice it to say, I’m good at adding things up. Too many mentions of a limp. Your reaction merely confirmed that you have some sort of medical problem you don’t care to share with anyone. So what’s wrong with your leg?”
Douglas clamped his mouth shut. The color was still high in his cheeks. He walked over to the reading chair by his window and sat down. No limp whatsoever on the way there, Sebastian observed with a frown. Had he guessed accurately or not?
“Damned if I know what the problem is,” Douglas began, his tone still defensive. “It started quite a few years ago.”
“What did?”
“I’m getting to that!” Douglas almost snarled, making Sebastian realize that embarrassment was causing his father’s high color.
“I was on my way to the stable for my morning ride, realized I’d forgotten my riding crop and turned about abruptly to fetch it.
I heard the pop quite clearly, it was so bloody loud.
Thought I’d snapped the bone in my knee.
And it swelled up immediately, nearly twice its size.
But oddly, it didn’t feel like a broken bone.
It was painful, but nothing I couldn’t tolerate. ”
“What did Culden have to say about it?”
Brighter color infused his cheeks as his father admitted, “I never sent for him.”
“Why not?”
“I was going to, but the groom who helped me back to my room that day mentioned that Culden was in the next county visiting his sister and wouldn’t be back before evening.
He offered to ride over, but with the pain lessened as soon as I elevated my leg, I figured it wasn’t an emergency and could wait.
And by that evening the swelling was already starting to recede. ”
“So you didn’t actually break any bones?”
“No indeed, and it seemed to be getting better by the hour, so the good doctor wasn’t needed.
A couple days later the swelling was completely gone and I was even able to walk on the leg again.
By the end of the week, there was no discomfort left a’tall.
I figured I merely tore some muscle and it mended itself. I gave it no further thought.”
“But that wasn’t the end of it?”
Douglas sighed. “No. Once or twice a year my knee simply gives out on me. Usually I can catch myself before I fall, but sometimes it just happens so abruptly that I go down hard. And it goes through the same bloody routine each time, the swelling, which only lasts a few days, some pain, enough to keep me from putting my full weight on it, then right as rain again, as if nothing happened.”
“Your accident on the cliff?”
Douglas made a look of disgust. “My own fault, that one. I felt my saddle loosen up and realized the new groom hadn’t known any better than to saddle a horse when it’s bellowed.
I should have noticed it m’self before I left the stable, but I didn’t.
I was in the process of dismounting to tighten the straps when my knee gave out. ”
“So every accident you’ve had has been the result of your knee buckling?”
“Most of them, yes.”
“And this last accident?”
Douglas snorted. “No, that was my stallion acting like a silly mare when a field mouse shot across the road under his feet. Damned animal reared up then bolted off the road. The lower branch there caught me by surprise, or I would have been able to duck under it.”
Sebastian shook his head. “Care to mention why you’ve kept all this to yourself?”
Douglas scowled. “I despise this weakness, but I’ll live through it. I’ve learned to take precautions. And it’s nobody else’s business, so I’d appreciate it if you don’t mention it to anyone, including Maggie.”
Sebastian finally understood. His father viewed his infirmity as a personal weakness, so he was actually ashamed of it. Pride. It could manifest itself in the oddest ways.
“As you wish. I believe I can convince her to take my word on it, that her concerns were groundless. And since that concludes my business here...”
He turned to leave. He did pause briefly at the door, but his father said nothing to stop him. He had to force himself to remain silent, or he would have snarled out his own bitterness. He wasn’t welcome here. He’d merely been tolerated.