Chapter Summer
SUMMER
He’s surprisingly delicate as he combs through my hair, each tender stroke of his fingertips sending a wave of anticipation through me. I sit cross-legged on the bed, and his solid chest radiates heat, making me feel completely secure in his arms.
All thoughts of being self-conscious around Mase have been obliterated, along with the thoughts of me selling my virginity to him having been replaced with affection and, dare I say it, almost loving care.
I always thought I would feel inadequate if I saw him again, putting him on a pedestal of being too good for me, too manly, but there’s something endearing about him.
Something vulnerable he doesn’t like to expose, and I can’t help but wonder if his father had a hand in his insecurities, or if it was someone else.
I’ve never paid attention to Jeff’s tirades whenever he vaguely mentioned his blood son.
According to him, he wasn’t fit to receive the family name.
Of course, I never believed a word the man uttered.
The vitriol that left him on a daily basis had become like oil, sliding away with ease, but now I’m curious as to why he felt that way to begin with.
“Did you and your father have a falling out?”
“You could say that.”
I tip my head to glance over my shoulder, and his lips spread into a huge smile I find myself mirroring.
“We never got along. He was an abusive bastard to my mom.”
My stomach coils as he recounts his childhood.
“She tried to leave him so many times.” He shakes his head.
“One day, we tried fleeing, and she was in such a frantic state.” He swallows, and I feel the emotion in his tone.
“She panicked, and we hit the curb on a freeway. It caused a huge wreck, and it created a pileup. My mom and two others died at the scene.”
I jolt in his embrace, my heart plummeting.
“Mase, I’m so sorry.” I wrap my arms around his neck and cling to him.
“The necklace I wear, the ring on it, was my mother’s. I never want to be without a part of her. She was my everything, and I’ll never forgive my father for his ill treatment of us. He cheated on her so many times, and it broke her, Sum. I hated him for it.”
My naked chest is against the fabric of his T-shirt, and the beat of his heart pounds against me so strongly it’s like I’ve become a part of him too.
I never want to live another day without feeling him against me either. His strength, his dominance, and his control. I want to feel safe in his arms forever while he shows me the man I know he can be.
But that’s not how my story is going to end; I know it already. My plan was decided a long time ago, before Indulgence was offered to me to get me the hell out of here, and now, there’s no going back.
A sob leaves my throat, and I wish I could take it back.
I wish I could be stronger for him. To be the person he needs me to be, to allow him to lean on me in this moment.
But knowing what I know, the thought of never holding him again has my emotions bleeding out of me like a gaping wound I’m unable to mend.
The ring isn’t a symbol of his love for an ex-lover, and while that brings me comfort, I hate the fact he’s had to endure such pain.
“Hey. I’ll keep you safe, Sum. I promise.
” He whispers soft promises into my hair and strokes my back.
“Don’t cry, sweet girl. I’m here for you.
” His words are meant to reassure me, but they only break my heart further.
They’re everything I want to hear and everything I shouldn’t. Not while holding such a dark secret.