Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
WAYLON
After the third interruption by a well-meaning Majestican stopping by to either congratulate me on my marriage, inquire about my foolish decision to marry an outsider, or thank me for my “sweet husband’s generosity” for various and sundry help around town, I was ready to tear out my hair.
For the sake of my scalp, I decided to leave the office and head home.
“Bernice, I’ll be back in the morning. If you happen to see Taza Daggett, please ask him to give me a call. I could use his help with roundup this weekend.”
She looked up from her computer. “Sure thing. Maybe swing by Lake Sports on your way home. Jackson has those papers ready for your signature.”
I nodded and headed out, pulling into the lot in front of the sports store before walking past the colorful row of kayaks to head inside. As usual this time of year, the place was hopping. Snowmelt made for big water, which brought kayakers and white water rafters out earlier than the hikers and climbers. Thanks to snow sports, river runs in the spring, and the summer tourist season with Yellowstone visitors, Lake and Jackson managed to do good business most of the year.
Past a rack of new Majestic and Yellowstone T-shirts, Lake McNair was unboxing sporty water bottles with a familiar cycling company logo on them. When he saw me, his face lit up. “You didn’t need to come down. Jackson was going to bring the papers by in a little bit.”
“I’m on my way home and figured I’d stop by. Is he in the office?”
“Yeah. This way.” He directed me toward the back and walked with me. “Saw your handsome husband a little while ago. He was in here buying us out of footwear.”
My heart did its usual little blip at the use of the word husband in relation to me. In relation to Silas . “Oh?”
He nodded. “Got a nice pair of Zamberlans for hiking. For riding…” He glanced sideways at me. “I hope you don’t mind, but I talked him into a proper cowboy boot. He wanted something short, but…”
I winced. “No. Too many snakes and brambles and shit.”
“Right. That’s what I said. Told him you’d tear me a new one if I sent him home with shitty boots.”
I wondered if it really mattered. If Silas would stick around long enough to get any good use from a pair of good boots. Even though his interference in town had been bugging the hell out of me, the thought of him going back East made me feel slightly nauseous.
When we entered Jackson’s office, he was frowning at his computer. Lake gestured me to the chair opposite the desk. “Babe, Waylon’s here to sign the papers for AdventureSmash.”
Jackson’s entire face transformed when he shifted his attention from work to his husband. I’d always been a little envious of their relationship, assuming I wished for the same passionate devotion someday. But now I wondered. Was there something about the fact both of them were men that made me envious? Had my subconscious somehow known I had an attraction to men that went deeper than mere curiosity? Was I envious of their relationship, or could I be attracted to one or both of them?
I shifted nervously while doubts and confusion tumbled helplessly through my brain. Thankfully, the paperwork for their shop extension during the AdventureSmash exhibition was simple enough not to require multiple read-throughs. I signed it quickly and stood up.
“You’re all set,” I said stupidly.
Jackson frowned. “You okay?”
“Yeah, ’course.”
He and Lake exchanged a look, but I didn’t stick around long enough to interpret it. “Sorry, I’m due at the ranch,” I mumbled on my way out.
For once, the drive home was too short. I wondered for the hundredth time whether asking Silas to stick around had been the best idea ever or the worst. The addition of my mental stress with him here seemed to have multiplied my responsibilities. Maybe it was time to face facts and admit that Foster was right: my divorce was going to cause drama regardless of when it happened. Why not go ahead and bite the bullet so I could get past this confusion and frustration that much quicker?
When I pulled up to the barn, the first thing I saw was Silas’s broad back and muscular shoulders, golden brown in the sun. He was wearing one of my utilitarian tank tops, shoved haphazardly into a pair of jeans. Unlike the pair he’d worn when he’d arrived in Majestic, these jeans fit him as perfectly as if they’d been tailored by the god of ass and thigh.
I stared at him for a full minute as he leaned against the fence, watching Natana work in the ring with Letty. Bunny stood close to him inside the paddock, nosing his biceps periodically to remind him she was a good girl who deserved treats and kisses.
He reached out to run teasing fingers along her cheek and down her nose without taking his eyes off Natana as she moved to stand on Letty’s saddle. It was obvious Silas was comfortable with horses, which made little sense for a man from the city.
My annoyance with his meddling melted like spring frost in full sun. For some reason, just looking at him had the capacity to completely derail me.
Was this what it was like to meet a cult leader? Where suddenly your rational brain, a lifetime of lived experience, and even your gut completely abandoned you, leaving you at the mercy of a charismatic stun gun?
I watched as he let out a loud whoop as Natana successfully jumped from the saddle, somersaulting in midair before landing on her feet. She turned and grinned at him before taking a dramatic bow with her hands outstretched. Natana Whiteplume really was a beautiful woman, and maybe I’d missed an incredible opportunity by never asking her out. But watching her flushed and happy, enjoying her biggest passion in life, was nothing compared to the feeling I got from simply glancing at Silas Concannon’s back.
If I’d ever found Lake McNair or Jackson Painter attractive, it was nothing compared to how I found Silas. I was stupid for him. Completely and utterly in thrall. Lust was a stronger power than I’d ever imagined or experienced before.
As I stepped out of my truck and began walking toward him, a warm breeze brought with it the familiar scents of hay, horse, and sunshine. Despite my annoyance, all I could think about was taking Silas home and getting him naked. Licking every bare inch of him and sucking his cock into my mouth. Grabbing his ass and grinding into him until I could mark his belly with my cum. Leaving his mouth raw and red from beard burn and yanking his hair until it stood on end.
When he turned around, his easy smile faded instantly to a neutral expression. “Hi.”
My stomach curdled with nerves. “Hey.”
Silas’s eyes flicked briefly toward Natana before he moved toward me and pulled me into his arms and kissed me. It was awkward and performative, stiff and meaningless.
I wanted to scream and rail. Hell, I wanted to punch him in the fucking face.
“Hey,” I said again stupidly.
“Hi.”
Fuck.
Thankfully, Natana called out with a greeting and a few comments about Letty’s performance, giving me an excuse to pull away.
I walked to the fence to give Bunny some attention while I spoke to Natana. I felt Silas move behind me. Every square inch of my body was attuned to his. I knew where he stood, and I felt his confusion like an uncomfortable itch on my skin.
After another minute, Silas entered the ring to retrieve Bunny. He led her out of the ring and toward the barn. I didn’t even realize I’d followed him until Natana called after me with a laugh. “Guess I’ll see you later, then.”
I waved a hand at her and followed Silas into the darkened aisle. The familiar scent of the barn grounded me. Silas clipped Bunny to a nearby hook and proceeded to untack her, even though I could tell from his movements he didn’t really know what he was doing.
“Need help?” I offered, stepping up to offer Bunny some reassurance while Silas fumbled with the stirrups.
“Natana showed me what to do.”
I bit my tongue against correcting him as he forgot a few steps. It hardly mattered as long as Bunny herself was well cared for. Once he had the saddle and blanket off, I handed him a curry comb and took another for myself to start on her other side.
We worked together in silence for a while before Silas finally broke. “Are you still pissed at me for helping?”
When he said it that way, it sounded ridiculous.
Almost as ridiculous as it actually was.
Instead of firing off my mouth the way I was inclined to do, I bit my tongue and took a breath. “Maybe a little. Mostly, I’m just tired. It’s been a long week.” I let out a breath so deep it might’ve stirred the leaves in the trees. “And apparently, I’m still not getting things done the way I should since you’re finding all this stuff to help with.”
He leaned around Bunny’s long nose and glared at me. His stare was intense on a regular day, but now? Now, it would have been intimidating as hell… if it wasn’t also sexy as fuck. His lips pursed, and he uttered a single word. “No.”
“No?” The arrogant son of a bitch. Just like that, my annoyance came rushing back. “What do you mean no ?”
“I mean, I have never heard anyone say something so wrongheaded in my entire life, Waylon Fletcher. You’re one man. You cannot be everything to everyone. And you know what? I don’t give a shit if you don’t want me to fix things for you. I don’t care if all you really need is my presence or whatever?—”
I scowled. What the heck was he talking about?
“—because I’ll be damned if I stand around for the next two months watching my husband kill himself trying to be everyone’s hero.”
“I don’t want to be a hero.” I stepped closer and jabbed a finger into his chest. “I’m doing the things that need done, Silas, because they’re my responsibility. I can’t ask anyone else to do them because I can’t count on anyone else to do them. Who’s gonna find a new hand to help herd two hundred head of trail horses at the end of the week, huh?” Jab . “Who’s gonna test climb Clara in the next five days?” Jab. “Who’s gonna get someone to swap out the transmission on a twenty-year-old pickup truck without fucking charging me more than the two hundred bucks I have in my checking account right now?”
Silas grabbed my hand before I could jab him again. “I am,” he growled in a low voice.
“You? You don’t know how?—”
“I already have someone coming to help with roundup. I’m sure I can get a rock climber here in twenty-four hours. I’ll pay for your goddamned transmission replacement. And then I’ll stop fucking helping if that’s what you really want.”
I stared at him, unsure exactly what he was saying. “I don’t understand.”
He stepped closer and put a hand on my chest. My heart rate didn’t slow.
When he spoke, his voice was softer. Less angry. “I don’t want to make your life harder, Way. I was… attempting to take some of the weight off your shoulders by doing what you asked. You wanted the town to think this was a real marriage, so I tried to be the kind of guy you really would have married.”
I felt a laugh bubble up, even though the timing was terrible. “I wouldn’t have married a guy at all.”
The edge of his lip twitched. “No shit. But maybe you should have married someone . If you’d been thinking strategically, a ranch hand or mechanic would have been a good choice, sounds like.”
But then I wouldn’t have gotten to marry you , I thought . And in spite of everything, I couldn’t imagine never having had this.
Instead of continuing the fight, I stepped forward and tucked my face into the side of his neck. I was so damned tired, and he looked steady and strong, like he could handle my irrational anger and all of my imperfections and hold the weight of the world off my shoulders for a little while.
“Sorry,” I murmured against his warm, salty skin.
His arms came around me and pulled me in tight. “Me too.” Strong hands moved up and down my back. He took a deep breath and let it out, the warm exhale brushing against my ear. “I’m a fixer. It’s what I do.”
“That sounds ominous,” I said, closing my eyes and sinking into his touch. “Organized-crime-level shit.”
“Not quite. But I’ve been told I can occasionally be a bit… officious . ” He cleared his throat and added wryly, “It’s a real struggle, knowing what’s best for everyone and how they should achieve it.”
I snorted, eyes still closed. “I bet.” I didn’t want this to end. So I held on tighter.
“You going to let me take you to bed, cowboy?” Silas murmured into my hair.
I would’ve given my eyeteeth to say yes. To accept what he was offering. To go home and lose myself in his body and the pursuit of pleasure again.
But I couldn’t.
I stood back and straightened my shoulders. “Can’t. I’ve got chores to do. Afternoon feed. A few vaccines. The farrier’s coming to replace some shoes, and I’ve gotta grab the right horses from the paddock for her.” The list seemed to unfurl on an endless scroll in my head.
Silas opened his mouth to say something but snapped it shut instead. He nodded once. “I’ll let you get to it, then.”
Instead of offering to help with any of it the way a decent fucking friend would have—and yes, I recognized my hypocrisy—he turned on his heel and walked away. Even Bunny remained half-brushed, staring after him in surprise.
As I listened to the sound of his rental car crunching its way out of the graveled parking area, I couldn’t help but curse myself as our heated words from earlier came back to me.
I tried to be the kind of guy you really would have married.
And then I’ll stop fucking helping if that’s what you really want.
Of course that was what I wanted! That was exactly what I wanted.
Wasn’t it?
I was still staring at the open doorway Silas had walked through when Natana poked her head in. I wondered if she’d heard our argument. Instead of humiliating myself by asking, I turned back to Bunny with quick, efficient strokes of the brush.
Natana moved inside with Letty and began untacking her a few feet away. We worked side by side in silence for a while before she finally spoke.
“He’s not very nice.”
It took me a minute to make sure I’d heard right. “I beg your pardon?”
“Your husband. He’s kind of an ass, isn’t he?”
I blinked at her, feeling the heat of anger simmer in my gut. “Are you serious? That man?” I asked, pointing in the direction Silas had gone. “That man is one of the most generous people I know, and that’s saying a lot since I also know your brother and… and… Kicky Winshaw.”
She shrugged. “Not sure you can compare a city guy like that to the woman who runs a food bank program and collects old coats for kids in need. And don’t get me started on my brother. My mother thinks he’s a saint.”
“Do you know that Silas gave Kandi Jenks a ride to her dance recital when her car tire picked up a nail on the highway? Or that when he got there and saw the dance moms selling T-shirts to help fund their field trip to the ballet in Cheyenne, he bought ten of them, one for everyone in my family and each of his good friends back home. Those T-shirts are ballet pink and say Dance Majestically on them, Natana. In Papyrus font, for god’s sake.”
Before she could say anything, I continued. “And apparently, he found someone to take your place for roundup, even though it’s only been a few hours since you told me you can’t be there. And when Cara and Hank Pickering threw a barbecue to welcome him to town, Silas rescheduled a conference call with Google— Google! —so he could be there to sample her potato salad. Also? He thinks I don’t know this, but he hung a birdseed ball in a tree behind my house because I mentioned once… once … that I liked watching the birds in the morning when I take my shower. I just happened to come across it when I was…” I noticed she was grinning at me. “What?”
“It’s true. You really are in love with him. ZuZu thought maybe it wasn’t real. I told her no one looks at another person the way that man looks at you when it isn’t real. And now you’re defending him like he’s god’s gift to the people.” She shrugged and stepped closer to pat me on the shoulder. “Sorry for provoking you, but damn, that was kind of amazing.”
I stared at her, ignoring for the moment that my baby sister was onto us. “You baited me on purpose? Why?”
“I heard you fighting and wondered for a split second if ZuZu was right.”
I finally remembered Natana’s words from earlier in the day, talking about how gorgeous Silas was. And how lucky I was. Of course she didn’t think he was an ass. I was so fucking stupid.
“I fell for it.”
She nodded. “It’s sweet, though. I’m happy for you. Not sure you ever felt that way about Eden.”
Her words caught me off guard. “It’s not the same thing.”
“Of course not. Eden was your high school sweetheart, the kind of young love that’s ten percent candy hearts and ninety percent desperation to rub your number two pencil against their Scantron form. Not exactly the stuff a real relationship is built on.”
Her words hit me hard. Eden and I had always been close. Ours hadn’t been a relationship mostly built on lust at all. Had I wanted her physically? Yes. Hell yes. Especially in the beginning. But we’d also grown incredibly close, relied on each other as confidants and…
I realized much of that part of our relationship had come later. After my father’s death and during the time her parents were fighting so hard to keep her from following her dreams. We’d each needed someone to talk to outside of our families because we’d needed to talk about our families to someone who understood the situation.
“I love Eden,” I said, as if defending a position long after I’d held it.
“Sure. She’s a good person,” Natana said. “But I’m glad you didn’t end up with her.”
“I don’t know why you say that. We would have been happy together.”
She pursed her lips. “You would have been happy. Maybe. She would have been miserable.”
I felt the insult like a kick to the chest. “Wow.”
Her eyes widened. “No. Shit. Sorry. That’s not what I meant.”
I shot her a look, and she sighed before apologizing again. “Way… you were born to live here, and you love every bit of it. Even if you didn’t have roots in this town, you’d have planted some by now. Not Eden. The only things Eden likes about Majestic are the climbing routes at Three Daughters, the big water on the Majestic River in spring, easy access to mountain bike trails she knows like the back of her hands, and you. She was born to run wild across every far edge of this earth. She won’t be happy until she’s climbed every rock face, run every raging river, and raced across as many varied and wondrous trails as her bike tires can find. A romantic would say you’re the tree and she’s the bird. But a realist would be more likely to point out that you’re a solid home and she’s an itinerant traveler.” She shrugged. “I’m sorry, but there it is.”
“I always assumed she’d settle down once she slaked her wanderlust,” I admitted. “I always pictured the two of us together eventually.”
She pressed her lips together in thought. “Maybe. But now you have Silas. And despite clearly being a city guy, he seems to be making an effort for your sake.”
Her words took me by surprise until I realized of course she’d see it that way. That’s what we wanted people to see. He wasn’t actually trying to fit in. He was simply acting like it.
“Yeah,” I said, returning to Bunny so I could unclip her lead and turn her out for the night.
Natana tilted her head at the mare. “Leave her to me. I’ll finish your chores so you can go catch up with your man. It’s the least I can do for bailing on roundup.”
The last thing I wanted was to face Silas right now. “No, thanks. I can do it.”
She stepped in front of me. “Way. Go be with your husband. You’ve been married for all of five minutes.”
I let out a breath. “Tell you what. We’ll do it together so we can finish faster. Deal?”
She grinned at me. “Deal.”
We worked quickly. It wasn’t the first time Natana had helped out around the ranch. She was a hard worker and had exchanged labor for favors with our stock ever since she was a preteen rider in the junior rodeo. It was nice working alongside someone I didn’t need to entertain or train. It left me with time to think through my conversation with Silas and my feelings.
By the time I got home, I knew I owed him an apology.
Another one.
I only hoped he’d accept the kind that came with me on my knees without saying a single word out loud.