Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
A PERMANENCE
Mathilda
Callum slept, wrapped around my back with one hand splayed over my stomach and the other arm around my shoulders. Close, tight, and loving as we lay on our sides in the log cabin’s big bed. He gave off heat like a furnace, and I luxuriated in the warmth.
We’d passed out after the mind-blowing sex, but from the illuminated clock across the room in the tiny kitchen area, only a couple of hours had passed before I’d awoken.
I had a problem, and it was keeping me from sleep.
The emotions in me had moved up another notch. I liked Callum. A life-changing amount. My whole being hurt with all the new feelings. The second biggest being a fear, and I shuddered for all the damage it could do.
Scarlet, my parents, Beth, my job, Callum’s brothers…there were more than just mine and Callum’s lives affected if we did this. What if it didn’t work out?
Dad loved my mother so much it had destroyed a part of him when she’d cheated. The lesson I’d learned was that you didn’t place too much of yourself into relationships as you’d have to sacrifice that part when it all went wrong.
I was giving Callum my everything, despite my worries. I had no choice. Even thinking of being without him… No. An unbearable thought. The safety of his arms spurred me on to face each of my other little fears in turn.
Maybe a long-distance relationship would work for a while, but his life was here.
He had a family to support and people who relied on him.
All of which he managed on his own. Would his brothers want me here?
Could I bring my sister with me, if I found a way?
I had a feeling they’d welcome her without question.
Scarlet was the only permanent fixture I had.
I enjoyed my job but I’d happily give it up for the right opportunity.
Living far from my parents was highly appealing.
Then there was Beth. Moving out of our shared home—because my mind had terrifyingly leapt to me relocating to Castle McRae—would be a wrench, but Beth would move on eventually, too.
We’d stay friends regardless and we could visit one another.
If Callum decided he truly wanted me in the same way, I could move to Scotland to be with him. I wanted it. Him.
My heart constricted, and I hugged his arm, wedging my bare leg tightly under his much larger, hairier one.
Callum made a small noise of contentment in his sleep, and his fingers caressed my stomach. Instinct had me wanting to hold back my little revelation, but I’d already held back too much.
I needed him, so I was going to make love to him, then we could talk it all out.
“What is it? Why are you breathing so hard?” came his drowsy murmur.
I didn’t answer. Instead, I took his hand and ran it up to my breast, then I massaged myself using his hand, coaxing my nipple to a hard peak.
Callum shifted at my back, pushing up on an elbow as he ducked his head to lay a sleepy, hot kiss on my skin. First my shoulder, then to my neck, his hand keeping up the kneading I’d initiated.
Against my ass, his dick hardened.
“Mathilda,” Callum whispered, and I twisted my neck to kiss him.
The low fire washed him in amber, the light flickering over his skin. We kissed, and he clutched me to him, the hand at my belly possessive and the other leaving my breast to travel south. I whimpered into his kiss when he slid his rough fingers over my clit then to the core of me.
“So wet,” he murmured then returned his attention to my clit, moving in small circles as I spread my legs, giving him access. So good.
He said my name again, and I reached back to bring his oversized dick between my thighs. Clumsily, I rubbed him against me, his rigid cock meeting my slick centre. His fingers gripped over mine, and together, we used him as a tool, readying me for him.
Then, he shifted his hand to circle my clit again, and I lined him up then pushed him inside me.
We both stilled.
I rolled my hips once, every nerve ending lighting up, blazing with sensation.
No condom.
Callum was bare inside me.
“Mathilda...”
“I know.”
“Just need to…” He blew out a breath and reached over me to the bedside table, pushing farther into me at the same time. I mewled, and he made a sound like he was in pain, dropping back down, a condom packet in his hand.
“I’ve never done this before. Never tried it without—”
I rolled my hips. Another groan.
“I’m sorry,” I managed to utter. “I’m clean.”
“You’re trying to kill me,” he breathed, still not pulling out. “I am, too, but fuck.”
“And I’m on the pill.” There was a permanence to this. I’d always been safe. In every way. Sleeping with someone unprotected was the ultimate trust exercise. To be savoured. Saved for the one. We were almost there, except we hadn’t talked this through.
“Christ, woman. Are ye sure?” At my moan, Callum lifted my leg and inched forward inside me. With his damp forehead on my shoulder, he pushed home.
“You have no idea how good this feels. How crazy I am for you.” His voice was low and delicious. Strained with his fervour.
I slid my arm between my legs and stroked his thigh, then found his heavy balls. Pulled lightly, then ran my thumb between them. Callum’s steady strokes stuttered, and his grip on me tightened, his fingers indenting the flesh of my hips.
“Touch yourself,” he demanded.
“Go slow,” I ordered right back.
I shifted my hand to my clit, and after a few minutes of his heavy, thick strokes, slow in the most delicious way, I was crying out and arching back.
My orgasm hit me in stages: a slow pulse from deep inside, from the places he stretched and the magical spot he kept hitting, then a flurry of rising electricity from my fingers at my clit.
“Callum!”
“Yes, Mathilda,” he growled in my ear. “Yell my name.”
I did, over and over. I flopped onto the bed, sated, and Callum reared up, no longer slow or gentle.
With both hands, he rolled me to my front and dragged my hips up so my backside was in the air and my face down on the bed.
He entered me in a single, hard thrust that caught the last vestiges of my orgasm and had me crying out, then he set a punishing pace, thrusting with a ruthless force.
The bed frame banged against the wall. The fire sparked. Callum’s massive, powerful thighs stretched where he slammed into me again and again, then he bellowed, choking out my name as he came, pulsing hard deep inside.
His breathing ragged and his voice raw, Callum McRae never sounded more tender when he whispered words and collapsed down, taking care not to land on me before he rolled me into his arms. With soft, wet kisses, he told me I was beautiful, he said I meant the world to him.
The feeling was mutual.
I opened my eyes to a terrifying emotion in his eyes, and I knew it was in mine, too.
With the fire fed and burning brightly, Callum raided the cabin’s small fridge and brought a midnight feast to the bed. I checked the time. Lachlan’s party would still be in full swing. Callum had said it would go on until dawn.
It hadn’t sat comfortably with me, his brothers going into the water, so I was glad we’d seen them safely out.
“You thought of everything.” I eyed the small picnic with glee. Brie, crackers, and a jar of tomato tapenade.
“Not so. I only thought of you,” he replied with a smile, offering me a bottle of water.
We consumed our midnight feast with the appetite of two people who’d burned a whole lot of calories on passion.
Callum watched me while he ate, a mixture of satisfaction and hunger on his face that I didn’t think the snack was going to fulfil.
I was blissed out, my body heavy and tingling.
Aching. But still I wanted more. To maximise this time in the space he’d carved out for us.
As we talked, he shared a little more about his father and how he sought to be everything the man wasn’t—a loyal family member, a valuable part of the community.
Gentle, though a protector. Kind. Loving.
I told him he was all of those things, and he rewarded me with the last bite.
It was beyond intimate, it was…a beginning.
“You were holding out on me,” I said. “We could’ve been doing this yesterday.”
He shrugged, clearing the remnants of our picnic away. “You weren’t ready.”
“Huh?” I blinked at him. I absolutely had been.
“Fine, maybe I wasn’t ready. This was never going to be casual for me. I needed to show you my life so you could choose if you wanted to be a part of it.”
He said it as a matter of fact, but this was serious, and after the thoughts I’d had, a thrill ran through me at the implication.
“Not that I’m making any assumptions.” He sat back on the bed dressed in only his black boxer shorts. I’d snagged his huge t-shirt, and it covered me to mid-thigh. Callum was comfortable in his skin in a way I never could be. Well, outside of sex. During, he made me feel beautiful.
“So telling me how I was yours over and over wasn’t making assumptions?” I teased him and extended my leg, poking him with my toe.
Callum grabbed my ankle and dragged me to him, then he manoeuvred me onto his lap so he was holding me off the edge of the bed. With his hands gripping my waist and thigh, he kissed my hair. I giggled and tucked in against him.
“Maybe it was,” he said. “Dinna tell me I’m wrong to have claimed you. My heart couldnae take the disappointment.”
“You’re not wrong.” My heart thundered as I spoke, and I huddled closer, unable to look him in the eye, the sense of vulnerability too great. Only with Callum could I feel small. Protected by his arms alone. It hit me in a wave, and I fell harder for him and his magic touch.
“The twins are a lot to take. Always in some danger.”
“I like them. They’re your life.”
“That they are. But only one part.”
We sat there, him holding me quietly in the dimly lit space.
“Tell me what’s happened with Scarlet.” Callum shifted to move us to the top of the bed. He carried me with ease and leaned his back on the headboard, waiting while I settled against his chest. “You want her away from your da, but you never said why.”
“She’s been stealing.” The words fell from my mouth. “She said it was to try to get a rise out of Dad, but keeping her away from temptation would be good.”
“Away from the city, then,” Callum mused. “I wonder where would be good for that.”
I bit back a smile. “I’m going to talk to my dad again. There’s something else he needs to know…” I took a breath.
We hadn’t made a commitment, but we’d come close. I didn’t want any secrets between us.
“The man who proposed to me is Dad’s business partner. A man I think you met.”
Callum stilled. “Who?”
“Dominic Hanswick.” I hadn’t meant to drop this like a bomb, but I wanted Callum to know. It was my business, the arrangement I’d considered, but Dominic’s affair affected Callum’s life. I had picked a side, and now I’d stick to it.
Around me, Callum’s arms banded tight. I continued my explanation, needing to have it done. “Last year, Dominic was in the press for having an affair. He’s single, but his girlfriend is married. She’s a politician, so it made the papers.”
Then I took a deep breath, readying the killer blow. “The publicity meant he lost investment. It’s the reason why he can’t pay his half of the Storm Force contracts.”
I twisted around as Callum still hadn’t said anything. His face tilted and he watched me, his forehead devoid of his usual frown, his expression unreadable.
“He’d have used you to cover up his affair?”
“That was the deal. Five years of my life. It didn’t seem like anything. Scarlet had been caught stealing red-handed, and the tension at my parents’ home was so awful for her. For everyone. Now, it seems like a life sentence.”
Callum huffed a strange sort of laugh. “Aye, it would have been. But I get it. Your life for hers.”
I shifted off his lap and looked at him properly, trying to get a read on where he was with this.
“Exactly, but it was a bad decision based on how much I care for Scarlet and the lengths I’d go to for her.
All of this was before I knew you existed.
I’d do anything to help my sister, but now,” I rubbed my forehead, “I think I was mad.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. You put your family first. But Hanswick…
” Callum sat up, breaking the connection between us.
“That fucking man. He came here, walked around my distillery and shook my hand. Then he fucked over someone else’s marriage, tossed a series of small businesses into turmoil, and went to you and tried to drag you into his mess.
That self-interested bastard. Who does he think he is? ”
A sense of guilt crept into me. Callum painted a bleak picture. I’d thought if I accepted Dominic’s offer I could only hurt myself. Now, a list of people flickered in front of my eyes. It might not have been me that had damaged them, but I’d have supported it.
Callum rolled up from the bed and crossed the floor. Emotion flitted over his features.
“I tried to see him. And your father. To tell them what they’d done. At least I know who to save my words for.”
“My father hates Dominic’s actions.”
Understanding resonated on Callum’s face. “Because of your mother’s affair?”
I cringed at the casual way Mom and Dominic’s actions were thrown together. This was where my cool head and my loyalties didn’t match up. I’d never thought beyond Scarlet, but now the unsavoury nature of it all had me wincing.
Dad wouldn’t like my plan, it would make things worse. All I’d done was try to navigate an out-of-the-blue offer and make it work for my sister, but instead I’d found myself involved in someone else’s mess.
Callum jabbed his fingers into his hair. I waited for his judgment, unhappiness welling. And I hated it, because I judged myself, and I didn’t like what I saw.
He’d change his view of me. I could almost see it happening.
A trilling sound rang out in the room. It came from Callum’s rucksack.
“Damn,” he said, ceasing his pacing to march over to the bag.
“What was that?”
“My emergency radio.”
“For what?” I clutched my chest.
“The mountain rescue.”
Callum threw out half the contents of his bag as he located a device with a large aerial. He activated it and barked a call sign.
I stared and a staccato voice accosted the room. Teenager. Alasdair McRae. Missing in the Braithar River. Last seen heading downstream toward the loch at Castle McRae.
Ally was missing.