Chapter 6
The ride home was quiet. Like, library-during-finals-week quiet.
I sat in the passenger seat of the massive black SUV, my hands folded neatly in my lap, clutching my empty Hello Kitty lunchbox.
I peeked at the driver's seat.
Gabriel—my... husband?!—was driving with one hand.
Just one! His left hand was resting on the steering wheel, and his right hand was resting on the gear stick.
He looked so cool. Like an action star in a movie where things explode in the background, but he doesn't look back because cool guys don't look at explosions.
But he was also very scary.
I gulped.
Husband.
I tested the word in my brain. Husband. Hubby. Hubster. The Man I Legally Belong To.
I looked down at my hands. I didn't have a ring yet, but I could feel the ghost of the pen in my fingers. I signed the paper! I dotted the 'i' with a heart! That makes it legally binding forever and ever, right? That means... oh my gosh.
I am a wife.
I am nineteen years old, and I am a wife.
My face heated up. I quickly looked out the window so he wouldn't see me blushing.
Biology.
I squeezed my thighs together. It's just biology! Next week, I have to perform my wifely duties. It's the Circle of Life! Just like in The Lion King, except instead of a cute lion, I have a scary billionaire who wants to conquer the world with his offspring.
"Uhm... Mr. Gabriel?" I whispered, breaking the silence. "I mean... Hubby?"
His knuckles on the steering wheel turned white. I saw a vein pop in his forehead.
"Do not," he said, his voice low and dangerous, "call me that."
"But it's true!" I reasoned, leaning toward him (but not too close because he radiates intimidating energy). "I signed the paper! With my pink pen! That means we are partners! We are a team! Like Batman and Robin! But I want to be Batman because I like the cape."
"We are not a team," he said flatly. "This is a merger. You are the acquisition."
"An acquisition is still part of the company!" I chirped. "So... are you going to come inside? My Mommy makes the best Pot Roast! And Daddy is probably home! You should meet your in-laws! It's polite!"
"No," he said.
"Oh." I pouted. "Okay. But you have to meet them eventually! They will be surprised that I am suddenly a Mrs.!"
"The contract is filed," he said, tapping the breast pocket of his blazer where the folded paper—my marriage certificate!—was tucked away. "That is sufficient."
"But—"
"We are here."
The SUV slowed down and turned smoothly toward my gate.
Seeing his shiny, expensive, tank-like car parked in front of my bright yellow, happy little house was a weird sight. It looked like a spaceship had landed in a cartoon village.
He put the car in park. The locks clicked open.
"Go," he commanded. "You have seven days. Do not waste them."
I unbuckled my seatbelt. "Okay! I will prepare! I will pack my clothes! And my plushies! And I will meditate to lower my cortisol so we can make the heir efficiently!"
I reached for the door handle.
"Wait."
I froze. "Yes?"
Gabriel reached into the center console of the car. He pulled out a small, black velvet box.
He tossed it at me.
Tossed it! Like it was a stress ball!
I fumbled to catch it. Juggle, juggle, catch!
"Whoa!" I breathed out. I opened the box.
I think I went blind for a second.
Inside the box was a ring. But calling it a ring felt like an insult. It was a rock, sitting on a silver band that looked way too delicate to hold such a heavy thing. It sparkled so hard it hurt my eyes.
"Is this... my wedding ring?" I squeaked.
"It is," Gabriel said, looking at his watch. "Wear it. It signals ownership. It tells the world you are no longer available."
Ownership? Like a dog collar?
I took the ring out. It was heavy! I slipped it onto my ring finger. It was a little loose, so it spun around, the heavy diamond dragging it down so the stone was facing my palm.
"It fits... kind of!" I wiggled my fingers. "Thank you! It's very... shiny! And heavy! I can use this as a paperweight! Or a weapon! If a bad guy comes, I can just punch him and—BAM!—diamond to the forehead!"
Gabriel looked at me. He looked tired. Like, emotionally exhausted.
"Just get out of the car, Aleesha."
"Okay! Bye, Gabriel! See you in a week, Husband! Drive safe! Don't text and drive!"
I scrambled out of the SUV. I slammed the heavy door shut.
VROOOOOM.
He didn't even wait for me to wave! He just stepped on the gas and the black beast roared away, disappearing down the street in seconds.
I stood there on the sidewalk, clutching my lunchbox in one hand and wearing a diamond the price of a small island on the other.
"Okay," I exhaled, puffing out my cheeks. "Step One: Completed. I am married. Step Two: Tell Mommy and Daddy that I accidentally got married to a billionaire."
I gulped.
This was going to be harder than the hacking.
★
I opened the gate. Creak.
I walked to the front door. I could smell it from here—thyme, rosemary, gravy. Roast! Yes! My comfort food!
"Mommy! Daddy! I'm home!" I shouted, kicking off my doll shoes and sliding my feet into my fluffy pink bunny slippers.
"In the kitchen, honey!" Daddy's voice boomed.
I walked into the kitchen.
It was a warm, cozy mess. Mommy was setting the table, placing plates with flower patterns on them. Daddy was sitting at the head of the table, wiping sweat from his forehead with a towel. He looked tired from his side hustle, his t-shirt stained with a little bit of paint or dirt.
"Hi, sweetie," Mommy smiled, putting a spoon down. "How was the dinner with... what was his name? Mr. Samuels?"
"Did you get the grade?" Daddy asked, looking up. "Did you show him your quiz scores?"
I stood in the doorway. Primrose, my beautiful golden retriever, trotted over to me.
Woof.
"Hi, Prim," I whispered, patting her head. "Mommy is about to scream. Be ready."
I took a deep breath.
Law 48 of Power (Aleesha's Version): Rip the band-aid off quickly!
"So!" I started, clasping my hands together (hiding the ring for a second). "The dinner was... interesting! Mr. Samuels wasn't there."
"He wasn't?" Mommy frowned. "Then who did you have dinner with?"
"Well," I rocked back and forth on my heels. "I had a meeting. With a different man. A very... tall... handsome... scary man."
Daddy stopped drinking his water. He put the glass down slowly. "A man?"
"Yes!" I nodded fast. "And we talked. About... biology. And genetics. And economics! Very smart topics!"
"Aleesha," Mommy put her hands on her hips. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying..." I squeezed my eyes shut. "I'm saying that I got the A! Mr. Samuels is going to give me an A! And I'm going to graduate! And I'm going to be rich!"
"Rich?" Daddy stood up. "Sweetie, did you join a pyramid scheme? Did you sell vitamins online?"
"No!" I opened my eyes. "Better! I joined a... marriage!"
I raised my left hand.
I let the light from the kitchen bulb hit the rock.
SHING! SPARKLE! BLING!
The diamond practically screamed. It spun on my finger, catching the light and throwing rainbows onto the ceiling.
"I AM MARRIED!" I yelled. "I SIGNED THE PAPER! I AM A WIFE!"
Silence.
Absolute, vacuum-sealed silence.
Mommy stared at the ring. Daddy stared at the ring. Primrose stared at the roast chicken.
Mommy's eyes rolled back. Her hand went to her forehead.
"Oh my God..." she whispered.
And then... THUMP.
Mommy fainted.
"MARIA!" Daddy shouted, catching her just before she hit the floor. "Maria! Wake up!"
"MOMMY!" I screamed, dropping my lunchbox. "Don't die! I'm married, not buried!"
We spent the next ten minutes fanning Mommy with a placemat and dabbing water on her face. Finally, she groaned and opened her eyes.
"I had a terrible nightmare," she mumbled. "I dreamt Aleesha was married to a disco ball."
"It's not a nightmare, Mommy!" I said, holding up my hand again. "Look! It's real! I signed the contract! With my glitter pen! I dotted the 'i' with a heart!"
Mommy sat up abruptly on the chair. She grabbed my hand and inspected the ring. Her eyes widened.
"This is..." She gasped. "Is this glass?"
"It's a diamond, Mommy!" I said proudly. "It can cut glass! I tried it on the car window... just a little scratch!"
"Who?!" Daddy demanded, his face red. "Who is this husband?! Is it that boy Ian? From down the street? I will kill him! You are nineteen!"
"No, Daddy!" I laughed. "Ian can't afford this! Ian borrows money for lunch!"
"Then who?" Mommy asked, trembling.
"His name is Gabriel," I said, my voice getting dreamy. "Gabriel Muratori."
Daddy froze. He frowned, his eyebrows bunching together in confusion.
"Muratori?" Daddy repeated, looking at Mommy. "Who is that? Is he Italian? Is he a tourist?"
"I've never heard that name," Mommy whispered, looking terrified. "Aleesha, did you marry a foreigner you met on the internet?"
"No!" I shook my head. "He lives here! Well, at the Velour Noir! On the 100th floor!"
"The Velour Noir?" Daddy's eyes bulged. "That is the most expensive building in the city! No one lives there except... except ghosts and billionaires!"
"Exactly!" I beamed. "He is a billionaire! And he is very mysterious! He picked me up in a tank! I mean, a big black car! And he has men in suits! He owns everything, Daddy!"
"A mystery man?" Mommy gripped my arm. "Aleesha, is he a criminal? Is he a drug lord?"
"No!" I gasped. "Well... he has tattoos. A snake on his neck. And he doesn't smile. And he treats people like numbers... wait."
I paused.
"Maybe?" I whispered to myself. "That would explain the security... and the scary vibes... and the fact that he tossed a diamond at me like it was a potato."
"Oh my god," Mommy wailed. "My baby married a gangster?"
"He's not a gangster!" I insisted. "He's a businessman! He wears a suit! Gangsters wear leather jackets! It's different!"
"Why did he marry you?" Daddy asked, his voice shaking. "We have no money. We have nothing to give him."
"He needs an heir!" I blurted out. "That's the deal! I give him a baby, and he gives me... the world! And I am the best candidate! I am smart, I am healthy, and I am... well, I am me!"
"He wants a baby?!" Mommy shrieked. "You are a baby!"
"I am nineteen!" I argued. "And I can fix him, Mommy! I can bring sunshine into his dark, sad, gray penthouse! Even if he says he doesn't need it. Even if he throws cigarettes into the fire and looks like he wants to murder the world... he ate my rice ball!"
I grabbed Mommy's hands.
"He ate the onigiri! That means he has a soul!"
Mommy looked at Daddy. Daddy looked at Mommy. They looked at the giant ring on my finger that was probably worth more than our entire house.
Daddy sighed. It was a deep, defeated sigh.
"You are already married?" he asked softly. "You signed the paper?"
"Yes, Daddy," I whispered. "I am Mrs. Muratori."
"And you have to leave?"
"In one week," I said. "He gave me one week to pack. Then... then I move in."
"Oh, my sweet, naive angel," Mommy cried, pulling me into a hug. "You are going to walk into a lion's den with a smile on your face."
"No, I won't!" I muffled into her shoulder. "I have claws! And I have the 48 Laws of Power! And I have my pink pen!"
"God help us," Daddy muttered, looking at the ceiling as if asking why the universe gave him such a chaotic daughter. He reached over and hugged us both.
★
Later that night, I was in my room.
I was wearing my favorite pajamas—yellow ones with ducks on them. I was sitting cross-legged on my bed, with Primrose sleeping beside me.
I held the ring up to the lamp.
Sparkle. Sparkle.
"Primrose," I whispered. "We are moving. To a penthouse. You are a rich dog now."
Primrose snored. Zzzzz.
"It's going to be great," I told her, trying to convince myself. "We will have ice cream dates. It's in the contract. Clause One."
I flopped back onto my pillows, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling.
One week.
Seven days to prepare to live with Gabriel Muratori.
Seven days to prepare for... the thing.
My face flushed hot again. I am a wife. A real wife.
"Okay," I said to the ceiling. "I need a plan."
I grabbed my phone and opened my Notes app. I created a new folder: Operation: Wifey.
1. Pack cute outfits (make sure to pack the pink ones to annoy him).
2. Buy sexy lingerie?! (OMG NO HUHUHU BUT MAYBE? WHAT DOES A BILLIONAIRE HUSBAND LIKE?!)
3. Research: "How to be a rich wife."
4. Research: "Who is Gabriel Muratori?" (Seriously, who is he?!).
5. Research: "Does holding hands cause pregnancy? (Double check just in case)."
6. Say goodbye to normal life.
I tapped the screen.
I am Aleesha Serena Muratori. I am small. I am loud. I like pink.
And I am married to the Big Bad Wolf.
"Mwehehehe," I giggled nervously in the dark. "He won't know what hit him."
I turned off the lamp.
But I kept the ring on. Just in case it was all a dream, and I wanted to wake up holding a rock.
Goodnight, world. Goodnight, Husband. See you in seven days.