Chapter 7
“Penny for your thoughts?” Parker asks, handing me a cup of coffee and lowering herself onto the bench beside me.
I tear my gaze away from Maggie as she runs around the playground in the kid’s area of Parker’s ranch.
While Maggie will never miss an opportunity to come here, she particularly loves it during winter when there are so many fun activities — from ice skating, to train rides on a makeshift Polar Express, to ornament making, and everything in between.
I take a sip of the robust coffee, relishing in its warmth. Then my eyes wander back to Maggie, and I watch her with a mixture of love and exhaustion.
“She’s so happy. Isn’t she?”
“The happiest. But that’s to be expected.” Parker nudges me. “She’s got a great mom.”
“I try to be, Parker. But it’s definitely not easy, especially lately. Don’t get me wrong,” I add quickly. “I’m grateful that you and Grandma Estelle are always willing to help with her whenever I need it.”
“Because we love that little girl. And you.”
“I know.” I exhale deeply, shaking my head. “But sometimes I feel so alone. Like no matter what I do, it’s not good enough.”
Parker wraps an arm around me and gives me a comforting squeeze. It’s moments like this that make me grateful for our friendship. I don’t know what I’d do without her. It’s a surprising thought, considering we barely knew each other a few years ago. I didn’t grow up in Sycamore Falls like Beckham and Parker did. My parents live in Lake Tahoe. The only reason I knew Beckham at all is because my nanny was good friends with his mother and would arrange play dates together.
Still, I fell in love with the small town feel here. When Maggie was born, there was only one place I wanted her to grow up. I wanted her to have the childhood I always wished I could have had. The childhood Beckham was lucky enough to have.
“I talked to him,” I announce after several protracted seconds.
Parker darts her eyes to mine, her brow furrowed. “Who?”
“Beckham. I asked about renting his townhouse.”
“What did he say?”
“What I expected him to. That his place is booked solid with all the snow bunnies coming here to ski. But then…”
“Yes?” Her gaze brims with anticipation.
I steal a glance at Maggie to make sure she’s not paying me any attention. Thankfully, she’s preoccupied with the other kids playing.
Leaning in even closer, I drop my voice. “He asked me to marry him.”
“He…what?” she shrieks.
I hush her, especially when several pairs of eyes look our way. Thankfully, most of the people are tourists with no interest in our conversation.
“Took me by surprise, too.”
“Aren’t people supposed to date before a proposal? At the very least, they have a hot and heavy one-night stand, then plan to never see each other again until those two little lines appear on a pregnancy test, at which point he proposes.” Her eyes widening, she sucks in a gasp. “Oh, my god. Did you sleep together? Are you pregnant?”
“Of course not!” I reply, hoping my face doesn’t betray me. “I haven’t slept with anyone since I learned I was pregnant with Maggie.”
“And you were giving me shit for not dating.” She rolls her eyes.
“It’s not that I don’t want to date. I just have other things to take into consideration now.”
“And yet you’re considering marrying Beckham Lawrence?” She arches a perfectly manicured eyebrow.
“No. Hell, I don’t know…” I push out a sigh.
“Why does he want to marry you?”
“He doesn’t want to marry me.”
“But you said?—”
“Grady is planning to sell the vineyard. Beckham made an offer, but Grady’s worried he’ll make the vineyard his life if he sold it to him.” I give her a knowing look, considering Parker can be accused of doing the same thing.
Since her parents passed away several years ago, she’s made Holley Ridge her life. Sunk all the life insurance money and her savings into transforming the barn into a wedding venue and building a luxurious inn to accommodate overnight guests. And then there’s the annual Christmas festival she puts on. I doubt she’s taken a single day off since her father died.
“So he wants him to get married?”
I shrug. “It appears so.”
“What are your thoughts on his proposition?”
“It’s definitely an attractive offer. Not only will he give me a place to live, but he’ll cover all my bills and put Maggie and me on his health insurance. I won’t have to worry about anything, so all the money I make?—”
“You can use to focus on your cake business.”
“Exactly.”
“And how long would this fake marriage last?”
“He’d like to stay married for at least six months after the sale is finalized so Grady doesn’t feel like he was tricked or lied to. We would be tricking him, but it’s for a good purpose, I suppose.”
“And Maggie?”
I shift my gaze forward, watching her pump her little legs as she swings back and forth, her auburn pigtails flying behind her.
“I can’t tell her the truth. She’d blab it all over the county. I probably shouldn’t even tell you, since this only works if the entire town believes we’re madly in love.”
“That won’t be a problem,” she snorts. “Pretty sure there’s a pool going for how much longer it’ll take before the two of you just bang it out already. You’d have to be blind not to see the chemistry between you two.”
“Maggie’s where it gets sticky,” I say, ignoring her remark. “It’s one thing if we only have to pretend to be married in public, but since I have a four-year-old, I can’t have her telling everyone that mommy’s only married so her fake husband can buy the winery. Which means she needs to believe it’s real. Which also means?—”
“She’ll believe it’s real when you split.”
I nod gravely. “The reason I didn’t go after paternity or support from her sperm donor is because I didn’t want Maggie to deal with that kind of rejection or abandonment. I’m not sure if I can put her through that.”
“Is it Maggie you’re worried about?” Parker narrows her gaze on me. “Or yourself?”
I should have known she’d see through my lies and uncover the truth I’ve been trying to hide for years.
That I’ve been trying to forget about for years.
Because she’s right.
It’s not only Maggie I’m worried about.
It’s me.
Or, more accurately, my heart.