Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Lincoln
W aking up at 3 am to find Zara gone had been annoying, especially as we had been sending the extra security home when we returned each night With no one to reach out to and find out where she was, I went searching the house and not finding her had been terrifying. Discovering the security system was off had sent me into a panic, but that was nothing to how Colin had reacted. In the few minutes before I thought to track her, I’d thought she’d been taken.
When we located her signal a good forty-five minute walk up the mountain, so many thoughts raced through my mind. I’d almost called her, but, if she’d been running away, I hadn’t wanted to tip off that we could track her. Zara’s call to me thirty minutes later had at least eased that fear, but both Colin and I were still upset with our naughty princess.
The walk back to the house was fast even though I was carrying her. She’d fallen asleep almost as soon as Colin wrapped her up with the blanket. We were both more than a little surprised that neither of us had woken when she’d slipped from the bed. She was highly skilled in disappearing. What if she’d still been drunk or had fallen and hurt herself? What if she hadn’t brought her phone?
Anxiety raced through me as I thought of all the possible things that could have gone wrong. This couldn’t happen again. Colin and I would have to make our boundaries clear. Looking down at her peacefully sleeping face, I took a deep breath, taking comfort in knowing she was safe.
Colin led the way back to the house using his flashlight to illuminate the way. He moved with a silent, deadly grace. Barely a twig snapped as he moved through the woods, the sounds of the night and my own steps were the only things I heard. He was a born leader, although he rarely saw himself as such since we’d left the service.
I knew he was berating himself just like I was. If we’d remembered to set the alarm, she never could have gotten out without waking us. If we hadn’t slept so soundly, she couldn’t have snuck out. Could of, would of, should of, all thoughts that were pointless, but that wouldn’t stop both of us from cycling through them.
If we were going to keep her safe, something would have to change. How different my life was since I’d originally tried to convince Colin to hand her off to someone else. There was no way now that I would trust anyone but the two of us to be in charge of her.
I could tell from Colin’s stiff shoulders and the chaotic energy radiating from him that he was beyond angry, but also completely in control. He had every right to be furious, Zara had defied both of us by going out in the dark unprotected. Thankfully, she stayed on the property, but only because the property was so big. She knew we’d meant to stay within sight of the house.
Yeah, definitely strong boundaries that she would be expected to abide by would be set in place. If this had been any other time, we may have been able to laugh it off, or maybe turn it into a game, but with the Albanians presence now confirmed as being in Philadelphia, it was no laughing matter.
I placed her back in bed and she didn’t even stir. Her jaunt through the woods and the alcohol had their effect. Colin motioned me out of the room and we went downstairs. We headed to the kitchen just as the beginnings of dawn showed in the morning sky.
I went to place Zara’s abandoned water glass in the sink, then changed my mind and left it, taking her seat on the stool. Gazing out the huge picture window, I tried to see what she’d seen and what drew her from the house and into the darkness of the cool woods.
My gaze tracked to Colin and I watched him get busy making us coffee. He moved with the grace of a tiger stalking its prey through the grass. His outfit was the one he’d worn last night, having grabbed it from the floor when I’d woken him.
It was reminiscent of our Ranger days. There were so many missions where he was up first, making sure the men, including me, had what we needed. He was the most selfless person I’d ever met, and at times, I felt that fed his insecurities regarding his past choices. It was also why he chose the field in security instead of hiding behind tech like me. He needed to do something active. To feel useful.
I couldn’t handle people invading my space on a daily basis, not like before our service. There were only a handful of people I made room for in my life, and they were my found family. It had been years since I added a new name to those few I could tolerate. Zara was the first. Though with her, much like it was with Colin, it didn’t feel like making room or sharing. Instead, I felt like she belonged with me, and when she was gone, something was missing.
Colin placed the coffee in front of me and I lost myself in the swirling steam that rose from it. “I love you.”
We didn’t say those words to each other often, but we both knew it was a simple truth between us. He was the other half of my soul.
“I love you too.” He sat down on the stool opposite mine.
“I love her too.” My throat felt tight as I admitted the truth that meant there was one more person in this world who’s loss would wreck me beyond repair.
He took a sip of his coffee and stared down into the liquid as if it held the answers to the mysteries of the universe. “I do too. It scares the shite out of me. It’s why I wanted us to have some time before she woke up. We need a plan, and I’m not talking about wiping out the Albanians, though we need a plan for that also. We need a path forward.”
I nodded my head. “I get it.”
“Let's start with her punishment. We’ve never been in the position to actually punish a sub. It’s always been scenes and funishment. This feels different, and I need it to leave a lasting impression without going too far.”
“I agree, she needs to learn her lesson regarding personal safety, but also, that we will be consistent and deliver on what we say. Plug, paddle, and orgasm denial?” I knew I would have to wield the paddle, but that was okay.
Colin nodded and took a sip of his coffee. “That should do the trick. Now, here’s a big one… where do we live?”
I laughed, almost choking on my coffee. “We live where we… oh, I see what you're saying, you mean our tiny side-by-side apartment in the industrial end of town and close to work may not be the right place for the three of us? I totally agree, but where?”
Colin was lost in thought while I went through what I knew about Zara. She’d grown up poor and never had anything to call her own. Even her most recent place was a bedroom with roommates. I glanced out the window at the picturesque backyard with the forest beyond. I knew she loved it and had commented often on the unused gardens and if she was going to be here for a while she should restore the vegetable and herb gardens to their former glory.
I glanced at the open side pantry, a spot where she loved to spend time and tried to picture her in there drying leaves and making tea. Would she enjoy that? I thought she would, she had no experience, but good instincts. Her parents had grown up on farms; they had known how to grow things. She’d mentioned her grandparents with a fond tone in her voice. Was it possible that they instilled that love of nature in their only grandchild in the short time they were in her life?
My gaze was pulled to the patio door where a squirrel looked in as if waiting for her. I noticed the open bag of peanuts and remembered the empty hulls on the back lawn. I got up and opened the door. The little rascal only moved a few feet away, trusting I wouldn’t hurt him, and I tossed out a few handfuls of peanuts. Colin watched me puzzled.
“Here,” I said as I took my seat.
“Here what?” Colin asked.
“Let’s make this place ours. We can buy it from the company. When we need to be in the city, we can buy a loft and let her design it with all three of us in mind. What do you think?”
The house’s proximity to Asgard was a big drawing point. The secure and secluded location meant we didn’t have to worry about neighbors or what they might see or think. When there had been a long-term need for a safe house during a job, it was always our first choice. After living here with Zara, the thought of going back to our cramped quarters in the city was about as appealing as hour-old cereal. Going back to the life we had a few months ago would be hard. For me, there was nowhere to go but forward.
“Well, the two of you do seem to like the fish pond.” The corner of Colin’s mouth lifted in amusement.
“And we haven’t even introduced her to the dungeon downstairs yet. I have a feeling we will need that to keep our naughty girl in line.”
We exchanged a smile at the thought of getting our girl tied up and at our mercy. The more I thought about it, the more the idea felt perfect. We could both easily afford the place on our own, but together it wouldn’t even make a dent in our finances. Unless we wanted to stop our work at G&H, we wouldn’t be able to stay here full time but it would be a great home base for us.
“I think that’s a good plan, and I think the dungeon is the best place for her punishment. I’m out of town a lot, Linc. Do you really think I can sustain a healthy relationship between the three of us?”
He wasn’t being a dick—it was a very real question, one I’d been thinking about since the drive home last night. “We’ve been expanding, and you’ve been training men to take your place in the field. If we’re going to give this a try, you should consider limiting your trips abroad. I’m here most of the time and can fill in when you’re gone, but I wouldn’t want things to get unbalanced.”
Just a few months ago, we’d hired several men we’d known in the service as an effort to expand the company. It would take a few more months before they’d be able to take jobs on their own, but when that happened, Colin could take a step back. Gabriel was in a similar situation and wanted to spend more time at home now that he had Rose. Traveling could be left to those without a family. Colin had been running the international teams for years—it was time he learned to share the leadership and involve himself more in strategy instead of tactics. We had plenty of men a decade younger than us chomping at the bit to go into the field.
“I agree, this is a good time for me to help move some of the younger men into more serious positions. I have a few in mind who could easily do what I do. Who knows? Staying stationary might even help in other ways.”
From the look on his face, I knew he was thinking about the night terrors. Would he consider talking to someone? If he could work through that, it would remove one of the largest hurdles that had been between us and a long-term relationship. Zara was turning out to be a positive force in our lives even if she didn’t realize it.
“I hope so,” I said, feeling an excitement I hadn’t felt in years and eager to act on it. “So, we’re agreed? We’re all in. Now all we have to do is help Zara learn where her boundaries are, get her to agree to move in with us, and oh, let’s not forget, get rid of Mihal and the Albanians.”
Colin laughed. “That’s quite the to-do list, brother. Yes, it’s time for us to move on and create a new path for ourselves.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t have said it better.”
“I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee, then head down to prepare the dungeon. You can take the princess the coffee, and we’ll have a healthy lunch before we convene downstairs. Wouldn’t want her fading on us too fast.” His eyebrows waggled suggestively, making me laugh.
How long had it been since we’d felt this sort of optimism? Looking back, our lives since leaving the service had been a series of moving forward without a real goal in mind. Yes, we’d built a solid company and helped lots of people but those weren’t personal achievements as much as they were professional. Knowing that we were working toward making our lives better gave me a hope for the future that I had thought was lost.
“Sounds good to me. I’ll call Gabe and let him know we won’t be in today. See you back here at 1200.”
I fixed a cup of coffee for Zara and took it upstairs, arriving just in time to see her stumble into the bathroom. She didn’t even notice me, so I placed the mug down on the nightstand. When I heard the water from the shower, the temptation to join her was strong, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist her naked wet body and we had plans before I could bring her the pleasure I wanted.
Since we were trying for something permanent, skipping over punishment and consequences would set the wrong tone. BDSM relationships were an intricate balance, and when you added in that we were a triad, it was even more complicated. I knew she’d never been in a relationship like the one we wanted but thought it would be good for her.
She’d grown up among chaos without any rules. Without anyone caring about her enough to set limits or expectations. At its core, that is what the control aspect of BDSM was. A Dominant cared for the sub and guided them. In return, the submissive trusted the Dominant enough to cede their control. Colin and I had no interest in controlling every aspect of her life, but when it came to health and safety, there were lines that couldn’t be crossed and she had done that.
If we ignored that, there would always be questions on both sides going forward. She may not have consciously put herself at risk, but her actions had shown a lack of forethought and respect for us as her protectors.
Faster than I had anticipated, the water turned off and the door to the bathroom opened to reveal Zara in a bathrobe, her wet hair wrapped up in a towel. Her face flushed with embarrassment when she saw me sitting on the bed waiting for her.
“I brought you coffee.” I held up the mug so she could see it.
“Thank you,” she took the drink and sat down beside me, nervously rubbing the handle of her mug. “I’m sorry about last night—or, um,” she swallowed hard, “I mean this morning.”
She was obviously contrite but nervous as well. Her gaze flicked around the room as if searching for something, and when she didn’t find it, she relaxed. Was she happy that it was me waiting for her and not both of us?
“Can I ask why you phoned me and not Colin?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged and looked down as if afraid to meet my eyes. “You seem more understanding. And with his sleep issues, I thought you’d be less angry at being woken up because I’d stupidly gotten myself lost.”
It took all my self-control not to laugh out loud. If she’d thought I would be the one less likely to punish her, we’d soon be correcting that misconception. Yes, Colin was more vocal in his frustrations and emotions, but when it came to punishments, he was a marshmallow compared to me. I’d been called a sadist by many of our subs, though I wasn’t sure that was necessarily correct. More it was that Colin shied away from causing pain of any sort, where I knew that it was sometimes necessary. Whether to heighten pleasure or drive home a lesson, I had no problem using whatever methods were necessary. Once I was sure I could speak without laughing, I tilted her chin up so our eyes met.
“I see. Well, I’m glad you understand that you’re in trouble, princess.”
Her face turned a mottled pink and red. “I’m sorry. I apologized. I don’t know what more I can do.”
Something about her open vulnerability and the honest need to make things right had my cock hardening in my pants. “What you did, cannot happen again. Colin and I have agreed that you need a punishment to firmly learn that lesson.”
Her eyes flew wide, and the healthy color in her cheeks suddenly drained. “What does a punishment mean, exactly?”
“It means”—without releasing her chin, I ran a finger along her cheek while still forcing eye contact—“we will use pain to enforce the lesson and rules into your mind and to clear the slate between us. We’ll talk in detail over lunch with Colin so you fully understand and can agree. Being with us means you’ll have to accept the consequences of your actions. Some rules are negotiable but not when it comes to health and safety. Can you accept that?”
She tried nodding, but I still had hold of her chin. She licked her lips. “Yes, Sir.”
Those two words were music to my ears, and my libido. “Good. Now drink up and then get dressed. We’ll see you downstairs for lunch and discussions.”
I left the room before the temptation of kissing her grew too strong. It wasn’t the kiss that would be the problem but what would follow. A man’s self-control was only so good. My last comment would leave her something to think on. Hopefully, she wouldn’t stall. It was time to start as we meant to continue and I couldn’t wait.