Chapter 3
THREE
Minutes later, with tears streaming so fiercely she could barely see the road, Rita headed straight back to Hawthorn Acre.
Jilly’s advice might well have been the sensible way forward.
Give him space, keep her dignity, breathe.
But every instinct in Rita’s body was rebelling.
She couldn’t do it. Not when her heart was ricocheting around her chest like a trapped sparrow.
She had to know who this mysterious woman was and whether Jago Jenken wanted just a little space or a whole vacuum of it.
She swung onto Jago’s drive in a spray of gravel, the tyres skidding slightly as she braked too hard. Swallowing the lump lodged in her throat, and relieved to see that the unidentified Mini had gone, she scrubbed the tears from her face with the heels of her hands and climbed out of the car.
Meg, Jago’s loyal sheepdog, walked towards her wagging her tail, then, as if sensing the tension oozing from the incensed woman in front of her padded back to her owner, who was pumping up the tyres of the Defender with a mobile air pump.
Rita strode towards him. ‘Jago!’
He turned slowly, surprise flickering across his face before settling into that calm, infuriatingly composed expression she both loved and loathed.
‘Rita…’ His voice was steady, gentle, but there was an edge of apprehension about it.
‘Who was that woman?’ She tried to keep her voice from breaking.
Jago ran a hand through his hair, looking past her for a moment, then back, meeting her gaze. ‘She’s just… a friend.’
‘A friend?’ Tears annoyingly started to slip out. ‘You looked like you were… like… I don’t even know! Laughing, leaning in, smiling at her like you well… like you used to look at me… before all this space business.’
He sighed and crouched slightly so Meg could nuzzle him. ‘It’s not what it looked like and what are you doing spying on me anyway?’
‘I wasn’t!’ Rita’s anger wavered under the mix of honesty and frustration in his eyes. ‘Look, I’ve had enough of this weird break, or whatever this is. You don’t just vanish, Jago. You don’t just leave me hanging like I’m some… some… I don’t know!’
He stood up tall, reached for Rita’s hand, and squeezed it. ‘Look, I screwed up, I know. Please… let’s just talk. Come into the warm.’
Rita’s heart thudded. She wanted to yell, storm off, cry. Instead, she let him guide her inside.
Jago popped a log onto the wood burner, the heart of his renovated kitchen that opened into one of his cosy lounges, then handed her a coffee from his shiny new café-worthy machine. Meg flopped down onto her sheepskin rug in front of the fire.
Jago sighed as he sat down opposite her at the table. ‘OK. OK. I need to be honest with you. Because I never ever want there to be any lies between us.’
Rita’s brow furrowed, a burning feeling going through her gut.
‘It was my ex-wife,’ Jago blurted. ‘She wanted to make peace with me.’
Rita blinked. ‘So, you did just lie.’
‘Yes, because you are overreacting. It’s not what you think.’
‘It was five years ago, Jago, wasn’t it?’ Rita glared. ‘She left you for your best friend and the child he knocked her up with! What the hell! You hated her!’
‘I know, I know.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘But sometimes we need to make peace with our past, don’t we? It doesn’t mean anything… it’s just… closure, I guess.’
‘Clearly her words not yours! The selfish cow,’ Rita blurted. ‘And bullshit. There is never closure; it’s just a polite lie we tell ourselves to try and make sense of the nonsensical.’
Jago raised his eyebrows. ‘Rita, please will you calm down.’
Rita grimaced as the scalding coffee burned her lip, then quickly licked it to try and ease the pain. ‘I thought she lived in Surrey, anyway?’
Jago’s voice remained level. ‘She does. They do. She just pitched up, said she was down here for a funeral, so what was I to say?’
Rita grimaced. ‘Something with “off” on the end, surely?’
Jago couldn’t help himself from smirking. ‘And this is why I love you, Rita Jory.’
Rita’s nostrils flared like those of a charging bull. ‘And a funeral, really? How convenient.’
Jago calmly sipped his coffee. ‘Yes, her uncle, fell down the stairs.’
‘Don’t tell me he landed on his dog and killed him too,’ Rita blurted.
He gave her a smile back. ‘Ah, dear Hilda, the funeral crasher. Of course!’
Rita’s sore lip wobbled. ‘So, she didn’t stay the night here, then?’
Jago’s eyes widened. ‘No! Of course she didn’t; she’s been with her dad in Penrose.’ He reached across the table for her hands. ‘Trust me. Cheating’s never been my style… definitely not after knowing what it’s like to be on the other end of it.’
Rita cocked her head and looked at him intently. ‘You looked like you were getting on well.’
Jago loosened his grip. ‘So, you were spying on me, then?’
‘I was with Jilly. I happened to see you and… well.’
‘You put two and two together and made a hundred.’ Jago walked round to her side of the table and kissed the top of her head. ‘Look, I was with her a long time. If she hadn’t dropped by, I never would have instigated it and will probably never see her again.’
‘Probably?’ Rita’s face fell.
‘OK. OK. I definitely won’t be seeing her again!’
‘And what about your mate, will you be rekindling your friendship with him too?’
‘Rita, stop.’ Jago looked pained. ‘I’m not sure why he’s even in the equation here, but I never want to see him again, either.’
He pulled her up from her seat and held her arm’s length. ‘And I promise, me wanting some time away from our relationship had nothing to do with me seeing Elodie.’
Trust her to have a beautiful name, Rita thought.
Jago smiled his one-dimpled smile. ‘Anyway, enough about her, let’s talk about us. About the elephant in the room. About Valentine’s Day.’
Rita blew out a noisy breath. ‘Forever known in my mind as the Valentine’s Day Cock-up.’
‘Or cock-down for me.’ Jago smirked. ‘Anyway, I’ve not been avoiding you for any other reason, but I wanted to give you some space, too.
Time to see how you really feel about us.
We got together so quickly after Archie passed; what if it is a rebound?
What if it is because I do remind you of him?
I need to know that we’re both here for the right reasons.
I do love you, Rita, and of that I have no doubt. ’
‘I love you, too,’ Rita said softly. ‘Can’t we just go back to how it was now, please?’
‘I have a question for you.’ Jago’s eyebrows rose. ‘If it had been an engagement ring in that box, and not a bracelet, what would you have said?’
‘I… um… I…’ Rita stuttered.
Jago raised an eyebrow again with a gentle shake of the head. ‘See? You’re not sure. I knew it.’
Rita squirmed. ‘We’re not talking about marriage here.’
Jago’s expression softened. ‘I don’t want to be mucking about now. I want the next woman in my life to be the one who I grow old with. It has to be right. We have to be right. So, hear me out here. I have a cunning plan that I hope you will agree to.’
‘Oh God.’ Rita put her hand to her head. ‘What now? The last time you had one of those you ended up seducing me in a yurt.’
He hesitated, a mischievous glint in his eye. ‘And I didn’t hear you complaining.’
Rita laughed. ‘Go on. Tell me.’
‘How about on June the fourth, your birthday – see I remembered’ – Jago grinned – ‘I arrange something special. It can be our “shall we get back together properly” evening or weekend.’
Rita thought back to last year. It had been the first after Archie’s passing and with all the madness of setting up the retreat, her birthday had been a complete non-event.
She’d always loved celebrating it, no matter her age, and the idea of actually having it marked properly this time made her smile inside.
‘I’m not sure what’s going on at the retreat that week yet,’ Rita said.
‘OK. We don’t have to go anywhere. It can be here at the farm.’ Jago nodded. ‘On the fourth of June, we relight the fire, our fire. One cake, forty-seven candles, and enough lurve to set off the smoke alarms.’
Rita let out a laugh, despite herself. ‘You’re such a romantic old fool.’
‘Less of the old! I’m a few years younger than you and anyway, that’s why you love me,’ he said with a grin. ‘Well, I hope you do…’
She shook her head, smiling through her exasperation. ‘Fine. I think that’s… actually, that’s a wonderful idea. I didn’t even celebrate last year.’
‘I know that and all the more reason to make it special this year.’ Jago winked.
‘I’ll still see you around the farm,’ he continued, a small, reassuring smile tugging at his lips.
‘Any help you need, I’ll be here. But… let’s put the relationship bit on hold.
Let’s let it breathe. I want you to know what you really want. It will do us both good, I think.’
Rita’s throat tightened. ‘So, in reality, you are giving me space?’
‘I am,’ he said simply. ‘Because I care about you. Because I want this to be real.’
‘And you’re not really running off with your ex-wife, then?’
‘Over my dead body will I be doing that, Rita Jory. Nor anybody else. This isn’t about being free; it’s about wanting not to be. Now come here.’
She hesitated. ‘Are we… are we allowed to hug?’
He grinned. ‘Only if you promise not to call me Archie ever again.’
‘Oi!’ Rita hit him playfully on the arm.