Chapter 11
“Where should we start?” Haley asks after our server has taken our dinner orders.
As I expected, she tried to order pork, but all it took was one harsh glare from me, and she changed her order to the filet.
Years ago, I never could have imagined I’d be the one telling her to order the expensive meal at a nice restaurant. Haley grew up in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Lake Tahoe. To say she comes from a different world than me is an understatement. A fact I was forced to learn when I was eighteen, despite foolishly thinking it didn’t matter.
I was wrong.
And she paid the price.
“Start?” I repeat, taking another sip of wine.
“The whole getting married thing. Aren’t we here to make sure our stories line up?”
“Right. Of course.” I clear my throat, attempting to act as normal as possible.
Except there’s nothing normal about the way my body’s been reacting to Haley lately, especially tonight when I saw her round the corner into the lobby wearing a slim-fit black dress that has me wanting to gouge out the eyes of every man who looks at her any longer than I deem appropriate.
“We should probably start at the beginning,” she suggests, taking charge. “When was our first date?”
“A party at Kaplan Farm comes to mind.”
“So we’re doing that?”
“What?”
“Telling the truth,” she replies pointedly.
“It’s better than coming up with some lame story. Hell, the reason I asked you in the first place is because of our…history.”
She fidgets with her wine glass, not looking directly at me. “So we’re just going to tell people we had a secret fling years ago and are now getting married?”
“It’s a second chance love story. Don’t people love that shit?”
She gives me a quizzical look. “Have you been spending time with Grandma Estelle?”
“Why do you say that?”
“She’s an avid romance reader and second chance is a favorite. Along with monster romance.”
“Monster romance? You mean…”
“Exactly like it sounds.”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “It doesn’t matter how long I’ve known that woman. She still manages to surprise me every day.”
“Me, too.” A smile teases her mouth before her expression turns serious. “But let’s get back to our story. I just?—”
“Haley.” I place my hand over hers, the warmth of her flesh on mine sending desire spiraling through me.
I tell myself the only reason I’m brushing my thumb along her knuckles is to sell the idea of us as a couple. Not because I actually want to feel her skin on mine.
But it’s hard to ignore the rush of memories the feel of her hand against mine brings back — memories of the summer our paths crossed after years of not seeing each other. We spent every free minute we could together, often sneaking out in the middle of the night. And not simply so I could get laid. While I certainly loved that, too, I was just as happy holding her hand as we gazed at the stars together.
With the rest of my life feeling like it was falling apart around me, Haley was the one good thing in it.
Until I ruined that, too.
“Let’s not make this more complicated than it has to be,” I continue. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. You used to piss the shit out of me with your uppity attitude. And I irritated the hell out of you by constantly arguing with you, even when I knew you were right. Over the years, I continued picking arguments with you, not to prove something, but because I thought it was the only way I could get you to talk to me. Then I tricked you into giving me your first kiss because I hated the idea of you giving it to someone from that stuck-up private school you went to, so I said you could practice on me.”
I stare into the distance as I recall that particular day. I should have known once I had my first taste of Haley, nothing else would ever satisfy me again.
And nothing else has.
“I didn’t think you’d ever go for it,” I say around a chuckle, bringing my gaze back to her. “But you did. And that’s just one chapter of our story. Do you see what I’m saying? The truth is enough. It may not be pretty or full of heartfelt declarations. But I’ll take real any day over a bunch of lies.”
“Except this isn’t real,” Haley reminds me, pulling me back to reality.
I blink, suddenly aware of my hand still caressing hers, as if second nature. As if the last fourteen years never happened.
“I just meant that our story is already real.” I pull my hand away. “No need to make this more confusing than it has to be.”
She nods, a furrow creasing her brow, as if deep in thought. I’m convinced she’s about to reveal some earth-shattering truth or ask a question I don’t want to answer. Then she shakes it off, the same practiced smile I remember from her teenage years pulling on her lips, all poise and grace.
“What are your thoughts on the wedding?”
“At first, I was going to suggest Reno.”
Haley’s nose wrinkles in obvious disapproval, and I chuckle at her response.
“But I figured you wouldn’t like that idea,” I continue, “so I was thinking something small at the vineyard. Nothing flashy. If we want Grady to believe this is real, we should do something other than a quickie wedding at some cheesy chapel.”
“Agreed. Plus, if I’m only going to have one wedding, it may as well be something I can enjoy.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Why would you only have one wedding? If all goes according to plan, you’ll be free of me in around nine months. If Grady still doesn’t want to sell to me even after we’re married, you can be free of me in just a few weeks.”
The idea makes my stomach twist, but I remind myself it’s for the best. I may have convinced Haley to marry me, but it’s a marriage in name only. Nothing more. Hell, I keep waiting for her father to show up and remind me I’m not good enough for his daughter. That I’ll ruin her life.
Then again, he’d have to actually care about her.
I doubt he ever has.
“Most guys my age are looking to start their own family. Not have to settle for a used model, so to speak.”
“Guys your age are fucking idiots.”
“You’re my age,” she reminds me.
“Exactly. I’m a fucking idiot.”
“They say admitting it is the first step.” She winks.
“Then I’m on my way to recovery.”
A brief silence falls over the table, and I hesitate before asking the question that’s been on my mind since she accepted my offer.
“Have you told your parents?”
“No.”
“Are you going to?”
“Eventually. Maybe. I don’t know.”
“Don’t you think they’ll find out? It’s a small town.”
“They don’t live here. They’re in their own privileged world in Tahoe. Plus, I don’t really talk to them much. Apparently, having an unwed mother for a daughter looks bad on them, even though I was twenty-seven when I got pregnant. It’s not like I was fifteen or something. Still, they kept going on and on about what everyone would think, not even caring about what I was going through. All they cared about was how it might affect them.”
“Well, your parents are fucking idiots, too.”
This earns me a small laugh.
“What about your mom?” she asks after taking a sip of her wine. “And your brothers and sister?”
“What about them?”
“Do they know this isn’t real?”
“No. And they won’t. Except Jude. He knows.”
“And Parker’s the only one I told.”
“We should probably keep it that way. The fewer people who know, the better, especially with the way the gossip mill in this town works.”
“And you’re okay lying to your mom?” she asks. “Making her think this is real?”
“I don’t love it, but at least she’ll finally stop attempting to set me up with every woman who comes into the salon.”
Something flickers in Haley’s eyes, her mouth forming a tight line, but in only lasts a second before she fixes her expression once more.
“When should we plan to have the wedding?”
“You need to be out of your place by the end of January, right?”
She nods.
“We’ll need to do it before then. What’s your availability?”
“Now that I’m no longer working at the casino, I have more flexibility. I’ve picked up a few more dog walking clients from Angie, but I’m sure she’ll give me the day off for my wedding.”
“Okay.” I pull out my cell and navigate to my calendar. “The twenty-eighth might cut it close. What do you think about the twenty-first? We could start moving your stuff out sooner if you’d rather wait until the twenty-eighth. I don’t?—”
“No sense in waiting. May as well get it over with. The twenty-first is fine.”
“Okay,” I reply, although the way she makes it sound like she’s going in for some uncomfortable medical procedure stings.
But this is what we agreed to. A marriage in name only. Nothing more.
The more we act as if it’s merely a business transaction, the better off we’ll both be in the end.
And anytime I fool myself into thinking maybe it can be real, all I’ll have to do is look at her leg and see the scar that still runs the length of her thigh.
All because of me.