10. Gabe
10
GABE
Bethany spins in my arms again, and she’s laughing, completely clueless to the fact that I’m just standing here as she dances around me. I’m staring at Mark and Chrissy, and it’s taking everything in me to stay where I’m at when what I want to do is go over there and push them apart.
The dance floor is getting busier, and I’m having to jostle Bethany and me around so I don’t lose sight of Chrissy. She’s glaring at me now, so her date must be going badly.
Bethany tugs at my shirt. “Hey, so why did you agree to this date?”
Still looking over Bethany’s head, I shrug. “Because Chrissy asked me to.”
“Right. But you don’t want to be here. ”
I finally look at Bethany. “Look, it’s not you.”
She laughs and flips her hair. “Oh, I know it’s not me.”
I’ve always liked Chrissy’s friend. She’s fun to be around and always has a great attitude about things. “Right, well, Chrissy asked me to go on a double date. She had a rough day at work, and I couldn’t tell her no and all that, so yeah, here we are.”
She looks over at Mark and Chrissy. “So you think they’re hitting it off?”
I grunt. “They better fuckin’ not be.”
She laughs. “Okay, there, fire captain. Relax a little. I like you, but I’m not covering up any murders for you or anything. So here’s what I’m thinking. Let’s go cut in.”
She doesn’t have to tell me twice. “I’m sorry, Bethany. You’re an amazing woman—”
She cuts me off. “Yeah, yeah, we both know I am. Just remember you owe me one.”
We move closer to Chrissy and Mark, and Bethany slides between them. “Can I cut in?”
She doesn’t wait for an answer; she just maneuvers herself between Chrissy and Mark and starts dancing with him. She slides away from us, and Chrissy is just staring at me angrily. “Really?”
I hold my hands up. “Dance with me? ”
“No.”
I take a step toward her. “Please?”
She rolls her eyes and puts her hands on my shoulders. I put mine on her waist and tug her toward me. I know I shouldn’t, and it’s pure torture having her this close to me, but I can’t deal with her being angry. “Are you mad at me?”
She won’t look up at me. “What the fuck, Gabe?”
If I didn’t know already, I know now. Chrissy barely ever cusses, and the fact she is now tells me she’s pissed. “What?”
She laughs. “Don’t what me. Did you threaten to kill Mark if he touched me?”
“Please, he knows I wouldn’t kill him.”
She slaps my chest. “So you did threaten him?”
“I did, and I don’t feel bad about it.”
She finally leans her head back to look up at me. “What were you thinking? Why?”
Shit, I know I’m digging myself in deep. “You know how I am about you, and you asked me to fix you up on a date. Did you really think I would just fix you up and not lay down any rules?”
She stops swaying side to side and looks up at me. “I feel like I’m just repeating myself. I’m thirty-three years old. You’re not my father. You’re not my brother. You’re not responsible for me.”
Any other time it wouldn’t bother me if she said I’m not her brother, but right now, it bothers me. She’s acting like I’m nothing to her and like I’m just supposed to stand back while some guy paws her. At this point, we’ve both stopped dancing, and I’m just trying to calm my racing heart. I know why she’s mad, and I understand it, but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept. “Okay, so—” I’m shoved by someone in the back, and I instinctively put my arms around Chrissy.
She pushes against my chest, and right at that moment, Mark and Bethany come over to us. “Hey guys, so we’re going to get out of here.”
“But—” Chrissy starts.
Bethany waves her off. “Is that okay? I mean, if you don’t want us to, we can stay, but Mark and I were talking about going over to the drive-in and catching the new action flick.”
Chrissy nods her head and looks at me. “Gabe… do you have something to say to Mark?”
She’s giving me that look and she doesn’t even have to explain what she wants from me. I turn to Mark and hold my hand out. “I’m sorry.”
Chrissy clears her throat, and I grunt. “Right. Well, I’m sorry for threatening you. Your job is safe.”
When I stop this time, Chrissy stomps her foot. “Gabriel.”
“Fine. I’m not going to kill you either.”
Mark starts to stutter, “Sure, boss. So, uh, we’re going to get out of here.” He nods at Chrissy. “It was nice meeting you, ma’am.”
He and Bethany walk away hand in hand, and Chrissy points to the tables. “Can we sit down for a minute?”
I walk behind her, and I have an uneasy pit in my stomach. This doesn’t feel right, and when we sit down, the way Chrissy is fidgeting makes me even more nervous. “Talk to me.”
She wraps her hands together and holds them on top of the table top. “We need to talk, Gabe. A serious conversation.” She looks around the bar at the people laughing, talking, and having a good time, and then she looks at me with a grimace on her face. “Maybe we should do this somewhere else.”
I’m too impatient for that. “Just tell me.”
She opens her mouth and then closes it again and shakes her head.
“Look, I know I probably went a little overboard. I shouldn’t have threatened Mark, but I wasn’t going to just fix you up with some guy that—”
She cuts me off. “Why not? Why couldn’t you just fix me up with a guy?”
I rest my elbows on the table and lean toward her. “Because I couldn’t. I want you safe.”
She rolls her eyes. “Safe? This was a double date that you were going to be at the whole entire time. How would I not be safe? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Chrissy, listen, you know how I am about you, and you can get mad at me all you want, but I can’t change who I am.”
“No, you listen to me, Gabe. Do you have any idea how it makes me feel that you were in a relationship? You were happy, and because of me, she broke it off with you. She broke your heart, and it was all my fault.”
I blurt out a laugh. “Broke my heart? Please, honey, we were fucking. That’s all that was, and it was three years ago.”
She leans back in her chair and crosses her arms over her chest. “We need… we need to think about the future, and if our relationship is going to hold yo u back from having a fulfilling relationship, then we need to fix that.”
I hold my hand up. ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is nonsense, Chrissy.”
She’s indignant and shakes her head. “It’s not nonsense. No woman in her right mind is going to be okay with you dropping them to save the day for me. No woman is going to be okay with you… with you sleeping in my bed!”
She yells the last part, and the people all around us stop talking and look at us. Chrissy’s face is bright red, and I should feel like an ass because I’m glad she just announced I slept in her bed. It will be all through town before the end of the day tomorrow.
She leans closer and starts to whisper. “Gabe, we can’t keep going on like this. It’s like you’ve put your life on hold for me, and that’s not right.”
I reach for her, and she pulls her hand back. “No, listen to me. Do you remember the first time I was supposed to be adopted and I ran away because I didn’t want to go?”
With my stomach in knots, I nod. I hate thinking about our past. Growing up for us was hard, but the fact I had Chrissy and my brother and foster brothers made it easier. Still, none of us want to think about our lives in the foster home.
“You promised me then that you wouldn’t let them take me. You promised me that you would always take care of me. You were twelve years old at the time, and thinking about it now, that was a huge promise to make as a twelve-year-old boy.”
I squeeze my fists. “What are you saying, Chrissy?”
She lifts her head, and I can see the quiver of her chin. “It means that it’s time I release you from your promise.”
I shake my head. “Fuck that.”
She holds a hand up. “Gabe, listen to me.”
I reach for her this time, grab her hand, and hold it between both of mine. “No, you listen to me. You can ask me to do a lot of things, but stopping me from protecting you is not one of them.”
She looks so sad. “Gabriel, I’m not asking you to stop protecting me. I’m asking you to move on with your life. I don’t want to hold you back, and you deserve to be happy.”
“You’re not holding me back… I am happy.”
She shakes her head. “You know what I mean.”
She pulls her hands back from mine and crosses her arms over her chest again. “We need a break, Gabriel.”
Panic starts to set in, and I grip the edge of the table. Everything inside of me is telling me to pick her up, throw her over my shoulder, and carry her out of here. Should I tell her that I love her? And not just how a foster brother loves a foster sister. This is different, and just the thought of losing her is making me crazy. “No.”
She blinks at me, confused. “No? What do you mean, no?”
I point between the two of us. “It means that a break is not an option for us.”
Right at that moment, my phone starts to ring, and I hit the decline button without even looking at it. Not a second later, my phone rings again. “What?”
“Hey boss! Two crews are out, and we have another call. There’s a wreck out near the highway. Want me to have Jasper’s Fire Department take it?”
“Where at on the highway?”
“At the edge of Whiskey Run.”
Fuck! “We’ll take it. I’ll be there in five.” I hang up the phone. “I have to go.”
Chrissy has already stood up, and she walks with me through the bar and outside. She doesn’t argue with me when I walk her to her car. She opens the door, and before she gets in, she tells me, “Be careful, Gabe.”
I nod. “This isn’t over. We’re not on a break. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I wait until she’s in her seat, and I shut the door. I want to kiss her. I want to tell her I love her and that’s why a break is not going to work for me, but I can’t do that right now. No, I have to go to work. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be talking to her later because it’s time to come clean. There’s no way I can stand by and watch her with another man. Never again.