Chapter 19
ETHAN
D ante.
Dante.
All I can think as I start to fade back into reality is him.
He saved me. Again. I need to see him. I need to talk to him. Feel him. I need to know that I’m alive and he’s here with me.
All I can sense is my own heartbeat, and I swear I can hear it, too. It’s a strange, robotic beep that tunes in and out of my fuzzy ears.
It starts to make sense, though. I start to remember.
I was getting coffee and muffins for Dante, and looking for a ride to get to him. Then the pain. Then nothing.
Wait. No, not nothing. Dante.
Whoever attacked me had fallen beside me, I can’t remember why. I can only assume that Dante laid them out before he scooped me up from the ground. I can still smell him—the leather of his jacket, the warm suede on the inside that was pressed against my head and face.
“Ethan.” My mother’s voice pulls me awake completely. I wiggle my fingers, or they twitch, I’m not sure. Everything feels warm and fuzzy, but not in the scary way it did when I passed out.
“Mom?” I mumble. My eyes are still closed.
I hear shuffling, and the beeping is even louder. As I open my eyes, I realize I’m in the hospital.
It takes a second or two for my vision to clear, though it still feels a bit hazy.
I groan. “The light.” My voice is a bit hoarse. I squint, trying to avoid the blinding light above me.
There’s a click and the lights turn off, but softer light from outside of the room and the windows to the left give me plenty of light to see by.
“Oh, Ethan, I was so worried,” my mom tells me, and I feel her hand on mine. Her face appears above me.
“I’m okay,” I whisper.
She huffs. “You don’t even know what’s happened! How can you be okay?”
I lick my lips. “I was attacked. How bad is it?”
She looks to the side, and my eyes follow hers.
“Dante,” I gasp. I start to sit up, but he steps closer and puts his hand on my chest. It’s just enough to discourage me, and I lie back down. I feel sore, but there’s not nearly as much pain as I’d expect.
“Dante, are you okay?” I ask him, reaching out for him with my other hand, but the IV line doesn’t let me.
“I’m fine,” he insists. “God, this is my fault, Ethan. I’m so sorry.”
I shake my head. “No, no. Please don’t?—”
“Ethan, don’t get worked up,” my mother insists. I realize I’m squeezing her hand hard. “There’s plenty of time to blame each other later.”
I nod and my eyes lock on Dante’s.
“I was coming to you,” I tell him.
He blinks. “You were?”
“Yes, I…Dante?—”
He cuts me off.
“I think you should see Nathan and Lena first,” he says slowly. “Then we can talk.”
I frown for a second, and then it hits me. “Wait, they’re here?”
“Yes, and they’re worried sick about you.
I had them step out while you woke up because I didn’t want to overwhelm you, but if you feel ready to talk to them, you can.
You’ll need to talk to the doctor and be examined again soon, though,” my mom tells me.
She’s stroking my hair softly, and it’s comforting.
I haven’t felt this for a long time, not since I was a kid, probably.
I don’t usually get into accidents or anything else she’d need to comfort me about.
I can’t help but squeeze her hand tighter.
“I love you,” I tell her. I feel a bit woozy, and everything in the room is a bit fluffy around the edges, like big cotton candy puffs.
She smiles at me. “I love you, sweet pea.”
She kisses my forehead, and then lets go of my hand.
She and Dante leave, much to my chagrin, and I watch as my best friend and ex-girlfriend walk in. The door stays open.
“If you didn’t look so terrible, I’d kill you, man,” Nathan says as he steps over to my bedside.
“Jeez, what did I do?” I grumble as I sink into the bed more, putting my hands under the blankets.
Lena sits on the end of the bed, looking at me with big, sad eyes. “Get the shit beat out of you,” she replies. “You never get in trouble, Ethan. Now you’re shacking up with Dante?”
“He saved me. More than once,” I admit.
Nathan eyes me. “What do you mean?”
I sigh, which kind of hurts. “The car accident wasn’t an accident. Someone planted a bomb in my car on purpose.”
Lena gasps. “What?! You didn’t think that was important to tell me? Or even Nathan? I know we broke up, but…Jesus Christ, Ethan.”
“Fuck, Ethan. Lemme guess, they did it because of Dante?” Nathan asks.
I huff, and my heart rate monitor beeps more aggressively.
“Yes, because he cares about me. They knew they could get to him through me.” My hands ball into fists, though the one with the IV struggles to.
“He saved my life, guys. He didn’t just tell me that I was in danger, he tackled me to the ground and shielded my fucking body with his.
If shrapnel had flown the wrong way, he’d be dead.
” My voice gets more and more strained, and tears start to drip down my face in frustration.
“I don’t care if you don’t like him. I don’t care if you think he’s not good enough for me.”
They stare at me. “Ethan, I…we didn’t know, we…” Lena says slowly.
“I know, I know, but…” I hiccup slightly through my tears. “I love him.”
Their faces soften. Lena touches my leg and Nathan sighs heavily, his fingers brushing along the railing of the bed.
“Ethan.” Dante’s voice comes from the doorway. He’s looking at me with glittery eyes. “I-I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but hear…”
He steps closer. Lena and Nathan look at each other and slowly move out of his way.
“Did you mean that?” he asks.
I sniffle. “Yes. Dante, I love you,” I tell him through my tears.
He takes my hand and holds it with both of his.
“I love you, too, Ethan,” Dante says, his voice cracking. “I love you so much. I can’t lose you.”
I squeeze his hands. “You won’t,” I promise.
“But I was wrong. You need to know that. I didn’t ever mean to pressure you into…
committing,” he says, and I know he’s saying it that way because of the other two people in the room.
Even my mother has crept in now, looking at us like she’s planning which wrapping paper she’s going to use for his Christmas present.
“You’re important to me no matter what. You’re enough, and you’ll always be enough.” He squeezes my hand tighter.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “B-But, I was coming to tell you…I want to be with you, and…I want to commit.”
“You mean…” he says slowly.
“Yes, maybe not…right now, but yes.” I smile softly.
Those tears in his eyes start to leak out. “I don’t need it. All I need is you, but if you want to, I want to.”
“Oh, come on, kiss already!” Lena blurts out, seeming to have gotten over her disapproval fairly quickly.
My face turns red, but that has never stopped Dante from kissing me, and it doesn’t now. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to my lips. It feels tingly and warm, and I giggle softly.
“I think…these pain meds are really good,” I whisper against his lips.
He smiles and kisses me one more time.
“I need to call your father again,” my mother says, but I hear emotion in her voice, even more than before, and she disappears rather quickly.
“I’ll get the doctor,” Lena insists, making herself busy and finding work to do no matter where she is, as always.
Nathan sits down in the chair beside the bed.
“Just so you know, I’ll kill you if you hurt him,” he tells Dante.
Dante nods. “The same goes for you.”
I roll my eyes. “Please just get along.”
They seem to do a decent enough job for the remainder of the day.
Nurses and doctors come in to examine me, explain the severity of my shoulder fracture, and make sure the medicine they gave me is working.
My mother repeats what they say about how important using the sling is and making sure not to overexert myself.
By the time I’m ready to leave, Nathan and Lena have already left.
“I’m so ready to go to bed,” I tell both my mother and Dante as my mother is wheeling me out of the hospital.
“As you should be. And stay in it for at least a few days,” she tells me. “Dante, are you planning on coming to stay with us when Ethan is?”
Dante shakes his head. Disappointment cuts through the hazy, medicated cloud of my feelings.
“I have a family wedding to go to,” he says.
“Aww, man, I’m missing the wedding!” I groan, and slump down in the chair.
“You wouldn’t have a good time in your shape,” Dante tells me. “People get way too drunk.”
“Well, that’s unfortunate. I can’t say I’m glad I met you this way, but I’m glad we know each other now,” my mom tells Dante.
I smile at them. “You’re cute.”
“And you’re high,” Dante says. “Let’s hope that lasts.”
It does, at least until later that night when I’m crying out in pain, and Dante helps me take a couple more pills.
What a way to start winter break.
Spending the rest of December and the first week of January recovering in my childhood home isn’t actually so bad. By the second week it’s exhausting having other people do everything for me. I can only sit, lie down, watch TV, and read for so long. I never though relaxing would be so difficult.
Starting physical therapy is a relief. I finally get to move around and get out of the house. It’s painful, though, and that pain never fully goes away. Even at the end of January, I’m still lacking a lot of my range of motion.
That doesn’t stop me from calling Dante late at night and asking him if he’s alone. Stroking my dick in my childhood bedroom with my hot boyfriend on the other end of the phone makes me feel like a teenager, giddy and sneaking around.
Eventually, being back in class and getting into a routine with Dante is starting to feel normal.
We ride to school together, and sometimes eat lunch together.
Lena and Nathan hang out with us now to study.
When Dante is busy with family work, I usually hang out with one or both of them, and things don’t feel quite as tense as they used to.
We’re not worried about me getting clubbed upside the head now that the Romanos’ main competition are their allies.