13. Beautiful Mess
thirteen
Beautiful Mess
Brandi startled at the sound of Mikey’s voice calling for her from somewhere beyond the bathroom door. Unsuccessfully conquered emotion swirled to the surface, clogging her throat. She sat in the soaker tub, the water up to her chin, and tried once again to shake the reflexive fear that the confrontation with her father had triggered.
Her father ruined everything. He always had. She didn’t want him to ruin what she’d only just started building with Mikey.
Mikey knocked on the door. “You better be fucking alive in there.”
Brandi wiped at her face one final time. “I’m in the bath,” she called out. He didn’t reply right away and she assumed he’d simply accepted her answer as what it was. She let her eyes close and tried once more to relax.
The quiet sound of rustling fabric caught her attention just a heartbeat before Mikey’s much-closer-than-before voice cursed, “Christ, this water’s fucking cold. Are you trying to get pneumonia?”
Her eyes snapped open to find him kneeling beside her, fingers dipped into the bathwater and a frown etched onto his handsome face. “Mikey!”
He didn’t even smirk. “Cris said you were in one of the rooms when he came in to get me a change of clothes earlier. That was almost an hour ago, Brandi. Have you been in this water the entire time?”
Her eyes managed to widen and she cast a worried look to the bathroom door he’d left open. “You could at least have closed the—”
Mikey huffed, grabbed the chain at the bottom of the tub, and yanked the plug from the drain. “They’re gone. They left twenty minutes ago, which you’d know if your phone wasn’t next to the bed instead of with you.”
She felt extremely confused. He’d been talking about going out, she presumed to take part in the execution of her father, and now he was talking like he was staying home. Brandi ignored the swirling, draining water and the way her skin grew even more chilled as it became exposed to the air. “Wh-what he said, it’s n-not true,” she stammered. “I didn’t t-tell him—”
Mikey cursed again and pulled her completely from the tub. “I told you, Brandi, I know. I believe you. You don’t need to make excuses or apologize for that piece of shit, not to me and not ever again.” He brushed away the strands of hair that had fallen free of her sloppy bun. “Fuck, you’re shivering. What the hell were you thinking?” He grabbed the soft towel she’d set out for herself and wrapped it around her shoulders before rubbing his hands over her arms and back.
She held on to the towel, the cold seeping into her consciousness as his hands moved over her. “H-he … ruins everything,” she whispered.
Mikey paused and cupped her face, heedless of her wet skin. “He didn’t ruin this. And now he can’t.”
Brandi stared at him, feeling as if she heard his words in slow motion. Her father’s final attempt to destroy a thing she had found for herself had failed, maybe for the first time. He had failed so spectacularly that he was gone—her father was gone—forever. She wasn’t sure which was harder to believe.
She didn’t realize she had dropped the towel until Mikey’s gaze drifted down.
Then his touch.
“You’re still fucking cold, kitten.”
She was. In all the places he wasn’t touching her. “Mikey…”
His fingers trailed over her breasts, dragging across her nipples. “Damn. Look at these beautiful tits.”
Brandi reached up and pressed his hands more directly over her boobs. “Don’t just look,” she said, hearing the plea in her own voice. “Touch. Please.”
Mikey palmed her breasts, his fingers stretching and sliding against the skin. “Is this how you want me to warm you up? Because this is going to require we change locations.”
“Can we, please—not the den this time?” If he insisted on going down to the den, she wouldn’t fight him. But she was desperate for something more intimate and spacious than a sofa.
He rolled both thumbs over her nipples and leaned close. “We’d never make it that far before I pushed you against some flat surface and fucked you senseless. Although the attempt could be fun.” He swept his hands around her torso, to her back, and kissed her deeply. If he cared that she was still more than a little wet from the bath, he didn’t let on. Instead, he groaned and sank his fingers into her ass cheeks. “I could fuck you right on this vanity, but that wouldn’t warm you up.”
Brandi opened her mouth to tell him that all she needed was his touch, but already he was stepping away and taking her hand.
“Let’s find somewhere better.” He grabbed a second towel on his way out of the bathroom and led her through the attached bedroom without pausing. They crossed the hall space, into his room, where Mikey pulled her forward before reaching back to shut the door.
Brandi was drinking in the dark wood tones and large four-poster bed when Mikey triggered whatever recessed lighting he had tucked away in the ceiling trim. The light bathed the room in a warm glow far preferable to whatever might have been offered by the one-sided glare of a bedside lamp. She nearly caught a toe on the rug that covered a portion of the floor beneath the bed.
“Stand there,” Mikey said. He shook out the towel and dropped to his knees, wasting no time tucking the soft material around one of her legs. “Let’s warm you up so you stop shivering.”
She really felt like an idiot. Yet, at the same time, it was hard to be anything other than flattered with the way Mikey was attentively rubbing the towel against her skin.
“Have you ever practiced bondage?” Mikey asked as he swiftly flipped the towel around her opposite thigh and resumed his ministrations.
The question jarred Brandi out of her odd haze. “What?”
“Any variation,” he said, as if it were an ordinary question. “I’m just curious about your experience level.”
It took her brain a moment to re-engage enough for her to answer. “I … I kind of purposefully got my hands tangled up once,” she confessed, “but that ended up being awkward and not really working too well.” Nor was it a story she felt like reliving in this moment.
Mikey ran the towel around her abdomen as he stood, dipped it beneath and between her breasts, then carefully out and down each arm one at a time. As he started on her arms, he asked, “Does that mean you’d be interested in trying something a bit more intentional ?”
Her breath faltered. She was definitely no longer cold by the time he moved the towel behind her head and patted the edges of her hair, where she’d failed to keep it entirely dry. “What did you have in mind?”
The blue of his eyes burned as he stared back at her. “We could start with tying your arms together, getting you used to the restricted movement.”
“Start…?” She remembered him telling her to hold tightly to the sofa before. It had surprised her how readily she’d complied, and how much she’d enjoyed surrendering control.
Mikey dropped the towel to the floor. “Eventually I’ll have you strapped up to that bed, completely at my mercy and begging for my cock. Maybe we’ll stash silk ropes in a bunch of other rooms in the house, just to make sure we can play whenever we want.” He trailed his fingers over her sides, raising goosebumps along her skin. “But that won’t happen overnight.”
She trembled at the gentle sweep of his thumbs. “And if I don’t like it?” She probably would. She’d wanted to at least properly try being tied up and thoroughly fucked, and been sorely disappointed with her ex’s lackluster response.
“That’s what your safe word is for,” Mikey reminded her. He moved a hand to her chin, gripping firmly. “Say it if you need it. But be honest with yourself, don’t give in to a momentary discomfort.”
Brandi licked her lips and reached out, teasing the buttons of his shirt. “I want to try.”
He grinned, caught her hand, and brought her knuckles to his lips. “Good girl.” He released her to start work removing his clothing and tilted his head toward the large bed. “Go pull the blankets down, as low as you can. No sense ruining them.”
She had kind of wanted to watch him strip, but she also really wanted to get to the part where he made her scream in ecstasy. So she nodded and turned toward the bed. “Yes, sir,” she said as she walked. She made sure to put a little extra sway in her hips, too. Just in case he wasn’t as worked up yet as she was.
Mikey growled low. “Fuck, that ass looks even better naked. I’m gonna fuck that, too, one day.”
Brandi fumbled the comforter, heat lashing through her. Was that something she wanted? She took a deep breath, resuming the important process of sparing the bedding, and said, “One new experience at a time, please.”
Mikey chuckled. “Since you said please.”
She had the blankets entirely off the bed when Mikey emerged from his walk-in closet carrying something black and almost shiny. He paused by the side of the bed, pressing a button she hadn’t seen, and the ornamental tops of the bed posts flipped over to reveal anchor bars just large enough for something like sheets of ribbon or rope to slide through.
“Arms over your head, kitten,” Mikey instructed as he knelt onto the mattress. “Reach toward me.”
Brandi eyed him for a moment, appreciating her first eye-full of his naked form, before leaning back and clasping her hands above her head. Her fingers grazed his knee and for just a second, she thought about misbehaving. She couldn’t believe she’d never once touched him there.
Mikey tucked her hands around her own forearms and began winding something soft like silk along her skin. Soon her arms were tied together, not so tight as to be uncomfortable but definitely too tightly for her to simply slide them apart, and she felt him tug momentarily at the bindings as if he were pulling on an attached string. Or tying the end to the nearest bedpost. Then he slipped a pillow behind her shoulders, offering her arms some extra support, and moved into her line of sight once more. “How does that feel?”
Brandi let herself reflect on it for a beat, trying to let the strangeness settle. “Different,” she said, “but not bad. I’m okay.”
He nodded. “You should have a little leeway with the post, but if it pulls too tight, tell me. The point isn’t pain.”
She grinned at him. “I thought pain was part of the whole BDSM thing?”
His brow furrowed and he reached out to trail his fingers down the length of her throat and down, between her breasts. He moved slowly enough that she was breathing unsteadily by the time he got to her stomach. “That’s a kind of BDSM. It’s not all one thing. Inflicting pain isn’t a sexual experience for me, and the last thing I want to do is make it one.”
She supposed she could see that perspective. “I don’t really crave pain,” she said honestly. “I just want…” Her voice trailed as she realized that she didn’t know how to articulate what she wanted.
Mikey’s fingers curved over her hip and he leaned close, running his nose along her jaw. “What is it you want, kitten? Tell me.”
Brandi turned her head to catch his lips and he retreated, his fingers gliding across her skin to circle her navel. She blew out a frustrated breath. “Release,” she said. “I just want to let go and for everything to still be all right.”
He smiled. “Very good.” His hand moved up, taking hold of one breast as he hovered over her lips again. “Give me your trust, and I’ll give you what you want.”
Brandi whined, reflexively trying to reach for him to pull him closer. Of course, her arms held fast to their bound position.
Mikey was generous and closed the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth while his hand kneaded her breast. He kissed her deeply, hungrily, as if they hadn’t kissed in days. As if this was more than sex. Then he pulled away and dropped down, capturing her neglected nipple with his mouth and tongue. It was delightful torture and Brandi moaned beneath him.
He didn’t linger there, releasing her chest entirely and sitting up to position himself over her. “Spread your legs,” he said, voice rough. “Let me get another look at that pussy.”
Brandi arched her back and widened her legs as much as she could, eager to surrender her body to him once more.
Mikey groaned and dragged his hands to her thighs, holding them in place. “Look at you, so fucking wet for me.” He swept two fingers through her folds, drawing a sharp gasp from her, and held them up so she could see the way they glistened. “I fucking love seeing what I do to you.” He reached down with that same hand and swirled his fingers around his length. “Watch me, Brandi. Do you see what you do to me? Do you see how goddamn hard I am for you?”
She could see, and she swore she could feel her body heating up in anticipation. “Yes,” she whispered. “I can see how hard you are, sir.” She licked her lips. “Please … please fuck me. Sir.”
He grunted and rocked forward, his tip pressing against her entrance. “I’m going to do so much more than fuck you.” He pushed the full length of his cock inside her, then, and growled as she gasped. Then he hauled her legs up to his shoulders, moved his hands to her hips, and let loose.
Brandi cried out as Mikey drilled into her, hardly able to move and absolutely loving it. Her back arched, her toes curled, and his teeth closed over her bouncing nipple in the faintest sting of unexpected pain.
It felt like no time at all before she was riding on the edge of oblivion.
“I want you to come for me, Brandi,” Mikey breathed, his lips sliding against her skin. “Come now.”
His words, and the press of his fingers combined with the angle of his hips, unlocked the thing inside her that had held her in check. Her body shook with the force of the orgasm that burst through her in blistering waves, her arms straining again to reach for him. The fact that she couldn’t, and yet he was still right there with her, was significantly more reassuring than she might have expected.
Mikey rocked with her, slowing but never ceasing his movements as he helped her ride it out. His hands swept over her skin, caressing and squeezing, as his lips found new places to kiss and suck. When she began to return to her senses, he pulled her legs from his shoulders and pushed to his knees, using his hands at her hips again to hold her where he wanted her. “You come so pretty,” he said, his voice rougher than usual. “I’m gonna need to see it again.” He slammed a little harder into her core. “Need to make a fucking mess out of you, kitten.”
Fresh heat coursed through her and Brandi gasped, her eyes threatening to roll back in her head. She should have been much too sensitive so soon after release.
Mikey rolled his hips at a slightly altered angle as he thrust into her again, his cock sliding against new, aching pleasure points deep inside her. He obviously noticed the way she shook and arched, because he did it again.
“S-sir, more, please!” Tears leaked from her eyes as she strained to keep up with him, her body burning and singing all at once.
Mikey leaned over her, his breath hot against her skin. “Such a good girl, letting me know how much you enjoy yourself on my cock.” The tension in her arms slackened. She felt his fingers dig into her hair. “You’ve got such a greedy little pussy. It’s already clamping down on me again.” He sucked briefly on the skin beneath her jaw. “Should I give you what you want? Are you ready for me to fill that greedy pussy?”
“Yes,” she gasped, her body rolling to meet his thrusts. She couldn’t remember ever having burned so hot. Her body felt as though she might implode, simply fall apart at the seams, if he didn’t bring her over again.
Mikey growled into the groove of her throat and his strokes deepened as he shifted his weight to the other arm. “Say that again,” he instructed, his lips a hair’s breadth from her skin. He moved his free hand between them and laid two fingers over her clit, letting the motion of their bodies do most of the work.
Her breath caught in her throat for a precious second. “Y-yes!”
“Louder.” He twisted his fingers in the opposite direction, intensifying the pleasure. “Fucking scream it, kitten.” His cock hit the perfect spot as his gruff tone vibrated down her ears, and Brandi let go.
She barely felt the scream as her body jolted, the explosion she’d felt building within her bursting out of her in an almost violently euphoric release. She’d never felt anything more satisfying. It wasn’t until her arms came loose, the release of the ties at her forearms triggering a release of tension in her shoulders, that Brandi even realized Mikey had followed her over the edge that time.
She hadn’t properly caught her breath when he lifted her completely and rolled from the bed without setting her down. “Wh-what—”
Mikey bent down and kissed her, his tongue sweeping leisurely into her mouth and lingering before retreating again. “If we didn’t both have to work tomorrow, or maybe if we didn’t still have a wedding night to look forward to this week, I’d keep you tied to that bed and impaled on my cock until one of us collapsed.”
Even as excitement coursed through her at the prospect, Brandi’s protesting muscles shrieked their appreciation of his current decision. The closest she’d ever come to marathon sex in the past was watching porn. Her own prior experiences were considered positive if she orgasmed on the same night as she went to bed with a partner. So three in one afternoon, even if the first had been a few hours earlier, was a lot for her. Certainly the vast improvement kind, but nonetheless a lot .
Mikey slid her down to her feet in the bathroom and twisted on the shower, all the while keeping one arm around her waist. His gaze burned in the best way when he looked her over again. “That was sexy as fuck, you squirting all over me like that.” His lips lifted in a dangerous smirk as a different heat burned her cheeks. “I look forward to doing that again.”
Brandi gaped at him, scrambling to follow his words. “I— I did what?”
He walked them under the already warmed shower spray and trailed his fingers down, over her hips, dipping teasingly between her legs. “You squirted. You know what that is, don’t you?”
“Of course I know what it is.” Brandi latched onto his arm just to keep herself upright, the truth whispering out of her. “I’ve just never done it before.” Holy crap… That had to have been why that last orgasm had felt so much better. So much hotter. But she wasn’t stupid, either. That meant she’d made a very literal mess, too.
Mikey tugged her close, folding his arms around her as the water sluiced over their bodies. “Relax, kitten. It’s a good thing.” He slid one hand up, making her realize that he’d already freed her hair from the hair tie she’d had it in. “It’s a fucking beautiful thing. I was dead serious about doing it again.”
She swallowed her startled reflex and finally let her fingers stretch over his skin. “But it’s … messy.”
He lowered his lips to her ear. “Some messes are worth it.”
Brandi floated through the rest of their cleanup, from his tender touch to the soft kiss he placed on the side of her neck and even the way he tucked her into one of his shirts once they were dry again. Her mind appreciated the sight he made in his low-hung sweatpants, but her body was too sated to work up the appropriate response. He did most of the work making the bed ready for sleep, designating her to wind up and put away the silk bindings. She suspected he wanted her to get used to them, to touch them and see them, and maybe to see that he had a few other interesting options in the hidden panel he’d indicated.
Sunday night was the first night she spent in Mikey’s bed. His scent surrounded her as she drifted to sleep. His arms were folded around her when she pried her eyes open the next morning.
Silence settled back into the room in the wake of the blaring alarm. Mikey didn’t take his stare off her, his eyes burning with a familiar heat. “Good morning,” he murmured. His voice was thick with fading sleep and something she wasn’t nearly too tired to think about.
Brandi smiled and tried to ignore the way her heart flipped. “Good morning.”
Mikey slid one hand beneath the hem of her shirt, anchoring it over her butt, and used the angle of his arm to hold her close as his other hand reached for hers. “Might have to start waking up earlier so I can eat before we go down for breakfast.”
She heard herself giggle as if she were detached from her own body. It was surreal.
Before she could actually respond, Mikey lifted her arm and stroked his thumb gently across her skin. “Let me look at your arms before we get up.” He gave her butt a squeeze before releasing it to bring both her arms between them to see properly.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, watching him gingerly run his fingers across her skin.
“No,” he said after a moment. His gaze returned to hers and he leaned in, stealing a kiss and hauling them both upright. “I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t tied you too tight last night.”
The breath shuddered from her. All Brandi could do was follow his lead to begin getting ready for the day, her heart already racing too wildly. This wasn’t what she’d expected. When she had agreed to marry him, she had genuinely thought they would feel more like roommates for a year, that she might have to make a concentrated effort to remember to sign her new name and she’d probably be disheartened to have to go back to the old one when it was done. Above all, she’d taken the dissolution of the marriage as a foregone conclusion. It would be a strange, ultimately brief, adventure from which she may emerge a little safer.
All of those certainties were flashing neon question marks in her mind now.
It didn’t feel like she was on the verge of a paper marriage. It didn’t feel like she was gaining a roommate. It felt like she had done a swan dive into a brand new, full-throttle relationship. Part of her was afraid to stay in the water, afraid to risk getting her heart broken, yet at the same time the sensation of leaning back and letting the water have its way with her was unspeakably freeing.