Chapter 14
Leah
A torrent of delight surges through my veins. Finally—finally our bodies are together, as close as two people can be. I immediately lift up again, searching for that primal friction.
Gage grabs my hips and forces me back down. “No. Slower, sweetheart.”
Is he trying to torture me? “But I need to move.”
“But it’ll be over before it begins if you do.”
He’s already that close ? Then an idea hits me—I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. “Wait—Gage, is this your first time?”
His laugh is so sudden, it startles me.
My cheeks become hot. I’m glad he can’t see my face in the darkness. “Don’t laugh at me, it was a real question.”
“I’m sorry.” His laughter tapers off. “It’s been a very long time since I’ve done this with anyone, Leah, but it isn’t my first time.”
“Okay.” I’m embarrassed to have asked, but the way he smooths his hands over my hips takes away the sting of it.
“You can ask me anything,” he whispers, kissing my ear. “I’m sorry I laughed.”
“You’re already forgiven. It was a stupid question.”
“Not stupid at all.” He clears his throat. “I realize this is…unconventional.”
“It is, but I don’t mind.” Despite the strangeness of making love in absolute darkness, he’s communicating, talking. There are no red flags that I can see. I feel safe here with him, cared for.
He moves slightly. I move in response, tightening around him. He takes a deep, shuddering breath and holds me close.
“You’re okay?” I ask.
“Yes, baby girl. I’m okay.”
He pushes up on my hips, signaling that I can move, so I do.
“Slow.” Banding an arm around my waist, he brings his hand up to cup one of my breasts. “Remember to go slow.”
I do my best, lifting and lowering as slowly as possible. It’s excruciating and exquisite all at once, the perfect torture. Quiet moans escape my throat. It feels so good, I can’t hold them back.
“That’s right, Leah.” Gage pumps his hips, matching my movements. “You’re so good at this, you feel amazing.”
We continue like that, meeting each other at a slow pace. Impatience builds within me.
“Please?” I kiss his neck, his prickly cheeks, his firm lips.
He grins against my mouth. “All right, little girl. Take your pleasure.”
Even though he’s finally released me to do what I want, I don’t immediately start bouncing up and down on him. I increase the pace in increments, enjoying the control. I rock forward as I go. My clit drags over him in a way that has sparks filling my vision.
His fingers are tight around my nipple as he tugs and pinches.
Yes, holy shit, it feels so good. I put my hands on his shoulders for more leverage, lifting and falling on his lap, taking every inch of him. I’ll come soon—it’s building deep inside of me, molten pleasure ready to erupt.
I know this won’t last. It can’t. Nothing is forever.
So I’ll be amazing. He won’t be able to do this with anyone else—not without remembering how good this is.
Gage kisses and sucks at my throat. “Come for me, Leah.”
I burst with a shameless scream, my body ablaze with heat and delight, my pussy gripping Gage’s cock.
“So good,” he groans, twisting us around so he’s on top of me.
He raises my arms up past my head and holds them there. I keep my legs wrapped around him as he strokes within me, again and again. So full, so stretched, and so very close together.
“Leah.” My name emerges from his lips as a prayer. “Leah, Leah .”
I kiss his chest, his neck, whichever part of him I can reach with my mouth. His skin is salty, fever-warm. “Yes, Gage. Just like that. I’m here.”
Other than the complete darkness making me feel blindfolded, there isn’t anything kinky about this sex. It’s me and Gage. No games. No power exchange.
My heart is so full, bursting with love for him. It aches to keep the words inside.
“Leah—” He thrusts a final time, his body shuddering with release, locked against me with the force of his orgasm.
I keep my legs tight around him, wanting to hold him here forever. My body is satisfied, but my heart is confused. This is one of the most powerful sexual experiences I’ve had. He kept us in the dark, and yet I feel more exposed and opened up than ever.
Is this what it could be like, for people who love each other forever? Do they get this all the time?
Gage kisses my neck. His whiskers are deliciously rough on my skin. “Are you all right?”
“It was perfect,” I whisper.
“Yes, it was.” He covers my mouth with his in a long, languorous kiss. Full of feeling—tenderness, affection.
Making love with Gage was perfect. Nothing will ever be as perfect again.
But like all forms of love, it will never last.
And the lights are off, so he can’t see the tears rolling down my cheeks.
* * *
Gage
Leah’s still sleeping when I finish showering and dressing for the day. Curled on her side, she holds the sheet tight in her fist. Her full lips are parted slightly, her face soft and sweet. I’m hit with a bolt of tenderness so strong, I freeze in place, staring.
I haven’t had an orgasm in front of another person since before the sex tape leaked. But I did that with Leah. I trusted her with more than she even knows.
And that’s why I need to continue working on myself. I want to give her a solid relationship, one untouched by the baggage and hang-ups from my past.
I write her a note. I have an appointment. I’ll be back this afternoon before work.
I look over at her sleeping form, turn the paper over, and lower the pen to the page once more.
I am the predator
She is the prey
But her kisses consume me
She swallows me whole ?—
I drop the note next to her phone where she’ll find it when she wakes.
* * *
Leah
Gage’s side of the bed is cold when I wake. I sit up, listening for sounds of him in the shower or kitchen. The penthouse is silent.
At least the curtains are slightly open, allowing in a sliver of morning light. Gage must have parted them before he left. He knows I don’t like waking up in the dark.
I go to grab my phone and find a piece of paper next to it. Gage left me a note that he has an appointment.
I’m a little bummed he isn’t here to wake up with me. I wonder if we would’ve had sex again if he’d stayed.
I turn over the paper and find…a poem?
I trace the words with my fingertip. My face stretches in what is probably the world’s goofiest smile. He wrote me a poem. No one has ever written me a poem before.
His gesture gives me a surge of confidence as I leave for my meeting with Olivia Santiago.
And apparently, her friends. Because as I walk toward the coffee shop where we’re supposed to meet, she texts me. A couple of her friends are insisting on coming as well.
I groan so loudly, another pedestrian takes a comical step to the side, avoiding me.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I reassure him.
“Are you sure? You look like you’re gonna hurl.”
My laugh sounds a touch hysterical as I wave him away. “No, I’m good, promise. Thanks.”
He quickens his pace until he’s far away from me.
Olivia follows up her text with a request for my order. I type it in automatically, my brain whirling.
I was nervous enough about meeting Olivia.
Now I have to meet her friends at the same time?
Assuming our meeting went well, I was planning to ask her about her relationship.
If she’s married to two men, it must be a positive experience.
But were there bumps on the road? Did her husbands battle things out at first, like Gage and Dmitri did?
I won’t be able to ask these questions with other people around.
It’s fine, though. The main point is to talk about her after-school non-profit and how I can bring something new to the program.
With all of my fretting, I reach V’s Café in no time. My heart feels like a chunk of granite in my chest, but I stride into the coffee shop with a bounce in my step.
“Leah!” A short woman with brown hair waves at me and stands up, as if the wave wasn’t enough to catch my attention.
She’s with a blond woman and a brunette with curly, dark brown hair.
I plaster on a smile and approach their table. “Hi, Olivia?”
“That’s me.” When she smiles, her gray eyes crinkle at the corners. They’re a softer gray than Dmitri and Danica’s, and she has on a gray silk blouse to match them. “These are my good friends Samantha and Ella.”
Samantha is the blonde. She has her hair up in a messy bun. Ella?—
“I know you,” I say. “Cinderella.”
Ella gives me a soft smile. “I remember meeting you.”
I roll my lips together. I’m not supposed to say where I met her.
“It’s okay.” She gestures to the other two women. “We all go to the same club.”
“Wow, what are the chances?” I look around me in wonder.
“In San Esteban?” Samantha laughs. Of the three women, she seems the most extroverted. “The chances are super high. This city has a reputation.”
She’s right about that. San Esteban is one of the more sexually open-minded cities in California. And of course three friends might all frequent the same club.
“All right, let’s get down to business.” Olivia points to the fourth seat, where a steaming mocha is waiting. “I got your coffee, and I want to hear all about test prep.”
“Thanks for the drink.” I take the seat and launch into my spiel.
I talk about how, as a tutor, I primarily work with students and families who can pay me.
I talk about how test preparation has proved helpful for the students taking standardized tests.
And I talk about the exercises and strategies I've developed to teach those skills.
Ella, Samantha—and most importantly, Olivia—are riveted.
“I know it’s not flashy or fun like the artistic outreach of San Esteban Youth Arts,” I finish. “But I’d still love an opportunity to share these skills with students who might not be able to afford my services otherwise.”
“I think it’s brilliant.” Samantha raises her coffee cup in my direction.
“Yeah, I love it.” Olivia beams. “It’s inspiring to see our students flourish in art, but a lot of them don’t want to do art as a job—and we know how hard it is to find full-time work as artists. Helping these students kick ass on college admission tests is the logical next step. Let’s do it.”
We spend the next hour brainstorming ideas and hashing out some logistics. Obviously, I’m not the best choice to run the whole thing because I love my tutoring work and my students. But I definitely want to be as involved as possible, and I make sure Olivia knows that.
It’s the most normal I’ve felt in several days.
Until a woman our age catches my attention across the room. She holds up her phone like she’s taking photos.
I shift in my seat, trying to move sideways and hide my face. Nobody has approached me when I’m in public, but I also haven’t gone out much since everything blew up with Nicola.
Ella waves the woman over.
“What are you doing?” I ask in horror.
The woman beams. “Are you sure? I’m a fan and now I’m embarrassed you caught me.”
Ella stands up. “It’s fine—do you want a selfie with me?”
“Yes! Ohmygod, a selfie with Cinderella? Yes!” The woman hurries over, phone clutched in her hand. “Thank you!”
They smile big and take the selfie. The woman thanks Ella several times and then returns to her seat across the coffee shop.
Only once she’s gone do I relax.
“Leah, are you okay?” Samantha cocks her head in my direction.
“Uh…yeah. Fine.” I shake my shoulders, trying to loosen up. “For a second, I thought she was trying to take my picture. But thankfully, not everything is about me.”
“I’m perfectly happy letting Ella have the spotlight.” Samantha fiddles with a strand of blond hair that’s come loose from her bun. “But I want to look good for the benefit. What’s everyone wearing?”
We talk dresses and hairstyles. We even make plans to get our hair done together at Olivia’s place beforehand.
The easy chatter reminds me of hanging out with Danica, and a pang of regret strikes me.
She would love these women—they’re wholesome and funny and sassy.
I wish Danica would respond to my texts, let me apologize again, forgive me.
And as the conversation continues, I realize all three of these women are with two guys apiece.
Maybe there’s hope for a solid relationship with Dmitri and Gage, after all? I’m kidding myself, though. Imagining such a future will only hurt me more in the end.
“Hold on.” Ella interrupts my dark thoughts. “We have Olivi-uh, Ell-uh, Samanth-uh, and Le-uh. So we’re the Uhs.”
Olivia laughs. “That is, without a doubt, the dorkiest thing I ever heard.”
“Which makes it perfect.” Samantha claps her hands like she’s dusting them off.
I look between the three of them, marveling at how easily they brought me into their little group.
Danica has been my only friend for so long, I didn’t know a group of girls could be like this.
Fun, welcoming, generous. They make everything seem so easy.
If I introduced Danica to the group, she could be the fifth Uh .
The four of us exchange phone numbers before parting ways outside the coffee shop. Olivia immediately creates a group text.
Grinning to myself, I pop on my sunglasses and start walking back to Gage’s building. My heart feels lighter than it has in a long time. The sun is shining, the city is beautiful.
A feminine voice calls from behind me, “Hey, Leah!”
I turn around, expecting to see one of the Uhs, but the woman isn’t familiar at all. Long, blond hair falls straight down her back, and her eyes are hidden by sunglasses.
I lift my own sunglasses, hoping to see her better. “Sorry, do I know you?”
She’s running full-tilt, so I wait for her to catch up. Maybe I left something in the coffee shop.
She doesn’t slow down until she reaches me.
“Whore.” She shoves my shoulder.
I step back in surprise. A bystander gasps. Several other pedestrians gawk at us.
“Excuse me?” I rub my shoulder where she pushed me. It’ll bruise. My feet feel glued to the sidewalk.
I don’t know this person, I don’t have anything to do with her or her life. And she’s calling me a whore out of nowhere. Shoving me.
“You know what? Never mind.” I don’t want to fight. I turn around to hurry away.
“You don’t get to run away from me, you slut!” Her body barrels into mine from behind.
Not expecting to be body-checked in the middle of the sidewalk, I lose my balance.
Someone screams.
The ground rushes toward my face.