Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
HARSH
Raashi’s wild eyes met his own. How had he never noticed how beautiful they were? Probably because he was busy avoiding the poisoned darts they shot at him. But now…Now, he was drowning in them and he never wanted to break free.
“Will you?” he whispered. “Will you let me kiss you again?”
Raashi surged to her feet, desperation lining her every movement. He heard Veda call out to her, but Raashi murmured something in response which seemed to pacify her older sister. Harsh watched her go from his seat on the cold, hard, terrace floor. Just as she reached the door that led to the stairs below, she stopped, her face in profile and illuminated by the light from the corridor beyond. His gaze drank in the sight of her hungrily. And then, she turned and met it. Her stormy eyes met his and clashed, a wealth of unanswered questions and unbanked confusion swirling in it.
She nodded, just once. But she nodded and he saw it. She disappeared down the stairwell, the door banging shut behind her. Harsh was on his feet and following before his brain could even compute the silent exchange. If anyone noticed them disappearing at the same time, he didn’t know and, in that moment, he didn’t care.
The door closed behind him, shutting out the noise from the party that was still going strong. Silence enveloped him as he raced down the stairs, instinctively knowing which way she’d gone. He took the stairs two at a time, leaping over the banister and striding down the corridor that led to his suite of rooms. He found her outside the door, leaning against the wall, eyes wide, hands trembling, lips quivering.
He reached past her and opened the door, stepping back in silent invitation. She didn’t hesitate. She walked past him, eyes straight ahead, not looking at him, not saying a word.
Harsh shut the door, shutting out the world, and enveloping them in their own, private one.
“Lights on low,” he murmured, and the lights came on, set to a warm, yellow, cosy glow. Raashi stood in the middle of his living room, her back to him, her head tipped up to the ceiling like she was looking for answers from God.
The chill draft of the air conditioner did nothing for his fevered brain. All he could think of was touching her, tasting her, breathing her in.
“Raashi?” He went to stand behind her, close but not touching. “We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
She spun around, taking him by surprise and slammed her mouth to his. Harsh fell back, his arms wrapping around her, pulling her close. Teeth clashing, wild grappling, frantic pants and moan, it was as inelegant as it was desperate. His back hit the wall and her soft warmth melted into his front.
If ever there was a line between heaven and hell, Harsh now straddled it.
Her hands fisted in his t-shirt, bunching and pulling, while his fingers threaded through her shortened hair. Need punched through him, his breath rasping out of him like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the world to keep him going.
He slipped a hand under her shirt and cupped her breast, the underwire of her bra digging into his palm. A sharp bite of reality.
He pulled back, panting, and pressed his forehead to hers. Eyes shut, hand clenching in her hair, he fought for control.
“Raashi.”
She stretched up on her toes, her mouth reaching for his. He dropped a quick kiss on it but didn’t let her deepen it.
“Raashi.”
“What?” she snapped, frustrated desire simmering like a second skin on her.
“Are you sure?”
There was a lot of baggage that lay between them. Harsh didn’t want to add regret to it.
“Shut up and kiss me, Kodela. I don’t need your nonexistent morals to be born now.”
Hurt sliced through him as her words penetrated the haze of unbridled sensation that seemed to blanket him. His nonexistent morals. He’d thought this was different. He’d thought Raashi saw him differently. He’d thought she saw him.
But no, she wanted what everyone else did from him. She wanted the Harsh Kodela the world went crazy over. Not the Harsh Kodela he was underneath the carefully curated and polished image.
He pushed past it, past the disappointment and hurt that seemed to wrap prickly, thorny coils around his heart.
“Your wish is my command, Gadde,” he smiled, his lips quirking with humour he didn’t feel.
And then he kissed her. Smooth, practiced, and with every ounce of the vast experience he’d both garnered and was rumoured to have garnered. He poured everything into it, everything but his true feelings. This time it was all things elegant.
When he finally pulled back, Raashi was panting but a small, frown line had appeared between her brows. Harsh smoothened it out with one finger before trailing the finger down her cheek and to the sagging neckline of her loose t-shirt.
He dipped his head and traced the path his finger had taken, her low moan encouraging him along the way. One hand moved to the back to unsnap her bra, the lush, plump curves of her breasts bursting free of confinement. If he’d been a religious man, this would have been when he would have dropped to his knees and worshipped. At her altar and nobody else’s.
He took one taut nipple into his mouth, his tongue lavishing it with attention, tugging, lapping, nipping until a keening wail broke from Raashi’s lips. Her hands clenched in Harsh’s hair, the stinging pain in his scalp one he relished. Reminders. Important ones that he needed.
With one hand, he pulled at her tracks, dropping both them and her underwear to the ground, leaving her lower half bare and open to his gaze. Raashi watched him, her gaze hooded, her lips parted, her chest heaving.
He dropped to his knees in front of her, his eyes holding hers, waiting for her consent. As she had on the terrace, she nodded, a small, clipped movement. And then he put his mouth to her and a sharp cry escaped her. He slapped one hand on her mouth to silence her even as the other curved on her hip, holding her in place for him.
He worshipped her with his mouth, his lips, his tongue, his body trying to tell her what his mind forbade him to. Raashi’s hands stayed fast in his hair, urging him closer, harder, faster, incoherent cries seeping through the fingers covering her lips.
She came apart on a low moan that had a frantic need swarming through him. He buried his face in her thigh, breathing in her scent and kissing her slowly, softly, to bring her back from the cliff she’d flown over. And through it all, he bit back on the desire digging its sharp claws into him.
He fought a vicious battle for dominance over the feelings erupting inside him and he won. He always won. Harsh was nothing without the control that had him donning his mask at will.
He rose to his feet in a slow, languid movement, pulling her pants up as he did so. Holding her gaze, he wiped his arm over his mouth, removing the slick wetness of her very essence from it.
Whatever she saw in his eyes, had her straightening her clothes and flattening her hair into place. The fever of the moments before were replaced by a coolness that felt like he was being dipped in an ice bath.
“I can-“ she said, reaching for him through his pants but he stepped away.
“That’s not necessary darling,” he smiled lazily, mentally forcing his dick to behave itself and stop waving like a flag at full mast.
“But you didn’t-“ Confused, she came to a stuttering halt.
“Don’t worry.” He tucked a stray, rebellious lock of hair behind her ear. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, the scent of sex and satisfaction swirling around them. “We don’t need to get even today. I’ll collect one day. Just not today.”
She stiffened. “This isn’t a business agreement that we need to keep tabs and have a running account.”
He cocked his head as he straightened. “Isn’t it? Hasn’t everything between us been only business?”
The hurt he’d felt earlier reflected in her shocked expression now. A second of pain and vulnerability etched into the delicate lines of her face before she smoothed it over and faced him.
“Of course. Yes, of course. You’re absolutely right.” She smiled, a tight, controlled smile. “I owe you an orgasm, Harsh. Let me know when you wish to collect. I’d be happy to get on my knees and return the favour.”
The visual she drew slammed through his brain making his breath catch in his chest. But before he could exhale and respond, she walked out of the room, the door closing behind her with a quiet, definitive click.
He stared around him at the silent, dimly lit room. Alone. He was alone again, like always. For a few, fleeting seconds, he’d thought that was going to change. That he’d found someone. Someone who might possibly want him.
But no…she, like everyone else, had wanted a man who didn’t truly exist. Weariness settled around him like a cloak. He stumbled towards the bathroom, turning the shower on and stepping under it, fully clothed. He needed to get the scent, the feel of her, off him.
But no matter how long he stood there, water streaming down his face and body, he could still smell her, taste her, feel the imprint of her in his skin.
It didn’t matter that she didn’t want him. He wanted her. And that was where his eternity of hell lay.