Chapter 16
ADRIANA
I get home at seven.
Well. Not my home. Lochlan's penthouse. But the word slipped into my head without permission, and I keep flipping it around to see how it feels.
Real enough for me to think it, I guess.
I decided to keep my own place for the time being. I’m not sure what I’ll do with it, if I’ll sell or rent it. I have to move the rest of my things here, too. I dragged my feet for a while, keeping only what I needed with me.
Maybe it’s time to really open up to this new life. I’ve been flipping that around, too.
I stopped by the hospital on the way here to see Dad.
There's been no change with his condition. He’s still stable, still on all the machines while we all wait for what is starting to feel like a miracle.
But I still hold onto the hope that he knows I’m with him.
I sat next to his bed for twenty minutes, held his hand, and told him about the Harrington-Cole deal that averted total disaster for Castellano Shipping.
And us. He didn't respond. He hasn’t so far.
But I keep going. Keep talking. Because the alternative is accepting that he might never wake up, and I'm not ready for that.
I’d love for him to sit right up in the bed and tell me what a stupid idea the Harrington-Cole deal was, that he’d have never gone down that path. My God, I would love to hear him berate me. It would be like the sweetest music.
I leave the hospital, my heart deflated as it always is when I walk out because I never really know if it’ll be for the last time.
I take the elevator up to the penthouse.
The door slides open. Lochlan is on the couch with Reaper, watching something on television.
His arm is flung over his head, the muscles in his bicep popping.
I sweep my tongue over my lips before I realize it.
When I walk in, Reaper launches off the couch and barrels toward me, jarring me from my pointed stare.
"Whatever, dude," Lochlan calls after him. "I was petting you for an hour."
I drop my bag and crouch down to greet him. He presses his head against my chest and I smile, stroking him. “Maybe he just needs a woman’s touch,” I say lightly.
Lochlan’s eyebrows fly up, a sexy grin lifting his lips. “I didn’t realize that was on offer.”
Heat creeps up the sides of my neck. “Well, for him, it is.” I straighten up and smooth down the front of my skirt. “How was your day? I mean, other than the endless stream of texts you so masterfully crafted.”
He snickers and grabs the remote. “Pretty quiet. Yours?”
“Long.” I kick off my heels and step closer to the couch. “I stopped by the hospital on the way back. Just to check on Dad.”
His expression softens. “How is he?”
I sink down next to him, my shoulders slumping forward as I catch my face with my hands. “The same. Always the same.” I peek at him through my fingers. “The doctors keep saying stable like it's good news. But stable just means nothing's changing. Nothing's getting better.”
“Yeah, but it also means nothing's getting worse.”
“I know. I just...” I trail off, a deep sigh heaving my chest. “I keep waiting for him to open his eyes, to tell me I'm doing it all wrong, and to let me know what to do next.”
Lochlan reclines back against the couch, his t-shirt stretching over his chest.
I bite down on my lip. I shouldn’t be looking. I shouldn’t even be thinking about his perfect pecs.
“Not wrong. Just different. And different is good.” He flashes a smile full of encouragement.
“Now tell me what you did today besides stuff yourself full of carbonara.”
“Oh my God, it was so good,” I say, pushing my hair back. “But I totally needed a siesta midday. Luckily, I got my big tasks out of the way before lunchtime.”
“Tell me about the big tasks.”
“Well, I outlined terms of a new vendor contract, talked a nervous client off a ledge, and only threatened to fire one person. It was productive.”
“You exercised restraint. Good for you.”
I shrug. “I guess I'm growing as a person.”
He laughs, and it unleashes the inconvenient swarm of rabid butterflies in my chest.
“I was going to make dinner,” he says, “but I figured you might want to decompress first. Go for a run?”
The last thing on my mind right now is running. I've been going since six this morning, and I’m exhausted. The smart thing would be to eat, work for another hour, and go to bed.
But then I’d be giving up another chance to watch him work that god-like body so hard to keep up with me.
Mm. So tempting.
Screw work.
“Yeah,” I say. “A run sounds good.”
I change in record time, picking out a tank top from lululemon that is a little tighter than the ones I normally wear. It dips a little low, and my sports bra is a tiny bit too small, making my boobs pop.
Luna would be proud.
And Lochlan definitely notices. Tingles dance over my bare arms as his gaze does a slow sweep of my body, his eyes settling on my much perkier girls for a few seconds longer than necessary.
At twenty-eight, I wouldn’t have needed the help, but at this point in my life?
I use every tool I have in my arsenal. And my efforts have obviously paid off.
We take the same route as the first time when we took on the city before dawn.
We start down Commonwealth Ave, headed toward the bridge along the river. Dusk has settled, the sky painted with streaks of blue, pink, and orange. And it’s no longer sweltering hot.
Lochlan keeps up a lot better this time. He’s still struggling, still breathing harder than me, but not dying or stumbling.
“Have you been practicing?" I ask.
“Yeah,” he pants. “Been running while you're at work. Figured I should put the time to use.”
“Wow. Between that and the Mustang, you've been busy.”
He grins through the pain of running. “You remembered.”
“Of course. You mentioned it. The '69 Mach 1.” I glance at him. “You said you’d let me see it when it’s done, but I have to admit, I’m curious. I don’t know how long I can wait.”
“Really? You’re that interested?” His face lights up and I don’t think it’s because of the car. A shiver suddenly assaults me, despite the heat.
“I definitely am. How's the restoration going?”
“Good. I finally sourced the carburetor I needed. I should be able to start her up within the month, sooner than I thought.” He pauses to take a breath. “But you don’t have to wait for that. I can still show her to you, if you really want.”
“I do.” I smile at him. “I don’t say things I don’t mean, Lochlan.”
“Cool. Me either,” he pants.
We run in silence for a while, giving him a chance to catch his breath after all the talking. It’s comfortable. Easy. Well, for me it is. I cast a glance over at him and bite back the smile that threatens my lips.
Maybe not so much for him.
“So what else did you do today?” I ask after a few minutes. “Besides running practice.”
“I called into my office to check on a few accounts. Wolfe sent over some security footage from the port and I've been reviewing it.” He pauses. “Then I worked on the Mustang. There's a garage in Southie that lets me use their lift.”
“I guess you have a whole life I don't know about.”
“You could. Know about it.” He's not looking at me, his eyes on the path ahead. “If you wanted.”
The words hang between us, an invitation I’m not quite sure I want to accept.
“Luna called today,” I say, ignoring the invitation. For now.
“Yeah? How is she?”
“Nosy. Opinionated. Convinced she knows everything about my life.” I laugh. “And, of course, I love her for it.”
“Sounds like a little sister.” He lets out a breathless snicker. “I mean, I don’t know from experience. But I’d guess it’s about right.”
“She asked if I'd kissed you yet.”
I don't know why I say it. The words just tumble out. And I am powerless to stop them.
He trips over a crack in the sidewalk and stumbles, his arms flying out to steady himself. I gasp just as he recovers his balance.
“What, uh, what did you tell her?”
“That there was nothing to tell. That this is a business arrangement. That we're keeping things professional.” I sneak a glance at him. His blue eyes latch onto mine.
“Is that what we're doing?”
I slow down then stop. We're on the bridge now, the city spread out below us, the water dark and glittering in the early evening twilight. No cars, no people. Just us.
“It's what we should be doing,” I say. “This isn't real, Lochlan. None of it. The marriage, the living together. It's all just because of a contract.”
The look on his face makes my heart sink a bit. “Come on, we’d never be in each other’s airspace otherwise. We both know that. And we can't afford to confuse that with—”
“With what?”
“With whatever this is.” I gesture wildly between us. “The dinners. The texting. The... the way you look at me sometimes.”
“How do I look at you?” He takes a step toward me.
“Like—” I tug on my ponytail. “Forget I said anything. It doesn't matter. The point is, we need to keep things professional. Anything else would be—”
“A mistake?”
“Yes.” I say it but damn, it tastes like vinegar on my lips. And his pained expression wrenches my gut.
Why did I have to say anything about a kiss? In what world did I think this was going to be a smart conversation to start?
“Which is exactly why we shouldn't make them worse.” I'm talking too fast now, trying hard to construct walls with my rushed words. “I have a company to run and a crime family to manage, and my father is in a coma, and I can't afford to be distracted by—”
“By what?” He closes the distance between us. “By me?”
His cologne swirls in the air around me. I pull in a breath, letting his spicy scent fill my lungs. Oh God, it only makes those walls harder to erect.
“By feelings I don't have time for.”
“So you admit there are feelings.”
“No,” I say. “That's not what I—”
“Adriana.” His voice is low. Rough. “Stop talking.”
He closes the space between us and snakes an arm around my waist before crushing his lips to mine like he’s done waiting for permission.