Chapter 30
CHAPTER
THIRTY
CONNOR
At twenty to one o’clock, Donnie drags us back to the car so we’re not late for the party. I don’t want to leave the park. I’d rather spend the afternoon with him, doing literally anything but go to the party. I’d even go to like, a nutritional diet seminar with him if he wanted.
But nope, Donnie’s all about doing the right thing, so we drive back to my parents’ house, only to find we can’t actually drive to the house. There are cars lining the curb down the entire block and around to the next one too. We finally find an empty spot two streets away and walk back.
How many people did Brad invite? The answer is a lot.
But then, my parents know a lot of people.
It’s not just all of our extended family—aunts and uncles and more cousins than I can count.
It’s also all their friends from decades in the workforce and bowling leagues and knitting clubs and oh my god, the backyard is a zoo.
There’s gotta be a fire code violation in here somewhere.
We’re no more than two feet inside the backyard when I’m ambushed and I lose my hold of Donnie’s hand.
“Connor! Where’ve you been?” Alisha, my cousin, crushes me in a hug.
“Yo, dude. You come back and you don’t even let us know?” Nate, her brother, gives me a crushing hug too.
“Hey, Mr. Big City! When’d you get here? How long are you staying?” Candace, yet another cousin, is next in line.
“I just got here yesterday and I’m leaving tomorrow and surprise! I’m here!” I look around for Donnie but he’s disappeared into the crowd.
“Have you lost weight?” Alisha asks, pushing me away so she can give me a once-over.
“Nice thighs. You’re not skipping leg day, are you?” Nate jokes.
“Uh, something like that.” I haven’t lost weight. In fact, I might weigh more from all the spin classes and healthy eating that Donnie’s got me doing. Speaking of, where is he? I crane my neck to see over the tops of people’s heads but there’s no signature salt and pepper hair in sight.
“What’s up? You looking for someone?” Candace asks.
“Sorta. Um, have you seen an older guy? Kinda silver fox-y?”
“Silver fox, huh?” Alisha turns to help me look. “That guy?”
I follow her pointed finger and yep, there’s Donnie with what I suspect is cranberry juice and soda water, talking to someone I don’t recognize.
“Yeah, thanks.” I squeeze between Nate and Candace, ignoring their protests about abandoning them. I can’t abandon them when they trail after me in a single file like lemmings.
The woman Donnie’s talking to excuses herself right before I get there.
“Who was that?”
“A friend of your mom’s. They do some sort of crafting thing together.” Donnie’s eyeing the posse of cousins who’ve followed me across the backyard. “Hi…”
Nate jumps in before I can introduce them. “Hey, I’m Nate. We’re Connor and Brad’s cousins.”
“I’m Candace.”
“Alisha. And you are?”
“This is Donnie,” I say, trying to wrangle back control of the situation. “He’s my boyfriend.”
All three sets of eyes snap to me. “Boyfriend?”
“What happened to that other dude? What’s his name?”
“Miles. What happened with Miles?”
“I mean, I’m sure you’re great, Donnie. Do you work out?” Alisha’s feeling up Donnie’s bicep and he takes a sip of his cranberry soda, using the cup to hide his smirk.
“Yes, he does work out. Donnie’s a spin instructor. And Miles is no longer in the picture, so can we just let that go?”
Alisha and Candace exchange a look and I know I’m not going to escape their interrogation later.
Nate’s stepped in front of everyone, like we’re all invisible, to talk to Donnie. “Spin instructor, huh? You know anything about intermittent fasting? Does that help build muscle?”
It’s like that for most of the party. The five of us staked out around a table in the corner of the backyard, taking turns grabbing food and drinks from the buffet table and bar.
Donnie fits right in with my cousins and answers way too many questions from Nate.
I catch up with Alisha and Candace, about the guy Candace is seeing and the horrible dates Alisha’s been on recently.
At one point, Brooke and Aurora come rushing up to us. They finally get to put on that spinning demonstration their mother thwarted, and end up flat on the ground giggling their heads off. Donnie, as the resident spin professional, declares them expert spinners.
The sun dips below the horizon and lanterns flicker to life all around the backyard. Brad’s had fairy lights strung up overhead and they look like stars blinking against the night sky.
I drape an arm around Donnie’s shoulders and he leans into me like we’ve been doing this for years. This is really nice. I’m really happy. It floors me.
I thought I was happy back in that apartment with Miles, working at random coffee shops with Wyatt.
Now I know that was a poor facsimile of happy—not even that, it’s like the third layer down on one of those old carbon copy things, the writing so faint you can’t read it anymore.
I might have gone through life thinking that’s all there was to it if I hadn’t walked in on Miles and Wyatt that day.
My life is so much more now. A beautiful house with my own freaking office and a legit-ass theater room.
I’ve got an exciting new screenplay and someone who wants to help me develop it into an actual film.
But most importantly, I’ve got a sexy, sophisticated, caring man who I get to go to sleep with every night.
This is real happiness. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
The music dies down and the sound of clinking glass draws everyone’s attention to the raised deck where Brad is standing with Mom and Dad. He’s holding a glass of champagne.
“Thank you, everyone, for coming to Kathleen and Harold’s fortieth-anniversary party. I’d like to make a toast, so if you need a drink refill, now’s the time to get it.”
“Anyone?” Alisha asks the table before slipping out of her seat to go to the bar.
“Mom, Dad, forty years. Damn, that’s a long freaking time.”
Chuckles ripple out through the crowd.
“You know, when you’re a kid, getting married, or becoming a parent, they’re just things you do one day. You don’t question it, whether it’s something you even want or how difficult it might be. At least, I never questioned it. It was always a given for me.
“And I know, some of you might think that I was going through the motions of life or whatever. But I think the reason I never questioned it was because of you, Mom and Dad. I mean, it’s not like you never fought or you were always the perfect parents—”
“Hey, watch your mouth, young man,” Dad interrupts to a spike of laughter.
Brad waves his hand to calm the crowd. “What I was going to say was that you made it look easy, you made it look fun, like that was the best possible thing I could do with my life. Why the heck would I want to do anything else.”
I snort, because like, what the fuck. There’s an entire world of other things people might want to do. Not everyone wants the white picket fence, the giant SUV, and two-point-five kids, Brad. No offense to Brooke and Aurora. Donnie pinches my side where he knows I’m ticklish. “Hey, no fair.”
On the deck, Mom’s sniffling, blinking tears from her eyes and yeah, I guess it’s a good toast and all, but seriously?
“And then I actually got married and I actually had kids and well…” Brad grimaces. “Either you two have some secret sauce you’re not sharing or you’re really good fakers.”
“They’re really good fakers!” someone in the crowd shouts.
“Right? Because marriage is hard and being a parent is hard and oh my god, I’m so tired all the time. Were you tired all the time?”
Mom and Dad both nod. “All the time,” Mom says.
“Forty years and you haven’t killed me or Connor. You haven’t killed each other. That’s a huge accomplishment in my books.” Brad finds his wife a few feet away. “I only hope that Hazel and I can do as well as you have.”
He raises his glass. “So, here’s to Kathleen and Harold and the next forty years. Happy anniversary!”
The party ripples with more well wishes and I drain the rest of my beer.
There’s nothing wrong with Brad’s little speech.
There’s nothing wrong with celebrating forty years of marriage—I get it, it’s impressive.
Except it feels like we’re painting right over all the ways that this family doesn’t work.
The conversation between Donnie and Mom notwithstanding, she and I haven’t actually said anything to each other that sounds remotely like we’re trying to change. I want to change. I hope we do. I’m just not super optimistic when it comes to my family.
Donnie squeezes my knee. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
He doesn’t believe me and that’s fine too. My gripes aren’t something that can be fixed in a day, with a single conversation. The important thing is that Donnie’s here.
It’s another hour or so as the party winds down. We say goodbye to Alisa, Nate, and Candace, then escape downstairs and lock the door behind us.
I push Donnie up against the door and my fingers get to work on the buttons of his shirt.
Donnie chuckles. “Everyone’s still upstairs, darling.”
“So?” I nip at his collarbone as I push the two sides of his shirt apart.
“We’ll be quiet.” I find the spot on his neck where his pulse beats steady and strong.
There’s no hickey there at the moment—in deference to my parents—but I swirl my tongue in circles, wishing I could seal my lips onto his skin.
Soon. Tomorrow. The perma-hickey is going back in place.
Donnie slants his mouth across mine, licking his tongue into me the way he did this morning. There’s so much intention in the kiss, so much deliberate worship that my knees go weak and I pin Donnie to the door.