Chapter 10
10
T o say that the meeting with Alastair had been disappointing would be putting things mildly. Neil was still no closer to obtaining more information about his brother’s whereabouts than he had been when he had woken up this morning.
Despite the buzz in his head from the ale, he could not seem to shake off his irritation. He needed to have a clearer head or retire to his bed, lest he be even more tempted to seek out his wife and test her temper once again.
As irrational as it might be, he felt a nearly overwhelming urge to seek her out and demand answers from her that she was unlikely to have in the first place. She kept claiming to be just as shocked by Blaine’s disappearance as he was. Mostly, he wanted an excuse to lose himself in those big, blue eyes of hers. Perhaps that would steady him more.
The sky had darkened a few hours ago, and he trudged across the damp earth back up to his castle. Slowly, and with each heavy step, he slipped out of the role of concerned elder brother and into the role of Laird. A blanket of stars glittered over his head as he pushed open the front gates and walked into the empty courtyard.
The guards posted on the battlements nodded in his direction respectfully as he pulled a small bottle of whiskey out of his pocket and tossed it to the man waiting beside the door.
“For after yer shift, ye ken.” He winked, squeezing the man’s shoulder before stepping into the entrance hall.
Dinner had already been served, but that suited him just fine. He liked it when the castle was quiet like this, for it allowed his mind to wander—a tad too much, perhaps. But he had no other duties that he needed to perform. His age must be making him a sentimental fool.
He had learned all of these halls with his brother when they were knee-high to a grasshopper. As apart in age and opinion as they were, they were still close. To have the rug pulled from under him? It was like Jessica betraying him all over again. He couldn’t keep being so fundamentally wrong about those closest to him, or else he would have a hard time trusting people again.
Groaning, he rubbed a hand over his face and then ran it absently along the cool stone walls as he lazily walked toward his bedchamber. But the restlessness in his bones didn’t stop there. There were too many possibilities, too many options for him to consider, and he cared for none of them.
What if his brother had been kidnapped? But then Blaine wouldn’t have sent the letter himself. He was likely being held for ransom. Furthermore, if he was dead in a ditch somewhere… swindled or otherwise, it would be just that much harder to find him.
Neil wandered the halls to keep his mind active, only to pause by the entrance to the back gardens when he heard peals of laughter.
The archway that he lingered in framed the scene in front of him like a painting. His daughter and wife were lying on their backs, a thick tartan cloth spread out underneath them as they pointed up at the sky, moving their fingers as if they were tracing patterns in the bright lights overhead. Dinner lay around them—cold roast lamb with mint sauce, a selection of cheeses, fresh strawberries, and some buttery oatcakes—half-eaten and mostly forgotten, from the looks of it.
At least they seemed to be getting along well.
Neil so desperately wanted Ceana to be an easy part of his life. He knew that it was foolish to harbor false hope, but he did hope anyway.
“Did ye find Cassiopeia yet?” he asked.
Ceana turned onto her side at the sound of his voice, and the new position squeezed her breasts together rather prettily. Her face flushed a pretty pink the moment she noticed what he was looking at, but she didn’t roll onto her back again.
Jeanie, however, did not show the same hesitation. She jumped up to her feet, clutched her skirts in her hand, and ran right over to him.
It always took him off guard when she seemed so pleased to see him.
She grabbed his hand from where it had been resting on the pommel of his sword and tugged on it. It was so strange because she had never seemed so excited to see him before. Usually, their meetings were brief and awkward, filled with her yawns as she pushed chess pieces around the board without any real strategy.
Try as he might to spark her interest in such things, she seemed fundamentally opposed to them.
But she had certainly bonded with Ceana very quickly.
“Faither! Come! Ye are just in time!” she cried, pulling at his fingers until he pushed off the wall and allowed her to lead him to the picnic they had set up. He was careful not to mess it up with his large boots before awkwardly lowering himself onto the corner of the tartan.
Jeanie pushed her goblet of juice toward him, but he declined it with a headshake. She offered him a bit of cheese instead, but he could not properly pay attention to her when Ceana was looking up at him like that. She sat up and spread her skirts around her legs.
Why was he so obsessed with every movement she made? He would have to blame it on the drink. That was all. It tended to make him a little aroused.
“It was a long day gettin’ familiar with me new home. I asked Jeanie to join me so we could relax for a moment. I hope that’s all right with ye, M’Laird.”
Neil tilted his head, feeling the accusation in her tone. He opened his mouth to respond, but Jeanie beat him to it.
“Of course, it’s all right! We’re friends!” she declared firmly, expecting him to agree with her.
Neil could not think of a reason to deny her claim, least of all when Ceana’s pretty blue eyes were trained on him.
The declaration itself took him aback.
Jeanie had never asked him about her mother. If she had asked any of her maids, then they hadn’t told him about it either. She had never asked what her mother looked like or what sort of person she was. Which suited him just fine.
She knew that her mother had died in childbirth, as that could be very dangerous. But seeing her now with Ceana made him realize just how badly she needed a mother figure in her life.
Unlike the way she was with him, Ceana was softer and kinder to Jeanie, who seemed to hang on her every word and movement, copying her every chance that she got. She even adjusted her posture when Ceana moved.
“Aye, it is all right,” Neil agreed. “I dinnae wish to interrupt yer sky gazin’.”
“Nay! Ye must join us, Faither! Please watch the stars with us?” Jeanie pleaded. “Right, Ceana?”
Neil arched an eyebrow. He certainly did not need permission from his wife to go where he pleased in his own castle.
And yet Ceana was smiling, pleased as anything as she nodded. “Of course, it is all right. Ye must, M’Laird.”
That glint in her eyes was going to be his undoing, he could tell.
Jeanie grinned as she lay back down, and then she started recounting all of the things they had seen over the day. She mentioned everything they had eaten and how she and Ceana had snuck into the kitchens and stolen sweets before coming out here to spend their evening. She then added how she was certain that her nurse had given up searching for her.
Neil had never heard her speak so much at once. She seldom spoke to him about anything when they played chess. He must have done a good job of choosing a suitable companion for her if she was feeling comfortable enough to speak so easily around her.
“Och! Faither!” Jeanie exclaimed, turning to face them. “Fiona was tellin’ us about the festival in the village tomorrow, and Ceana said that the festivals in the village are so much fun! Can I go?”
“Did she now?”
Jeanie nodded. “She said that there would be dancin’ and food and singin’ and that all of the children from the village were goin’ to come out and play! I want to play with other children me age! I can show off me new dancin’ skills!”
“Aye, ye can.” Ceana grinned. “And ye can tell them all about the stars that we have seen tonight!”
Neil leaned back on his elbow as he watched the pair of them speaking without wholly registering what it was that they were talking about. Just seeing them smiling at one another was enough.
Jeanie got along with her maids well enough, but she liked to give them a run for their money every chance that she could get. To see her so excited about the littlest things? He envied Ceana because of her ability to speak with children so easily. He only interjected when it was necessary, but for the most part, he was content to only listen.
Ceana, however, was happy to converse with Jeanie as if he were not there at all. He supposed that made sense, seeing how their last few conversations had gone.
If she wanted to be stubborn about it, then that was her own business.
“Why are ye and Faither only talkin’ to me but nae to each other?” Jeanie asked as if she was reading his mind.
How did children always seem to know the most uncomfortable thing to say, and blurt it out as well?
Neil glanced in Ceana’s direction, clearing his throat in an attempt to buy himself some time before answering such a strange question. He had not been expecting to be called out by his daughter like that.
“Och, I ken!” Jeanie exclaimed happily. “Ye’re both shy!”
She nearly toppled over as she dissolved into a fit of giggles at about the same time Fiona, her nursemaid, appeared in the archway with her hands on her hips.
Neil had certainly never been called shy before. He did not think he cared for it. Nor the sly little grin on Ceana’s lips, for that matter.
“Ah, there’s Cassiopeia!” he noted, hoping his daughter would be distracted enough to forget the topic entirely. It was one of the only constellations that could be seen in Scotland year-round.
Fiona tutted and cleared her throat loudly right when Jeanie started yawning dramatically and stretched her arms over her head. Not once, but twice.
“I think I am tired,” she announced suddenly, looking very pointedly between Ceana and Neil. “Ye should stay and watch the stars!” She nodded sagely. “Both of ye! So that ye can tell me all about them tomorrow! Otherwise, I’ll have to stay up all night!”
The lass rose to her feet, yawned dramatically again, and then kissed Ceana on the cheek once before quickly running over to Fiona—who would no doubt scold her later—leaving Neil with his wife.