6. Where The Plan Slowly Moves Forward （And A Muse Lands Face-First In The Empresses’s Lap… Of Course, It’s Erato…）
WHERE THE PLAN SLOWLY MOVES FORWARD (AND A MUSE LANDS FACE-FIRST IN THE EMPRESSES’S LAP… OF COURSE, IT’S ERATO…)
Hera watched Nemesis observe the crowds milling about on the street beneath them and wondered what this woman did on the daily. Surely there had to be something mundane, beside—
“I build Lego sets. I am running out of space for them, but I picked it up as a hobby, and now I am stuck with it. It’s surprisingly addictive.”
“I didn’t mean to ask.” Hera wanted to know when she’d become so careless with her thoughts.
“Sure you did. Your question was all over your face. I fascinate you.” Nemesis smirked and popped a baby carrot from the tray in front of them into her smiling mouth. Hera looked away. She’d better not order any ice cream, otherwise she’d have difficulty controlling—
“Say, would some dulce de leche ice cream be something you keep around the house?” Nemesis’s smug grin grew wider. A bear appeared in the living room with another tray. Hera sighed.
“Why are you here, Nemesis?”
Hera sat down. Nemesis did not.
“Just dropping by. On my way to other places.”
“What places would those be?” Hera looked into Nemesis’s eyes and smiled as they dilated slightly. Two could play this game.
“Zeus is holding a few meetings in town. I thought I might find some of them interesting.”
Hera sat up.
“Those are shareholders’ meetings. Then the Board. Then the Executive level.”
Nemesis picked up the ice cream bowl and the silver spoon. Hera braced herself. The red lips tipped at the corners.
“I know. I am on the Board.”
Hera gasped.
“You are on the Board? How did you— Does he know?”
Nemesis scooped up a spoon of ice cream.
“He doesn’t seem to know much. He’s entirely obsessed with… other things.”
Full lips wrapped around the sparkling utensil, and Hera forgot what they were talking about. Then, the pink tongue came into play, and she forgot why they were talking to begin with.
The sound of an incoming text message chimed. Nemesis put down the spoon. A moment later, she rolled up her sleeves. Hera gulped at the sight of muscled forearms.
Was she saying something?
“You’re leaving?”
Nemesis turned to her, and a perfect eyebrow lifted.
“Is this your way of saying you’ll miss my company?”
Hera tsked.
“I was just wondering where you’re going, is all.”
Hera tried for nonchalant.
“Sabine Goddard wants to speak to me. She’s… interesting.”
Hera frowned.
“She’s also very married.”
Nemesis let out a bark of laughter.
“I know, this marriage has your fingertips all over it. Happy, sappy, perfect. I know Aphrodite and her cupids make sure the matches fit and all that, but marriages last with your blessing. And you blessed that one, you softie.”
“I never said I didn’t like her wife, or her choice, despite how long it took for her to make it.
” Hera sniffed and got up, trying to put as much distance between herself and Nemesis.
Nemesis, who was not to be thwarted so easily, however, as she crossed the room in three strides of those long legs.
Not that Hera looked at her legs. Because she didn’t.
Nemesis came closer. Hera took a step back. Then another. Then backed right into the wall. Nemesis came closer still, until they were face-to-face. Well, once Nemesis reached out and lifted her chin gently, they were face-to-face.
“And Aphrodite and Athena? And Erato and your sister?” Nemesis’ eyes sparkled in the dusk.
“You have blessed more immortal marriages lately than you have in your long life, Hera. Don’t think I’ve not noticed.
Don’t think others haven’t noticed either.
Some might even think your plan to take Zeus down a peg is why you did it.
To balance the scales, so to speak. Some good in exchange for all his villainy. ”
It was Hera’s turn to smile. If this was the gossip behind her back, she really could put more fuel to that particular fire.
“I am the Empress of Olympus, Vengeance. I don’t have to explain myself.”
Hera expected a leer. Maybe a smirk. She did not count on a concerned stare.
“Sadly, lying becomes you, Your Majesty. Or avoiding the truth, in this instance.”
Hera shook her head to free herself from the cold fingertips. The eyes watching her stayed even and dark, belying their color.
“Darkness begot her. Darkness consumes her.”
The voice of the Fate rang in Hera’s ears. The frisson of anticipation ran up her spine. Nemesis lowered her face, full lips grazing Hera’s cheekbone. She wanted them lower. Lower… Lower…
“Your Majesty, Muse Erato is here.” The bear let out a squeak and disappeared. Hera wished she’d had a conversation with them about their timing.
Nemesis’s mouth lifted off her skin. Hera told herself she did not regret it.
“I’m sure you will hear from me soon, Your Majesty.” Nemesis nodded to Erato and closed the door behind herself.
“See that I do,” Hera murmured. She really did want to have the last word. She needed to.
Erato swaggered in, her boots making weird, rubbery noise on the polished floors.
“I stand by what I said last week. She’s hot.” Erato plopped on the sofa Hera had vacated earlier.
“I can’t believe I have to ask everyone in my life the same damn question, but why are you here?
Why is everyone here? Always somewhere around me?
You all left me the fuck alone for centuries, and now no one can seem to do without me?
What do you want? Haven’t I already given you everything you needed? ”
“Whoa!” Erato lifted her hands, palms up. “Yes, you already gave me everything I needed. I don’t know why everyone else is on your case, but have you considered that it’s because we like you?”
Hera gave her a bland stare.
“For a somewhat decent writer, you can’t lie for shit, Muse.”
Erato shrugged.
“Want me to try harder?”
“To explain?”
“To lie. However, I have not lied in this instance. I happen to like you very much.” Erato picked up Nemesis’s discarded ice cream and sniffed it. Clearly satisfied with what she found, she slurped the almost melted caramel concoction.
Hera wanted to throw something at the irritating muse, but her head was beginning to throb, the unfortunate side effect of being around the boisterous creature, and so she did not risk it.
“I’d rather you just weren’t here, Erato.”
The muse dropped her spoon, which clattered against the porcelain and made Hera’s ears ring. The headache intensified.
“Okay, but now you are scaring me. Calling me that.”
“It is your name, remember? Dear Helios, I still don’t understand what my sister sees in you.”
Erato grinned.
“It’s not for other people to see, if you catch my drift. I mean, I can try and explain…”
“Absolutely not!” Hera clapped, and the bear appeared again, his face apprehensive. She caught the grimace and sighed. She was scaring her own bears now. Splendid.
“Tea. Please.” His jaw hit the floor.
“Either you’ve never asked for tea before, or you have never said please, and I tend to think it’s the latter, and now I am doubly concerned.” Erato shooed the spooked bear. “Also, how on Earth are you surrounded by these men? Like, of all the possibilities. Bears?”
Hera pursed her lips.
“I don’t actually remember. At one point, they worshipped me. Isn’t it perfectly normal for a beautiful woman to be worshipped by a sleuth of bears? And here we are. I pay them a salary and everything. They are unionized. Get benefits. Have paternity leave.”
“If you tell me your bears have PTO—”
“Six weeks.” The bear whispered. Hera thanked him for the tea. He bowed, then stuck his tongue at the muse before disappearing.
Erato gaped.
“Reconsidering your career choices, Muse?”
Erato shrugged.
“Just goes to show all the misconceptions about you. Dite only gives us muses four weeks.”
Hera sipped her tea.
“Should’ve come to work for me.”
Erato slurped more ice cream.
“You frown on extramarital sex.”
“I have extramarital sex.” Hera said.
“AHA! J’accuse!”
Erato dropped the bowl, fortunately emptied of ice cream, on the pristine carpet and pointed her finger at Hera.
“You accuse me of what exactly? Having sex? I’ve been divorced since the institution of divorce became legal in the world.”
And uncomfortable silence reigned.
“Ahem…” Erato seemed to consider her thoughts carefully. “So about all this extramarital sex you’ve been having, Your Majesty—”
“Are you trying to ask me if I slept with Nemesis? I have. Did I shock you? Did the straitlaced, boring, jilted Hera surprise you, Muse? I’ve been with women before. Just never…”
Hera trailed off, trying to catch up with her mouth.
What was she trying to say? Why was she trying to say it?
“Just never what?” Chin in her palm, Erato was listening avidly. Hera shrugged.
“Nothing, Muse. Just nothing. Again, what are you doing here? And don’t give me any bullshit answer.”
“Well,” Erato dropped her face in her palms. “I-am-here-to-keep-you-company-and-make-sure-you-don’t-do-anything-foolish.”
She rushed through the explanation. Hera all but smacked her head on the wall behind her. If not for the headache.
“Demeter sent you?”
“Dite too. Hades voted yes. And so did the other muses.” Before Hera could summon her power, Erato lifted her arms in the air. “Do not kill the messenger. Oh, and Hermes voted yes too, so actually you can kill him.”
“And they sent you? You? The sensible, calm, chill, reasonable Muse of Smut? To keep me in line? Of all the possible deities they sent you?”
Erato dropped the arms.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Aaaaaaa!” Hera actually screamed. These people were driving her crazy.
Erato all but leapt to her feet, then predictably stumbled and fell flat on her face right into Hera’s lap, tangled up in the ivory skirts and flailing pathetically, further pulling on Hera’s dress.
Hera thought that the indignity of this situation could not be worse. The dress slid down perilously on her chest, exposing the tops of her breasts.
And then Zeus walked in.
Hera promptly reconsidered her earlier assertion.
Clearly, things could get worse. Because Hermes was on the heels of Zeus.
The Messenger blinked once. Then blinked again.
Erato chose to grunt and pull harder on Hera’s dress.
Hermes’s note-taking pencil was in his hand in a second, and he was off, scribbling away furiously on his phone.
Hera stopped moving. Erato, perhaps sensing her motionless state, followed suit.
“Ahem, Hera?” Zeus asked, and immediately ran out of words. Hermes obviously had not, since he was still scribbling.
“I am tired of asking all sorts of creatures what they’re doing in my house. But I guess now it is your turn, Zeus.”
He looked at her rather uncomprehendingly. Erato still hadn’t moved, her face perilously close to parts of Hera’s body she did not, under any circumstances, want near her sister’s future wife.
And speaking of…
“Sister, I came to show you what Erato did—”
Hera sighed. The tip of Hermes’s pencil broke. Zeus coughed awkwardly, face still uncomprehending. Demeter stopped, took another step, then reached into the folds of Hera’s skirt to fish a disheveled Erato from them.
“I see Erato chose to show you herself.” Demeter dropped her fiancée on the floor and glared. Zeus backed away. Hermes’s hand was surely cramping by now. As if to prove her right, the Messenger flexed his fingers and started typing, after pocketing the broken pencil.
Hera sighed again.
What was happening to her life lately? Was this how people felt before the very end?
She stood up and rearranged her dress, slowly ensuring her cleavage was covered. She could have sworn Zeus’s breath had caught. Which was strange, he hadn’t cared about her cleavage or any part of her in years. Centuries, to be perfectly honest.
“I have been asking everyone the same question for days now,” Hera said as she finally turned to face the room. “And I am tired of opening my mouth and nobody providing any satisfying answers. So, would you appease me this one time, since you never did, Zeus?”
“Ah, well, I’m in town for the Board meeting. Came to see if you would be attending this time around? Might be some voting, I gather, so might need you to either give me the proxy or attend yourself…” He trailed off, still stealing looks at her chest.
She looked at Hermes.
“Messenger?”
He finally put away his phone.
“I’m with Zeus. I heard there will be some sort of ruckus at the meetings, so here I am. I was not aware that the ruckus would begin prior to meetings, but I am not mad about that.” He gave her a toothy grin, and she wanted to strangle him.
Out of all of Zeus’s children, he was the one she minded the least, even though he was perhaps the one Zeus rubbed in her face the most, since he had given Hermes one of the most important and visible jobs on Olympus.
Hera was faced with him at all times. Another one of Zeus’ infidelities. Another one of her failures.
“Demeter? How about you? Come to collect your wayward, future wife? I am returning her untouched, believe me.”
Demeter laughed, and Hera heard Erato exhale loudly. They really were sort of adorable. In that gross saccharine way that made one’s teeth hurt.
“Oh, I know she is untouched. It was hilarious to watch all of you scramble just now. Well, not you, sister, since you seem particularly unaffected by having a beautiful woman in your coochie. Or is it that this one is the wrong woman? Or, shall I be more precise, this one is not a certain goddess?”
Hera narrowed her eyes, but otherwise did not move a muscle. She did not appreciate what her sister was implying. Zeus apparently held similar feelings.
“What do you mean, Demeter? Nobody puts their face in Hera’s coo… Nobody. You hear me? She might be old and past her prime. But she’s a mother. Respect demands to be given here. To her age, as I said, at the very least. Muse, explain yourself.”
Erato opened her mouth. Demeter pulled her up by the collar of her leather jacket and brushed past Zeus.
“Stuff it up your pipe and smoke it, old man. Of all the gods, that you should be the one speaking of respect is rich. And speaking of rich, aren’t you late for your very important, very secret Board meetings that are so important you don’t even remember what they are about, and so secret even I know they are taking place? ”
Demeter disappeared with Erato in tow, the muse attempting an explanation even as she was dragged away.
Hera looked at the remaining gods and felt her shoulders tense.
Technically, she didn’t have to go. Technically, she was only nominally on this damn board as a minor shareholder.
Technically… Nemesis’s words about being on the Board made her reach for her purse.
Zeus followed her, blessedly silent. Hermes snickered all the way to the limo.