Chapter 11 Merrick
MERRICK
Our week in the mountains raced by. It felt like we’d only just arrived, and suddenly, we were going home. They say it’s always better to leave before you’re ready than to wish you were gone, but I’d have loved to test that theory.
We were headed back to the real world, to our jobs and our lives.
No longer would it be the two of us spending every waking moment together, enjoying our new bond and forgetting about the world around us.
I didn’t want to go home, and I didn’t want King to go home, but here we were, driving down the mountain and back to reality.
Not wanting to end our time together on a sour note, I slapped on a happy face and pretended like everything was great. It wasn’t like King wasn’t going to be in my life after we said goodbye. He was still mine and I was his.
We were still new, and while I understood that shifter relationships went a mile a minute, I wasn’t a shifter. From my perspective, it was all going at warp speed. And that was the only thing that held me back when we parted ways.
I walked into my apartment and looked around, waiting for the sense of being home to settle in. I was a homebody and would always be one. Usually when I was gone for more than a normal work shift, I came home and felt like I was finally where I belonged. Today, that wasn’t the case.
This place, the one that held my belongings, wasn’t home anymore. King was, and he was driving back to his own place. It took everything I had in me not to call him and ask him to come back. I hadn’t been here five minutes and already I missed him terribly.
I stood at the window, trying to convince myself to let King be. He needed to go home and get things situated so he could slide back into his daily routine in the morning. He didn’t need my guilt trip. Not that I’d intend for it to be one, but that was how it would come across.
As I watched the flurries fall, my resolve slowly crumbled. I was about to call him, to ask him to come back, when he pulled into the parking lot of my crappy apartment.
I raced down to him, so glad that he was back but also worried that maybe something had gone wrong.
“Did I forget something?” I asked.
“Yeah.” He climbed out of his car and crossed over to me and hugged me close. “I forgot you.”
“You forgot me? I thought I was pretty memorable.”
“You are.” He rubbed his cheek against mine.
“This is going to sound too fast, or maybe not fast, but do you want to live with me?” I couldn’t bear to think of him leaving again.
I’d never been this needy before, not with any guy I’d ever dated.
And if I had, I certainly wouldn’t have admitted it so freely for fear it would freak them out and send them running.
Only this wasn’t a guy I was dating. This was my mate, my one and only. If I couldn’t be open and honest with him, who could I be that way with? With King, I didn’t want to hold anything back.
As my question fell from my lips, all the tension he was holding fell away, his body relaxing against mine. “My place isn’t much, but it’s got what we need. Look at it before deciding.”
“The answer is yes. I don’t need to see it to know that I want to fall asleep in your arms each night and wake up in them each morning.”
“I still want you to see it first.” I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs. The only reason he hadn’t seen it earlier was because my car had still been at work and we parted ways there.
The tour was over just as it began. My place was not tiny-home small, but really close to it. Even if I described every piece of furniture and architectural element in the place, it still would be over in a few minutes.
“Do you like it here?” he asked me, and it surprised me. Shouldn’t I be asking him that?
“Yeah, it’s fine.” It had always done what I needed it to, and I’d kind of made it my own. It wasn’t going into a decorating magazine or being listed on one of the fancy realty shows as one of the great places you could get on a budget, but it worked for me.
“How about this?” he said. “You come look at my place, and then you decide where we should live.”
“Works for me.” I already knew he had his own home. It was going to be nicer and probably a better choice for us. “But you have to promise to do the same for me. Let me know which place is best for you, where you’re going to call home.”
He put his hand on my chest. “This is my home. Your place and mine are simply buildings.”
He drove us to his house. I knew he was a bigwig in his career and that his family had money I couldn’t comprehend, but it wasn’t until he drove up to his house that I saw how true that was. My heart pounded in my chest. He had a home, all right, one that I did not belong in unless it was as staff.
If I were to guess, the second we walked in, we’d meet a servant or two, or five. Or if we didn’t, they’d be there in the morning, because there was no way my mate could keep that place up and do all that he did. Heck, it was too big a job for one person who had nothing else to do.
He parked the car and placed his hand on my cheek. “Something changed. What is it?”
“I don’t belong here, Merrick.” It came out as a whisper.
“You belong anywhere you want to be.”
I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. “Then this isn’t where I want to be. Because every time I think about walking in there, I feel out of place. I’m sorry.”
I hated saying it, but holding it in when we were making life decisions wasn’t going to help either of us. Still, the guilt over feeling that way hung over me. This was where my mate lived, the place he chose. And I, unseen inside, did not want to be there. “Do you hate me?”
“Oh, mate.” His lips brushed against my forehead. “I could never hate you. And honestly, this place never felt like mine, either. It’s too big, too cold. How about this? Let’s live in your place, and we can talk about building something for ourselves… something that is good for both of us.”
Just like that, he gave up his home and offered a solution that was good for both of us. Not a single whine or grumble, either. No wonder my mate was so good at his work.
“I feel like Goldilocks.” I chuckled. “This house is too big, my place is too small. Let’s build one that’s just right.”
“Are you saying you want three bears?”
“No, silly bear. I just want one.” I rubbed my finger along where I’d marked him. “I’m thinking that I like this side of you.”
“My left?”
“No, sexy bear. The jealous side. Not that I want you to be jealous, but knowing that you care enough to be... is care the right word? Anyway—”
“You call me a silly bear, but you’re the one who’s glad my eyes turned green.” He had a point. “Let’s go back home. I need you to be in my arms, not with a console between us.”
“Don’t you need to get some things?”
“My suitcase is still in the car. That’s plenty of clothes, and even if they’re not work clothes, who cares? We can figure that out another time.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind? My place is pretty shitty.” It could be a whole lot worse, but compared to the place right in front of me, it was trash.
“Your place is perfect. It has you.” He turned on the ignition. “Now let’s go home and find ourselves some cookies.”
There was one thing we weren’t short on, and that was cookies.