Chapter 12 #2
“Go out?” he asks as he looks over at me. His eyes fall down my body and back to my face. Warmth floods those pretty orbs before he walks over to me.
“Yeah. I mean, I know you’re not out , but I wanna take you for breakfast.”
Ethan smiles, but then his face falls and he chews at his lip. “Well, I don’t know if I’m ready for going out to a restaurant, but to the coffee shop, sure.”
“Got it.” I move to pull on the rest of my clothing—dark jeans, a button-up shirt, and my leather jacket.
“It’s not that I don’t want to be seen with you,” he explains, his brow knitting.
“I know,” I say. “You just don’t wanna be seen on a date with a guy right now.”
Ethan sighs and sits down on the edge of the bed. “I’m not ready. I’m still processing it in my own head. I can’t handle taking on other people and their opinions right now.”
I laugh as I’m buttoning my shirt, and then step over to place a hand on his neck. “Ethan. I said, I know. It’s fine.”
“Really, you’re not bothered by it?” he asks, looking up at me like a nervous little puppy.
I shrug. “Sure, I want people to know you’re mine, but if you aren’t ready, that’s okay.”
He’s suspiciously quiet, so I narrow my eyes at him. “What?”
“Am I yours?” he asks. “You haven’t asked me, and I haven’t asked you. There have been no official terms or agreement.”
I blink at him. “Terms and agreement? What, do you want me to draw up a contract?” I snort.
Ethan’s face turns red and he looks away from me. “I’m serious.”
I sit down to put my socks on, then scoot closer to him. “Okay, Serious. What do you need me to do?”
“Well, I asked Lena to be my girlfriend,” he explains. “But that was after a couple dates. We haven’t been on a single date.”
“No, we haven’t. Mind you, there hasn’t been much time for that, with all the car bombs, blood rituals, fucking, an’ all that,” I remind him. “Plus, you aren’t ready to be seen with me yet.”
He groans and puts his face in his hands. “I know, I know.”
“You’re not mine then, is what you’re saying?” I ask, my voice low, a tightness in my throat and chest.
He swallows and shakes his head. “No, I…yes. I don’t know. I’m not not yours, but…none of this is how I always planned for things to be. You meet someone, you chat, you go on dates, you become official, you get engaged, you get married, you have babies,” he rambles.
“You forgot, you meet a woman ,” I remind him. “All that shit is stuff you thought when you thought you were straight. Maybe how you do things isn’t the same as you thought you were supposed to.”
Ethan takes a breath. “You’re right.”
“What do you want?” I ask him.
He looks at the floor for a minute. “I want to be your boyfriend.”
A grin spreads across my face.
“But…the ritual thing terrifies me,” he admits, and my smile falters.
“Ah, it terrifies everyone, and you just learned about it.” I slide a hand over to rub his back.
He laughs. “Oh, well, thank you, Dante. That’s very helpful.”
It goes quiet between us. “So do you want me to ask, or wait for you to ask?” I eye him. “I’ve never asked a guy before.”
He licks his lips. “You.”
“Well then, puppy, it’s happening right the fuck now.” I smirk, scoot closer to him, and take his jaw in my other hand. “Ethan, will you be my boyfriend?”
Ethan’s eyes light up, his face flushing. I can sense the anxiety in him, but there’s happiness there, too.
“Yes.” Ethan leans in and wraps his arms around my neck, then smashes his mouth against mine.
I don’t need to hear anything else. I just pull him into my lap and kiss him deeply.
A giddy sense of satisfaction floods my chest. It’s almost too pure to actually be something I’m feeling.
Ethan Moore is my boyfriend.
“You sure you don’t want somethin’ more to eat?” I ask Ethan as we leave the coffee shop. We’re both holding cups of freshly brewed coffee, the second for each of us.
“No, I’m fine. I’ll eat a big lunch,” Ethan tells me. “I promise.”
I eye him a bit. He only ate a muffin in the shop, and after the sex we had, I’m not so sure that’s enough to keep him going. I’m fucking starving even after the bagel and cream cheese I ate.
“Send me a picture when you do.” I sip my coffee, not removing my gaze from his.
He blinks at me. “Is that an order?”
“Yes. Send me a picture of your food, so I know you’re eating,” I insist.
His face flushes, and I know it’s not from just the cold air.
“Got it,” he agrees, and his lips pull up at one corner.
I lick my own lips, staring at his for a moment.
“It’s real hard not to kiss you when you look like that,” I tell him quietly. We’re walking along the sidewalk near the coffee shop.
He looks to the side for a second, as if to see if anyone heard. There’s no one nearby except someone getting into their car.
“No one heard,” I assure him.
He looks at me again, his brow furrowed. “It’s not that,” he says. “Just…well, the last time I was here, my car exploded.”
I stop walking, and move closer to him as he stops as well.
“Nothin’ is gonna happen to you. I won’t let it,” I assure him.
He nods. “I know. Still, it’s hard not to think about. The pavement is still scorched and I’m pretty sure pieces of my car door are still embedded in the grass over there.”
I take a look around, my eyes scanning the pavement. “Well, let me get you away from here…or I can distract you.” I look at him, a small smile pulling at my lips.
He raises a brow. “Distract me how?”
“How do you wanna be?” I slide my hand onto his lower back, and he jumps a little bit.
“That tickles,” he mumbles.
I can’t help but snort. “It didn’t tickle last night.”
“Sometimes it just does.” He frowns at me, but then his eyes shift to my mouth. “I…would really like to kiss you before going to class.” His admission kicks me into gear.
“Come on, then.” I grab him by the wrist and pull him away from the storefronts around the corner of the last building.
“Where are we going?” Ethan asks.
I roll my eyes as I pull him closer, turn him around, and push him up against the brick wall. He gasps, but doesn’t push me away as I step in closer. I put a foot between his, my thigh resting just against his groin.
“Right here, baby,” I tell him in a low whisper.
“Mm. I guess this is okay,” he whispers back. Both of us are holding our coffees to the side and down. Mine nearly slips out of my fingers, but I don’t care. It’s the last thing on my mind.
Before I can lean in and kiss him, Ethan kisses me first, showing a confidence in this moment that I wasn’t expecting. He kisses me slow but deep, his lips melting into mine. Our lips are like fire and ice at the same time, moving in tandem, but getting more and more desperate as the seconds go on.
I moan into his mouth as I lick into it, tasting blueberry muffin and hazelnut latte. Ethan’s free hand slides onto my waist, and I press him tighter against the wall.
We have mere minutes before I know he’ll say he needs to get to class, that I need to get to class, so I want to make the most of this moment.
I slide my own hand up the front of his sweater and along his stomach, feeling his muscles tense under my fingers.
I dance my tongue around his, feeling his body turn into a puddle between me and the wall.
Ethan groans into my mouth and flicks his tongue against my own, as if to tell me he wants more. I break the kiss to breathe for a second.
“Fuck. I’d fuck you right here against this fucking wall if I could,” I growl at him.
He shivers and leans his forehead against mine. “I almost want to let you.”
I grin at him and slide my fingers along his belt.
“Almost,” he repeats, and then softly kisses the corner of my mouth.
Suddenly, I hear footsteps behind us.
“Seriously?” a voice says from behind us. I immediately turn around, shielding Ethan with my body, prepared to defend him in any way I have to.
“What the fuck do you want?” I hiss, not even knowing who it is.
In the early morning light, I recognize a fellow college student…and Greivan. Victor. He’s nothing in comparison to the others, just a lowly little freshman who barely does anything in the underground, but here he is, grinning at us like he’s doing something useful.
“I can’t believe you’re still messing with that little bitch,” Victor spits at me.
I take several steps closer, letting my cup fall to the ground as my hands ball into fists.
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin’ about, little boy,” I growl.
“Dante, what’s going on?” Ethan says from behind me.
“Aww, is your little bitch scared?” Victor taunts. “I don’t know why you’re even here with him. He’s never gonna give you what you want.”
My jaw clenches so hard my teeth hurt. “Shut the fuck up and find somewhere else to go before I send you to hell myself.”
Victor laughs. “You wouldn’t touch?—”
Before he can even finish his words, my feet carry me forward and I launch my fist right into his face. I hear the crack of my knuckles against his narrow jaw before he stumbles backward, blood pouring from his mouth.
“What the f-fuck!” he spits out, his eyes wide like a terrified little baby’s.
“Didn’t think I’d do it?” I huff at him, grabbing him by the front of his shirt.
Victor sputters. “You’ll pay for this. Is it worth it? For your straight little bitch?”
I grab him by the jaw, causing him to yowl in pain and try to pull away from me.
“Say one more thing about him and I’ll fucking kill you!”
“Dante!” Ethan yells from behind me.
My ears are ringing. I can hardly hear him, but he manages to break through.
“Get the fuck outta here.” I let go of Victor, nearly throwing him to the ground. He runs away, nearly tripping over his own feet and cursing at me while blood drips from his chin, but he’s leaving, and that’s all that matters.
My shoulders move with my heavy breathing and my knuckles throb, but it’s of no matter to me. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last.
After another second, I turn around to look at Ethan. He’s staring at me, eyes wide, and clutching his own coffee to his chest, his other hand shaking at his side.
“It’s alright, he’s gone,” I tell him. My voice is still rough.
Ethan nods slowly. “I…did you have to do that?”
“What do you mean?” I demand. “He was threatening you, talkin’ about you like that. I couldn’t let him do that.”
Ethan just stares at me. I take a step closer, and he steps back.
I see the reflection of my face in his eyes—the tightness of my expression, the darkness in my eyes.
“Are you scared of me?” I ask.
“No! N-No…I…” He takes a deep breath. “I just need to get to class.”
“Ethan…” I start, but he shakes his head.
“It’s just a lot, and we don’t have time. We should both get going,” he insists.
I take a step back, defensiveness creeping up into my chest. I want to tell him he’s being ungrateful, that I did it for him—but I can’t get anything out of my mouth. My throat feels tight just from the way he’s looking at me, like he’s questioning everything that’s happened between us.
“Fine.”
With that, I lead him back to the car, letting him get his things out, and I don’t stop him when he chooses to walk to class by himself.
But I think about it the entire time I’m walking to class.