Chapter 34 Matty
MATTY
The bar door swung shut behind us, muffling the roar of the game and the clatter of glasses. Outside, the night was cool, the temperature falling from the earlier drizzle. Streetlamps glowed against the damp asphalt, and the neon sign over Dusty’s bled red and blue across the puddles like paint.
Hudson swiped the back of his hand across his mouth, still grinning from something the bartender had said. “You okay? You’ve seemed distracted since you got back from Denver. You barely touched your wings. ”
“I didn’t need to.” I bumped his elbow. “You ate mine and yours.”
Color climbed up his neck, but his grin didn’t falter.
He looked both guilty and proud, the way only Hudson could.
“Couldn’t let them go to waste. Not with what Dusty charges.
You didn’t even blink at the receipt.” He leaned closer, lowering his voice.
“Sorry in advance. Might not be up for bottoming tonight.”
I snorted, catching him by the elbow before he tripped over a crack in the pavement. He’d had one too many beers, not enough to ruin the night, but enough that I’d practically herded him out before he crossed the line into sloppy. My plans couldn’t afford sloppy.
Three days ago, I’d come back from Denver with the ring tucked in my pocket, heavy as a secret. Since then, it’d nearly burned a hole through my jeans, begging to be pulled out and offered. But I wanted more than a half-assed proposal.
I’d been practical when I asked him before to marry me. No wonder he’d asked me to think it over. I might have given him the impression I only wanted to marry him to protect him and Ivy, but that wasn’t the case.
I wanted the moment to mean something, to carry the weight of what we’d been through. That was why I’d waited. Why I’d chosen tonight.
Hudson Granger was the one.
He’d been the one four years ago.
Years down the road, he would still be the one.
I didn’t want to have to wait another year or two to marry him. Not the way Heather had tricked him. I would give him a proper marriage with both names signed and a stamp of approval from the state.
Hudson Granger Magnuson.
Formally mine.
It would be easier to adopt Ivy that way. Hopefully, he didn’t ask me to think that over too when I brought up the topic.
When we reached the truck, Hudson pinned me against the side.
“Thanks for taking me out tonight,” he whispered, then slammed his mouth hot and hungry on mine.
I kissed him back just as hard, fingers tangled in his hair.
His hands slid down between us, cupping my cock and groping me, even though we were in a half-lit parking lot.
Bristlecone Springs was more tolerant and queer-friendly than most small towns in the west, but still…
“Thought you weren’t in the mood for sex.” I nipped his bottom lip. “So why are you trying to start something you can’t finish?”
“Hmm, now where would you get that idea?” He kissed my cheekbone, trailing his lips across to my neck. “There’s still a lot to do without my bottoming. I can fuck your mouth while you play with my nipples.”
The sound he made in his throat was pure sin, half growl, half promise, vibrating against my skin. My knees damn near buckled, and I gripped his shirt to steady myself.
“Christ, Hud,” I muttered, heat pooling low in my stomach. “You’re gonna get us arrested for lewd conduct.”
He chuckled against my neck, teeth grazing. A shiver ran through me. “Then drive, cowboy. Before I give the town more gossip by blowing you right here.”
I shoved him lightly toward the passenger door, though my pulse was racing from his words. “Get in. As much as I’d like that, we have Ivy to think of now.”
“Damn, why are you already such a good father? I’ve had three years at it, and half the time I’m convinced I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. One day, Ivy will be old enough to call me out on my bullshit.” He opened the door and got in. “Come on, then. I want to make the most of the night.”
I slid into place next to him in the driver’s seat and pushed the Start button. The truck purred to life, and the headlights cut across the parking lot. Hudson stretched out next to me, a hand on my thigh, dangerously close to my erection.
“Back to my place, right?” He brushed his knuckles against me.
“Nope. The carpet’s still ripped out.” The water damage from the storm had left the old rugs smelling like a swamp, and it had taken a full day to haul the mess out. “Aren’t the guys supposed to come tomorrow to put the new ones in?”
“Yeah, but all we need is the bed. I can’t be at the ranch house tonight, Matt.” He was pouting, and it was so fucking sexy I was tempted to pull over and put those lips to use. “I’m a little tipsy and not sure I can keep it down.”
I chuckled, squeezing his knee. “Don’t worry. Where we’re going, you can be as loud as you want.”
He gave me a sidelong glance, suspicion and amusement warring in his eyes. “What does that mean?”
“Shh. You’ll spoil the surprise.”
“Hmm. Don’t mind if I entertain myself, then.”
His entertainment was inside my jeans. He kept fondling me, trying to undo the button, and failing. Laughing, I gave him a hand, flicked the button open, and spread the flaps apart.
“Now that’s what I’m talking about.”
Hudson slid his palm inside and curled his fingers hot and rough against me. My hips jerked off the seat, and his laugh was low and wicked.
“Eyes on the road, cowboy,” he teased, stroking me slow enough to drive me insane. “No blow job for you if you’re getting distracted by it. Safety first.”
“Fuck, Hud,” I ground out, white-knuckling the wheel as my cock swelled against his grip. “You’re gonna kill me.”
“But isn’t it a good way to go?” His voice dipped, that lazy drawl winding right around my spine. He leaned in close, lips brushing the shell of my ear. “You love it when I touch you like this. Big strong rancher, but I can still get you trembling with five fingers and a filthy mouth.”
I groaned, helpless. He wasn’t wrong. My thighs tensed, fighting to stay steady as he worked me with his hand, smearing precum across the head.
Then he shifted lower and pulled me free. The air conditioner chilled me for a heartbeat, but then he closed his mouth over the tip.
“Jesus Christ, Hud.”
He laughed around me. “Just don’t take your eyes off the road. Ivy still needs her two daddies when she wakes up tomorrow.” He swallowed me down again, tongue pressing flat, wet heat dragging me closer to the edge with every pull.
The wet gluck-gluck filled the cab, obscene. My chest heaved like I’d run the length of the ranch. I tangled my fingers in his hair, not to guide, just to hang on.
He was relentless, bobbing his head, one hand wrapped tight at the base, the other palming my thigh like he wanted to leave fingerprints there.
I didn’t know how the hell I kept driving. Every muscle in me was trembling, and my vision hazed at the edges. When I finally swung the truck into a turn and the neon vacancy sign came into view, my gut clenched.
Finally.
If the journey were any longer, I would have had to pull over to fuck his face properly.
Hudson gave one last hard suck, pulled off with a wet pop, and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. His grin was sinful. He looked up at the motel sign, and his jaw dropped.
He sat up, chest rising and falling, suspicion flashing in his eyes. “Why are we here, Matt?” he asked. “We no longer need to have sex in secret in this cheap motel room. We have a house. Hell, we have a tent by the lake.”
I tucked my cock back into my jeans, still shaky from his mouth. When I was decent again, I cupped his jaw until he looked at me. “But this is a place with lots of memories.”
“You mean this is the place where we fucked for thirty-six hours?”
The words hit sharper than he’d meant them to. I knew he didn’t mean to cheapen the experience, but my throat tightened, and when I spoke, it came out rough, unsteady. “It wasn’t just that to me, Hud. It’s the place where I fell deeper in love with you.”
His grin faltered. “Matt.”
I shook my head, trying to steady my voice.
“We’d break ourselves all week working sunup to sundown at the ranch, five days straight.
Then for thirty-six hours, it was just us.
Away from everyone, away from the gossip.
Those hours here—” My chest burned, and I pressed my hand over it.
“They meant the world to me. Watching those old westerns while we got buzzed on cheap beer. Passing one cigarette between us like a couple of high school kids. Listening to you breathe when you fell asleep halfway through the movie, and knowing—knowing—I got to keep you for another night.”
Hudson’s expression shifted. Shock came first, then regret. He lifted his hand and covered mine where it still held his jaw.
“Shit, I’m sorry.” His voice cracked, raw with remorse.
“I wasn’t trying to make it sound like I didn’t care.
Those nights meant more to me than I ever said.
It was just… different for me back then.
You were already falling, and I was still figuring myself out—my sexuality, who I was after everything that had happened.
You know I did stuff with men before you, but it was always for payment.
I don’t think I fully accepted that I was bi until you.
You came into my life, and I was attracted to you more than I’ve ever been attracted to anyone in my life, and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Those Fridays we slipped away?” His eyes softened, almost breaking.
“They were the only thing that got me through the week. The only time I let myself breathe and not stress about the past and paying off my debts.”
I forced a smile, though my throat was still thick. Logically, I knew two people didn’t have to fall in love at the same time, but my heart still felt a little sad.
“It’s okay. I fell first, Hud, and that’s all right. That’s our story. Messy, complicated, but ours.”