Chapter 29 #2
I had so many questions for Ella. “It’s hard to imagine living at Belvedere. James showed me the wing he wanted to use as an apartment.” I pictured it now, and suddenly, in my imagination, it was full of furniture.
“I have a set of rooms earmarked, too. Moving in again will be weird.” Her eyes widened. “But I won’t be in your way. You’ll have your own space, and I’ll be in mine. Then I’ll go to university. Eventually, I’ll buy my own place so I won’t even live there that long.”
Her rush to distance herself had my chest aching. Just like when I’d witnessed James’s pain at his fractured family. Ella wanted people around her, that was obvious. I knew she and James still had a long way to go until they became close again but I could help them both. Be the bridge.
“We’ll be a family. It’ll be fun. Belvedere is more your home than mine, and besides, I need you around to help me every time I get lost.”
She gave me a small smile.
I moved on to her next point, clicking into big sister mode like I did with the foster kids at Belle’s. “University is your plan?”
“Yep. In Manchester. There’s a performing arts college I’ve read up on. It would give me access to an amazing group of tutors and professors. I’ve done all my research, and if I apply soon, I can start in the autumn term.”
She’d wielded a violin case when we’d picked her up from her college, but I hadn’t seen it since. “I’m surprised I haven’t heard you play.”
Instantly, her enthusiasm dropped. “Richard killed my violin. When I got back to the house and found my former best friend outside, about to leave with her dad, my uncle came steaming out. Taylor had given me the shock of my life, but I had no chance to question her before Richard appeared and started screaming at their car. They drove away. I bolted into the house and locked myself away until Gordain came, but in that time, Richard had gone on the warpath.”
Since we’d all relocated to the castle, I’d waited to hear this story. Now I knew why she hadn’t been so forthcoming—it must have been both confusing and terrifying.
“Anyway…” She grabbed her champagne and drained the glass, no one questioning the fact she was a few weeks shy of legal drinking age.
“I met Gordain and told him I wanted to grab my violin, but it was on a table in the main hall, and Richard was stalking about at the bottom of the stairs, yelling for me to come out. Gordain told me it was too risky to try.”
“And Richard smashed it?” My stomach dropped in disgust at the scene.
“I heard it break and knew exactly what my uncle had done. Gordain had to carry me away because I wanted to fly at him and make him suffer.” Ella’s voice was in danger of breaking, but she swallowed the emotion.
“It was my mother’s, the instrument. Richard knew that.
It wasn’t even that valuable because she’d learned on it when she was a teenager, but it sounded beautiful… ”
“And it was personal to her. And to you,” I finished. “I’m so sorry.”
“I am, too. But,” she perked up, “on the positive side, before we left, we threw rocks through Richard’s precious car’s windscreen. Gordain’s idea, and it helped to make me feel better.”
“Gordain is a good man.” I threw my arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug. “And we’ll be a good family.”
She hugged me back then stood, eyeing where Mattie had emerged from behind a changing room curtain. “He is a good man. Too good, if anything. Now come and try a few of these on, and we’ll make a start on the day.”
In our four-poster bed a few nights later, James idly ran his fingers through my curls, every touch of my scalp warming me, every light pull making me want to drag his mouth to mine.
It turned out he was much better at resisting me than I was at convincing him.
The wedding dress shopping had been successful in the first store, and I’d chosen the second dress I’d tried—a gorgeous and very expensive ivory gown, strapless, with a tight waist, an hourglass shape fitted around my hips and down to mid-thigh, which then flared out in a full, lace skirt.
I’d fallen in love with it on the hanger, and Mattie had nearly cried when I’d put it on.
I’d gone home feeling sentimental and had been content to cuddle James that night.
But the next, I’d kissed him senseless, until we both panted with lust. The night after, he’d been out on the estate, fixing something with Callum and his brothers, and he’d come home smelling of cold, fresh air, and with a blaze of fire in his eyes.
He’d carried me to bed and laid me out, kissing my mouth, throat, and shoulders until I’d become a writhing wreck.
But still, he refused to go any further.
Tonight was different again. I was spooked by a strange idea that had popped into my head.
I’d sat with Mattie and talked about her move to the Highlands, and the practicalities of her selling the house we both lived in.
We agreed that, after both our weddings were done, we’d travel back together and empty the place.
It was a strange end-of-an-era sort of conversation, and we’d hugged it out.
Then my friend had confided a secret.
She and Callum were trying for a family right away. Mattie commented on how coming off the pill might mean a delay in her getting pregnant, and I’d grabbed my pill packet and read the pamphlet. Then nearly swallowed my tongue having to hide my shock.
I’d been incredibly stupid. Me, the child whose parents never wanted her, had played fast and loose with rules I should’ve known like the back of my hand.
On my first visit to the Highlands, I’d been sick, and that impacted the effectiveness of the pill. Then, on the morning Richard arrived at Belvedere, I’d been almost twelve hours late in taking that day’s dose.
Maybe on their own, these mistakes wouldn’t have mattered, but I’d used no other protection with James. I’d revelled in the feeling of having him bare inside me, loving the new sensation and wanting the ultimate high of being with him in every way possible.
But even that wasn’t the biggest problem.
No. I’d finished my pill packet days ago. And I hadn’t gotten my period. Normally, my cycle went like clockwork, but nothing had happened. No ache in my lower back, nothing to tell me it was on its way.
So I knew. I lay in James’s arms, his low voice telling me all kinds of sweet things, gently caressing and teasing, while I could only think of one thing.
If things didn’t get moving in the next couple of days, I could be pregnant.