19. Chrissy
19
CHRISSY
I laugh as I lie on Gabe’s chest.
After the first time, we were hungry, so we ate sandwiches. I hadn’t been to the store in a while, so we used whatever I had in the cupboard. We’re both exhausted, and you would have thought we’d both be asleep, but we showered together, which led to another round of sex and then another shower. Now we’re both lying here, and it seems that neither one of us wants to go to sleep.
He yawns and says, “We should talk.” The serious way he says it has me tensing.
We’re long overdue on this talk, and even though I’ve denied being scared, the talk petrifies me. What if I feel more for him than he does me? What if we date for three months and it doesn’t work out and I’ve lost his friendship? Or what if he does meet someone else? I’d have to leave Whiskey Run.
All of this is overwhelming to me, so I tell him, “We don’t have to talk about it. Can’t we just enjoy it?”
He pulls me tighter against his chest and kisses the top of my head. “No, because I’m not going to leave here again until we talk and we know exactly where each of us stands, Chrissy.”
At that moment, Gabe’s phone rings.
It’s early morning, and the sun isn’t even up. Early morning phone calls are hardly ever a good thing.
“Fuck!” he grunts.
And then my phone rings too.
We look at each other, roll to the opposite sides of the bed, and answer our phones. When I see it’s the director of the hospital, I know it’s going to be bad. “Hey, Dr. Paxton. Everything okay?”
Normally, I only get called in by the charge nurse, so this has to be something bigger. “We need all hands on deck. Whiskey Mountain is on fire, and we’re getting inundated with patients.”
Instantly, I’m out of bed. “Oh my, okay, I’ll get ready and come on in. ”
“Thank you. See you soon.”
I hang up the phone just as Gabe stands up. “I have to go back in,” he announces.
I nod worriedly. “Me too.”
He’s tugging on his pants. “Want me to drop you off at the hospital?”
“No, it’s okay, I don’t know how long I’ll be there.” I wrap my loose hair in a bun. “So you’re going in?”
It’s a question, but it’s a loaded question. I don’t have to ask because I know the answer. The mountain is on fire, and of course that’s where he’s going to be. It’s always been hard when he leaves on calls, and this time is no easier.
He tugs his shirt down. “Yeah, we’ve been called in to help. The mountain…”
His voice trails off, and I have a sick feeling in my stomach. We both finish getting ready, and I can tell that he’s trying to time it so that we leave at the same time.
When we walk out the door, he’s carrying my bag. He puts it in the passenger seat and holds the door open for me. “We still need to talk.”
I nod. “I know we do.”
I reach up, put my hands around his neck, and pull him down. I kiss him and put everything I have into it. All the feelings I’m too afraid to say out loud, I try to show him in this kiss. His hands go to my lower back, and he pulls me to him until our bodies are flush together. Breathless, I break away. “Please be safe.”
He nods, searching my eyes. “I will. And you take care of yourself. Eat something, and try not to overdo it.” He shakes his head regretfully. “I should have let you sleep.”
I stroke his broad chest. “You’re the one I’m worried about. You didn’t have any sleep and now you have to go…” I suck in a breath and try to calm myself. “Fight a fire. I’m sorry, Gabe, I wasn’t thinking.”
He tsks me. “No, none of that. Trust me, I enjoyed what we did a lot more than if I was just sleeping. I’ll be fine. What about you? You didn’t sleep either.”
I slide my hand down his chest. “You don’t have to worry about me. You’re the one running straight to an out-of-control fire.”
He doesn’t confirm it, but he doesn’t deny it either. Hell, this is hard. “Promise that you’ll come back to me, Gabe.”
He cups my face between his hands. “I will, and when I do, we’re going to talk. Okay? ”
I nod and whisper, “Okay.”
He helps me into the car, and then I start to back out as he gets into his truck. It’s not until I’m almost to Jasper Hospital that I realize I never told him I loved him.
I pick up my phone to do it, but then I realize that I shouldn’t do it over the phone. He deserves to hear it in person with me looking into his eyes.
As soon as I get to the hospital, I barely have time to stow my bag in the break room before I’m caught up in treating patients. By midafternoon, I take a short break. I grab a sandwich from the cafeteria, and I’m mid-chew when the television switches to news coverage of the fire. I’m stunned seeing the mountain and all the chaos.
When the picture changes and the words Breaking News flash on the screen, I move closer to listen.
“This is Katie Peterson reporting live from the foothills of Whiskey Mountain, where a wildfire continues to rage. Fire crews have been battling the blaze for over 24 hours now. It was reported yesterday that it was 95 percent contained, but with winds picking up overnight, there is only 20 percent containment. Just moments ago, we received breaking news: A crew of firefighters has become trapped on the mountain. Details are still coming in—”
She holds her earpiece to her ear. “Yes, okay, it has been confirmed that there are four firefighters trapped. Details are still coming in, but please stay tuned, and we will bring you the latest updates.”
I drop the remaining piece of my sandwich into the trash and frantically pull my phone from my pocket. I have no missed calls and no texts. I call Gabe and hold my breath, hoping and praying that he’s going to answer the phone. When it goes straight to voicemail, I get a pit in my stomach. It’s him. I don’t know how or why I think it, but I know it’s him.
I start walking toward the ER and dial King’s number on the way.
He answers on the first ring. He barely gets my name out and I start. “The fire… I can’t get ahold of Gabe… there are trapped firefighters.”
I can barely form a sentence, and King asks me, “Where are you at?”
I grip my phone tighter. “I’m at the hospital.”
King is normally the guy that is in complete control, but I can hear the fear in his voice. “Okay, listen to me, Chrissy, and I don’t want you to panic. ”
Oh God, it’s him. I was right. Gabe is trapped. “It’s him, isn’t it? Gabe is trapped.”
“I’m here on the mountain already. I talked to Walker, and he has air support on the way.”
I gasp. “Oh my God.”
King tries to soothe me. “Honey, listen, we’re not going to lose another brother.”
I lean against the wall and stare at the ceiling. “He’s not my brother, King. He’s my everything.”
King blows out a breath. “I know, Chrissy. I’m going to get him out. I promise. I need you to stay there, and I’ll bring him to you, okay?”
“King, I’m coming there. I want to be close.”
“Don’t!” he demands. “Please, don’t. This is dangerous, and I can’t be worrying about you too. Plus, Gabe will kill me if he knew I brought you up here. Please do as I ask, and I promise you that I will bring him to you.”
“Okay.”
He says he has to go and then I hang up the phone. I’m being paged over the loudspeaker, and I know there are people in the hospital that need my help right now, and there are more people coming in. Somehow, I have to pull myself together and do my job even though it’s the last thing I want to be doing .
I wish Gabe and I had ignored the phone calls this morning and were still wrapped up in each other’s arms in my bed. I would give anything to go back to that moment. Again, for at least the hundredth time today, I think back to when he left and I didn’t tell him I loved him. God, why didn’t I tell him I loved him?