28. In Which Everything Goes Wrong
In Which Everything Goes Wrong
Sam
Something about waking up as the big spoon the night after she’d pegged Q was amusing.
She smiled before she even opened her eyes.
She was holding on tightly to him from behind, his ass nestled in her groin, her breasts flattened against his back.
When she moved her hand against his stomach, she felt his cock brush against the back of her hand.
Which was apparently all it took to wake him. He let out a small groan before turning over to face her, a small smile on his face.
“Good morning.”
She didn’t get a chance to reply before he rolled her onto her back and showed her a good morning.
So, to say she was in a good mood when they reached her apartment was an understatement. She’d been satisfied in just about every way she could be satisfied. Her body ached pleasantly in all the right ways and the deep-seated contentment settled in her core emanated outwards, like a soothing glow.
“What do you want to do today?” It was a cold, cold Sunday, and she could totally go for some couch snuggling.
“I thought we were watching The Two Towers,” Q said, his hand on her back as he followed her into the apartment.
They’d watched The Fellowship of the Ring the week before.
They’d have to wait two weeks for The Return of the King since he was going to still be in North Carolina with his family next weekend, but that was okay.
“Just making sure. We could always do something before. Or after.” She smiled at him over her shoulder, hefting her bag on her shoulder as she headed to her closet to put it down.
She’d put the clothes away later, but if she didn’t put the bag in her closet, who knew when she would actually get around to unpacking it.
She’d known she would want comfy clothes today, so she was wearing her fuzzy pajama pants and a comfortable hoodie.
A far cry from the outfit she’d worn into Marquis, yet Q looked at her the same way—like she was the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen.
He flashed her a grin, then moved toward her kitchen, probably to get something to drink.
Just that smile made her weak in the knees.
Fuck, she was so head over heels for him… but it was too soon, wasn’t it? How fast did it take to fall in love?
She’d never been in love before, so she had no idea.
While she’d deeply cared about a few of her exes and even loved a few of them, she’d never felt for any of them the way she did about Q. Should she tell him?
No. She was supposed to wait for him to say it first. Right? That was a thing. Maybe. That or it was a Hollywood thing that influenced her brain into thinking she shouldn’t be the one to say it first, but she didn’t want to come off like a desperate girl.
Putting her bag down just inside her closet, she turned around and came back around the corner into the main room. Q was standing on the other side of the apartment, glass of water in hand, staring down at something on her table…
Oh, wait…
Oh, no…
Oh, shit...
Q
Last night and this morning had been utterly perfect.
He’d given himself completely to Sam, and she’d given him the night of his life.
Everything still ached but in a good way, letting him know he’d had a damn good night.
He was looking forward to a day of cuddling with her, away from the cold, in her cozy apartment—which was a lot warmer than his house on days like today.
They’d cuddle under a blanket and watch The Two Towers, then he’d convince her to let him take her grocery shopping, so he could make chili for dinner. He’d secretly make a double batch, so she could have leftovers for the week. She should even be able to freeze some if she wanted.
That way he wouldn’t have to worry about her too much while he was away for the week with his family for Christmas.
So, the very last thing he expected to see laid out on the small table, just outside her galley kitchen where they normally ate, was a printout of a job offer in Ohio. Staring at the paper, Sam’s question to Freddy about the club in Ohio drifted through his head.
She hadn’t been asking because she’d been surprised that Ohio would have a kink club.
She’d been asking because she’d been offered a job in Ohio.
Holy fuck.
“Q… I… it’s not what it looks like.”
The stammering statement made his head snap up. Anger roiling through him, he very carefully put down the glass he was holding, pulling back on the instinct that said to throw the water over the offensive paperwork.
“It looks like you printed out a job offer from a practice in Ohio.” His voice sounded odd to his ears. Flat. Almost robotic. He pressed his hands against his thighs to stop the fine tremor going through them. “The letter says they loved talking to you, so I’m assuming you interviewed with them.”
Damn his ability to read so fast. It hadn’t taken more than a quick glance at the papers for the words to take shape and convey their meaning in his head.
His heart was beginning to pound harder and faster in his chest, making it difficult for him to breathe and to think. There was a white noise ringing in his ears, but he made himself focus when she turned bright red.
“Okay, so it is kind of what it looks like, but that’s not what I meant…” She looked at him helplessly, her expression tugging at his heart strings, but he was too angry to let it affect him.
“So, what did you mean? Because if it’s exactly what it looks like, then it looks like you were thinking about taking a job in a completely different state, and you hadn’t even mentioned it to me.”
Really it was the fact that she hadn’t said anything to him. She’d mentioned looking for a new job, but she sure as hell had said nothing about looking so far away or doing an interview.
“Because I wasn’t going to take it.”
“Then why did you do the interview? Why is the offer printed out? Have you told them no yet?” Q rapped his knuckles against the papers, hard enough to hurt, and he welcomed the physical pain as a distraction to the way his chest was starting to hurt.
He tried to take a deep breath, but it was like the air got caught in his throat, making his lungs ache from the lack.
When Sam’s mouth snapped shut, he knew she hadn’t told them no yet.
“Were you just going to keep this a secret until I found out you were moving one day? Or had already moved?”
“No, of course not!” She reached up to rub her forehead, her eyes filling with tears as if it was finally hitting home to her how upset he was—and now she was upset too.
Good, she should be. He’d just had the rug yanked out from under him, and she’d been the one to do it.
Acting innocent, as if she hadn’t done anything wrong, was only making him even angrier. “I would never do anything like that.”
“All evidence to the contrary. This seems like it’s a pattern with you.”
“We’re not in high school anymore!”
“Then stop acting like it! Why the hell didn’t you say anything to me?”
“I told you I was applying to jobs.” Her voice wavered, her hands twisting in front of her. She said the words weakly, lacking any force behind them, and the fact she wasn’t apologizing and still making excuses made his temper flare.
“You didn’t tell me you were thinking about moving out of state for one.
You didn’t even mention the interview or the job offer.
That tells me you didn’t want me to know, which means you knew it would be a problem and your solution was to not say a word about it.
” Fuck, it felt like his chest was caving in on itself, and it took all of his willpower to force his shoulders back.
He’d been getting in deeper and deeper—hell, he was fucking in love with her—and she’d been thinking about leaving the state.
Thank God he hadn’t said the words to her yet. At least he’d have a little dignity left intact—what little he had left after last night. And he intended to keep it.
He couldn’t imagine what her reaction would have been to find out he’d fallen in love with her while she was planning on possibly leaving him.
This was so much worse than high school.
“I have to go.”
He started walking toward the door, moving as quickly as he could without running. The small apartment, which had always felt cozy, now felt too small, and the walls were closing in around him. He couldn’t breathe properly. Not when he was in such a confined space with her.
He needed to get out before he said something he’d regret.
“Q!”
Hand on the knob, he looked over his shoulder. Sam stared at him, wringing her hands in front of her, tears sliding down her cheeks. The look in her eyes nearly made him turn back around and comfort her… but what the hell would he be comforting her for?
For lying to him? For misleading him? For saying he was her boyfriend, then not actually behaving like they were in a relationship?
He shook his head and turned away.
Sam
When the door slammed behind Q, Sam dropped to her knees, pressing her hands over her heart, which felt like a great, gaping space in her chest. Tears dripped down her cheeks onto her shirt, creating two huge wet splotches, and she barely even cared. It hardly mattered.
Q had just walked out of her life as quickly as he blown into it.
If only she could have found the right words to make him understand, to make him stay, but he’d been so angry, and her brain and her tongue had frozen in place.
Especially because there was some truth to what he had said.
She’d done the interview.
She’d printed out the job offer.
She hadn’t rejected it yet.
Sure, she meant to, but part of her hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how much they were offering. About how much cheaper housing and living expenses would be. About being able to make enough that she didn’t have to depend on anyone else.
About feeling like she was worthy of Q’s attention.
Oof.
The realization hit her right in the gut.
Part of the reason the job was so appealing was if she was making that much money, she would feel better about herself. She’d told Q they weren’t in high school anymore, yet here she was with the same mindset.
She hadn’t told Q about the job for the same reason she hadn’t told him why she couldn’t go to prom.
She’d been ashamed.
Still felt ashamed because she hadn’t been able to equal the amount he spent on her, and she didn’t want him to know how badly she was struggling. So, even though she’d told him about the job search, she’d downplayed it. Maybe if she hadn’t, he would have been more understanding.
Maybe if she’d been honest, he would have reassured her that he didn’t think less of her.
Maybe if she’d been honest, she wouldn’t be left all alone in her apartment, instead of cuddling on the couch with him.
The feeling of loneliness intensified as she wiped some of the tears from her face with the back of her arm and got to her feet. Several long minutes had passed. Q wasn’t coming back. Sniffling, Sam went to get her phone from her purse.
She’d fucked up.
Q wasn’t the only one she hadn’t told about the possible job. She hadn’t told her friends either. Or her dad. Out of all of them, Q knew the most.
She had wanted to keep it all a secret.
That ended now.
She still didn’t know what she was going to do. There was a part of her that really wanted to run away to Ohio. A completely new start, making all the money she’d wanted… and living on her own, comfortably, but with no friends, her dad hours away, and no Q.
What she did know was she didn’t have to go through this heartbreak alone. It was time to start letting people in.
“Hello?” Morgan’s greeting was full of curiosity, which made sense since Sam rarely called. She always texted.
As the tears welled up again, choking her voice, she wished she’d texted this time.
“Morgan, I fucked up.”
Saying the words out loud made them even more real. Sam sat down on the couch as she started crying again.