Chapter 35 Hudson #2
Matt grabbed my ass, spreading my cheeks and squeezing. My hole clenched with the familiar anticipation of his touch, where I ached for it. Like he knew, he slipped his fingers between my cheeks and rubbed my hole. My body lit up like every pore connected to live wires.
“Keep doing that,” I said, my hole spasming to feel something inside it.
“You have such a greedy hole,” he murmured against my shoulder. “You’re inside me, but it still wants me.”
I pumped him harder. His muscles clenched tight around me, dragging me deeper like he didn’t want to let go. The point of his finger slipped inside me, tentative at first, then curling just enough to tease.
“Fuck—Matt—” His name tore out of me, ragged. That finger was maddening, the stretch not much but enough to light me up, like he was reminding me who I belonged to even now when I was buried inside him.
I bottomed out with every thrust, slamming my hips, sweat dripping from my forehead onto his chest. He smirked up at me through gritted teeth, flushed and wrecked, then brought his fingers to my mouth.
“Get them wet.”
I sucked his fingers in and coated them with spit.
He pulled them free, slid his hand back, pressed at my ass, and pushed two fingers inside. I froze. I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped my head forward as the stretch stole my breath.
“Fuck, babe.” My voice cracked, half a moan, half a plea.
“Stay still,” he rasped, his chest rising and falling fast beneath me. “Let me feel you while you feel me.”
I did, muscles trembling as I held still, buried deep inside him, his hole milking me tight while his fingers worked me open. The sensation was dizzying with how full I was both ways, like he owned every inch of me, even while I was the one inside him.
“Fuck.” I kissed him hard, swallowing his moans as his fingers curled. Sparking lightning shot through me. I shuddered, helpless in his grip, and ground in shallow, needy rolls while he fingered me steady and slow.
“Look at you,” he whispered. “Falling apart, Hud. You love that, don’t you? The way I fuck you with my fingers while you’re inside me?”
I couldn’t answer, only groaned as my body clenched around his fingers, every nerve lit. The pressure coiled low, tight, and unbearable.
“Matt—” My voice broke.
He pulled me closer, forcing me deeper. “Go on,” he urged. “Come for me. Right here. Inside me.”
The words shredded the last of my control. I drove into him, pumping my hips fast, harder, until I was slamming home with every thrust, the bed groaning under us. His fingers never left me, pushing me higher, closer—
“Fuck, I’m—” The rest dissolved into a hoarse cry as release tore through me. I buried myself deep, shaking apart, seed spilling into him in hot, pulsing waves.
His name fell from my lips again and again as I collapsed against his chest, my body quaking with aftershocks. His fingers slipped free.
I pressed my forehead to his damp skin, kissing him weakly, breathless. “Matt… Jesus. You undo me.”
I sagged against him, chest heaving, my cock still twitching deep inside his heat. I could’ve stayed like that forever, the thrum of my heartbeat matching his, but he shifted under me.
“Your turn,” I whispered.
I kissed down his jaw, tasting the sweat on his throat, and lower, tracing the line of his chest until I found his nipple. I sucked it into my mouth, flicking my tongue hard over the peak. His breath hitched; his back arched.
His abs tightened under my cheek as he panted, teeth gritted, moving his hand quick and desperate over his cock. With a guttural cry, he spilled his release, and I was right there to close my lips over the head of his cock and take it all in, swallowing around him as his body bucked helplessly.
“Hud, Jesus Christ—” His voice broke, hoarse and wrecked, as I sucked him through every twitch, every spasm, holding his hips down when he tried to thrust deeper.
Hot, bitter salt filled my mouth, and I didn’t let a drop go to waste, greedily swallowing him down until he sagged into the bed, trembling and undone.
I pulled back slowly, and he groaned, still shuddering, his hand finding the back of my head and clinging like he couldn’t stand to let go.
When I finally crawled back up his body, I collapsed against him, sweaty and shaking, mouth locked to his, neither of us willing to let go yet.
His arms came around me, holding me tight against his chest, and I pressed kisses wherever I could reach, his mouth, his jaw, the salty curve of his shoulder.
For a long moment, all we could do was breathe.
“So? How was it?” I finally whispered.
He chuckled weakly, brushing my hair back. “Different. I didn’t hate it.”
“You came, which is good.”
“Yeah.” There was a quiet to his voice. “I’m still open to bottoming for you when you need it, but if it’s all the same, I prefer to top.”
“Good.” I kissed him again. “Because I prefer bottoming for you. When your fingers slid inside my ass, I went a little nuts there at the end.”
His smile wobbled. “Hud—”
“Hmm?”
“If you ever want to top again, swear you’ll tell me. I don’t want to lose you over something so small.”
“Hey.” I cupped his face, made him meet my eyes. “You’re not losing me. Ever. Don’t think like that.”
He swallowed, nodded, but his eyes gave him away.
“Is that what made you do this tonight?” I asked gently.
Matty hesitated, then whispered, “I’ve been thinking. You’re bi. Versatile. I didn’t want you to feel like you were missing out, like I was holding you back, and I can’t bear the thought of you being with anyone else, so I’m open to compromise.”
My chest ached. “You think I’d stray if I didn’t get to top?”
He looked away. “I just know that my heart couldn’t take losing you again.”
I kissed him hard, silencing the words. “Ah, Matt, believe me when I say there’s nothing I find more empowering than seeing you lose control when you’re inside me.
I promise. I’m not going to leave you or step out on you, but if it makes you feel better, then yes.
If I feel the need to top, we’ll talk about it. ”
Matty exhaled hard, chest still rising and falling hard against mine. For a long moment, he held me, running his hand over my back in slow strokes, like he was grounding himself as much as me.
“There’s something else I should probably tell you.” His voice came, quieter than I’d ever heard it. “Not that I need an excuse. Some men don’t like to bottom and vice versa, but for me, something happened when I was younger.”
My breath stalled. I lifted my head enough to see his face, shadows softening the edges but not the heaviness in his eyes. “What?”
He brushed over my jaw, but his gaze had already gone distant, like he was looking backward instead of at me. “That foreman I used to fuck––the one my dad fired when he found out—he wasn’t my first.” He swallowed, jaw tight. “When I was fourteen, I had sex with another guy for the first time.”
I blinked slowly. Relief tried to sneak in. Hell, that was young, but not unusual. I remembered fumbling my way through hookups at that age. “That’s not so bad, right? Fourteen’s about when most kids experiment.”
“Yeah, except the man I lost it to was twenty-seven.”
Cold rolled down my spine. My stomach clenched, and I felt sick. “What?”
“The only gay kid I knew in Bristlecone back then was Carter.” Matty’s voice stayed steady, but it held an edge of something brittle. “When this man showed interest, I guess you can say I was… flattered. It’s not easy growing up gay in a small town like this.”
“What happened?” I forced the words out, my brain already sifting through faces at the ranch, calculating ages to find the culprit.
“He decided because I was younger, that meant my role was to bottom. Always.” He looked away, throat working.
His heart raced against mine, even though he sounded calm.
“I was scared but went along with it because, well, where else would I get to have that experience? He said it would get easier, and I would enjoy it after the discomfort wore off. I never did. I hated it. Every second of it. The way he would bend me over and be finished long before I was even ready. It went on for months before I finally worked up the nerve to tell him I was done bottoming.”
Rage burned hot in my chest, so sudden it nearly choked me.
I pushed up on my elbows, staring down at him.
“Matty—Jesus Christ.” My voice shook. “That wasn’t just wrong.
That was a crime. You were a kid. Fourteen.
He was almost thirty. That man should’ve been in jail for even looking at you that way, let alone touching you. ”
“Nah, I knew what I was doing and went along with it.”
Matty glanced away, but I caught his jaw and forced his gaze back to mine. “Don’t downplay this. Don’t you dare think you were just some willing kid fooling around. You were taken advantage of. Used. Does Gray know?”
“No, and don’t say anything.” He caught my wrist when I tried to pull back.
“It was a long time ago, and I’m over it.
Just chalked it up to a bad sexual experience.
We all have some of those. Grant dropped me the second I stopped letting him use me like that, and I was just…
relieved it was over. I buried it, and I never told anyone.
Not Dad. Not Carter. Just shoved it down.
” He exhaled hard, shaking his head. “But I wanted you to know in the same way you told me about your past. I don’t want to hide anything from you. ”
He was saying a lot, but only one word registered. “Grant?” My blood went ice cold. “You mean Grant, who works at the bank? The one who’s with Lawson’s ex-husband?”
Matty flinched but nodded. “Yeah.”
“Matt—fuck—he still lives here. Why didn’t you ever tell Gray? He would’ve pressed charges. He would’ve burned the whole town down for you. You know that’s the kind of father he is.”
“I didn’t want that.” His voice cracked now, raw.
“Back then, I was grateful it ended and wanted to put it behind me. Then I grew up, met you, and for the first time, it wasn’t about power or age.
You let me take the lead instead of assuming you should top.
You trusted me.” He finally met my eyes, gaze burning.
“That’s why I wanted tonight. To take back the choice.
To give it to you because I love you. Not because I had to. ”
My chest felt too tight, my throat too raw.
I cupped his face and kissed him like I could put back every stolen piece.
“Thank you for telling me,” I whispered against his lips.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Matt.
It was not okay what happened between you and Grant.
Fuck, now I hate him more than I did before. ”
He kissed me back, slow and sweet. “Don’t think about it. I shouldn’t have brought it up and ruined the mood. I had big plans for tonight.”
“You didn’t ruin a damn thing,” I said fiercely, kissing him again, harder this time. “If anything, you made tonight mean even more. Because this time was ours. Yours. No one else’s.”
He made a low sound, almost a groan, and pulled me back down against his chest. We lay there tangled up in each other, but my mind wouldn’t let me forget his name.
Grant.