Chapter 7
She’d been foolish to kiss Bellamy in the pub two days ago.
Zaira sat primly on the wicker chair on the veranda in the shade, her mind unable to focus on the Sunday afternoon visit with Kiernan and Alannah at Oakland. Instead, her thoughts circled around to Bellamy and the realization that she’d been rash in kissing him so publicly.
Her parents hadn’t heard about the kiss yet. If they had, they would have been irate and spoken to her about her indecency.
Seated on a chair beside her, Mam held herself with the usual poise, her petite frame perfectly positioned, her elegant summer gown perfectly fitted, and her brown hair perfectly parted down the center and looped over each ear.
Aye, Lucinda Shanahan, with her dainty features and porcelain skin, was always a picture of perfection.
Da reclined in the wicker chair beside Mam with Kiernan and Alannah sharing the porch swing across from them.
Kiernan and Da were built alike with wide shoulders and muscular frames.
Both were dressed in low-cut vests and tailored frock coats with silk cravats and high starched collars that framed their smoothly shaven chins and cheeks.
Both were also talkative and had carried most of the conversation so far since they’d gathered on the wide wraparound porch of the country home to avoid the stifling heat inside.
Her two younger brothers, Madigan and Quinlan, sat at the opposite end of the veranda, playing chess.
At sixteen and fourteen, the two were rarely so quiet and still—only on the day of rest when they were required to cease from their usual activities.
After returning from mass at the nearby parish church, they’d shed their cravats and vests and had unbuttoned the top two buttons of their shirts, which was as far down as Mam would allow them.
Without a breeze, the humidity was heavy, and Zaira wished she had the same freedom to undo her buttons, or at least to shed the frilled manchette cuffs at her wrists.
Better yet, she would have taken off her petticoats or gone without her corset.
But she held herself as gracefully as possible, even though she was sweltering under the layers of her heavy Sunday gown.
She’d also done her best earlier to remove the ink stains from her fingers.
She was taking extra precautions today to be as ladylike as possible, hoping no one would think her capable of the kiss in the pub—if the topic came up.
If only she’d been more rational and had thought through the ramifications of her actions.
But she’d allowed her anger at Bellamy to push aside all reason, wisdom, and logic.
Now, if word spread about her kissing Bellamy, she’d cause another scandal for her family, which was exactly what she’d hoped to avoid with her venture into becoming a published author.
Why had she let Bellamy antagonize her? Had she really needed the research? Or had she just been looking for an excuse to see what kissing Bellamy would be like?
She stifled a sigh, then pumped her paper fan near her face, barely moving the muggy afternoon air but rustling the big leaves of the potted plant, one of the many that decorated the veranda.
From the swing, Kiernan pinned her with another disappointed look similar to the one he’d given her when he’d first arrived. That had to mean he’d heard rumors about her, didn’t it?
If he knew about the kiss with Bellamy, how long before he told Da? How long before someone else shared it with Da while he was in town? How long before the neighbors learned the gossip and then brought it to Da’s attention?
Zaira spread her hand over her churning stomach. She didn’t want to cause her parents any grief. They’d considered her their easiest child since she was quick to comply, was always helpful and cheerful, and was also usually even-tempered.
But once they learned of her mistake, they would surely be mortified. She would lose her place as their sweet daughter, and she would be nothing more than an utter embarrassment to them.
Alannah reached for Kiernan’s hand and squeezed it. He wrapped his fingers around hers in return. His features softened as he took in his wife’s beautiful face framed by her pale blond hair. As her blue eyes connected with his, she seemed to be imploring him about something.
He released a tight breath and gave her an imperceptible nod before returning his attention to Da and the ongoing conversation about the Committee of Public Health that Riley, their brother-in-law, was helping to lead and the much-needed changes the committee was quickly trying to implement to curb the spread of the cholera.
Although Alannah had served as a maid first for Enya and then at Oakland, Zaira had never thought of her as a servant. It had been easy to see from the start that Alannah wasn’t an ordinary woman, especially to Kiernan.
As an avid reader, Alannah was a skilled editor. If not for Alannah’s help in editing, Zaira wouldn’t have been able to garner Mr. Knapp’s attention. In fact, Alannah had been the one to first suggest the need to enhance the authenticity and depth of emotions between her characters.
While Alannah’s feedback had been helpful, the kiss with Bellamy had maybe been even more so.
Zaira had used the feelings from the exchange with Bellamy to stir her writing, pouring out her heart and emotions into the story.
When she’d turned it in and Mr. Knapp had skimmed it, he’d offered her a genuine smile and told her that readers would enjoy the next chapter by K.
S. Flanders and that he was happy to keep working with the fellow.
Zaira had left the office elated . . . but only until she’d passed by Oscar’s Pub and witnessed a dozen or more fatherly aged men lined up outside.
She’d only had to inquire of someone passing by to know that Oscar was serious about finding Bellamy a match and half of St. Louis’s Irish community had come out to talk to Oscar about it.
Of course, Bellamy was a catch for his influence and standing in the community, and it was no surprise that every single woman on the western side of the Mississippi was in love with him.
How could they not be with how handsome, charming, and kindhearted he was?
She’d already been halfway in love with him, even before experiencing that kiss with him at the pub.
Now despite her intentions to hold off on marriage, she fancied him even more.
“So, what other news from the city can you tell us?” Da tapped his cigar into the crystal ashtray on the wicker table beside him. A chunk of ashes fell off before he lifted the cigar and took another puff, the sweet but spicy waft of tobacco lingering heavily in the air.
Kiernan glanced again at Zaira, and this time, the accusation there was more than she could bear.
Oh aye, he’d definitely heard about the kiss that had transpired with Bellamy.
But he’d likely been tasked by Alannah not to say anything, which would account for why he’d remained silent about the issue.
Yet, how long could he stay silent before blurting the truth?
Zaira needed to talk to him before that happened.
She pushed to her feet, and a moment later both Kiernan and Da stood politely too, as was done in the presence of a lady. But was she a lady anymore after her indecent behavior?
“Kiernan, would you like to take a short stroll in the gardens?”
He raised his brow at Alannah, as though seeking her permission.
She squeezed his hand. “Oh aye, take all the time you need.” The offer was gracious, especially since Alannah wasn’t entirely comfortable with Da and Mam and was still adjusting to her changing role in their family.
Da and Mam were likely adjusting to that changing role too. It would take time for them and the community to see Alannah as more than a maid. But at least they were being kind to her.
Kiernan held out the crook of his arm to Zaira.
She took it, and together they descended the front stairway and meandered across the manicured yard toward the side of the house.
Mam’s flowers along the house had wilted in the summer heat, but the raised herb beds as well as the vegetable garden were still doing well.
“So you’re enjoying married life?” Zaira asked as they rounded the corner and the front veranda disappeared from sight.
Kiernan glanced over his shoulder and then turned his full glare upon her. “What were you thinking, Zaira? Kissing Bellamy like that?”
“I figured from the scowls you kept giving me that you’d heard.”
“Everyone left in St. Louis has heard.”
She pressed one of her hands to her forehead. “Oh bother.”
“Oh bother is right.” Kiernan didn’t slow their steps but instead seemed to pick up the pace as though he was anxious to get her as far away from any listening ears as possible.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen.” Technically she’d gone intending to only hug Bellamy.
The kiss had taken things too far. Regardless of what she’d planned, she should have dragged him out into the alley, maybe even into his shed studio first. If only he hadn’t been brash and stubborn, and if only she hadn’t overreacted.
The muscles in Kiernan’s arm flexed. “Does that mean Bellamy took advantage of you? Because if he did, so help me, I’ll teach him a lesson he won’t soon forget.”
“No, the kiss was my fault.” She wished she could explain to Kiernan that she’d done it to add more realistic emotion to her story. But she didn’t think Alannah had shared anything about her secret writing life with Kiernan.
“What happened?” Kiernan shook his head. “No, never mind. I don’t want to know. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that we do what’s right moving forward.”
“What is the right thing, Kiernan?” Zaira looked up at her older and wiser brother. “What should I do?”
“That’s exactly what we need to figure out.” Kiernan’s voice contained his usual authority.