Chapter 8 #2
He knew Oscar was right in trying to find him a bride, that doing so would increase his standing and trustworthiness in the community.
People would start seeking him out for his advice and wise counsel the same way they did Oscar.
It would show him to be responsible in the matter of love.
After all, if he couldn’t move things along in the matter of love for himself, why would people come to him to move things forward for them?
But how could he tie any woman to himself and the McKenna matchmaker bad luck?
Zaira gripped his arm and began to lead him away from the carriage. Like Kiernan, Bellamy was being dragged along and helpless to resist. Because he couldn’t resist Zaira. He let her guide him, following after her, his hunger for her increasing with every step he took.
When she stopped beside the shed, he had the urge to pull her flush and wrap his arms around her.
It was almost as if he’d been waiting the past two days since last holding her for the next chance to do so.
But that was ridiculous, because he was never going to embrace or touch or kiss her ever again.
As she pushed him against the shed wall, she already had a handkerchief in hand and was lifting it to his nose to ward off the bleeding. He needed to stop her. He could take the handkerchief for himself.
But as with before, he was helpless to resist. He let her touch the delicate cloth to his nose and gently press it there. Her thumb brushed against his lips, and she quickly moved it away. Even so, the touch seared into him, just as all her other touches had done.
“I’m sorry, Bellamy.” Through the shadows, she was examining his face as boldly as she’d always done, which, if he was honest with himself, he’d always liked. He liked that she wasn’t pretentious or shy or even coy. She was merely herself and didn’t care about impressing him.
She dabbed again just as gently. “Kiernan is being a beast.”
“If you were my sister and a fellow kissed you, I would be doing the same thing, so I would.”
She just gave a shake of her head. “We both know I started the kiss and that you’re not at fault.”
“I could have stopped it.”
“You did.”
“I should have stopped sooner.” He couldn’t keep himself from glancing at her mouth, all too near, all too pretty, and all too kissable.
As if seeing the direction of his thoughts—or perhaps his gaze—she dropped her attention to the top button of his vest. Were her cheeks turning rosy? Was she thinking of their kiss again too?
A burst of heat fanned to life in his gut. And suddenly the air between them seemed charged and full of sparks.
Ach. This was no good. He didn’t need or want to have chemistry with any woman, least of all a stunning woman like Zaira.
“We need to make a deal, Bellamy.” She glanced around as if ensuring they were alone. The back door of the pub was opened a crack, and Jenny was peeking through, obviously worried about him. But they were far enough away, he hoped, that she wouldn’t be able to hear his conversation with Zaira.
He took the handkerchief from Zaira. He had the feeling Kiernan was behind this deal, whatever it might be.
“We already had a bargain once,” he started, “and look how that ended up.”
“We both need each other.”
“We do?”
“Oh aye. Both of our reputations are being questioned.”
The heaviness that had been in his chest pressed down harder. Even though he’d warned the men in the pub the other day to stay quiet, they’d talked anyway, and word of the kiss had spread faster than a steamboat fire.
“Are people giving you a hard time?” If they were, it was his fault for not doing a better job in silencing the rumors.
“My mam and da haven’t heard about it yet.”
“And you don’t want them to be finding out?”
“I’m afraid it’s inevitable, don’t you think? With the way the gossip has traveled already, ’tis only a matter of time before they learn of it.”
He wanted to apologize. The words were on the tip of his tongue. But he held them in.
“But,” she continued, “if I am matched with you, how can they get angry about a kiss?”
“Matched with me?” He shook his head and took a rapid step back. “Ach, no. That’s not an option—”
“Hear me out.” She placed a hand on his arm, probably to keep him from bolting.
He actually did want to bolt as far from her as he could because he couldn’t consider a match with her. Not in a hundred years for a hundred different reasons.
“You need a match too, to save your reputation as the matchmaker.”
“Doncha be worrying. I’ll be finding a match on my own just fine.” Or at the very least, he’d have a say in a few of the lasses Oscar narrowed down for him.
“We’ll help each other out.”
Being with Zaira wouldn’t help him. It would only complicate matters. “Naturally you’re attracted to me and want to be with me, but I just can’t—
“Eww.” She shoved against his chest this time. “Eww, no.”
“Eww no, what?”
“Eww no, I’m not attracted to you.”
“You sure kissed me like you were.”
“It was for research, Bellamy. That’s all.” Her voice sounded exasperated. “I don’t like you. And you don’t like me. That’s why a match between us would be so perfect.”
He straightened and looked down at her more carefully. Though night was closing in, he could see the earnestness in her face. She’d made the declaration about not liking him before. Did she really mean it?
“You’re too self-important for my taste,” she stated, as if seeing the question in his eyes.
“Is that a fact?”
“It is.” She peered up at him with her wide, honest eyes.
He could see no deception there, no games, no hidden motivation.
“Kiernan suggested that we stay in the match for a little while, and then eventually when the gossip dies down, we can go our separate ways, and no one will be the wiser.”
Bellamy slid a glance in the direction of the barouche only to glimpse Kiernan with his arms around Alannah, kissing her as if he needed to in order to keep living.
At the sight of such passion, Bellamy’s body tensed with sudden desire of his own—a strong need to be with a woman.
After all, he was a man in the prime of his life and those kinds of needs were natural.
It’s just that he was usually able to pay them no heed, put them from his mind, and move on with life.
All he had to do was remind himself of how disastrous his parents’ marriage had been, how disastrous his grandparents’ marriage had been, and how disastrous each matchmaker’s marriage had been for generations.
He wasn’t repeating the mistake of locking into a marriage, chancing disaster of his own and hurting a woman he cared about.
But whatever Zaira was proposing, it was apparently only temporary.
“You’ll be my fake fiancé, Bellamy.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “And I’ll be yours.”
Could such a plan work?
“We don’t like each other,” she persisted. “And we know each other’s secrets. So it’s actually a perfect arrangement.”
Would it be a perfect arrangement, or would it only lead to trouble?
He was trying not to like her. But that didn’t mean he could do away with all the attraction.
It was much too strong, so strong that something inside warned him he needed to stay away from Zaira Shanahan instead of making an arrangement with her.
“What do you think?” She watched him with hopeful eyes.
He released a taut breath. “I think it’s a dangerous plan.”
“Dangerous?”
“It might not work.”
She smiled. “You have nothing to worry about. I’m a grand actress.”
“I’m not worried about that.”
“Are you afraid you won’t be able to pretend to be my fiancé?”
“I’m grand at acting too.”
“Then what?”
Truthfully, he was afraid he wouldn’t need to act, that being her fiancé would be too easy, and that he might even get carried away with his attraction to her.
He could feel her still watching him, waiting for his answer. With her looking at him like that, he had the overwhelming urge to bend down and capture her lips in a kiss. The need rose with such swiftness that suddenly he could think of nothing more he wanted to do.
And that was exactly why such a plan would never work.
He started to shake his head.
“Don’t say no yet.” The sincerity in her expression beckoned to him. “At least think about it.”
He hesitated.
“Please?” Her whisper held a note of desperation he wanted to ignore but couldn’t.
“Fine. I’ll think about it and let you know.” Without giving himself another chance to look at her, he started toward the kitchen door.
“You’ll have to let me know soon, Bellamy.” Her whisper chased after him, sending goose bumps over his skin.
If he was already having this kind of reaction to her after just a kiss, he had to stay away from her. Yet how could he, when she needed to repair her reputation and he was her only solution?