25. Chapter 25 Jack
Chapter twenty-five
I never had a doubt that Ledger had finally found his perfect mate in Sloane, but if I had, fuck, her standing up to her parents tonight would have convinced me.
My life has been, for all intents and purposes, pretty damn easy.
Sure, I gained a complex or two along the way, considering I had an asshole of a dad who abandoned me and a mom who died when I was young.
But I knew what real parental love was, thanks to Blanche.
I never had to wonder if I mattered to her or if she cared about my happiness.
She proved time and time again that I was a priority, and I was only one of four kids who were depending on her. I don’t know how she did it.
Sloane’s parents, though. I wince, thinking about the things they said to her tonight, especially her piece-of-work mother.
Blanche wanted to have a little celebratory dinner after the Christmas play she directed, but the newlywed couple thought it would be the perfect time to tell Sloane’s parents they were now married.
Long story short, her mom showed up with her asshole ex, who started a crap ton of drama and effectively caused Sloane's parents to disown her.
And to think that poor girl is an only child, so she didn’t even have anybody to commiserate with as a kid, or anyone to take any of the pressure off with humor, like I tried to do tonight.
I take another sip of my drink, thinking again about how lucky I was to grow up with siblings.
Without Henry, Ledger, and…Margot, I gulp, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
I zone back in to my surroundings in time to see Margot and Sloane continuing to pass out gifts from underneath the tree.
Ledger keeps trying to get Sloane to sit down and relax, but she keeps swatting him away, talking about being a good host for the first holiday in their home.
Margot brings me a present and adds it to my growing pile, giving me a little wink as she bends over in front of me.
God, she’s beautiful. She’s always been pretty, but now, in the glow of the Christmas tree, she’s devastating, more confident in who she is as a woman…
everything. Leave it to Margot to wear pink, even on Christmas Eve. My own personal Barbie, always.
My eyes follow her across the room, but she makes her way to Ledger next, and I remember precisely how defensive he’s always been when it comes to Margot.
None of her boyfriends have ever been good enough for her, according to Ledger, and while I’ve always vehemently agreed with him, I’m also well fucking aware that I’m not good enough for her.
And I’m sure he’d agree. The thought of him being mad at me, or worse, disappointed in me, threatens to send all the holiday treats I’ve eaten tonight right back up my throat.
He’s never said anything directly to me about Margot being off-limits, but I know it’s only because it probably hasn’t ever once crossed his mind that I would cross that line.
It would be the ultimate betrayal to have her in the ways I want.
Not to mention, Henry, who, despite being older and not around as much, has been there for me whenever I needed him.
Even more so with us getting our club off the ground.
And Blanche…I can count on one hand how many times she’s been pissed at me in my life, and I’m pretty sure I cried like a baby every single time I thought I disappointed her.
And now I want to take their princess and defile her in all the best ways.
But I also want to spoil her. Give her everything. Protect her, fight for her, be her partner…and continue being her best friend just like always. Would that be enough for the Sinclairs? Even if I’m not the man they imagined for her, could I be enough?
We could have Christmas just like this, in a bigger house because Sloane and Ledger will end up with a football team of kids.
A big spread of food and a million presents under the tree.
Too many stockings for one mantel to hold.
Margot, wearing a pink silk dress, turning to the side to show the profile of her baby bump as she gives me a wicked smile and gestures subtly toward the staircase for us to sneak off…
That way madness lies. I know. I know.
The worst question that I despise myself for even asking…
if it was a choice between her or them, which would I choose?
She’s the only true happiness I’ll have in this world, I know it deep in my soul.
But they’re the only family I’ve ever had, and the only place a lonely little kid has ever felt at home.
And when she inevitably realizes she deserves so much more than me? She’ll leave and take them with her.
Fuck. I’d lose her too. I can’t lose them. I won’t.