Chapter 40
FORTY
MASE
We remain quiet on the drive home. I unraveled her hair from the braid I love so much so I could play with the golden strands while she rests her head in my lap, with her lips suckling me.
It’s as if she knew I needed comfort after my savage actions.
My mind scrambled with turmoil as soon as I came down from my orgasm.
I loved and loathed what I’d done, but Summer continuously reassured me it was what she wanted.
But I knew by the way she spoke that I’d hurt her throat, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her.
The soft sounds she emits as she suckles brings with it a sense of solitude, and when I steal a peek, she smiles back up at me.
With her lips stretched around my cock, she sucks so innocently while the turmoil plays out in my head like a movie.
Only, it isn’t, it’s a fucking memory, yet another one that plagues me.
Previously …
We went on a date tonight, and Tara flirted with every man in sight.
I don’t know if she even realizes she’s doing it anymore because she no longer glances at me or attempts to catch my eye.
She just does it like I don’t exist, like she doesn’t care.
Another way of humiliating me in front of my friends.
Owen asked me earlier if I told her about the divorce papers, but I didn’t want to rock the boat. She’s been better recently, not as angry or abusive, and I don’t want to risk her mood changing where it becomes unbearable again.
“You’ve been quiet all night. What’s wrong?” she asks, unclipping her diamond earring and placing it on the dresser along with the other. It’s not lost on me that I don’t recognize them. She might have purchased them for herself, but more than likely, someone else did.
Either way, I don’t care.
“I saw you talking to Owen. You were fine until you spoke with him.”
She’s never liked my friends, not one of them. I’m pretty sure it’s because they don’t like her either. But our friendships are the only thing I’m not prepared to budge on. Besides, she knows I have to work with them to continue making our business a success and keep her in her luxuries.
“You should look at just selling your shares if your friends are making you miserable.”
I spin to face her fully, and when she slowly peels her skimpy dress off her shoulders, my cock twitches to life.
It’s been a while since I saw her naked, saw any woman naked.
My friends have encouraged me to join them at strip clubs, but I make an effort to stay away out of respect to my wife and the fact I’d probably come in my pants like a teenager just for seeing bare tits, it’s been so long.
Her red G-string slides to the floor, and when she turns to face me, my gaze roams over her bare tits.
They sit on her chest unmoving, an enhancement I never wanted her to have, but Tara insisted, so much so, she disappeared on me for weeks on end and returned with them done, along with an ass that looks nothing like the ass I knew her to have.
She said it made her feel better, and that’s all I ever wanted, and like an idiot, her words had given me hope, hope she might just be a better person.
“Do you have a condom?”
This snaps me out of my daze, and I rummage in my jacket pocket for my wallet. “Get yourself hard, then. You can have me tonight.”
She talks as if she’s a reward, and I guess this is, but for what, I’m unsure. She lifts the bedsheets and slides beneath them.
I slowly undress, willing my cock to harden. Ever since she cheated on me, it’s taken me longer and longer to get hard, and the more I think about it, the more difficult it becomes.
So, I’ve no choice but to do what I have to. My mind whirls, conjuring up images of the life I wish I had. A woman who appreciates me, someone of natural beauty, who wants me as much as I want them, not a calculated exchange in return for grandeur, making our love life seem sordid.
I pump my cock. The girl I’m with will beg me for my cock.
After another few pumps, I’m able to tear the condom open and slide it down my length. I climb onto the bed and position myself between her open legs.
“Condom, Mase.” She taps my shoulder. “Are you wearing a condom?”
“Yes,” I retort, pissed she’s spoiling my moment. I want to tell her I will always wear a condom, that I don’t trust her enough not to. I don’t want her pregnant as much as she doesn’t want to be because then I would be trapped, but I keep my mouth shut, knowing it will upset her.
“I don’t want a baby, that’s all,” she mumbles as I slide inside her. How she’s wet, I’ve no fucking clue. There’s been no preparation on my part, but a part of me doesn’t care.
She doesn’t want a baby with me is all she means.
I close my eyes as I pull my cock out, then slide back in, hating the way this exchange is happening. The girl I’m fucking will plead for me to not just fill her with my cum, but come in her too. She’ll fucking bathe in it.
My hand moves up toward her face with the intention of holding her in place for my lips to meet hers.
“Don’t touch my face, Mason. I’ve done my skincare tonight. You know this. Jesus,” she hisses. “You know I’ve been to the dermatologist this week. Did you forget already?”
I shake my head and try to get back in the moment.
“You always take too long to come,” she shrieks. “I’ve never had this with any other guy.” Her saying that out loud is like a blade, not only piercing me but also grinding as deeply as it possibly can, inflicting the most extreme pain possible. It’s cruel and unjust.
My mind wanders. My girl would only ever want me, to fuck me all the time, to long for me like her life depended on it.
“Can you hurry up! I need to be up early tomorrow; I’m going out for lunch.” Tara’s whine spears through me, causing me to deflate, and I grind my teeth on a frustrated growl, pull my cock out, get off the bed, and head toward the bathroom.
She probably thinks I came. But I didn’t. I can’t. Not when she doesn’t want me, and truthfully, I’m not sure I want her anymore either.
“Mason?” she calls out as I throw open the bathroom door.
“Yeah?” I drop the empty condom into the bin and glare down at my cock, not even a fucking twitch now.
“We’re not getting a divorce if that’s what you were discussing with Owen,” she snipes, and I drop my forehead against the mirrored wall.
What the hell are you doing, Mase? Your love for her has turned to loathing. She’s destroying you from the inside out.
“You don’t deserve me; you know that, right? But nobody else would have you!” she bellows from the bedroom, and I flinch. I know… I don’t deserve anyone at all.
The memory sends a wave of panic through me, and my heart flutters with anxiety. My hands grip the steering wheel tighter.
Fuck, I hate this feeling of being so totally powerless.
But worst of all, I hate the fact that memories assault me at random times. Especially when we’ve had such a good day.
“I’m sorry,” I say in a hushed tone as I glance down at Summer, and she searches my face. “If I hurt you, I mean.”
She pulls my cock from her mouth, and I miss her instantly. She sits up, and I feel her scan my face as I look toward the road until she rests one hand on my cheek and the other on my shoulder, then I give myself over to her warmth.
“You.” She kisses my cheek. “Mason.” She places a kiss along my jawline. “Campbell.” Kiss. “Could.” Kiss. “Never.” Kiss. “Hurt me.”
My pulse quickens, and like a dam that’s burst, a rush of love spreads through me like a wildfire.
“You’re worthy,” she whispers, and my breath hitches. Does she realize the impact of her words? The genuine smile on her face tells me she does, and Jesus, my chest swells.
Then she snaps me out of my thoughts when she lies back down and slides her lips around my cock, gifting me with the comfort she knows I crave.
How the hell can anyone be so in-tune with another? So perfect.
I think I somehow conjured up the perfect woman, and now that I have her, I’m terrified of losing her and everything she promises.
“I could watch you please me for an eternity,” I groan, meaning every damn word. “But I’d rather experience it.” Forcing away the memories that plague me and replacing them with the new, I thrust deeper into her throat.
Everything about tonight has been perfect. She’s perfect, and there’s not a damn thing in this world that could change that.