Chapter 39 Jada
I couldn’t bring myself to go inside right away. Instead, I wrapped my shawl around myself and walked the sidewalks. The neighborhood was quiet, sans the hum of sporadically placed streetlights and the crack of my wedge heels against the cement.
I used to avoid heels and slouch on dates, but being with Bryce made me stand taller. And his height helped me not feel like I towered over everyone. Or at least that we towered over them together.
A heavy sigh passed through my lips as I turned the corner and continued walking the empty sidewalk. Would my little girl be tall like me? From what I remembered of her dad, he was around my height. The odds were good.
Maybe she would play volleyball. That made me smile—thinking of teaching her to play, watching her games one day. I hoped she liked the sport, because sitting and watching other sports just wasn’t the same, and I always struggled to stay awake in a dark theater.
But who would come with me to the volleyball games? My heart ached to think Glamma wouldn’t be around to join me and that all of my family would be gone.
The ache quickly formed tears along my lashes, and I wiped them away. I was done hiding this pregnancy from Glamma. I wanted to share as much of it with her as possible.
So I turned myself around and started walking back toward the house. No matter what Bryce decided, I wasn’t alone. Glamma was here for me, and my parents were with me in spirit.
The front porch light glowed over the door, a dumb moth bouncing against it.
A million worries flashed through my mind.
What if she judged me for being a single mother?
What if she wasn’t happy to get a new granddaughter?
What if we couldn’t find a way to make it work financially without sacrificing the things that brought Glamma the most joy?
My eyes fluttered closed as I took a deep breath. Equal airtime, I thought. I needed to give myself the chance to think of good things too.
What if Glamma was happy for me?
What if this gave her the reason she needed to stop online shopping so much?
What if Bryce decided he wanted me and this baby and we lived happily ever after?
It seemed like a stretch after seeing the hurt in his eyes earlier, but I hoped anyway.
Before I could reach the door handle, the door swung open, and Glamma stood there staring at me in her cheetah print muumuu. “What are you doing out here? You’ll catch your death.”
My cheeks felt hot as I followed her inside.
“Do you need some cocoa?” she asked. “I think I have some sprinkles.”
My lips lifted. She would always give me cocoa after I lost a volleyball game—she thought it fixed everything. “Yeah, I’d love some.”
“Come on, sugar.” She waved me to follow her to the kitchen. “Tell me about your date! Are his friends as handsome as Bryce is? Any of them into more seasoned women?”
“Glamma!” I gasped and chuckled.
“I’m old, not dead,” she retorted, taking a half gallon of milk out of the fridge.
I shook my head at her and thought back to Bryce’s friends. My neck prickled at the thought of their judgement. If Bryce told them, surely they’d think I was a no-good gold digger. “They seemed nice,” I finally said.
“Of course Bryce would keep good company. He’s a good man,” Glamma said. She put the cup of milk in the microwave and then rummaged through the cabinet for an old box of Swiss Miss.
“He is,” I agreed, despite my initial assessment of him. Even though I’d given him news of my betrayal, he’d been respectful. Never yelled or cussed or devalued my worth. It made my eyes sting more. I turned away from Glamma so I could gather myself.
The microwave went off, and when the door opened, the smell of warm milk and chocolate filled the air. As she mixed it, the metal spoon clinked against the mug—it was vintage with the Campbell’s Soup kid on the outside.
She opened the fridge again, and I watched as she topped it with a dollop of Cool Whip and a pinch of Christmas sprinkles she probably bought back in ’05.
I took it from her and sat at the table. She joined me, and I took a sip, careful not to get the whipped cream on my nose. Warm chocolate filled my mouth, providing an ounce of comfort I needed so desperately.
“Thank you,” I whispered, still trying not to cry.
Glamma looked concerned. “What’s going on, sugar?”
I bit my lip, slowly pushing away the cocoa. “I have something to tell you.”
Her eyebrows pinched together. “Tell me.”
With a breath, I circled my hands over my stomach. “I am pregnant, and I didn’t know it. I’m six months along.”
Glamma’s jaw went slack, showing every one of her silver molars. It was a weird thing to notice, but my brain was scanning every bit of her to gauge her reaction and how I should respond.
“You’re pregnant?” she finally asked.
I nodded, already teary. “It’s a girl.”
She covered her mouth with her hands, still bejeweled despite the late hour. “A girl?”
I nodded.
“Oh, honey, that’s great news!” She got up from the table and walked around to hug me.
With her chest smashed against my face, I mumbled. “It is? Weren’t you the one saying marriage and then baby?”
Pursing her lips, she said, “Maybe that’s not how I planned it, but a baby’s always a blessing. Besides, I was starting to worry I’d never get a great-grandbaby out of you. With Bryce, I was starting to hope but—” She froze and then pulled back. “Does Bryce know?”
I nodded. “I just told him.”
“You told him before me?” She shook her head and slid the hot cocoa back across the table toward her. When she sat down, she took a sip and licked the whipped cream off her upper lip. “We’ll get to that later. What did he say?”
Half amused, half unsurprised, I said, “He was shocked. Said he needs some time to process.”
“Men,” she muttered. “Why their brains work so slow, I don’t know.”
My lips quirked for a moment. “It’s a lot to take in.”
“What is there to take in? It’s a baby. They’ve been around for centuries, you know.”
I stared at her. “Seriously? It’s a big deal. Eighteen years of clothing them, feeding them, housing them.”
“Eighteen?” she asked. “You’re going on thirty and still living with me.”
“Okay, okay.” I gave her a look, knowing I helped her as much as she helped me. “But still, it’s a lot of responsibility.”
“A lot of responsibility.” She nodded. “A lot of joy. A lot of diapers. A lot of laughs. A lot of late nights and early mornings and worried thoughts and proud moments. All of it.” Her eyes twinkled.
“It’s life, and it’s wonderful.” She reached across the table, holding my hands. “Your journey is just beginning.”
Her feelings were contagious. For the first time since finding out, I felt a spark of hope. “You think so?”
“Oh, honey, I know so. I don’t know what I even thought about before I had kids. I know there must have been something, but I sure can’t remember.”
I chuckled, but the joy only lasted so long. This elephant hung between us—Glamma was showing signs of her age. There were so many transitions and changes approaching us.
“What are we going to do?” I asked her. “Money’s tight as it is, and I don’t know if Bryce will want to be involved.”
“We’ll do what it takes,” she said with all the faith in the world.
“It doesn’t just take faith, Glamma,” I told her, begging her to understand. “It takes work and sacrifice and money.”
She stood up, hands on the table. “Here’s what I know.
Your grandpa and I hardly had two nickels to rub together and raised an amazing young woman who never had to stress for food, water, shelter, clothes, or love.
Maybe the numbers didn’t make sense, but it all worked out in the end.
Now, you can stress about money all night, but I’m going to go thank God for my new great-grandbaby.
” She swept from the living room. “Good night.” Her door slammed shut.
Shifting my chair back, I leaned over and rested my head on the cool wood of the table. That had gone better than I had hoped, but I was still left wondering how on earth this was ever going to work.