Chapter 30
CHAPTER 30
SPENCER
M y heart sank as Louise crossed the boardwalk back to the house, her shoes in her hand and an unstoppable smile on her face. Engaged. She was engaged.
Most people would immediately think that I was jealous, that I’d hoped somehow that we’d stay married, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Where my real sadness stemmed from was the realization that Louise was done dating. The game was over. And I’d won.
I’d never regretted a win more than this one.
The waves crashed in front of me, the sea growing more turbulent with every splash. A storm was blowing up the coast, matching my mood.
Black clouds edged out the sun, and a few raindrops began to fall.
It didn’t drive me back into the house, though. Instead, I stood there, letting the rain pelt me as I continued to brood.
Louise’s impending nuptials meant the end of my relationship with Eve.
We’d agreed when we started dating that we’d continue until Louise had found her happiness. Now, she had, and it spelled the end of us.
I hated that.
I’d grown close to Eve over the time we’d spent together. In fact, I’d never been so close to someone. Not even Louise.
Eve had seen more of the real me than Lou ever had. Even with her, I’d held back a part of myself, afraid she’d find me strange, but I didn’t have to do that with Eve.
She’d seen me panicked over amusement park rides, giddy over my game, and acting silly over a card game.
But I reminded myself with a sigh, she didn’t accept me. She was stuck with me.
She’d agreed to date me until Louise found someone. She hadn’t agreed to accept me for who I was.
“She probably can’t wait to get away from me,” I said, thunder punctuating my statement.
With a shake of my head, I left the beach behind, slipping into my house just before the deluge.
It already sounded too quiet.
“You’ll get used to it,” I told myself. “You lived alone here before.”
Still, even with the storm raging outside, the inside of my place felt like a tomb.
I sank onto my couch. Typically, work would have driven me right up the stairs where I’d lose myself in lines of code, but I couldn’t think straight.
Eve’s laugh, her smile, the sparkling in her eyes haunted me. I’d lost her from the first day I met her. I’d been such a fool.
I’d assumed that she’d be like every other person I’d ever met outside of perhaps Louise. But she’d been so different.
“Maybe if you told her…” I forced the words past the lump growing in my throat. With a shake of my head, I dismissed the idea. “That’s stupid, Spencer. “
I imagined the scenario playing out.
With a grin, Eve would tell me she’d heard about Louise’s engagement. “We did it.”
“We did,” I would agree. “Louise has found her happiness.”
“Yes, she has.” Eve’s eyes lingered on mine. “So, that means we can quit with this charade.”
With my heart in my throat, I’d search for the words. “Eve, the thing is…over these last few months, I’ve…really started to like you.”
Any smile on her face would then fade. “What?”
“I…think we may have something here. You’re an amazing woman. I’ve never met anyone like you. And I’m…I think I’m in love with you. I think you’re the one.”
Eve was sweet enough that she’d likely temper the blow as she rejected me. “Aw, Spencer. You’re really great. And I’m sure you’ll find the right woman for you, but…I’m sorry, that’s not me.”
“But Eve…”
“No, Spencer. I don’t feel anything for you. I’m sorry. I think it’s best if we don’t see each other.”
And then my heart would break into a million pieces as she sent me packing.
I shifted in my seat, frustration making my muscles tense. What if I suggested that we stay friends?
My eyebrows raised as I considered this possibility. It could work. We’d still get to spend time together without the pressure of a romantic relationship. And maybe one would even develop naturally. The thought twisted my lips into a grin.
My smile faded as I realized this was as far-fetched as those ridiculous romance movies I’d watched. I was not going to get the girl. I wasn’t that geeky billionaire who ended up with his best friend from college. I wasn’t the cocky doctor who ended up with an angel.
I was Spencer Whitaker, awkward and undeserving, especially given what I’d already done to the poor woman. I’d roped her into a fake relationship and wasted her time.
I didn’t deserve her and I wouldn’t get her, even if we started out as friends.
No, instead, I’d end up watching her fall in love with someone else. She said she wasn’t lucky in love, but with her beauty and sweet personality, that wouldn’t remain true. Someone would scoop her up, right in front of my very eyes.
And then I’d have to fake a smile and tell her how happy I was that she’d found her happiness. She’d gush about him while my heart broke.
No, that wasn’t an option, either. I had no options. I’d ruined all of them the first day I’d met her. I’d ruined everything like I always did.
I let my head fall into my palm as the realization bloomed and all hope within me died a painful death.
The best thing for me to do–the only thing for me to do–was let her go.
And I had to do the same with Louise. Oddly, divorcing my wife was the less painful breakup, though part of me would miss her energy around the house. She’d tried so hard to help me break out of my shell, and I’d fought her every step of the way.
I’d foiled her plans because I hadn’t trusted her. I hadn’t realized she wouldn’t just push any girl at me, but that she thought enough of me to push the perfect one.
“You are an idiot, Spencer, truly an idiot. And you deserve whatever you get.”
As I shook my head at myself, I scrolled through my phone in search of my lawyer’s number. At least I’d still have my friend after our divorce.
For a second, I wondered how she’d react to my break-up with Eve, but then I realized she’d likely be so wrapped up with her own happiness, her wedding, her new life, that it wouldn’t phase her.
I imagined her rolling her eyes and clicking her tongue at me. “Oh, Spencer,” she said with a shake of her head. “Well, I tried. Can’t blame this on me.”
I realized I’d probably have to cut back on some of the time I spent with Louise, though, given that she and Eve were besties.
My lips tugged into a wince as I realized she’d likely be at Lou’s wedding. I probably should avoid that–along with all the barbecues, parties, and whatever else Louise hosted.
On the other hand, it would be the perfect excuse to avoid all those social events.
Maybe this could work out.
I pressed the call icon and the line trilled on the opposite end before my attorney’s secretary answered.
“Hey, it’s Spencer Whitaker. I need Bill to put those divorce papers together.”
“Hello, Mr. Whitaker. I’d ask how you are doing, but it seems not so well.”
I huffed out a laugh. She was right, but it had nothing to do with the divorce. “It is what it is.”
“Well, I am very sorry to hear that, but I will let Mr. Baker know, and we’ll get those papers out to you immediately. Is there anything else he should know regarding asset split?”
“No, it’s all spelled out in the prenup, so he can follow exactly what we discussed.”
“All right, this should be easy enough, then. We’ll have those out to you by close of business today then.”
“Thanks,” I said before I ended the call and stared down at the phone for a second.
The door opened and closed, and I twisted to face the foyer, the scent of Louise’s perfume wafting to my nostrils.
“Lou? Is that you?”
“It is, darlin’,” she answered.
I rose from the couch and shuffled toward her voice. She stood on the stairs, peering over the railing.
“I called the attorney. They should have the divorce papers for us soon,” I said.
“Awww,” she said with a grin, “thanks, sugar. You will always be my favorite ex-husband.”
“I really hope I’m your only ex-husband,” I answered.
“Don’t worry, you will be. Theo and I are just perfect together. I can’t wait to marry him.”
“I’m really glad. Do you have a date in mind already?”
She shook her head. “Not yet. But Eve and I are going to figure that out when we shop for my dress on Friday.”
“Already?” I asked, trying to ignore the mention of Eve’s name.
“It’s very important,” she answered. “But so is the date. And we’ll have that soon enough. Stay tuned.”
I bobbed my head, her happiness a stark contrast to the sadness welling inside me.
“Well, I’m off. I have to get ready for my date with Theo tonight. I am going to be doing a bubble bath, and I would very much like not to be disturbed. So, if those papers come, I’ll just sign them tonight when I’m back.”
“Okay, no problem.”
“When do you see Eve next?” she asked.
Neither of us had expected Louise’s big announcement today when we’d made plans for tonight. “In a few hours.”
I desperately tried to stop the shake in my voice as I realized in the next few hours that I’d be single again.
“Well, I hope you have a lovely time.” She grinned at me, a sparkle in her eyes before she darted up the stairs.
“You’re not going to be single again , Spencer. You were always single,” I reminded myself in a murmur as I shuffled back to sit alone in my living room until our final date.
The hours ticked by slowly, each minute closer seeing my mood devolve further and further.
As the time crept closer, I reminded myself that this was for the best. I ran through all the heartbreaking scenarios where I ended up alone anyway.
“This is for the best,” I reminded myself as I stared in the mirror, adjusting my blazer. “You’ll see.”
With a final adjustment, I forced myself to leave the house behind and climb into my car, placing my sweaty palms against my wheel.
My heart thudded dully as I fired the engine and drove into town. Eve and I had planned to meet outside of a coffee shop before we selected a restaurant. We’d never make it there.
I parked and strolled to the spot, my knees wobbling as I went, especially when I spotted her standing on the corner as she waited.
My heart beat so hard I thought it may leap from my chest. It may have been better if it did–preferable to what I was about to do.
With a deep breath, I reminded myself of all the reasons that I had to do it.
I approached her, forcing a smile onto my face.
“Hi,” Eve said with a grin. “I assume you’ve heard the big news.”
“I have,” I answered. She brought up Louise’s engagement immediately. She was probably giddy with anticipation that we could stop dating. “Yes.”
“How are you feeling about it?”
“Umm, happy for Lou,” I answered as I studied the sidewalk beneath my sneakers.
“Me too,” she said with a nod. “She’s so happy.”
“She is. And soon we’ll be divorced, and she can move forward with what I assume will be a big wedding.”
“Sounds like it,” Eve answered. “I’ve never heard so many ideas as I did this afternoon.”
“I’ll bet,” I said, dancing around the subject I really wanted to talk about. “You’ll be busy.”
“Yeah,” she said with a nod. “But still, I’m happy for her.”
I bobbed my head again before I forced the words out of my mouth before I lost my ability to say them. “Well, on the upside, you’ll have more free time now.” Her features crinkled. “We don’t need to keep up this charade.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh, right, yeah. The whole fake dating thing.”
“Exactly, yeah. I mean…Louise is engaged and happy, so you’re off the hook.”
“You too,” she said with a fleeting smile, shifting her weight.
“Right,” I said, pumping my fist in the air despite my heart breaking.
“Well, it was fun while it lasted, as they say. I’ll bet you’ll be happy to get back to normal.”
“Definitely, definitely,” I answered, flicking my gaze away from her. “Well, anyway…uh…I guess I’ll let you go.”
She pressed her lips together, an emotion clouding her eyes, but I couldn’t read it. “Right, sure. Have a good night.”
I offered her a tight-lipped smile before I spun on a heel.
“Hey, Spencer,” she called after me.
I twisted toward her. For a second, I hoped against hope that this would be one of those moments like in the romance movies I’d watched, that Eve would suddenly gush about how she cared about me. And then I’d tell her I felt the same way. We’d fly into each other’s arms, kiss, and spend the rest of our lives together.
I held my breath, waiting to see what she’d say. Would this be the end of our chapter?