Chapter 37
THIRTY-SEVEN
Sennen and Thom made their way pensively into the hospital ward, stopping at the end bed of six.
There she was, Granny Hilda, propped up on pillows, her chic grey bob perfectly in place, her left hand fully bandaged, a teacup clutched in the right.
Her cough rattled like a vintage engine, but the twinkle in her eyes hadn’t dimmed.
‘Well, would you look who’s here?’ A grin spread across her face. ‘Your mother just phoned to ruin the surprise, of course, but how lovely you’ve come to see me.’ Her hand wobbled as she replaced the cup on the table over her bed.
‘Pull the curtains round, love,’ Hilda whispered and nodded to her left.
‘Her in the bed next door’s been telling me she’s the Queen Mother all night.
I told her that the dear monarch died in two thousand and two, but she’s adamant I’m wrong.
’ Sennen giggled. ‘Promise me if I get that annoying you will push me off the High Meadow in a wheelchair. Now sit down, sit down, the pair of you.’
The twins sorted the curtains, then sat down either side of the bed.
Hilda pointed to her bandages. ‘Bloody burned it trying to get out of the flames. Lucky it wasn’t the right one, eh? Still got one good hand for a fag.’ She took a pretend drag, hacked, and then wheezed a laugh. ‘The morphine’s stopping me missing nicotine for a minute, always a cloud.’
‘Granny…’ Thom began, but she wagged a finger at him.
‘Don’t start. I really thought the end had come last night. It would have been a terrible way to go; I want to be buried but I guess it would have saved on cremation costs. You’d have just needed to pop me in an old butter tub and slide me in with your grandfather. God rest his filthy soul.’
Sennen’s shoulders shook. ‘Granny!’
She squinted at them. ‘Then I saw Jago. Who’d have thought a bollocking Jenken would whisk me up like Richard Gere in…’ She coughed again, trying to suppress it. ‘… An Officer and a Gentleman.’
Thom and Sennen looked confused. ‘It’s a film, nineteen eighty-two, darlings.
Have a look. Proper romance. Not like this online swiping about you all do now.
You had to meet in person back in the day, feel the tension, the chemistry.
’ Hilda’s eyes twinkled mischievously. ‘I had a few officers in my time, but not many were gentlemen, I tell you that.’ Hilda started to cough again.
Sennen’s face went red as a lobster. Thom snorted with laughter.
‘Anyway.’ Hilda reached for her tea again, Sennen rushed to help.
‘I suppose your mother has told you about being pregnant, has she now? More bloody twins, too, I hear! Imagine that.’ She looked at her grandchildren with unwavering love, then tapped her bandaged hand with her good one.
‘Don’t worry. Even though their father is a Jenken, I’ll live long enough to make sure they get spoilt rotten.
Just like you’ve been.’ Thom and Sennen shared an emotional glance.
Hilda took another sip and handed the cup back to Sennen to put down.
‘Do you know when you will be allowed home, Granny?’
‘Not yet, but it needs to be soon; we’ve got a wedding to officiate, haven’t we?’ Hilda’s eyes twinkled. ‘And I don’t mean yours, Thom’ – she winked at him – ‘although that Poppy… what a lovely girl she is. She may not be a natural farmer’s wife, but what she is going to be is an incredible nurse.’
Thom and Sennen exchanged another look, half-worried their grandmother might announce that she was actually Princess Margaret next, but wisely said nothing.
‘Goodness yes.’ Hilda shot up. ‘I’ve just remembered something else. Did she tell you what I saw?’
Thom and Sennen looked at her blankly.
‘Ah, well, err… I haven’t really spoken to her much today,’ Thom offered guiltily, rubbing the back of his neck.
Hilda leaned back again, coughing, but her eyes were sharp as ever. ‘I saw something odd on the new cameras, a shadowy figure, and you know me, I couldn’t just sit there. Curiosity got the better of me, so I went to the Cosy Café to have a look myself.’
‘Granny, you should have called one of us.’
‘Oh, Thomas, you know how much I love Miss Marple.’ Hilda gave them a wicked grin.
Then as if wincing at the memory of the night before, she took a deep, exaggerated breath. ‘But you’re right, I should have done, because just as I was peeking around the corner, that’s when it happened.’
The twins were both wide-eyed. ‘What happened, Granny?’
‘I shone my torch, and then a flash of fire shot up. The next thing I remember is coming to with a searing pain in my hand, staggering to my feet, and Jago carrying me to the ambulance like old Dicky Gere himself.’
‘Shit! That’s awful.’
‘Language, Thomas,’ Hilda chided. Thom smiled and shook his head.
From the bed next door, a frail but loud voice piped up in regal fashion: ‘Fire in the common room! Summon the staff and fetch the corgis immediately!’