Chapter 35
CHAPTER 35
NICK
M y heart races, a mix of excitement and apprehension coursing through my veins. This moment feels pivotal, a turning point in our relationship. I’m about to share a piece of my world with them, a world of magic and wonder that has been my life for so long. But with that comes the weight of responsibility and the fear of how they might react.
I believe in Penelope, though. She’s stronger now than she was three Christmases ago. Noelle, on the other hand, is going to love this.
As we approach the large barn, I take a deep breath. This is it. No turning back now.
“Are you ready?” I ask, my hand resting on the heavy sliding door.
Noelle nods vigorously. “Yes, yes, yes!”
Penelope’s response is more measured, a soft “We’re ready” accompanied by a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
With a deep breath, I slide the door open, revealing the warm, inviting interior of the barn. The sweet scent of fresh hay mingles with the unique, musky aroma of reindeer. Cheerful brass lanterns hang from exposed beams, casting a golden glow throughout the space. The familiar sights and smells wash over me, calming my nerves slightly.
“Noelle, Penelope,” I say, unable to keep the pride and affection from my voice. “I’d like you to meet someone very special to me.”
From the shadows of a spacious stall emerges Rudy, his coat a rich, glossy brown. As magnificent as he is, it’s his nose that catches and holds their attention - glowing a bright, cheery red. I watch their faces, gauging their reactions. Noelle’s gasp of wonder brings a smile to my face, while Penelope’s wide-eyed amazement makes my heart swell.
“It’s Rudolph,” Noelle whispers in awe, and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Close, ice princess,” I say. “This is Rudy, Rudolph’s grandson. He’s my very special friend.”
Rudy approaches, his movements graceful and deliberate. He stops in front of Noelle, lowering his head to her level. My chest tightens with emotion as I watch Noelle reach out a tentative hand to stroke his velvety muzzle.
“He’s magic, isn’t he?” Noelle asks, her voice filled with certainty rather than question .
I nod. “He sure is. Rudy, want to show them what you can do?”
Rudy, always eager to show off, takes a few steps back. With a gentle snort, he lifts off the ground, hovering a few feet in the air before bouncing up and then through the rafters.
Penelope gasps, and her hands fly to cover her mouth.
Noelle’s squeal of delight fills the barn. “He’s flying!” she exclaims, clapping her hands. Her joy is infectious, and I find myself grinning from ear to ear.
I watch Penelope out of the corner of my eye. She’s seeing magic, and it’s a lot to process. I want to go to her, to hold her and assure her that everything’s okay, but I hold back, giving her space to absorb it all.
As Rudy settles back onto the ground, Noelle rushes forward to hug him around the neck. The reindeer nuzzles her gently, his nose glowing even brighter. The sight warms my heart.
Penelope hangs back, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. She’s grappling with the reality of what she’s seeing. Magic is real. Flying reindeer are real. Santa is real. And the man she loves is part of it all. It’s a lot to take in, and I worry about how she’s processing it all.
I make my way to her side, slipping an arm around her waist. “What do you think?” I ask softly, searching her face.
She leans into me, seeking my warmth and stability, and I tighten my hold on her. “It’s... incredible,” she breathes. “I never imagined... I mean, I knew, but seeing it... ”
I press a kiss to her temple. “I know. It’s a lot to take in.”
We stand there for a moment, watching Noelle interact with Rudy. The reindeer is gentle with her. I trust him.
“Want to meet him properly?” I ask Penelope, giving her a gentle squeeze.
She nods, a mixture of nervousness and excitement in her eyes. “I’d love to.”
I lead her over to Rudy, who turns his attention to us. “Rudy, this is Penelope,” I say, my voice soft and warm. “She’s very special to me.”
Rudy extends his neck, bringing his nose close to Penelope. She hesitates for just a moment before reaching out to stroke his neck. The moment her hand makes contact, Rudy’s nose glows a little brighter, and I hear Penelope’s small gasp of surprise.
“He likes you,” I say, unable to keep the joy from my voice. Seeing Penelope interact with this magical part of my world feels right, like two pieces of my life fitting together perfectly.
“He’s beautiful,” Penelope murmurs, her fingers gently exploring the soft fur of Rudy’s face.
Rudy preens.
I laugh. “Tell him again. He likes compliments.”
Penelope grins. “You’re handsome, aren’t you? Probably the most handsome reindeer in the sky.”
Rudy looks around her to me and flicks an ear. I like her.
“Me too,” I tell him .
“Can I feed him, Nick? Please?” Noelle tugs at my sweater.
Rudy comes over and grabs my sweater with his teeth. Can she, please?
“You are shameless,” I tell him.
I lead Noelle to a box filled with apples - Rudy’s favorite treats. I show her how to hold her hand flat, a piece of apple resting on her palm. Rudy approaches gently, his lips tickling her hand as he takes the treat. Noelle’s giggles echo through the rafters.
I glance over at Penelope, who’s watching us with a soft smile. But there’s something in her eyes, a shadow of doubt or worry, that makes my heart clench.
I find myself lingering, not quite ready to end this magical moment. Noelle is still chattering excitedly, peppering me with questions about Rudy and the other reindeer.
“Do they all have red noses? Can they all fly? What do they eat? Do they like cookies?”
I ruffle her hair affectionately. “Not all of them have red noses, but they can all fly. They eat special reindeer food, and they don’t eat cookies.”
Rudy swishes his tail: Speak for the other reindeer. I like cookies.
As we walk back to the Bazaar, Noelle skipping ahead, and I fall into step beside Penelope. I want to reach for her hand, to feel her warmth against my skin, but something holds me back. There’s a tension in the air, unspoken questions and concerns hovering between us .
“Are you okay?” I ask softly, studying her profile. “I know it’s a lot to take in.”
Penelope is quiet for a moment, her brow furrowed in thought. When she speaks, her voice is careful, measured. “It’s incredible, Nick. Truly amazing. I just... I’m trying to wrap my head around it all. Around what it means.”
I see the conflict in her eyes, the war between her feelings for me and her fears about this new, magical world. I want to sweep her into my arms, to kiss away her doubts, and show her how perfect our life could be. But I know it’s not that simple.
“I’m scared, Nick,” she whispers, her voice barely audible over the soft crunch of snow beneath our feet. “I’m scared of what this means for us, for Noelle. I’m scared of not being enough for this magical world of yours.”
How could she ever think she’s not enough? She’s everything to me, her and Noelle both. They’re the missing piece I’ve been searching for, the warmth and love that makes the magic of Christmas complete.
I reach for her then, pulling her into my arms. She comes willingly, burying her face in my chest. I can feel her trembling slightly.
Finally, she speaks, her voice soft but steady. “I love you, Nick. And I love the magic you’ve brought into our lives. I just need time to adjust, to figure out how we fit into all of this.”
For a moment, the world seems to stand still. Those three words “I love you” echo in my mind, setting off a cascade of emotions that threaten to overwhelm me. My heart races and a warmth spreads through my chest as if the Northern Lights themselves have taken up residence inside me.
This is the first time she’s said it. The first time I’ve heard those words from her lips, and the significance of the moment is not lost on me. I’ve known for a while now that I love her, that she and Noelle have become the center of my world. But hearing her say it, especially in the midst of all this uncertainty and change, is exactly what I needed to hear.
I want to hop in a sleigh and shout it from the rooftops to let the whole world know that Penelope loves me. But I also sense the vulnerability in her words, the fear and uncertainty that linger beneath the surface. She loves me, yes, but she’s also scared. Scared of the changes, of the unknown future that stretches before us. And in that moment, I love her even more for her honesty, for trusting me with her fears as well as her heart.
Relief washes over me, not just because she loves me, but because she’s willing to try, to give us a chance despite her reservations. I pull her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair.
“We have all the time in the world, my love,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. The term of endearment slips out naturally, and it feels right.
I want to say so much more. I want to tell her how much I love her, how she and Noelle have filled a void in my life. I want to promise her the moon and stars, to assure her that everything will be perfect. But I know that’s not what she needs right now. She needs time, and space, and understanding.
As we stand there, holding each other, I feel a tugging at my coat. We look down to see Noelle, her cheeks rosy from the cold, her eyes bright with excitement.
“Can we go see Rudy again tomorrow?” she asks, bouncing on her toes.
Penelope and I exchange a look, and I see a smile tugging at her lips. Despite her fears and doubts, she can’t deny the joy this magical world brings to Noelle.
“We’ll see, sweetheart,” Penelope says, reaching down to smooth Noelle’s hair. “For now, how about we go inside and find a cookie for you to decorate?”
Noelle cheers, racing ahead towards the doors.
Life may not be figured out, but right now, it’s beautiful.