2. Gabe
2
GABE
I want to kiss her.
I want to lean down the mere five inches between us and press my lips to hers. Would she freak out? Would she punch me in the arm and tell me to quit messing around, or would she participate in the meshing of our lips and give me everything I could ever want?
Because I can’t kiss her, not yet, not until I tell her the other thing that is weighing on me. “I’ve missed you, Chrissy.”
She puts her other hand against my chest. “It’s only been two days.”
I cover her hand with mine, holding it against my chest. “Two days of you being mad at me.”
She nods at the nurses walking by and then steps back, putting some distance between us. “Come on, let’s go to an exam room and I’ll clean that cut out.”
I follow behind her, but there’s no way I’m just letting this go. She can’t avoid me for two days and not talk to me about it. I know I messed up, and I’m here to make it right.
She puts me in a chair and then goes to gather some supplies. When she comes back, I watch her inspect my cut, and she shakes her head. “Gabe, you need stitches for this.”
I shrug. “My favorite nurse was ignoring me. I couldn’t just have some random nurse cutting on me.”
“No one is cutting on you.”
She works on cleaning the cut, and as she works, she continues to talk. “And no matter if we’re mad at each other or not, you still come to me, Gabe. That’s how this works. You’re my best friend, and you think I was mad the other day? I’ll be really mad if you get some kind of infection because you’re too stubborn to come let me fix you up.”
“Honey, you’re the one avoiding my calls. I texted you.”
She finally looks at me, and her eyes fill with tears. “You didn’t tell me you were hurt. ”
“Fuck me, Chrissy. Don’t you dare cry, baby.”
She blinks, and a tear rolls down her cheek. I catch it with my finger and wipe it away. “I’m sorry, okay? No matter what, I’ll call you, okay? It wasn’t a big deal. I was climbing out a window and cut my arm. I’m okay. It doesn’t even hurt.”
I continue to ramble because I hate to see her upset. “I promise from now on, I will come to you if I’m hurt, okay?”
She sucks in a breath. “I’m going to give you a tetanus shot and sew you up.”
“Baby, you can do anything you want to me if you promise you won’t cry anymore.”
She waves me off. “I’m sorry. I hate it when we fight.”
I sit quietly and watch her work. She numbs me and winces when she starts the stitches. “I’m okay,” I assure her.
I refuse to show her any pain because I know she’ll feel bad about it.
When she’s almost done, I whisper, “I hate it when we argue too.”
She nods and sniffs. “I know.”
“Let’s not do it anymore,” I plead with her.
She finishes the last stitch and lifts her eyes to mine. “Fine. Don’t offer to have a baby with me. ”
Fuck me, why does my dick get hard just thinking about it? “I thought I was helping you.”
She huffs out a breath. “By offering to give me a baby?”
I lean back because I need to put some distance between us. From here, her cherry vanilla scent is filling my nose and making me delirious. “Yes, you told Dom that you wanted to have a baby. Personally, I thought I would be the first person you would think of in this situation.” My hands fist. “I mean, unless you’re seeing someone that I don’t know anything about.”
I can feel my heart racing in my chest, and I try to calm my breathing so she doesn’t notice, but the thought of her seeing someone makes me crazy. For years, I’d thought of her as my little sister. I don’t know what happened or exactly when it changed, but my feelings for her are different now. I want more than her friendship, but it’s not something I can talk to her about.
She cleans up the area, and I watch as she draws out a shot. Her silence is deafening, and I repeat the thought. “Are you seeing someone, Chrissy?”
She rolls her eyes. “Really? We live in Whiskey Run, Gabe. If I was dating someone, you would have already heard about it.”
I stand up. “Surely if you decided to date someone, you would tell me about it, and I wouldn’t have to find out from someone else.”
She walks toward me. “Drop your pants.”
Shit. I undo the snap on my pants and then pull the zipper down, which is not so easy to do since I have to pull it over my semi-hard cock. I turn to give her my hip. “Chrissy, tell me that if you date some asshole, you’d tell me.”
“Some asshole?”
She gives me the shot, and I don’t even flinch. “Fine. If you decide you’re going to date someone, you’ll tell me.”
She disposes of the needle. “Why would I?”
I growl. “Why wouldn’t you?”
She shrugs. “Well, the last date I went on, you showed up at the Whistler and dirty looked us the whole time.”
Slowly, I shake my head. “I didn’t dirty look you. I dirty looked the asshole that thought it was okay to touch you.”
Her mouth falls open, and she just stares at me.
“What? His hand was on your ass, Chrissy.”
She stomps her foot, and I try to not to smile because she looks so cute when she gets mad at me. “We were slow dancing, and his hand was on my lower back.”
“He. Was. Touching. You,” I say, enunciating every word.
She doesn’t back down. She takes a step toward me and gives it back to me. “We. Were. Dancing.”
“Are you going to tell me if you start seeing someone or not?” When she hesitates, I just smirk. “You know what, you don’t have to tell me. I’ll know.”
Her eyes widen. “What does that even mean, you’ll know?”
“Exactly what I said. If you start dating someone, I’ll know.”
She puts her hands on her hips. “Why do you care, Gabriel?”
“Because,” I start and then stop before I say too much. I take in a breath and then tell her part of the truth. “Because you’re my best friend, and I want to make sure you’re okay… you’re safe.”
Her voice softens. “This is Whiskey Run, Gabe. And I’m thirty-three years old. I can take care of myself.”
I reach up and tuck the hair that’s come out of her ponytail behind her ear. I shouldn’t touch her, but I can’t resist, and I put my palm to her cheek. “Honey, I know you can take care of yourself. I know you’re a strong woman who can do what you want. I just need to know that you’re okay and safe. I’m sorry if I’m overbearing, but when it comes to you…” I suck in a breath and let it out slowly. “I just can’t risk it.”
Whether she realizes it or not, she leans into my hand. As she blinks up at me, she whispers, “Okay, if I decide to date someone, you’ll be the first to know.”
I remove my hand from her face, put my hands on her shoulders, and spin us so my back is to the door. “Can I talk to you and you won’t get mad?”
She peeks around me to the door. “Are you blocking me from getting out?”
“I need you to listen to me.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “What do you want to say?”
I take a deep breath and hope what I’m about to say doesn’t set her off. I know it’s possible since she’s refused to talk to me for the last two days. “Why did you get so mad when I offered to have a baby with you?”
She opens her mouth to say something and then slams it shut. She looks over my shoulder. “Can’t we just forget it?”
I take a step toward her. “I would forget it, but I don’t want this between us. You feel pretty strongly about not having a baby with me, and well, I guess I just don’t want this to be weird, that’s all.”
She shifts from foot to foot and throws her hands up in the air. “You’re my best friend, Gabe.”
I wait for her to continue, and when she doesn’t, I nod my head. “Right… and you’re my best friend.”
She shakes her head side to side. “No, you don’t get it. You’re my best friend.”
I laugh. “I do get it, and you are my best friend.” I hold my hands up. “Okay, I think we’ve established that we are each other’s best friends. That’s no surprise to anyone.”
She doesn’t try to walk out, but she does take a few steps back, putting some distance between us. “Right, well, I can’t lose you.”
Did I hear her right? She can’t lose me? “I’m sorry… did you just say you can’t lose me?”
Her forehead creases, and she nods her head.
I take a step toward her. “But…”
She holds up her hands, and I stop in my tracks. “No, listen. If we were to have a baby together—as best friends—it would change everything. I can’t lose you, Gabe… I won’t.”
“But…” I try again, but she’s not having it.
She gets louder. “Stop. I don’t even want to discuss it. Look, yeah, I want kids, but I’m not going to do it and then have you resent me in a few years when you meet some woman that you want to have a family with. People don’t understand our relationship now… they definitely wouldn’t if we had a kid together.”
“Fuck them,” I say. “Who cares what anyone else thinks?”
Ever since Dom told me that Chrissy confessed to him that she wanted a kid, it’s been on my mind, and I’ve gone crazy thinking about it. In my mind, if we have a baby, it gives me a perfect excuse for us to be together. But as soon as I mentioned it, it was obvious she would never consider it.
She taps her foot stubbornly. “Look, I can do a lot of things, but I can’t deal with you resenting me one day.”
“Chrissy, baby, please listen to me.”
She looks at the clock on the wall. “Look, I need to get back to work.”
I don’t move because I can’t let her walk away from me right now. She reaches up and wraps her hand around my arm. “When Macy was born, it got me thinking, and I got baby fever, that’s all. It’s not anything I’m going to jump into. You know how I plan and think about everything. I’m not going to do something without thinking it through. And you know that I will talk to you before I make any decisions. Okay?”
My shoulders relax a little. “You promise?”
She puts her hands at my waist and lets them slide around my back. She holds on to me, and I wrap her up in my arms. Her whisper is soft, but it brings me comfort. “I promise.”
I hold on to her, and even though I don’t want to let her go, I know she needs to get back to work. I squeeze her tightly and lean my cheek on the top of her head. “I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass.”
Her body shakes as she laughs. “That’s one of the things I love about you.”
I clench my eyes and let her words float through me before releasing her and stepping back. “Go get to work. Thanks for patching me up, honey.”
She backs out of the room. “Anytime… you know that.”
I follow her down the hall, and after another bye, I walk out of the hospital knowing that I’m leaving part of my heart behind.