Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
SPENCER
I stared at the ceiling, the shadows morphing into specters of past dating disasters. Each silhouette was a reminder of awkward silences and misunderstood jokes. Sleep eluded me as it usually did before any social obligation.
The prospect of the upcoming date with Eve had me twisted into knots. To say I hated socializing was an understatement.
Louise had dumped a pile of rules on me earlier this afternoon, leaving my head spinning. Flowers, wine, putting her in the car…all common sense things. But common sense went right out the window the moment I tried to relate to someone.
My mind toggled back and forth between deciding that I was a total loser who couldn’t get through a date and reminding myself that I’d managed to code a game that had sold billions of copies.
With a sigh, I rolled over onto my side and stared out my window at the moonlit rolling sea. The turbulent waves matched the turmoil inside me.
I felt bad for Eve. Stuck with me after Louise insisted, and after my wife had explained it to her so oddly. The poor girl had thought we were propositioning her into something perverse.
I chuckled in the darkness as I recalled her reaction. She seemed nice enough. And Louise would parade a long line of women in front of me if I didn’t like Eve.
Maybe I should just stick with her rather than go through awkward first date after awkward first date. Especially when I knew what outcome would be coming in the end.
This wouldn’t be the love connection Louise expected. She was open to finding a relationship. I’d been stung too many times to have any hope.
I didn’t connect with people. Period.
On that rather depressing thought, I drifted off to sleep.
I woke before the sun and dragged myself out of bed to make some progress on my game’s sequel, but I spent most of the morning studying my distorted reflection in the darkened monitor.
My mind spun through everything from past dates to the upcoming one, from heartache to hope as I wondered if I’d already found true happiness in my life or if I was missing out on something big.
I dodged Louise’s well-meaning ambushes for most of the day. Her enthusiasm, while encouraging, built up more dread than anything. Her belief in the magic of dating was a language I didn’t speak.
When the time finally came, I forced myself into my bedroom to put on something nice. I stood in front of the mirror, blowing out a long breath as I practiced saying hello. Yes, I practiced saying hello because for an introvert, even that can be difficult.
“It doesn’t matter,” I muttered to my reflection as I shook my head.
And it didn’t. I’d been down this road before. Nothing good ever came of it. But I had to figure out a way to string it along long enough to find Louise the love she was searching for.
After receiving the seal of approval from a robe-clad Louise, I grabbed the flowers and slid behind the wheel of my custom sports car.
The wind blew my hair around a little as I white-knuckled the wheel, following my GPS to Eve’s address.
Climbing from the car, I cleared my throat a dozen times before I knocked on her door. She pulled it open a second later, startling me.
Louise always was at least fifteen minutes late. In my surprise, I thrust the flowers forward, nearly smacking her in the face.
My lips tugged back in a wince as she stumbled back a step before she plastered a smile on her face. “These are for you.”
“Thanks,” she said. “Come in, I’ll put these in some water.”
I stepped into the small apartment, my mind recalling one of the first places I’d had when I’d quit college to build my game. It may have even been smaller than this.
“Make yourself comfortable,” she called from the kitchen over the sound of running water.
I perched on the edge of the couch, trying to look relaxed but certain I wasn’t pulling it off. She bustled back in and set the flowers on the coffee table. “Thank you. These are really beautiful. Carnations are my favorite.”
“You’re welcome,” I answered.
We stared at each other for a second, both awkwardly smiling.
Ready to tell her we should go, I swallowed hard and leapt from my seat. My sudden movement, couple with her step forward to sit down, sent us colliding into each other. My forehead smacked off of hers.
She stumbled back a step, pressing a palm to her head. “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry.”
“No, no, that was…my fault, definitely,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”
She pulled her hand away with a fleeting smile. “I think I’ll live. Are you okay, though?”
“Uh, yeah,” I said, rapping my knuckles against my skull. “I’ve got a pretty hard head.”
A nervous laugh bubbled from her.
“I was just going to say we should go. We don’t want to be late.”
“Right,” she said with a nod. “I just need to put my shoes on. Sorry…Louise insisted these heels were best, and they aren’t very comfortable. I don’t know how she does it.”
She reached down for her shoes, her hand falling on my arm as she wobbled on one foot, tugging her second heel on. I glanced down at the casual gesture, warmth rushing through me. “Yeah, Louise is…amazing.”
She smiled at me, though I detected a note of sadness in her eyes. Was she already growing tired of Louise?
I offered her my arm, and we left her apartment behind. I made certain I had her safely tucked in my passenger seat before I raced around the car and slid behind the wheel. I didn’t want to get any bad marks from Louise when she inevitably grilled Eve about the date.
Eve offered an awkward smile as I fired the engine. We had a quiet drive on the short trip to the club.
After handing my keys over, I led her into the restaurant, and we were seated immediately at my usual table with a view of the ocean. I made sure to push her chair in before I sat down across from her. “Is wine okay?”
“Oh, sure,” she said with that nervous, sweet smile she had. It seemed like she was apologizing to the world for being there.
She glanced down at the menu as the waiter strode off to retrieve my selection. I noticed her chewing her lower lip as she studied it.
“So,” I ventured, “what looks good?”
“Oh, uh, gosh, uh, I think I’ll just have the lobster bisque.” She flicked her dark eyes to me. “What about you?”
“I’ll get the fish.” I glanced at the menu. “I always get the fish. I never get anything but the fish.”
“Oh,” she answered softly. “Well, I guess you really like it.”
“I do.” I bobbed my head way too many times. Why was I like this? It was like watching a train wreck in progress.
Eve seemed like a nice woman, and she was being a really good sport with Louise’s overbearing nature. It seemed to be salt in the wounds to force her to date me.
We placed our orders when the waiter came back before we drifted into awkward silence again. Typical of any date I was on.
“So–” I began right as she said, “Well–”
We both grinned at each other, and heat rose into my cheeks, though I took solace in the fact that her pink cheeks were now even rosier. “Sorry,” she said.
“No, it’s my fault. Go ahead.”
“No, no,” she insisted. “Go ahead.”
“Uh, I was just going to ask what you do for a living. Louise didn’t tell me.”
“Oh, I’m a translator,” she answered, her forehead pinching a little. “I’m your translator.”
Was this some sort of dating code I wasn’t getting? What was she going to translate for me? Maybe social conventions?
“I’m not sure I follow,” I said.
She leaned a little closer. “I’m the translator for your game.”
Her eyes narrowed a little as she waited for me to connect the dots.
My forehead creased. “E Dawson,” I said. “You’re…”
She grinned and nodded. “That’s me. Yes. I just emailed you about a few things. You answered very quickly. Thank you.”
I sat stunned for a second, recalling that well-crafted email that I’d been impressed with. What a coincidence that I’d find myself sitting across from her on a date. I shoved the idea from my brain, trying hard not to get my hopes up. This would never work. She’d inevitably find me far too awkward.
“Oh, you’re welcome. Thank you for doing such great work. So, you must be a fan of the game with all the tiny details you picked up on.”
“Oh, I’ve…never played it.” Her cheeks burned red, and she shifted in her seat.
My lips tugged into an unbidden frown at the words as I toyed with my wine glass.
“I’m not much of a gamer,” she added.
I searched my mind for something to say, but came up with nothing. And this is how all my dates died slow, agonizing deaths.
“Louise says I work too much. But I don’t think so.”
The comment elicited a chuckle from me, and I finally raised my eyes to hers. “She says the same thing about me. I also vehemently disagree.”
She grinned as our food was delivered, and we dug in.
“Are you working on a sequel to your game or something new?” Eve asked.
“A sequel,” I answered. “The first one was a big hit, and I’m planning on adding some new features, unique things that may attract a new audience.”
We spent the majority of the meal having a relatively meaningful conversation. I wasn’t sure if it was the wine or if Eve was just good at carrying on a conversation that went deeper than surface level, but, despite my awkwardness, things flowed pretty well between us.
As the dinner wound down and the waiter cleared our plates, a woman flitted over with what she described as a chocolate fondue for two.
“Compliments of the chef,” she said with a grin as she left it with us.
“Well, good thing I only had soup,” Eve said, chuckling softly.
I wondered for a second if Louise had somehow set this up to make sure we lingered a little longer at the table. I was surprised she hadn’t shown up, to be honest.
I swirled a strawberry in the chocolate as I debated about bringing up something that had been on my mind since before the date had started. I had no idea what Eve had thought about the night, but my past experience told me she’d avoid my calls going forward or politely decline another date.
As I sneaked a glance at her over the chocolate sauce, I pictured that tentative grin on her face as she shrugged. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
The evening hadn’t been that bad on my end, and I really wanted to avoid a long string of other women paraded in front of me. I could deal with Eve for however long it took to find Louise love.
“So, Eve, uh…I know this situation is a little awkward.”
She froze as she raised her gaze from the cake piece dripping in chocolate to me, her features pinching a little as she gave me a dismissive wave. “Oh, it’s okay. I didn’t expect–”
“Well, the thing is,” I said, not waiting for her to finish, “Louise and I…we…it’s…I agreed to date because I wanted her to agree to date. And so, I said yes so that I could make sure she finds the love of her life. She really deserves to be happy–happier than I can make her in a fake marriage. We’re just not… well-suited. And as long as I’m dating, she’ll date. So, I need to keep dating so she’ll do the same. And I…I’m really committed to making sure Louise finds someone, so I was wondering if it would be okay if we just kept dating…you know in name only…fake dating so that Louise can concentrate on her dating. Wow, I’m babbling.”
Her head had bobbed around a few times, her eyes widening as I continued to chatter on incessantly about my situation. “Oh, uh…that’s okay. I tend to babble sometimes, too.”
I offered her a nervous chuckle. She had a way of making me feel less awkward than most other people.
“Umm, and sure, that’s…that’s perfectly fine. Maybe I could even help you. We could…spend the time talking about Louise’s dates.”
A smile curled my lips as I stared down at the chocolate sauce between us. She’d been incredibly kind to have made this easy on me–even offering to help with Louise. It would be valuable to have a woman’s perspective on things.
Still, guilt swept through me. I was about to subject her to a string of what would likely be bad dates, all for nothing. “I…I appreciate that. Umm, I feel incredibly terrible asking this, but…in case you haven’t noticed, I’m socially awkward, and I can’t imagine having to face dates with women who inevitably won’t be as gracious as you’ve been.”
She gave me a consoling smile. “I don’t think you are. You seem very nice to me.”
My cheeks burned at the statement, and I stared down at the white linen tablecloth as my fingers pressed into it, trying to ground myself after receiving the unexpected compliment.
“Thanks,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper before I forced strength into it. “I still feel bad, though, I…I’m going to eat up your evenings for what could be a few months and…I mean, you could be out with friends or…a…guy.”
For some reason, saying boyfriend to her seemed awkward. Why did I feel oddly jealous if she was out with another man? I was married to a woman who openly wanted to date, and I’d encouraged it, yet with Eve, the idea of her sharing a chocolate fondue with someone else made me frown.
My gaze snapped to hers as a giggle bubbled from her. “Oh, no, that’s not going to happen.”
My brow furrowed as I tried to understand why? She seemed perfectly pleasant, a great conversationalist, pretty, intelligent.
“Louise must not have told you, I’m not very lucky in love. And I’m not very outgoing either.” She blushed. “I’m not sure if you noticed, but I’m kind of awkward myself. So don’t worry, you’ll only be interrupting an evening spent binge watching a few shows.”
I hadn’t noticed her awkwardness at all. She seemed…great. Her statement, though, made me feel somewhat better. I tried to tell myself it was because I wasn’t stopping her from living her life, but a part of me wondered if it was really because she wasn’t going to live life with anyone else. I dispelled the thought almost immediately, moving on with my plan.
“Well…if you’re sure you’re okay with it, then, it sounds like we have a plan.”
She smiled and nodded, finally eating that piece of cake that must have been a soggy mess by now.
We finished off the dessert, then I paid the check, my palms turning sweaty as I shoved my card back into my wallet. I hated this part of the date. And Louise hadn’t given me a rule book for it. Was I supposed to just drive her straight home? Would I look like a predator if I asked her to walk on the beach?
Would she linger outside her door expecting me to kiss her, or would she knee me in the groin if I even tried?
As we rose, I swallowed, deciding a beach walk may be better for another date. I should probably pace myself. I wouldn’t want to expose her to all my awkwardness on the first time out.
Within minutes, we were back in my car with my knuckles white around the wheel as I drove her back, my stomach twisting in knots.
I walked her to her door, and she readied her keys. “Well, thank you so much for a lovely dinner. Uh, you can…text me about the next steps with Louise.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said, nodding a little too fervently. “Yes, I will text you. We’ll talk about her date and our next one.”
“Okay, great,” she said with a smile and a nod as she shoved her key into her lock.
I wiped my sweaty palms against my pant legs, wondering if she’d invite me in.
“Thanks again. Have a good night.”
“You too.” I gave her an awkward wave as she stepped into her apartment and closed the door. Blowing out a relieved sigh, I turned back toward my car.
Eve had managed to make the last part not awkward at all, but she’d done that for the entire evening. As I climbed behind the wheel, I found myself smiling.
I hadn’t had a disastrous date for the first time in my life. I wanted to believe there was hope for me yet, though a nagging part of my mind hinted that it was only because this was all fake.
Apparently, I could only succeed at fake relationships. Would I ever survive a real one?