Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“There now,” Lady Rutland soothed as she eased Alice down into an armchair. “Don’t fret, dear. I am sure this mess will all be untangled soon.”
“He is so angry,” Alice said hollowly. “I have never seen him look at me like that.”
“He’s hurt, that’s all.” Lady Rutland patted her hand sympathetically. “It must have been a shock for him to come back to find you in that condition, and amidst all the whispers and rumors about you both.”
Alice winced. “Is it truly that bad?”
Lady Rutland speared her with a sharp, calculating gaze.
“I won’t sugar-coat it for you, girl, because I respect you too much for that.
Yes, the rumors are damaging, and if I were to offer you both advice, it would be to escape London for a little while.
Retire to your estate and return in a year or two, once everything has settled down.
There will be new scandals in time, and really, a marriage under these circumstances is not so shocking. ”
Alice covered her hands, guilt and shame practically making her sick.
“I didn’t drink, Lady Rutland. I promise I had nothing but the glass of wine Frederick got me, and some lemonade I requested.
I wanted to be so careful—I wanted to help him the way I never have until now.
” Her entire body shook as she fought the tears and despair. “And now he won’t even look at me.”
“Well, if he thinks you did this deliberately, then it stands to reason.” Lady Rutland stroked her hair gently. “He has come to care for you very deeply, you know. This is not merely duty at play.”
“How can I convince him?”
“Do you know what did happen?”
Alice raised her head, staring at Lady Rutland. “I was hoping you could tell me,” she murmured, her voice cracking. “I remember so little. I recall when he came to find me—I remember that clearly enough. How relieved I was to see him. And how confused I’d been before then.”
“You appeared drunk,” Lady Rutland explained gently. “No one could confirm or deny how much you had been drinking.”
“But surely the rumors had to come from somewhere,” Alice said desperately. “Where?”
“Did you tell anyone of the truth behind your situation?”
“Only Charlotte, but—” Alice stopped with a frown.
“Surely not. Charlotte was my friend during my first Season. She would never betray me like this. I told her how happy the Duke makes me. And she said she would—” She tried to remember what Charlotte had said.
“She was angry at the Duke for hurting me, of course, but I understand that. She has not been with him these weeks and seen his remorse. All she knows is how hurt I was after the event. But—”
“You asked her to fetch you your next drink?”
“She offered. I agreed, so long as it was lemonade.” Alice shook her head, but the more she considered it, the more sense it made. Of everyone, she was the only one who knew the full story and might wish Frederick harm. “I trusted her,” she uttered blankly. “I believed that she meant well.”
“Sometimes the people who mean well are not always the people who behave the best,” Lady Rutland replied, chewing on her lip as she thought.
“This will have to be handled with a light touch. Speak with your friend. If she can come out and admit to spreading the rumors, then all this will be more easily repaired. But if not…”
“She will,” Alice nodded resolutely. “I’ll make sure of it.”
Over the next two days, Alice saw almost nothing of Frederick. He left the house before she woke up and returned after she had gone to bed, and not once did he seek her out. The closeness they had cultivated, the intimacy, had disappeared entirely.
They were as two strangers sharing a home, and barely even that.
Once Alice had recovered enough to feel as though she could leave the house, she took Fortuna out to Hyde Park and met Helena, talking blithely as though nothing concerned her, even as she felt the eyes on her.
“My brother didn’t want me to leave with you at all,” Helena admitted. “I had to sneak away from him and Mama. But I do have good news.” She turned a shining face to Alice. “William agreed to marry me. I don’t know what you told the Duke to say to my brother, but it certainly worked.”
Alice forced a smile. At least her meddling had done some good. “I am so glad! Do you have a wedding date settled?”
“A month, just before he goes away. We shan’t have much of a honeymoon yet, but when he returns, we’ll go to Italy! Or perhaps the Lake District.” She flushed prettily. “I’m not entirely sure how much money he has, but I don’t mind even if we don’t go anywhere, so long as I can be with him.”
Alice’s heart agreed, though with a very different man in mind. She would have gone anywhere for Frederick, if he would only have her.
After making sure they were seen in Hyde Park, and after reassuring several ladies that she simply could not wait to get back to her husband—even though she knew he was not at Langford Manor—she made her way to Charlotte’s new home.
So much had changed since their friendship. And upon discovering that Charlotte was likely behind this new disaster in her life, she felt as though her chest had turned cold. All the love she’d once harbored for her friend had disappeared in an instant.
“Alice!” Charlotte greeted heartily upon seeing her. “What a surprise to have you here. Come in.”
“This isn’t a mere social visit,” Alice muttered and turned as soon as they reached the modest drawing room. “And I won’t be staying long.” She used her stick to gesture at her friend. “Tell me once and for all what really happened at the picnic.”
“The picnic?” Charlotte laughed awkwardly. “Why are you asking me?”
“You know why.”
Charlotte folded her arms. “What has your husband been whispering in your ear? That I am a bad influence because I confronted him with the truth?”
“Frederick has said nothing against you. But I know.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “I know I did not drink too much. And that I begged you to let this go. I told you how I felt about him. And yet somehow I found myself unable to walk straight, unable to think, and everyone there thought I was drunk.” She met her friend’s gaze.
“The only other person to offer me a drink was you. So let me ask you again. What did you do?”
Charlotte’s nostrils flared. “It was never meant for you.”
“What was?”
“You deserve better than him. Do you know what he did, Alice? How much he hurt you?”
Alice laughed, bitter and hard. “Of course I know! And I know how much he has sought to put that right ever since. Now tell me. What did you do?”
Finally, Charlotte dropped her gaze. She pressed a hand to her face. “It’s an old recipe,” she muttered. “When ingested, it makes one appear drunk. Too much of it and… But I never put that much in! I never wanted to hurt you, Alice. I swear!”
Betrayal flashed through Alice. She had known, of course, but hearing it hurt worse than she could have imagined.
“But why?”
The corner of Charlotte’s mouth quivered as though she finally truly understood the magnitude of what she had done—and what she had destroyed.
“I had originally intended it for him. I thought we might plot together. Make a fool out of him together, just as you did when you first married him. But then you talked about happiness and forgiveness, and it made me so angry that you could forgive him after everything. And now everyone knows the truth. You deserve that. Your parents deserve that.”
“No.” Alice shook her head slowly, feeling as though she had been delivered a blow to the side of her head. She clung to this last thought with everything she had. “They don’t know the truth. Because if they did, they would know that not only have I forgiven my husband, but I love him.”
Shock slackened Charlotte’s face. “No,” she whispered. “How could you?”
But Alice was already storming back out of the house, forgetting to use her stick in her fury. It was only when she made it back to Fortuna that she realized how much mobility she had gained. Another reason to thank Frederick. She had too many to count in her present life.
“Alice, wait!” Charlotte appeared behind her, too small in the doorway to her townhouse. “You can’t leave like this. At least listen to what I have to say!”
“You did not listen to me,” Alice groused. “Now you can understand how that feels.”
Without another look back, she rode away.
Frederick had yet to find sleep when the adjoining door to Alice’s room creaked open.
He half sat up in bed as she limped through, wearing a nightgown that swallowed her slim frame hole.
Seduction was not her goal, then. She held a candle in her hand, and by its wavering light, he found determination in her face and resolve in her eyes.
He clamped his jaw tight together. He already knew how this conversation would go. She would make excuses and claim she didn’t do it, despite the evidence to the contrary, and he would be expected to keep the peace with her. Restore their good relationship. Come back to her bed.
Trust her again.
He didn’t know how he could. Hurt ate away at him every time he gave himself space to think. Guilt and shame for having believed that she could ever have forgiven him.
“What are you doing here at this time of night?” he demanded and tried to ignore the way she flinched. But cruelty was not in his nature, so he softened his voice. “I’ve had a long day, Alice.”
“I had no other chance to speak to you.” She perched at the end of the bed. “I didn’t speak against you, Frederick. And I didn’t get drunk. Charlotte confessed to putting something in my drink, and—”
He made an inarticulate sound. “A likely story. Perhaps I would be more inclined to believe you if you hadn’t already behaved in that way once.”
“Weeks ago! Things have changed since then—”
He pinched his nose. “Not enough, evidently. I don’t want to have this conversation with you, Alice.
Right now, I don’t think I can be around you.
You made me feel like a fool and look like a fool in the face of all of London.
” He cleared his throat before it went thick with the weight of his regret.
“In time, perhaps, I’ll forget I felt this way, but… ”
Her face was so pale.
She rose, and he noticed again that she hadn’t even brought her stick with her. He almost said something, but seeing her before him made him ache the way he had never known. A broken heart was not merely a feeling—his entire body revolted against the sensation. A physical pain he could not endure.
“I understand,” she whispered, so remote, it almost snapped him in two all over again. “I apologize for disturbing your rest, Your Grace.”
“Alice, I—”
The door closed behind her, and he closed his eyes, feeling like a wretch even though she had concocted the most ridiculous excuse to excuse her drinking.
If she had just confessed to it, he could have moved past it faster, but her continued denials made him feel more like the fool she had made him out to be.
He punched his pillow, turning over for another night of indifferent sleep and a life he no longer enjoyed.