Chapter 45 Liana
LIANA
Voices sound in my head like they’re far away yet still so close. I hear them clearly, but they’re like an echo in the deepest chambers of my mind.
“Is she going to be okay?”
“I think she’s in shock. Just keep driving. Drop us off at home, then ditch the car.”
Warm hands grasp the clammy skin on my face. “Liana. Mia moglie. Please wake up.”
It’s Massi.
His voice is full of concern, but he takes my hand in his, and I give it the lightest squeeze.
“Liana? Are you awake?”
I struggle to open my eyes, but when I do, Massi’s silhouette comes into view. There’s the smallest light illuminating part of his face, and I seem to be lying down with my head in his lap.
“Liana,” he sighs out in relief.
“W-what happened?” I croak out, my throat dry and hoarse.
He hands me some water, making sure to angle my head up slowly before letting me take a sip.
“W-what happened?” I attempt again after he lays my head back down in his lap, the hoarseness still prominent in my voice, but better this time.
“You passed out. I think it was …”
“Shock. I know. I heard you. But what …”
Suddenly, the dam holding my memories back breaks, and everything that happened comes flooding back to me.
“Is she okay?” Gui asks, concern lacing his voice.
“Liana,” Massi murmurs.
My eyes widen, and I can barely get the words out. “My … My …”
There’s a tightening in my chest and my breaths come out sporadic again. I can’t get control of my breathing.
“Mia moglie, you have to try and take deep breaths.”
Tears stream down my face.
“Massi, what’s going on back there?” Gui yells.
“Just get us home,” he snaps back, eyes still focused on me.
“Deep breaths, baby. I know this is fucking hard, but please. You have to breathe.”
He puts my hand on his chest, right above his heart. I focus on his quickened pulse and when he takes a deep breath in, then lets it out, I do the same, eventually syncing our breaths.
I’m not sure how long it takes but the tightening in my chest seems to loosen with each breath until I’m finally able to speak again.
“S-she’s alive.”
It’s dark, but the light reflecting off Massi’s face gives me enough of a glimpse that I can see the consolation in his eyes when he nods.
“She is.”
“D-did you know?”
He tenses under my touch, then removes my hand from his chest, placing it on my stomach, but doesn’t let go.
I don’t know why I asked because there’s no way he knew, but the words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them, and now I feel terrible for making him think I doubt him.
“I would never keep your mother being alive away from you, Liana. I promise you, I found out right before you did, and when I went to search for you to tell you, I couldn’t find you until …”
“Until I had already found out.”
There’s a hollowness inside of me. I feel … dead. Unsure how to react anymore.
“The shock and panic attack have exhausted you,” Massi says.
“I just …” Tears well in my eyes again. “I don’t understand what’s going on, Massi.” I feel so defeated. Physically. Emotionally. I don’t understand how the woman who I thought has been dead all these years has just been living here in Sicily, and apparently with another man.
What is going on?
“How could she leave me and never come back? What about my dad?” My voice gets louder and more frantic with each question I know Massi can’t answer.
“Where is he? Is he still alive? Did the plane crash even happen?” Before I realize it, my hand is gripping Massi’s with more strength than I ever knew I had. “I just don’t understand, Massi. I need to understand.”
He wipes the tears falling from my eyes. “I know, baby, and we will get you these answers. I promise you that.”
“I need them now,” I cry out, unable to hold back how distraught I am. “It hurts. It really hurts.” I bring his hand up to the ache in my chest. “Really fucking hurts.”
Brushing a strand of hair behind my ear, he bends down and holds me as I cry. I release everything I have, not understanding what’s going on. How can this be happening? My mom is alive, which means my dad probably is too. I need to figure out what’s going on.
My mind is running a million miles a minute, but right now, all I can do is let my emotions take over, and they’re shutting my brain down, forcing me to let go. I’ve never been more thankful to have Massi here to keep me from falling. To hold me up when I need him the most.