Chapter 23
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
CONNOR
Sex was most definitely not what I had in mind when I got in the shower with Donnie. He wasn’t steady on his feet and the last thing I wanted was to add a concussion to his fever.
I kinda feel bad though, as I quickly soap him up and rinse him down.
Did I just take advantage of him? He’s a little dazed but he doesn’t seem delirious or anything.
I turn off the water and towel him off. He’s soft and languid as I help him into clean pajamas and settle him into the armchair.
He grabs my hand before I can go change the sheets.
“Thank you, Connor.”
My heart somersaults and I press a kiss to his forehead. If he’s thanking me for the orgasm, well, I’m coming out of that one a winner too, baby.
I strip the bed down in record time and wrestle a fresh fitted sheet over the mattress. When I turn back to Donnie, he’s gazing at me with half-lidded eyes and a tiny grin on his lips.
I crouch down in front of him. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Feeling better after the shower?”
He nods and blinks slowly. My heart swells with so much affection and love for him, for this man who appeared out of nowhere, who helped hold me together when I was falling apart.
He’s strong and capable, but gentle and unguarded at the same time.
I’ve never met anyone like him before and I’m pretty sure I never will.
I press another kiss to his forehead. It still burns hot under my lips, but Donnie doesn’t look as wrecked as he did when I first found him. I get him back into bed, with fresh blankets tucked in around him.
I hold up another bottle of Gatorade and when he nods, I twist the cap off for him. “I’m gonna heat up something from the fridge.”
Donnie scowls. “There should be canned soup in the pantry.”
“Canned soup?” I over-exaggerate my surprise. “Since when do you eat canned soup?”
“Extenuating circumstances.”
I laugh. “Okay. I’ll go check. You’ll be okay up here?”
He smiles sleepily at me. “I’ll be fine.”
I leave him sipping his Gatorade and go downstairs to find exactly two cans of minestrone soup in the pantry. I pour them both into a pot to heat up on the stove.
I can’t cook nearly as well as Donnie can but I know the basics.
Spaghetti with pasta sauce. Eggs, bacon, and toast. If Donnie has a slow cooker stashed around here somewhere, I can make chili from canned beans and tomatoes.
I have no idea what to do with the eggplant, parsley, and cabbage I find in the fridge though.
There’s a sleeve of crackers in the pantry and I put them on the tray along with our bowls of soup to bring up to Donnie.
He’s sitting exactly where I left him, propped up against the headboard, eyes closed, head lolling to one side.
I set the tray down on the ottoman next to the armchair and gently shake Donnie awake.
He grimaces as he stretches his neck. “Sorry, I fell asleep.”
“You’re supposed to be sleeping. I’m sorry I took so long.” I bring him his bowl and make sure he’s got a good grip on it before I let go.
“Thank you. Smells amazing.”
I snort, even as warmth spreads through me. “It’s canned soup. I just heated it up.”
Donnie takes a sip and lets out a quiet sigh. The look of calm contentment on his face makes me want to scoop him up and hold him in my lap. I’m so incredibly lucky that he was at Mars that night. Who knows where I’d be right now if he hadn’t been there to catch me when I fell?
I bring my own bowl of soup to the bed and sit at his feet. He lifts his spoon to his lips again and my eyes latch onto the pale band of skin around his ring finger. I gasp silently and stare. He’s taken off his wedding ring. When did he do that?
“How, uh…” I force myself to take a sip of soup and slow myself down. “How was lunch and stuff yesterday?”
Donnie looks at his hand too, and he doesn’t answer right away.
When he lifts his gaze to mine, I’m hit by the depth of emotion in his eyes.
There’s still a hint of grief and sadness—the little piece of Roger that he’ll always carry around with him.
But there’s so much peace, so much joy, and so much affection. It’s all aimed at me.
“It went well.”
I drag in a breath, taking in all the feelings Donnie’s directing toward me. They fill me up, seeping into all my nooks and crannies, until I feel like I’m going to explode with happiness.
“Tell me?”
“Phyllis and Leonard want to meet you.”
My eyes bulge. “You told them about me?”
Donnie nods slowly, then stills. “I told Roger about you too. I mean… at the cemetery.”
I swallow down my emotions so I can speak. “And?”
Donnie smiles again, with all that peace and joy and affection. “I think he would have liked you.”
Oh god, my heart is so full. “I think I would’ve liked him too.”
Donnie rubs his thumb across his bare ring finger. It’s the same gesture he did when he played with the ring. “It was time.”
I nod.
When he reaches his hand to me, I take it and bring it to my lips. I hold it there. If you’re listening, Roger, I promise to take care of him. You can trust him with me.
We finish eating and I make sure Donnie’s all tucked into bed, with his phone close by in case he needs to reach me. I take the tray back downstairs and head out to the grocery store. If we want to eat anything besides takeout for the next couple days, I need stuff I actually know how to cook.
It’s sunny when I step outside. The sky is blue and spotted with those fluffy white clouds. It’s one of those days when everything is perfect and nothing can go wrong. When strangers smile as we pass each other on the sidewalk, and puppies run up to me for head scritches.
I pull my phone out as I walk and dial the number for Mars. Sawyer answers.
“Hey Sawyer, it’s Connor.” Sawyer and I have chatted more every time I’ve been at Mars. He’s a cool guy, getting his bachelor’s degree part-time while he works at the gym.
“Hey, Connor! What’s up? How’s it going?”
Things are going freaking great. I’m in love with Donnie and he took his wedding ring off and I might be the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. I don’t say any of that.
“Actually, I’m calling because Donnie’s caught a cold or the flu or something.”
“Oh, shit. Is he okay?”
“I think so. He just needs to rest. So he’s not gonna make it to his classes for the next couple days.”
“Yeah, yeah, cool. No prob. I’ll let Beau and Gavin know. We can find someone to cover for him.”
I can hear Sawyer shuffling things around on the other end of the line. “Thanks. I’ll have Donnie reach out when he’s feeling better.”
“Awesome! I hope he gets better soon!”
I hang up and send a message to Rick.
Connor
Hey Rick, since we don’t have any shoots lined up for this week, is it okay if I work from home? My
I stop walking. What exactly do I call Donnie? I want to say boyfriend, but am I allowed to do that yet?
roomie is sick and I’d like to stay with him.
I can’t imagine why Rick would say no, so I slip my phone back into my pocket and lift my face toward the sky.
When Donnie gets better, we should go to the park.
We can have a picnic and then catch one of those free movies they play in the summer.
I’ll need to check the schedule for those.
We should go cycling too. I wanna ride behind him so I can watch those thighs and ass in action.
I grab a basket at the fancy grocery store Donnie likes to shop at.
I’m more of a Trader Joe’s guy myself, but Donnie’s place is closer to home.
I head straight for the canned goods aisle and stock up on chicken soup, beef stew, and a few different kinds of beans and crushed tomatoes.
A box of spaghetti and a jar of sauce from the pasta aisle.
I swing through the fruit section, picking up bananas, navel oranges, and grapes, because I think Donnie will try to revolt if I don’t give him at least a couple healthy options.
I balk when the cashier tells me the total, but I hand over my credit card anyway. It’s fine. It’s for Donnie. It’s worth it.
With my arms full of groceries, I don’t notice until it’s almost too late. One second, I’m strolling down the sidewalk, eager to get back to Donnie. The next, my brain clocks a familiar face—two familiar faces. My feet stumble to a stop and spin me around.
Half a block away, Miles and Wyatt are standing face-to-face, gazing into each other’s eyes.
My heart is racing, but I take a few slow breaths and it calms down.
Wyatt wasn’t lying then. They really are in love.
It’s obvious even from this far away. I don’t think Miles ever looked at me the way he’s looking at Wyatt.
Like he can’t take his eyes off him. Like there’s nothing else in the world that matters but him.
It’s hard to believe I never saw it when it was right in front of my face.
Especially since I know what it looks like now—it’s the way I look at Donnie.
I take another breath and I feel… annoyed more than anything else.
I was having such a good day—I mean, all things considered—and I don’t want Miles and Wyatt ruining it for me.
I have less than zero interest in talking to them.
Whatever affection or friendship I had there is gone now and I don’t miss it.
I’m fine. I’m good. I’m better than good.
“Connor?”
I jump and spin toward the voice, biting back a curse. Benedict and Zev are friends Miles and I used to go out on double dates with all the time. And from the way they’re peering over my shoulder, faces painted with guilt, it seems like they’re continuing the tradition—without me.
“How are you doing?” Zev asks. The concern lacing his voice makes my skin crawl.
As if he actually cares how I’m doing. Neither of them has reached out in the weeks since I walked in on Miles and Wyatt. All those times we sat at the same table, sipping mimosas over brunch, all those karaoke nights and getting drunk at a club—none of it meant anything to them.
Or if I’m honest with myself, to me. I haven’t thought about brunch or karaoke or going out to a club.
I haven’t thought about Benedict or Zev or any of the people I used to call friends.
They were never really my friends, were they?
They always belonged more to Miles. Except for Wyatt and well… whatever, Miles can have him too.
“We’re really sorry for what happened,” Benedict adds when I don’t answer right away.
I snort. Right, I don’t believe that for a second.
“Where are you staying now? Are things okay?” Zev picks up.
I roll my eyes and hike my bags higher onto my shoulder.
“I’m fine,” I say and strut off in the direction I came from. They can have their double date. I have something better waiting for me at home.